A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have just come out of a horrible one year relationship with a guy I really loved but am gradually feeling better.I met a lovely guy who said he was 38 to get my attentional. He is 26. He is good looking fit intelligent mature and a lot of fun. Most of his friends are older than him. He dated a woman on 40 for 2 years previously. The catch is he wants us to date now. He says I'm fun and amazing and really likes me. I am always being approached by younger guys as I am lucky to look 38. Sometimes its embarrassing to see the shock on peoples faces when I say I'm nearly 50 so I play my age down a lot.I really want to get to know this guy more and share fun and intimacy. I feel the need to let go and enjoy myself for a while. I have always been the careful, good, do it right, single mum but my son is all grown up and left home.I want to have sex with this hot younger guy who makes me laugh. Am I just a dirty old pervert. It doesn't feel like it. I feel fantastic but I would hate to do something that others frown upon. His mum is 61. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2014): Thinking it's wrong to do this is comparable to someone telling you you're having a midlife crisis because you went out and bought a motorcycle. No! You went out to buy the motorcycle because you could finally afford the motorcycle, and are open to trying new things. When people are younger, they surprisingly are a lot less apt to try new things than they think they are. Go and take that bike for a ride, and rev his engine up.
A
female
reader, Marilissa75  +, writes (13 March 2014):
 Just be honest and upfront. I have dated men up to 11 years younger than me. I personally find it fun at first but I do get attached and start worrying about the future. Be honest with yourself and with him. I wouldn't go more than a few years younger, personally but then again who knows what temptation may grab hold of me in a few years. As long as you are two consenting adults, it is fine.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 March 2014):
 If this adult man wants to have a fun fling with an adult woman and the adult woman wants the same thing...go for it.
who cares what others think?
signed
a woman who is 13+ years older than her husband.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 March 2014):
 ... Do you really care about doing things that " people " frown upon ? You say you are a single mom, lots of people frown upon single mothers too, this has ( luckily ) not prevented you from having and raising your child .
What people, and what frown , too. The Graduate sort of made waves when it came out- but it was almost 50 years ago !
Nowadays nobody denies herself a bit of cougaring , and nobody finds it particularly shocking ( which , in a way, it's a pity , it takes the pleasure of the forbidden fruit :) out of the experience ).
I'd like to warn you, though, and in a different sense than my colleagues.
Be sure that you are on the same page , and that " dating " means exactly the same for both of you, because actually your idea of what constitutes dating may mean something different. Don't be surprised if HIS idea should not involve the sexual monogamy , regularity , or cozy candelight dinners in romantic restaurants that you may envision. Actually he is the one that may say " dating " and mean FWB, and not because he is a liar or a son of a gun, but because he knows that the experience can be fun, fulfilling, even long lasting, but very very improbably serious or future oriented. So he would not put much time and effort in it, he'd just probably try to make you fit at HIS convenience in his schedule, lifestyle and scale of prorities, and at the first sign of strife of complications, adieu Mrs. Robinson.
Now, this does not matter if you can just relax, enjoy, take it a day at a time,as a nice, generous 50th birhday gift from a benevolent Universe :).
If you are the type of person that gets attached quickly, or that 's not good at just rolling with the punches, or likes to always know " where things are going "...then be very careful, you may find yourself having bitten more than you can chew.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (10 March 2014):
 I agree with iAmHereToHelpYou
What you want and what HE wants are two different things, which means it's an "unfair advantage" to sleep with him if that is all you want, when you KNOW he wants more.
Take it as a compliment and give yourself a LITTLE time to get over your last relationship. Not just jump into bed with ANY guy, because you think it will make you forget the horrible ex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2014): Heck NO!!! You are a healthy vivacious secure woman who should do exactly as she pleases. He wants to date you.
An exclusive long-term commitment of any kind, should take much more consideration. His mum is used to him and older women. She may think you're a perv.
Get to know him and evaluate his intentions before jumping into bed with him. Your feelings may attach. You aren't long out of a broken relationship. Please don't play this young man's feelings on the rebound. Pump the breaks. Don't let hormones overrule your common-sense.
Maintain your dignity, and don't act half your age for his sake. He likes you as you are. Mature, attractive, and together.
You are single, your son is all grown up; and there is a young man who is attracted to you, and vice versa.
I would maintain some perspective on the arrangement. Keep your eyes open to be sure you don't miss any red-flags.
He lied about his age. Very minor thing, but deception is deception. As long as you go into this with your eyes wide open; I see absolutely nothing wrong.
I'm gay and single. I don't date men under 37-40. I prefer 50 to 65. Most of them prefer 22!
I was out with friends last Friday-night; and this 30-yearold sits next to me, and bends my ear the whole evening. My friends are winking, and slowly distancing themselves.
Next thing I know, I'm sitting alone with this guy. I didn't exchange numbers or anything. The weird thing is the conversation flowed so easily; and he's like I used to be. What people call an "old-soul." I too preferred flirting with older-men, when I was much younger. Now I like them mature, sophisticated, and charming (with an edge).
He is a teacher, and has traveled extensively in Europe. He had a lot of pictures on his iPhone, and has covered more earth than I have. I noticed the same guy staring me down months ago. I guess he finally got his chance to chat.
I think it's flattering. We are very fortunate, that you and I still have it together as we do. However; we must always keep one-foot in reality. Players prey on mature people for money.
In my case, I like my men like fine wine. I must say, staying fit has many benefits. I work hard to maintain good character. Physically, gravity will eventually win the battle. I don't mind telling my age. My friends in my age-group, hate me for it. They like the younger-guys, and don't like me "outing" our age. They still look pretty good.
We all have gym memberships!
In your case; you go girl!
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A
female
reader, Sensible Alice  +, writes (10 March 2014):
 There almost seems to be a double standard, doesn't there, when it comes to older women dating younger men? With older men it's still not exactly applauded, but it does seem to be more accepted. I guess if you're going into it with your eyes wide open and knowing that you could face disapproval and armed with the possibility it won't last, then why not? We all risk something when we enter a relationship. Just make it clear in the beginning what you both expect out of it.
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A
female
reader, Atsweet1 +, writes (10 March 2014):
 I wouldnt say your a pervert so age is way off by 20+plus years. I wouldnt care the age long as they not children. I have met more women that look young and am shocked by there age. And they feeling some type of way. I guess they start being all in there feelings like you have posted here. I have felt like that when I dated a younger guy that wasnt to mature. Its up to you and him at the end of the day you have to be able to look in the mirror and be comfortable with your choices. I wouldnt care what other people think cause you two are both grown.
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