Why do I not respect myself ?
Q. This is so embarrassing: I am in my forties, a grown up woman, an excellent mother, I have been told my son is a credit to me, I raised him on my own. My problem: I dated a cheating lying man for 5 years on and off, on and off as I wanted to e...
A. 17 May 2012: As you were from a dysfunctional family you expect relationships to be difficult and stressful, that is your expectation based on previous experience.
Your posting shows bags of insight into your own situation, which is really excellent. I think ... (read in full...)
Should I stick it out and hope that the relationship gets better, or break up with him?
Q. Hello, I am 22 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. This is my first boyfriend. Everything was great for the first few years - we got on extremely well and we really did love each other. We went to the same university and ...
A. 17 May 2012: I think it will be a relief to you when it's over, and you know in your heart that things are not right. Personally, I don't see any benefit to prolonging the situation. You are young and shouldn't need to be miserable or tied down to something ... (read in full...)
Turns out my FWB was married and lying to me! He doesn't know I know. What now?
Q. Hi everyone I have just founf out my fwb is married with children and now I feel so guilty I have ended this with him but still see him every day as we live in the same place I know what fwbs all about but I had fallen in love with him and now I ...
A. 16 May 2012: Next time he gets in touch with you tell him you know that he is a liar and an arse. Tell him he should be ashamed for using you for sex under false pretences. Don't take any more shit from him and don't have any more sex with him, no matter what ... (read in full...)
My mom is dating a 33 year old guy, who's closer in age to me than her! Its so embarrassing!!
Q. My mom who is 49 years old is now dating a guy who is 33 years old and I don't know how to feel about the whole situation. I mean he's closer in age to me than her, she's never done anything like this before so I don't know whats going on. She has ...
A. 16 May 2012: It has to be her business, and if she is happy, that should be the main thing. I've heard of bigger age gaps anyway. So I think you should stay out of it. ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend never compliment me?
Q. My significant other tells me that he loves me from time to time, but he almost never compliments me. It always seems like a chore for him to do. I told already that it bothers me when he doesn't tell me nice things every once in a while but about 2 ...
A. 16 May 2012: Maybe his father never said those things to his mother so he has no idea how important it can be to boost a woman's feelings with the occasional compliment. I expect he is lacking in some other areas where a bit of charm/empathy is required as well. ... (read in full...)
My husband can't say no to door to door salesmen and its driving me crazy!
Q. I am so frustrated w/my spouse. We don't agree with how to handle door-to-door salesmen. I prefer not to answer the door. It spares their feelings, and keeps them from wasting my time. My husband on the other hand cannot resist answering the do...
A. 16 May 2012: Does your husband have many friends? Because it sounds to me like he relishes these conversations as social events and enjoys the attention.
See if you can get a sign along the lines of "no salesmen please" for your door. Then the decision... (read in full...)
She's a beautiful woman but very demanding and I'm confused and disillusioned
Q. I am in a relationship with a "now"divorced woman of 52 yrs.We regularly have discussions,and Im told repeatedly...Im shouting at her/raising my voice,but she has 50%hearing loss in both ears,she wont wear aids....she feels like because she pays ...
A. 16 May 2012: The relationship is clearly making you unhappy and stressed, so I see nothing positive in continuing it. I think you are looking for confirmation of this so I advise you to end the relationship.... (read in full...)
Why do I keep going back to my B/f even though he treats me like dirt?
Q. Dear Cupid my bf of 2 years is emotionally abusing me, always ignoring me, treats me like shit, never apologize and always finding one reason to another to stop spending time with me. Its been very long since we even talked for more than 5 mts....
A. 16 May 2012: It must be because you think you can't do better. His behaviour has contributed or caused you to feel bad about yourself so you do need to separate yourself from him and work on regaining your own self confidence.
Then eventually when you are read... (read in full...)
How to come out from exta marital affair
Q. I've an extra marital affair from last 6months. I'm emotionally connected with him but I don't understand does he really loves me or he is only after physical relationship? He doesn't have a kid nd completed 6yrs. Of his marriage. I have a adopted ...
A. 16 May 2012: I think you need to address the problems in your marriage and see if you should part from your husband. That is the root cause of your situation, so start there.
... (read in full...)
How can I be more romantic?
Q. Hey this question is directed at girls mostly but if any guys have tips dont be affraid to give advice. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for over a year now and im tottally crazy about her. Not many problems in our relationship but i would like ...
A. 14 May 2012: Personally the idea of romance as defined by hearts flowers, candle lit dinners etc is a cringe worthy concept for me. I'm talking about those cliched things associated with high romance.
Romance, ie inducing a feeling of intense affectio... (read in full...)
What do I do because I still have a crush on her?
Q. There's this girl who i knew for a while and never talked to. a year later i started talking to her and we would hangout with friends together and such. i had various chances to kiss her and stuff and i could tell she liked me but i never made a mo...
A. 14 May 2012: I think it is very natural to ponder about the road not taken. And also, it is easy to see things through rose tinted glasses when imagining how things could have been, and what might have been. This is just how we all are as humans.
The thing th... (read in full...)
How to discourage use of addictive pills my boyfriend is taking to give himself a high?
Q. My boyfriend (just started dating but have known him for many many years) recently revealed that he takes pills for the high occasionally. I don't know what occasionally means and I didn't ask specifics since I was so shocked and disappointed. I to...
A. 14 May 2012: People who use substances to enhance their mental state have often got more going on in their head than is immediately obvious. It was pot, now it's pills, soon it could be excessive alcohol etc. People who need this kind of crutch in life can be ... (read in full...)
How can I know is my husband cheating on me?
Q. How can I know is my husband cheating on me? Some advices, hints? I don't have money for a private investigator, though that would be the only thing that could pacify me. I feel something is going on, but he is too clever to leave the 'proofs'. What ...
A. 14 May 2012: You must stay calm and be rational about why you think he is cheating. Are there any real clues to go on such as being late, strange absences from the home, changing in grooming or spending habits etc? Those would be some of the main indicators.
... (read in full...)
He asked me if I wanted to be more than friends, I said no and don't know why?
Q. Hey. Well, im a bit of an idiot! My guy friend (who i wanted to be more than a guy friend for aagggeeeesss) asked me out... and i said no?! im not even sure why really ... i know there is stupid stuff like he's a year and a bit younger than me ...
A. 14 May 2012: No need to worry about committment at a this stage, stay cool, and ask HIM out. If he looks a bit puzzled, just say you have reconsidered. Keep the mood light, just see how things develop.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
As a person, she IS my dream girl...but sexually, the attraction is minimal. What can I do?
Q. I don't find my girlfriend that attractive, but I am overwhelmingly happy with who she is as a person. What do I do? My girlfriend and I kind of stumbled into dating each other. We met at a party one night and ended up drunkly hooking up (havi...
A. 14 May 2012: Let her go. She needs to find someone who loves her for her looks and her mind, and she will be a great find for that person. She DESERVES that person.
You are evidently intended for someone else. ... (read in full...)
Anyone out there in a FWB relationship that works?
Q. Dear aunts, I have started a fbw relationship with my ex. We meet up every three weeks or so and spend two days together. We have gone on two hotel mini breaks and are planning another. Things have been really good. The pressure of being in a rel...
A. 10 May 2012: Honestly, the concept of FWB is something that really interests me, and I have done some research of my own over the last 5 years.
I have rarely if ever heard of these arrangements working. ... (read in full...)
He was cheating! I thought he was going to marry me!
Q. i found out that my boyfriend is cheating i was so dissapointed i toungt that he was going to marry me i didnt confront him i just dont knw what to do please help...
A. 10 May 2012: Lucky escape! You discovered he was cheating before you married him, and that should be a relief to you.
Move on to find a more compatible partner, and don't look back.
... (read in full...)
I develop feelings early then grow cold. I can't hold down a relationship, help!
Q. Hi thanks for reading! My problem is that i cannot hold down a relationship and dont know whats wrong with me. I am 36 and a single mother of 2 lovely kids. I split with their dad 4 years ago after a really unpleasant relationship where he constant...
A. 10 May 2012: My initial feeling is that you put up defences as things develop in the relationship to avoid being hurt again.
My other reaction is that you go off these guys because you actually do go off them, and they are not what you want. That seems le... (read in full...)
Met an amazing girl but she thinks I'm younger!
Q. Ok, i have been dating a lovely girl for a few weeks. We met through a friend and hit it off right away. She's 21 and i am 29. We have been on loads of dates and the other night, we were talking about birthday plans and she said to me " oh, your 24, ...
A. 10 May 2012: This isn't too much of a mess at all. Tell her as soon as possible that you are 29, and explain it all to her. The age gap is fine, and the reason she is happy with you is down in part to your maturity.
I really don't see her dumping you over 4 y... (read in full...)
What is your opinion about what the wife should pay for after marriage?
Q. Dear cupid, I wanted your opinion on after a couple is married what is the wife, should the wife pay for? My Hubby to be wants me to pay the mortgage and he would pay for everything else ie taxes,food, insurance,pet care, car care,everything....
A. 9 May 2012: My view is that your money should be pooled together and everything paid for jointly.
... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says he loves me yet is always insisting that he has to put up with "so many of my problems".
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over two years. We don't live together, but he spends the night some, and he does little to help me around the house because it is not "his place". He is 35, I am 41. I have been married before, and have two ...
A. 9 May 2012: Well you are accepting an unsatisfactory relationship. How long this goes on for depends on you. He will not change.
I worry that you seem to think he is all you can get, and that you should put up and shut up.
My view is that if you are not g... (read in full...)
Is it true, what my doctor says, that erectile dysfunction is just a part of ageing, and is not a result of any medical problem?
Q. Do you think is this true, what my doctor says, the erectile dysfunction is just a part of aging, and its not a result of any medical problem? I have very sever erectile dysfunction, and a total lack of desire. He checked everything , did go to ...
A. 9 May 2012: I think this problem is more common than anyone realises and that you should do some research online to find out the statistics etc. You are not on your own with this one.
You will have to be sure to maintain a physical relationship with your wif... (read in full...)
I'm dating 3 guys and having sex with them all!
Q. well im currently dating 3 guys and have sex with all, im not proud of it , but i was the average good girl who loved a guy with my all, and in return he cheated and caused lots of heart aches,anyhow i started of as friends with all and well, i feel ...
A. 9 May 2012: I think you are afraid of one of them hurting you, so to insure yourself, you have a couple of back ups.
In relationships you do need to risk yourself and there is always the possibility that things won't work out. That is the chance you have to ... (read in full...)
This is my second marriage, what's the right way to go about it? Is it inappropriate to make a registry,have the shower, get the big dress, have the ceremony with attendants, and the traditional reception?
Q. My fiance and I are getting married. We are so excited!!! The problem is. This will be my 2nd marriage and his first. I don't know how to approach the planning process. My fiance and his family want to experience all the joys of a first time ...
A. 9 May 2012: Whatever you do, some people will like it, and some people will not. Some will approve, and some will not. So you can only please yourselves.
As you are starting afresh, why not have a grand wedding with all the trimmings, if that is what you want... (read in full...)
Clouded judgement, intimacy too soon in the relationship, what should I do?
Q. Well, I finally found out after a half a year of contact/dating/whatever that this guy whom I met online is a complete douchebag. Looking back on it, things went a bit fast with intimacy-, even though at the time it was something that I wanted. But ...
A. 8 May 2012: Don't have anything else to do with him. He's not relationship material and you seem to want (and quite rightly so) a more respectful and loving relationship.
You do not have to take second best, or talk yourself out of someone's obvious flaws.
... (read in full...)
Is the way I'm handling this good?
Q. Ok, well i have been seeing my girlfriend for a few weeks and she is a very pretty girl ( not quite sure how i managed that ) anyway, most weekends we go out with friends to a bar or club Friday night and Saturday we do our thing, just 2 of us, o...
A. 8 May 2012: Yes.... (read in full...)
Reconnecting with a lost half brother isn't going as I expected
Q. I located my half brother we share a mother. He is 4 yrs older than me we have been exchanging emails now that he is back from afghan and deployment. We have never met he hasnt seen our mom in 20 years. I have been filling in the gaps for him and ...
A. 8 May 2012: He is in a different place mentally with it, maybe the whole issue isn't as important for him as it is for you. Perhaps it would be more helpful if you could meet in person and talk face to face. Only then will you really get a proper idea of how ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my parents I can't stand their parenting style?
Q. I'm 25 yet my parents have always been overly strict, controlling and verbally abusive. I can't stand how they never want me to leave home even though I'm a grown adult. I've always done the right thing and been a A grade student. Yet I'm always ...
A. 8 May 2012: Just because you are related doesn't mean the bonds are that strong, or that you all have to think the same. You are old enough to make a break for freedom. Go for it.... (read in full...)
It hurts that the man who would drop anything for me only to give me a lift, will no longer drop anything for me.
Q. 2 years ago i met a wonderful man in town but was still in love with my ex who had dumped me a month before. We started seeing each other even though i wasn't ready but he said he'd give me all the time i need. he would do anything for me - pick me ...
A. 8 May 2012: I think people who are capable of behaving like 2 people at different ends of the personality spectrum are bad news and to be avoided. It is as if he snared you with his charm and then showed his true colours.
If he's not what you want, leave. I... (read in full...)
Should I give up on chasing her?
Q. I keep attracting bad girls. I'm quite okay looking and tall. I guess I'm super nice and well mannered, but I'm quite shy and nervous when I meet girls. I basically do what I'm told and then get taken advantage of. . As soon as they know I am very ...
A. 8 May 2012: There are good women, don't give up!
This girl sounds like she has played with your feelings, been ungrateful and rude to you.
Forget about her. Be polite if you see her but do not continue with your correspondance.
Carry on being yourse... (read in full...)
I'm worried that my boyfriend compares me to his ex-girlfriend
Q. I was talking with my boyfriend the topic of his ex-girlfriend came up and I've been a bit uncomfortable since. Not because we were talking about it but because his ex was the total polar opposite to me. From his description she is very social, ...
A. 8 May 2012: He's with you now, so that is what matters. If she was that great, and if he preferred her, he'd still be with her. But he's not, he's with you. ... (read in full...)
My friend wants to leave his controlling wife but now she is pregnant
Q. My best friend marriage is a disaster, he always loved another women but still married his current wife. She know about his feelings and was sure that he will get over it. But last year it was very hard so he was going to break up with her and get ...
A. 8 May 2012: I absolutely understand your anxiety for your friend, but indeed this is his business and his alone.
You can support and listen but that is all.
Tell him about this site, and if he posts his question he will get a lot of answers from people f... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't seem to want to spend time alone with me
Q. I can't tell if my boyfriend wants to hang out with me or not. Pretty much weve been together for almost a year, and until now we were both at diffrent colleges two hour driving distance away; so this is the first time we are together in the same ...
A. 8 May 2012: I could say you just have different communication styles and ideas about what constitutes a relationship but that wouldn't be tackling the issue.
The issue is: you are keener on him than he is on you, and you feel neglected. So you either go on fe... (read in full...)
I know I'm in the wrong and I can't stop!
Q. Hi there, I think I really need help, maybe professional.. I have an irresistible urge to snoop in my boyfriend's e mail and facebook. its bigger than me and I cannot stop it, its like satisfying an urge. I never found anything suspicious on his ...
A. 8 May 2012: Maybe this stems from insecurity due to issues in your past relationships. Maybe you are carrying some anger and frustration about something else and looking for somewhere to pin it? Or maybe your woman's intuition is screaming at you because there ... (read in full...)
Slept with someone too soon, can't trust him. What to do?
Q. I really messed up. After being single a year I've been seeing someone I met online. From the start he said he wanted a relationship. Actions speak louder than words though. He said we would go out and do fun things. Yet he just seems to want me to ...
A. 8 May 2012: I agree with the other poster about self forgiveness. Don't beat yourself up about this fling with a player. He should be ashamed of himself but you don't have to.
x ... (read in full...)
Have you ever wished your girl would ask you certain questions?
Q. Hi guys, I am currently dating a middle-aged man (he is 55 and I'm 34) and I would like to know how to make our conversations interesting, especially to him. For men who are in the same age bracket as him, what topics would you be interested to ...
A. 8 May 2012: If you have great chemistry then the conversation will just flow easily. If it has to be worked on, i'd question whether you really feel comfortable together?... (read in full...)
After we had sex is when he told me he wasn't looking for anything serious.
Q. I started to date this guy, he's 26 and I'm 18. I was really excited because my friends is going out with his brother and it also happened that we had a lot in common. So tonight we were on a date and things got kind of heated and we ended up ...
A. 8 May 2012: He took advantage of your youth and inexperience and then tried to smooth things over by being "straight" with you.
My view is that he should have been straight with you beforehand.
... (read in full...)
Is getting tattoos on my butt cheeks a good idea?
Q. I'm thinking of getting tattoos on my butt cheeks. I wanted to know if guys typically like that. I was doing it for myself and then I over heard a male friend react negatively towards it. I was going to get a centaur with a bow and arrow on one ...
A. 8 May 2012: I've never met a single woman who doesn't regret having a tattoo. That is my personal experience. My feeling is that they won't be in a place you can see regularly yourself, so why bother to put yourself through the pain of it and the possible ... (read in full...)
Is it time to leave my fiancee?
Q. Hi, I need help, Do i leave my fiancee? Before you read this, yes its going to be abit of a rant, but this has been eating me up for about a year but even more so the last week or two. I dont feel happy being with her, but i love my 2 daught...
A. 8 May 2012: She's evidently banking on you not leaving. She seems to think that whatever she does, however she behaves, you will not up sticks and go. And it seems that you are a good man and a good father, so I can see why she is confident of you staying. ... (read in full...)
Married to a distant, abusive man and I'm desperate to be touched and loved and I'm wondering about how it would be with this man!
Q. Confused! I am 33 years old, been with my husband for 12 years- married for 5 years-no children. Our marriage is not good-we have not had sex for almost a year and before that is was twice a years-continually got less and less throughout the y...
A. 4 May 2012: You really do need to leave your husband, that is crystal clear to me. You are still young with many years of life ahead and you must make sure you are on the path to happiness. That doesn't mean rushing into anything new straight away.
You a... (read in full...)
How do I address this question with my FWB without making him jealous?
Q. Hi I am in a bit of a difficult situation and would really appreciate any advice you people can offer I am in a fwb I thought we were together properly for a few months but he told me he didn't want a girlfriend so I evetually got my head around ...
A. 4 May 2012: FWB is an open ended arrangement where people see different people if they like, and there are no expectations on either party that a full on relationship will be on the cards.
Your fwb has a classic case of wanting to have his cake and eat it. ... (read in full...)
| *ead-the-signs's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ead-the-signs has
added them and they have added *ead-the-signs!
|
