| A
female
,
*loneATL
writes: Hi, I am 25. I met this boy in Belgium on September 1st and we had a great time. The day after we met again and went on another date and we kissed. Then I had to come back to the US. On September 23rd we spent a 3 day weekend together in NY and we had a blast. We really connected and shared a bed together. In between times and weeks I sent him two packages with really stupid stuff but showing him that I care about him and I think about him. We talk on MSN chat now and then throughout the week and we see each other on the webcam and he is really sweet and all and he blows kisses in the cam when we leave and stuff like that. Now he is coming to Atlanta to see and yes I know get to know me. I received an email from him the other day saying that he feels pushed and that I don't give him any time to get to know me. He thinks that I am thinking he will propose to me and all this serious stuff. We talked for a little bit on MSN chat and I know he is still hurt from a previous relationship that went too fast and he got hurt. So I think he is scared again to get hurt. I don't know what to do. How do I let him know that I am here for him? I already told him that but I want him to know that I am willing to give him as much time and space that he needs. I am so messed up over this and I don't know what to do. I like this guy a lot and don't want to lose him. If some one can help me or give some advice, I will really appreciate it! Thanks in advance! Ellen
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reader, pops +, writes (24 November 2005):
Ellen. You don't have him to lose, yet. You barely know him, and he is at least honest enough to tell you he doesn't feel he knows you, either. Slow down on the expectations, and enjoy the time you have with him in Atlanta. Just do normal stuff, in addition to seeing the sites. Most Europeans are fascinated by the idea of being in America. Take him to all kinds of places. Ask other men you know to help you have him experience things that only " guys " do here in the states, so that he gets a flavor of what its like to live here. Get him out of the city, and take him to see some of the country. Take him to the Appalachian Trail, and some of the scenic vistas along it. Take in Stone mountain, of course. Head down to the coast some day, and let him taste American style seafood cooking. If he doesn't shoot guns back home, find someone to take you both to a shooting club, so he gets the taste of an American freedom he does not have in Belgium. Getting to know someone in person is much different than doing it over phone lines. Take it easy on yourself, You may also reappraise your feelings for this guy after his visit.
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