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I don't love my wife any more and now I'm interested in someone else...

Q.   I am a married man of the age of 21, been married for about 2 years and have never cheated on my wife, or done anything ridculous. I haven't loved my wife for so long and just am fed up with her but I feel like I'm falling for someone else I have ...

A.   25 December 2005: I agree. I don't understand how a marriage can be sort of arranged when you are 19. IF this is something to do with your family religion or cultural heritage, wake up! Its almost 2006. Do yourself and favor and your wife, by getting a divorce. And ... (read in full...)

I was dumped over the phone because my independance reminded him too much of his mum!

Q.   Dear All, I need some feedback and help moving in the right direction. I was dating a wonderful guy for 8 months or so I thought. In that time I feel in love with him. We had our problems like most couples but I never thought that these issue...

A.   25 December 2005: Count yourself as very fortunate to find this out before you married this jerk. Find someone else. No one feels good about being dumped, but you should be breathing a sigh of relief. You obviously don't have much in common with this guy, and his ... (read in full...)

No self-confidence and I'm a virgin at 25. Where do I start?

Q.   Hi, Got a good question. I am 25 and I am a virgin. A pure virgin. Never been kissed, Never had a girlfriend. I have a low self confidence since been bullied at school and I've just watch "The 40 Year Old Virgin". It was very uncomfor...

A.   25 December 2005: YOu need serious counselling. Get it. The counselor will help you learn how to socialize, and meet women, and hopefully end your state of low self esteem, poor self image, and a total lack of courage. No one gets anything without trying. And, part ... (read in full...)

I can't tell if the guy I'm interested in is interested back!

Q.   Dear Cupid, I started a new job 4 months ago, and I met the man who I was instantly interested in. I asked somebody who knew him if he was single, and she was hesitating but she said that he was not, that it looks like things have worked out for ...

A.   25 December 2005: With a girlfriend that far away, he has to be lonely for just conversation. He is probably just seeking that in you. I say that, after some thought, because it would have been much easier for him to end the relationship with the gf, based on the ... (read in full...)

I can't tell if the guy I'm interested in is interested back!

Q.   Dear Cupid, I started a new job 4 months ago, and I met the man who I was instantly interested in. I asked somebody who knew him if he was single, and she was hesitating but she said that he was not, that it looks like things have worked out for ...

A.   25 December 2005: With a girlfriend that far away, he has to be lonely for just conversation. He is probably just seeking that in you. I say that, after some thought, because it would have been much easier for him to end the relationship with the gf, based on the ... (read in full...)

There's an age gap, but should that matter? We get on together so well!

Q.   Hi..people are in the same situation as me-it is good to see. I have stumbled upon a great younger woman (a bit younger-15 years) in the restaurant/bar I go to. The best vibe/silliness goes on between us every time I go in the place and it has led ...

A.   25 December 2005: 15 years doesn't make much difference when you are older, but at 20-21, it should. She is too young both in maturity, and in experiences for the two of you to last very long. If she is 25 and older when you two begin being serious, I think you stand ... (read in full...)

Found the "shirtless" photos of my "shy" online guy on another website under a different name!

Q.   Ok this isn't a serious problem but I would just like some thoughts. About two months ago I met this guy on the internet. We became really close. We would send pics of ourselves to eachother etc..and just talk about things we did that day. Well one ...

A.   18 December 2005: If you haven't met this guy in person, he may not be the guy in the picture at all, and his name may not be either of the names you have found so far. That is both the blessing and curse of the internet. Confront him about the lies, and then decide ... (read in full...)

I can't get any time without my wife since we married. Am I being unreasonable?

Q.   I have a question I need to ask anyone who has endured a longstanding relationship or is in one now. I have been with my girl for over 2 and a half years now. We got married in October. We are in a good loving relationship and fitting into the...

A.   18 December 2005: Does she have a family that she spends time with? Are you always along when she sees them? Try to get her to see the situation as if your roles were reversed. You are married, and you should not be surprised that your new bride wants to spend all ... (read in full...)

Tried to offer support to my brother... but his negativity rubbed off on me!

Q.   Hi.. I am in need of some serious help. My personality has changed since I tried to get close to my brother when he was hurt with his break up. I tried to offer him a listening ear and support and went so much close as to reveal some of my deepest ...

A.   15 December 2005: Get counseling from proper mental health practicioners. You are descibing a serious problem, and it needs to be addressed soon, and before the right people. No one should go through that kind of personality change over arguments with a sibling. ... (read in full...)

An engaged co-worker has confessed her feelings for me... Confused at what to do.

Q.   This past weekend a friend/co-worker told me she liked me as more than just a friend over the phone.well she couldn't go into in to much details,cause her financee just got in the car. yes she is engaged.she has only been with this guy for 8 or 9 ...

A.   15 December 2005: Leave her alone until she ends her relationship with the guy she is engaged to marry. Only trouble will come to both of you. When she has ended that, she will talk to you. She just may not feel it is appropriate to have feelings for you when she is ... (read in full...)

He's mad at me so why is he trying to get my attention? What should I do?

Q.   Last year everyone knew we were in love and he would cry over me when i would break up with him or mad at him. He cried over me before we went out because he wanted to be with me so badly. His parents even heard him cry even his boys saw him cry but ...

A.   15 December 2005: He sounds very immature, and is acking like a spoiled brat. He wants to be the center of everyone's attention. Ignore him, and find someone more our own level of maturity to date. This guy has way too many problems for you to be involved with him. ... (read in full...)

How can I get him to communicate when we're not with each other?

Q.   Hey... I have a problem. My boyfriend of 4 months, who I love dearly, is awkward towards me when we talk on the internet. When we're AROUND each other, we're both so happy, and we get along fine - he tells me everything! But when we talk online, ...

A.   10 December 2005: He is the one causing the awkwardness, honey, not you. And, He does not LOVE you as much as you think. Otherwise, he would not be flirting with another girl at a party. Seems to me you need to get your sights grounded in reality. He is not the guy ... (read in full...)

I made my boyfriend up!

Q.   When all my friends started to get boyfriends, I lied and told them that I had a boyfriend who lived in Scotland. I live in Wales so I'm sure they'll never find out if I don't tell them I made him up. My grandparents live in Scotland, so it ...

A.   10 December 2005: I can't see any reason why you should have to tell anybody about having lied about a relationship. But, you should learn the lesson that you don't lie to friends if you expect to keep them very long. Lying is a very bad habit to get into, in ... (read in full...)

I'm upset at my bf..for going to a party without me-after we made out own special plans.

Q.   My boyfriend works so i dont see him very often. In his free time I dont hear much from him and when i talk to him about it he says that he doesnt show emotions that easily unless he's in person with me. thats true though but I'd like him to pay ...

A.   10 December 2005: No, you are not overreacting. You have the right to be hurt. But, this guy just does not have the same feelings for you that you seem to have for him. Drop him. Find someone who will both respect you, and appreciate you. He is out there. Believe it. ... (read in full...)

I have an idealistic personality and I don't think he likes it too much..he's getting mean and bitter about it.

Q.   I'm 19 and have been dating my first boyfriend for 2.5 months. He is a very realistic/down-to-earth and passive kind of guy, while I am just the opposite- very idealistic/dreamy and adventurous/active. It has been fun hanging out with him and our ...

A.   10 December 2005: Yes he is tiring of you. Break it off on the phone, and the sooner the better. He is at a different stage of his life than you are. You may become more grounded as you gain more experience. I hope you never lose your ability to dream, or to wish for ... (read in full...)

I'm a virgin and need to know...if my banana shaped erection still satisfy the ladies?

Q.   iam 20.When my penis erects it doesn't get straight, it does erect but bends towards downwards.like a banana. so i wanna know will this type of penis gives sexual satisfaction to a woman n iam still virgin....

A.   10 December 2005: Not as long as you spend time looking at it and obsessing over its shape! Ask your doctor about its shape, if it is that much of a concern. Urologists are the guys who deal with these sort of complaints and concerns. It doesn't sound like much of a ... (read in full...)

I'm messing around with this guy at work but...he already has a gf!

Q.   i recently started messing around with a great guy at work. but there are a few things wrong. he has a girlfriend,but in a few months after shes done with school shes moving out of state. he feels he loves her even though shes awful to him. he likes ...

A.   10 December 2005: He doesn' tknow what he wants. Keep it casual, and don't make this the main thing in your life. He may run off chasing after this girl when she leaves town. He may not be ready to take on a gf who is both older and more experienced than he is, and ... (read in full...)

I made a mistake and not sure if my male friend will ever forgive me.

Q.   I have realy upset a male friend of mine. I said something which got him into trouble. I didn't mean to and I would never intentionally get him into to trouble. I was honest with him and told him what I had done, but he is really upset with me. ...

A.   10 December 2005: You have done everything you can do. Leave it be. After he has had some time to deal with the problems you caused, he may come around to respect you for being honest, and for coming to him as soon as possible and apologizing. If not, he is a jerk, ... (read in full...)

My guy is coming from overseas to see me, but he's worried things are too serious!

Q.   Hi, I am 25. I met this boy in Belgium on September 1st and we had a great time. The day after we met again and went on another date and we kissed. Then I had to come back to the US. On September 23rd we spent a 3 day weekend together in NY and ...

A.   24 November 2005: Ellen. You don't have him to lose, yet. You barely know him, and he is at least honest enough to tell you he doesn't feel he knows you, either. Slow down on the expectations, and enjoy the time you have with him in Atlanta. Just do normal stuff, in ... (read in full...)

My husband leaves me alone while he's off hunting... is it any wonder I think about my ex?

Q.   Married, Unhappy and Wanting to be with someone else. I have been married for 2 years but we've been together for 5. My husband like to hunt (that makes me a hunter's widow to those who know my pain)and that keeps him away from home. He eats, br...

A.   24 November 2005: Don't you think you should have asked and answered this question before you got married, or before you had a son? Tired of being a hunter's widow? Find a babysitter for your son, and go hunting with your husband. Really. Every woman is a hunter when ... (read in full...)

What is it that my friend wants? He says he doesn't want to move to the next level, but he's mad 'cause we don't have sex!

Q.   I'm very confused. I've been friends with this guy for about four months now. Last month I asked are we going to remain friends or are we going take our friendship to the next level. He told me he doesn't know what he wants to do. I was fine with ...

A.   24 November 2005: So, ask him! He may not have made up his mind, because he has not asked himself those questions. Ask him. Use that as a basis for a longer discussion on what he is looking for in your relationship, what he wants out of it, what he is willing to give ... (read in full...)

I don't know why I'm no good on the phone when I talk to my girl!

Q.   Hi, I'm 16 and I'm in a long distance relationship. I met my girlfriend on holiday and a week after we was going out. Since then we have been with each other 3 times and we are getting along great, but the problem I'm having is I can't speak to her ...

A.   24 November 2005: The problem is that you are 16, and are probably too young to be having a girlfriend. You are a little short in the self confidence department. Because of distance, you can't exactly talk to her about what the two of you want to do the next day, or ... (read in full...)

He was the light of my life, but then he switched off!

Q.   Hey, I'm an 18 yr old gay and in February of this year I thought that I had found the love of my life. We really clicked and were stuck to each other like glue. We finally got together but a week later I had to go on holiday. When I got back he ...

A.   24 November 2005: Of course you are hurt. Anyone would be. It happens to all of us. You will survive. Find another lover. Your friend tried to let you down gently when he dumped you with that " I'm bisexual, and my friends don't know about my sexuality." line. People ... (read in full...)

I feel as if the world isn't real...

Q.   I am 24 yrs of age and feel that world revolves around me. I keep thinking of what other people would say or do in reaction to what I do. I tend to easily believe someone, as my shutter of brain is down when I talk with people. I can't separate ...

A.   24 November 2005: I suggest you find some help with a mental health professional. I don't know where you go to learn common sense about other people. Most of us try to get as wide a range of experiences under our belts when we are young, so that we have a pretty good ... (read in full...)

I'm with one person, but I think I might be falling for someone new!

Q.   I'm in a bit of trouble you see. I'm with one but secretly falling for another. I feel like a prisoner in my own home. I have been very very sad and do not know what to do. Should I stay or should I go ?...

A.   24 November 2005: I normally get very angry at women like you, because I think you deserve to live alone, with neither person. But, its Thanksgiving Day here in the States so I will suggest a way for you to resolve your dilemna. You have given us no real ... (read in full...)

I want to write to the girl I'm interested in... but what do I say?

Q.   There is this girl I have had a crush on for sometime now, but she works in a high paced work place. We say our hellos and stuff in the mornings but I can't seem to find the time to ask her out without everybody in the place knowing what I'm ...

A.   24 November 2005: The next time you see her, and she says hello, ask her to stop for a moment, and tell her you would really like to get to know her better, and would she be interested in having coffee with you, ( Or lunch?) Tell her that saying good morning is ... (read in full...)

Two guys in my life. Neither is perfect, but sex with the other guy is irresistable!

Q.   I’ve been Best friends with my ex roommate for about 5 yrs and approx 3 yrs ago while we were living together, we ended up having sex a couple times. We decided that we didn’t want to risk our friendship so we stopped and remained friends. It’s b...

A.   24 November 2005: Why don't you get to work with educating your bf about how to be a better lover. There are books, videos, and other instructional aids to help him control his climax. He is going to have to deal with the job stress, as its ruining the rest of his ... (read in full...)

How do I arouse my girlfiend?

Q.   HOW to Arouse My girlfriend in a nice way?...

A.   24 November 2005: First, is she even interested in being aroused? If so, a hug works, and a gentle kiss may work, too. I like to ' say hello' to my lover by just brushing my lips over hers, rather than a hard kiss, lots of tongue etc. Or kiss her gently behind the ... (read in full...)

Is my ex just playing me, or could his advances be for real?

Q.   Dear Cupid, My ex-boyfriend recently began making contact with me after about 18 months since we split. We work together and it had been fairly difficult at times to avoid him. I was utterly heartbroken at the split, he had cheated on me with m...

A.   13 November 2005: The answer is " NO". He is a louse, and he is not going to change. Why would you jeopardize your current relationship by taking up with a jerk like this? What is wrong with you? and, Please, enough of this, " I just can't say no to him!" stuff. You ... (read in full...)

I've been cheating on my boyfriend with his younger brother and now I'd rather have him than my boyfriend...

Q.   I'm 18 and have been dating this 25 year old for 3 years. He has a 15 year old younger brother. And we kissed. Then we had sex. While the older brother was away we had sex for a week. Now I want to go out with the younger one but not hurt the oldder ...

A.   13 November 2005: Whoa! At the very least, you are contributing to the sexual delinquency of a minor, and can be prosecuted criminally. Other than sex, what in the world would you have in common with a boy three years younger than you? Back off. You are hurting both ... (read in full...)

He never calls to tell me what he's doing!

Q.   I have been with my bf for over a year and we have been living together for a year. I gat really frustrated with him. He will go out with his friends for lunch, supper to the bars. But when I ask him to do something he will never make plans or he ...

A.   13 November 2005: Why aren't you going out with him and his friend? You sound more like a housekeeper, cook, and sex buddy than a girlfriend. Move out and start a new life with someone who will be proud to have you with him when he goes out. ... (read in full...)

Is the bartender really just my husband's "friend", or do they have something going on?

Q.   My husband of 6 months suddenly became really good friends with a female bartender in our neighborhood bar near our summer cottage. When I went back home to work while he stayed there, they became better friends. He says that they are just friends ...

A.   13 November 2005: I think you are making much about nothing. Men have friends, including women friends. I don't like his secrecy about calls to her, or any lies, but that may just be a response to your accusatory looks, and apparent jealousy and insecurity about ... (read in full...)

Since I had my accident, my girlfriend's become distant and cool...

Q.   I have been with my girlfriend for 6 months and love her so much. She says she loves me too. Everything was going OK until about 6 weeks ago. I hurt my knee playing football and since then I have been off work/unable to do a lot and things have ...

A.   13 November 2005: So what if she leaves you? You aren't going to die. She sounds like she just doesn't like the you that needs help, and can't be the fun guy you used to be. You two are in school, with lots of pressures, and stress that can affect how you think about ... (read in full...)

The marriage is over, but my husband won't leave!

Q.   My husband won't leave. We have been together for ten years, only married for one. But since the wedding we have both changed. I want out of the marriage but he won't leave! We have two children: one is his and I have one from a previous relation...

A.   13 November 2005: Talk to a lawyer about your rights. You sound like you think he has to be abusive before you can get divorced. Wrong! I don't know why you can't work, but you must have family and friends, who may help you until you get things arranged. Stop acting ... (read in full...)

I didn't do anything wrong. My girlfriend says she just doesn't feel the same...

Q.   My girlfriend doesn't want me anymore. I didn't do anything bad. She just doesn't feel the same anymore. I'm having a hard time letting here go. In fact, I don't want to let go of her. It feels so hard for me. I really want to be with her. I just l...

A.   13 November 2005: What part of the word, " NO" don't you understand? She doesn't want to be around you anymore. I suspect it may be related to your obsessive possessiveness towards her. You are probably acting towards her like you own her, and she resents it. Deal ... (read in full...)

The distance between us is worse when my boyfriend gets depressed. How do I help?

Q.   I'm currently in love with a Marine who has many challenges in his life. He is still a reservist so we don't see each other much. He does devote every Sunday to see me. However, he is going through a lot of emotional challenges with his family and ...

A.   12 November 2005: Suggest he see a counselor, on base, or off. He needs professional help, and you can't do that for him. Sorry, but you need to stand on the sidelines, or move on. It is up to him to fix his problems. Don't make them yours, no matter how much you ... (read in full...)

Thought I was over him... until he came back home!

Q.   I was in a relationship with this guy for one year and then he had to go abroad to work. We decided to really end it to save our feelings. We are in contact every week and most recently I thought I was getting over him until he came home and all my ...

A.   12 November 2005: Talk to him about what he wants. No one wans to be hurt. It does take a bit of courage to risk your emotions, and maybe that is just not there in him. If so, he will always be timid and afraid. Is that someone you really want to spend a life with? ... (read in full...)

Help! I keep hurting my relationship by seesawing over going back to my ex...

Q.   Hi, I have a problem that I could really do with some advice on !! I am seperated from my wife and son, and struggling to move on. I have met someone else but every time I try to commit I start doubting everything I have done, so keep hurting ...

A.   12 November 2005: Yes you can regenerate the feelings you once had for your wife. Get to a couselor, and involve her. You didn't lose it without her help, and she didn't lose it without yours. Love takes work to keep it going. There is no free ride with any ... (read in full...)

He went from serious to casual when I started falling for him!

Q.   I have been dating someone a couple of times a month for the past three months now. He said he wanted a girlfriend and seemed to be serious about it. Now he is saying he is too busy with his work and other responsibilities and would rather just ...

A.   27 October 2005: Find someone else. Really. He doesn't know what he wants, and obviously is having second thoughts about you. You have a right to feel hurt. You both tried, but it is not working out for him. End it. Then maybe meet with him and ask him how you ... (read in full...)

Could my boyfriend be using me as a financial crutch, or am I supporting him in a time of stress?

Q.   Hi, Really hoping to get some advice from you guys, as I'm feeling pretty confused. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and half now. When we first met, we fell in love straight away with so much in common. The relationship was a different ...

A.   27 October 2005: Work on helping him get a job. that means everything to him, and is the way men are taught to measure their manhood. His ability to show affection to you, and to appreciate you is compromised by his frustration and shame at not being the bread ... (read in full...)

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