How do I address this question with my FWB without making him jealous?
Q. Hi I am in a bit of a difficult situation and would really appreciate any advice you people can offer I am in a fwb I thought we were together properly for a few months but he told me he didn't want a girlfriend so I evetually got my head around ...
A. 4 May 2012: FWB is an open ended arrangement where people see different people if they like, and there are no expectations on either party that a full on relationship will be on the cards.
Your fwb has a classic case of wanting to have his cake and eat it. ... (read in full...)
I cannot comprehend how my ex husband could start dating so soon after our divorce
Q. My ex and I divorced but still lived together. We loved each other but i divorced him because of finance differences. I left him and after a few weeks broke all contact because he is bi polar and has sociopathic tendencies. During that time onc...
A. 4 May 2012: You divorced him but you still want to be his one and only? You love him yet you divorced over finances? If it's over, it's over, and what he does is his business. ... (read in full...)
Short term relationships: What does porn and experience do to girls' perceptions of sex and penis size?
Q. I get the impression here that this site is mostly about longer term relationships, but I would like to ask something about the purely sexual side of things because I'm certain that a large percentage of girls LOVE sex and will have sex (sex buddy, ...
A. 4 May 2012: Two things. I think you see women as more similar to men then they really are. Most women are not as into casual sexual encounters as men, and most women do not watch anywhere near as much porn as men.
I agree that if they are honest, woman wo... (read in full...)
Discovered that my husband is on dating sites and talking about his 'soon to be' ex
Q. I am in need of advice once again. I have wrote on here in the past and I guess here we go again. My husband and I have been married for almost a year. He started out good but as the months went on, he started acting different. Saying things li...
A. 3 May 2012: Why do you love this man who treats you like dirt.
It will be hard to divorce or it will be harder to live with all this rubbish from him for any longer.
You deserve better than this. Start divorce proceedings immediately.
He will not cha... (read in full...)
A man I had an affair with will not leave me alone and I'm getting scared!
Q. Hey there, everyone... The situation in nutshell: I am married, but for over a year we were separated: we lived separately and led separate lives. During this time, I met John (a friend of a friend), we went out for a while, but I broke it off ...
A. 3 May 2012: You will have to treaten to go to the police. That will hopefully be enough.
And if it's not, you really should go to the police. You are being harassed if not stalked. ... (read in full...)
my instinct tells me he is unstable but is it abusive ?
Q. I will try and condense a story and I feel that I would really like to know peoples opinion on whether the would regard the following abusive.I have been seeing a Italian man aged 41 .our relationship gas been great and enjoyable until a few days ...
A. 3 May 2012: I can hardly believe you are asking the question. You have been treated horribly by this man, and he sounds like a man with quite big issues.
If you have been in an abusive relationship before your benchmark for normality is different to other pe... (read in full...)
Online dating..what kind of men should I stay away from?
Q. I have had my share of bad men now I am on an online dating site well thought 2 were intersted that did not work I cannot seem to pick myself back up and keep at it what kinds of online dating sites would be good for me. I am single 50 mother...
A. 3 May 2012: Be aware that a lot of men are just looking for sex and not a relationship. Never make excuses for anyone's bad behaviour ie not doing what they say, and little white lies. You can pick up a lot from how someone expresses themself even in online ... (read in full...)
Why is it hard for me to initiate sex with my girlfriend?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for almost a year. We usually would have sex once or twice a week for the first 6 months then it gradually decreased to where we haven't had sex in at least a couple of months. Now I am finding it hard to initiate ...
A. 3 May 2012: Start with the massage. Start with no pressure and just try to make yourselves relaxed and happy and let things take off from there.... (read in full...)
I can't imagine that something as simple as remembering my birthday is so difficult for my boyfriend!
Q. My boyfriend has forgotton my birthday twice. Which is every time, since we've only been together for two years. My bday is right in between Christmas and New Year. We always spend a wonderful Christmas together and a few days later, he gets the ...
A. 3 May 2012: He should have learnt after the first time. Only one year the mistake repeated itself, which is not on.
Does he maybe not have a head for dates etc, perhaps he is in the habit of forgetting important occasions? That could explain but he should b... (read in full...)
I'm happily married now. So why does my ex go to such lengths to remind me he is not a jerk now?
Q. I am have been happily married for 4 years now and have a two year old little boy. Recently an ex messaged me through facebook. He was a major jerk and hurt me pretty bad while we were dating. That's why I broke up and never spoke to the dude ag...
A. 3 May 2012: Yes, I feel he is harbouring regrets about your relationship not working out and has come back to dwell on it possibly now that he is not happy or at some kind of crossroads.
While it is healthy that you have had your discussion and forgiven... (read in full...)
I cheated for 10 years. Is our relationship going to get better?
Q. I am really baffled. See I cheated on my boyfriend over 10 years ago. This man I cheated on him with was well in doubt. Now since I finally came clean about all the sexual experiences I have ever had that I can honestly admit to. Now it's like our...
A. 3 May 2012: No, I feel that his resentment will continue to resurface on and off, and that there will always be trust issues and his feeling that he was evidently not enough for you, or not right for you. It might be better to move on.... (read in full...)
He spent the night and had sex with me. Now nothing! How should I act when I see him next?
Q. I'll try to be brief : he was very interested came on strong said all the right things / I made him wait / so now that we spent a night together and sex // haven't heard anything from him !! It hurts and I need to know how to get past it and how ...
A. 3 May 2012: It does hurt, however old you are, and however much experience of life you have. Just try to be cool and under no circumstances should you make contact with him. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has started gambling again - should I break up with him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 6 months roughly. We are very happy together and I love him a lot, and I hope to be with him in the long-term. However, a few months ago, he told me he used to have a gambling problem - in his first year of un...
A. 20 April 2012: The thrill of gambling is an addiction like anything else, so you are dealing with someone who has that kind of personality, and if it wasn't gambling it would be something else because that kind of urge to seek out excitment and risk is wired into ... (read in full...)
I still can't get over his indiscretion of 3 years ago! What can I do without professional help?
Q. To cut the long story short, me and my boyfriend have been together 3 years now. When we first went out, I found out he spoke to his ex behind my back saying sexual things to her. I was absolutely mortified by this, it made me very ill at the time. ...
A. 20 April 2012: I'm not sure why he felt he was lacking attention from you at the start of the relationship, so I'm guessing that as things hadn't yet become physical between the two of you, he had frustrations and went back a step to someone he knew would play ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend only lasts 5 minutes!
Q. My bf is 14yrs older. I notice now that I dont get more thsn 5 mins of sex with him. He lasted longer before. I dont know why. I just want an orgasm too. But I never get it....
A. 20 April 2012: Not good. If he has had staying power before, it looks like he's now not so worried about your needs. He is past the age of premature ejaculation. If he's not pleasing you in other ways to get you to orgasm and just satisfying himself then that is ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend will not marry me because I am not a born again Christian
Q. My girlfriend will not marry me because I am not a " Born Again " Christian, I am Jewish and we both are not even remotely considering more children since we have already raised our chidren. Also relevant to this statement is my age at 6...
A. 20 April 2012: Is it an excuse? Are there other reasons why she doens't want to get married? I thought your question was going to be regarding a young idealistic couple not people your age. You are good enough to be with but not good enough to marry? I'd say there ... (read in full...)
How can my husband say he cares but he wants someone else?
Q. This is long but I need help! I have been married for almost 10 years with 3 kids. I know all relationships have ups n downs. Here's my story! We have had many great times and also are down times. He plays in a band, works full time his own busi...
A. 22 February 2012: Well I just know that loads of people get to 40 and have a crisis of some sort. The whole midlife crisis thing does truly exist, people worry about what they have acheived so far, whether they have taken the right path, and they suddenly start to ... (read in full...)
I don't want to die without trying anal sex, so is it cheating if I hire a prostitute as my wife refuses to do this?
Q. Just something that I've been thinking about: My wife and I have been together for years. Like any other couple, we have boundaries and red flags in sex. Anal sex is a red flag for her. But I can't get it off of my mind! I don't want to die wit...
A. 22 February 2012: We always want what we cannot have. It's because it's unattainable that you have become consumed by the idea. Going to a prostitute is certainly cheating. I also think it's high risk and won't give you the satisfaction you think. You might end up ... (read in full...)
Am I unreasonable in thinking a marriage should be more?
Q. I need some advice on my current marital situation... My wife and I have been married for six years. She's very religious and, as such, there was a very strict "no sex before marriage" policy - which I agreed to. The problems began after the ...
A. 1 February 2012: The relationship has to come to an end. You have had the patience of a saint. She cannot expect to keep you under these circumstances. You sound like a decent man but quite understandably your bond with your wife has been marred due to lack of ... (read in full...)
Is he sincere about being okay with 'friends without benefits'?
Q. This guy said he wanted to be fwb, but when i told him that i'm not comfortable with that, he said he is ok with being just friends (without the benefits). Do you think he's just pretending that he's ok with that though, and that he'll still ke...
A. 31 January 2012: I think that young single women should avoid fwb like the plague. These arrangements nearly always hurt the female badly so you are right to be very wary. I do think his intentions will continue to be sexual. ... (read in full...)
Tips needed for improving my hand job technique
Q. my boyfriend says im the best hes had in bed, and unbelievable at oral.. but when it comes to hand jobs they need some work. i want to be good at giving hand jobs, i never really do it cause i feel awkward. i dont know what to do because i find its ...
A. 31 January 2012: I agree with strongfb, lubricant is a great aid to literally allowing things to go smoothly. Then it is just like massaging, start gently and generally use a firmer grip towards the end. ... (read in full...)
How can I relax and not sabotage this potentially wonderful relationship?
Q. Hi everyone. A quick question, I am in a relationship with a stunning gregarious woman. We're to married in August and have talked about having a child together. However, I live daily in fear that things will turn sour. I try not to look for reasons ...
A. 31 January 2012: It must be your past experiences haunting you and you fear that similar patterns or events will reoccur. To mark this as the beginning of a new era, I think you should book in with a counsellor and talk through your worries. Saying it all out loud ... (read in full...)
I am wondering..does my ex still have feelings for me?
Q. Me and my ex split up about a year and a half ago now. I ended the relationship for several reasons which I won't go into. When we split up, I cut all communication with him in order to move on. However, he kept trying to contact me and I just ...
A. 27 January 2012: I think you've stayed in contact with him for his benefit, not yours. In the process, you have gained an ongoing difficult situation and even worse, you are something like piggy in the middle between him and his girlfriend.
Yeah, I'd say he would... (read in full...)
She broke off with me but wants me to wait....I am not sure what to do here!
Q. Me and my girlfriend recently broke up, as she wanted more time to spend with her friends and a break from me. We had been arguing for a week or two about stupid things. She said she loves me a lot and that one day she hopes we can be together one ...
A. 27 January 2012: One way or another she has broken things off, and maybe tried to cushion the blow in the process to spare your feelings. There are always mixed emotions at the end of a relationship, some regrets and some sadness. That is why you have had mixed ... (read in full...)
My child and I want to move in with him...so will he ever do the work on his home as he promised?
Q. Not sure how to start or explain this one, been on here before and got great advice from you agony aunts and uncles, so i am hoping that you can advice me on this one. I am in LDR which been with him for nearly 3 years, we are committed loyal and ...
A. 27 January 2012: Has he got the money? Maybe not. I don't think you should move with your child to a building site. The move itself will be stressful enough for everyone. I understand that you are prepared to rough it but it's better if it's done before you go. Find ... (read in full...)
Strange phone call!
Q. What does it mean when a lady calls you and doesnt say hello back but stays on the phone...
A. 27 January 2012: She phoned you without realising. She pressed redial by mistake, or she was sitting on her mobile phone or something? Either that or she is very strange. x ... (read in full...)
How can I be happy if a part of me is forced to be repressed?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, I hope I do not offend anyone but I am a semi active crossdresser. Basically I am a married heterosexual man with no interest in men. I have a strong feminine side that I feel I need to satisfy, meaning, I need to feel pretty ...
A. 27 January 2012: Ask her if you can buy your own women's clothes and attend a group where other cross dressers meet up. That way it doesn't have to be on home turf but you get to scratch the itch and do your thing. As you say, it isn't a sexual thing so she needn't ... (read in full...)
Does his conduct indicate that he likes me?
Q. I'm the only out gay kid in my class, and one of two in the whole school. So there's this guy in two of my classes this year, but we also had summer school together. He knows I'm gay, as does everyone else, but he still like talks to me and "picks ...
A. 27 January 2012: My impression is that this guy is a show-off and somewhat egotistical. Possibly he likes to think that you fancy him, just as he would like to think girls fancy him as well. Any behaviour that leads you to feel "picked on" cannot be a good thing. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's controlling behaviour is bothering me!
Q. Hi I’m 26 years old, in December I sent a message to my friend saying I miss my ex, I did anything towards that feeling and I just said to coz I’m getting married and I was having cold feet. My bf saw this message and ever since this incident he...
A. 27 January 2012: No, you cannot get married until this has been resolved. Postpone the wedding.
I can see why your boyfriend is not happy, but if your explanation and apology have not been understood or accepted by him then the relationship cannot continue beca... (read in full...)
I was once unfairly accused of theft as a child and the trauma affects my behaviour even now!
Q. I have no idea where to post this question, but I seriously need to let this out and get some advice. Okay here it goes... Well when ever someone loses something and they're looking for it, I immediately get nervous. I start to shake, my heart ra...
A. 27 January 2012: I've had this. I once worked in a shop and the day before I was due to leave someone stole money from the till and of course it looked like me because i was only a temporary employee and a poor student. I was totally devastated, and I completely ... (read in full...)
I want a baby but I don't want a relationship just to make babies.
Q. Well, I am 19 years old and want a child so bad I can hardly wait. Yet I have been waiting for 2yrs now and am tired of waiting. I am mature, live on my own, have a job and everything else I need. I even have taken parenting classes and already have ...
A. 27 January 2012: Parenting is a two person job, for sure. I know your biological clock is ticking so loudly you can't think of anything else, but you will be much better placed to have a baby once you have a strong and loving partnership. So please be patient. ... (read in full...)
Unwanted hair....
Q. Recently I've noticed I've been getting dark hairs on my neck, chest (in between my boobs), around my nips and my bum and down the back of my legs. I shave the legs and bum hairs, but i pluck the other hairs on my body. I'm scared of what this may ...
A. 27 January 2012: If you are too thin your body grows more hair as a defence mechanism. Or if you have polycystic ovary syndrome that can lead to more hair growth (but usually involves the face too). I say get your hormone levels checked by a doctor and then only ... (read in full...)
Lack of sex a reason to break up?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for just over two years. She recently moved in with me about five months ago. Prior to moving in, she would come over to my place on weekends. We’d snuggle before bed and have sex at least once a week. Now that ...
A. 27 January 2012: The birth control pills might be lowering her sex drive. Also, that thing about her weight is an issue, after all, loads of women don't even let their husband see them fully naked or insist on having the lights out when they have sex. But you sound ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about gettin waxed down there
Q. I'd like to get my hair " down there " waxed lol, but i'm too embarassed about a stranger seeing my private parts, and how much hair there is there lol. I'm also worried about it hurting. How can i feel more comfortable about having it done ?. Also, ...
A. 27 January 2012: I've never had mine done professionally. Trim it right down with scissors then use the hair removing cream to dissolve it all if you want the totally bare look. Be sure not to splash any of the stuff on your delicate areas. I think the cream makes ... (read in full...)
Is my ex FWB (who now has a girlfriend) suggesting something? What did the kiss on my neck mean?
Q. He and i were fwb in the past but we're just friends now. I went to see him at his place because he's going away for a month and we wanted to see each other before he left. We've always been pretty flirty around each other but nothing has happened ...
A. 27 January 2012: When you went round there he would have been up for sex, just like old times. And that is what is on the cards in future if you see him again. That means he cannot be truly happy with his girlfriend, but it doesn't necessarily mean he wants you to ... (read in full...)
I don't feel as loved as I should, even though He makes it clear he really loves me!
Q. Ok Guys help me out. I don't think I am happy but until I can understand what is going in my mind I am not ready to give up. I met a good guy who started talking marriage earlly. I felt very lucky because all the guys have dated normally took the...
A. 27 January 2012: This is actually quite easy. Your gut feeling is that something is wrong and your analytical mind is trying to make sense of it and rationalise things. On paper he may have lots of good points but deep down you have serious misgivings. Most people ... (read in full...)
How does one deal with marriage issues, where the other person thinks everything is fine?
Q. How do you deal with marriage issues when the other party thinks everything is fine, in the sense they are devoted to the children and don't really care about the husband-wife dynamic....
A. 18 January 2012: You have to state your worries plainly and clearly. You have to say that you think those things are threatening the marriage and that ultimately you fear things will not work unless the problems are addressed. There will most likely be a temporary ... (read in full...)
My father is selling his body!
Q. i reently found out my father and his new girlfriends selling their bodies for sex on a website [name of website removed by mod]. its torn my family apart one of my brothers thinks the sun shines out of my fathers rear end and my sister is getting ...
A. 18 January 2012: You will have to let him get on with it. He's an adult and he makes his own choices. You could point out that his reputation/integrity will be on the line if it becomes public knowledge, you could point out how disturbed you are by it, but ... (read in full...)
I think I'm addicted to internet porn!
Q. i am a man of 26 i have always loved porn and mosted fantasys i have tried to explore most of my sexual appertite but i feel its not enough i have a fiance that is 23 years old as much as i love her she just doesnt fufill my needs is this wrong of ...
A. 18 January 2012: I think you should go cold turkey from the porn and then your relationship with your partner will improve because all your sexual energy and focus will be on her. You will have to find ways of distracting yourself when you get the urge to look at ... (read in full...)
I'm married and now my lover has got married I have lost my trust in her....what should I do?
Q. I am married and I have been in mutual relationship with a co worker for few years now. She recently got married and it was mutual decision that we shall continue working post her marriage and we both wont change our feelings for each other and ...
A. 18 January 2012: I think you should try to stop your affair and give her time to settle into being married and to give that marriage a chance. You might not be happily married but you mustn't stop her from being happy in hers if that is a possibility. Things have ... (read in full...)
I am not a serial cheat and nor is he....so why are we doing this?
Q. Firstly...please don't judge me. I know I'm playing with fire and I'm an idiot but I really need an objective opinion and some advice. I am married, it's not perfect and I think I rushed into marriage too young. My husband is a good man but we are ...
A. 12 January 2012: You are both in unsatisfactory relationships and looking for a distraction. The danger of both being married and working together adds to the excitement. Neither of you can leave it alone because you both have needs not being met, and you are both ... (read in full...)
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