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neil_cant_breathe_ocd
writes: My girlfriend doesn't want me anymore. I didn't do anything bad. She just doesn't feel the same anymore. I'm having a hard time letting here go. In fact, I don't want to let go of her. It feels so hard for me. I really want to be with her. I just love her so much. I don't want to let go. What can I do to fix this relationship? Reply to this Question |
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): Guys, listen up. There are two very difficult things for "emotionally well" people to understand: 1.) it is possible to be correct about something and no one validate or even realize it. and 2.) emotionally ill people (even ones with just disfunctional character flaws) do NOT do or think the way we do!
to apply these points to each of your comments:
1.) if it seems wrong, it probably is. If you want to see whether your reactions over time caused or perpetuated her crap, then make a commitment to yourself to, for one month, not say or do anything you wouldn't do or say on a first date! No yelling, no manipulation,no reacting to "strange behavior" nothing you wouldn't do on a first date. Be on your best behaviour, be confident, and put yourself in the mental place that gives you the option of "not asking this girl out again". At the end of the month, you will have done nothing to exaerbate the problems, and will have observed what kind of person she truly is. (remember she doesn't know she's on a first date each and everyday, so she will be her normal self). Make your decision after the month whether you want this shit in your life or not, and remember that YOU are in CHARGE of your love life! NOT HER! Boot her out or keep her like you would a first date who acted like her! (after the 1 month of course)
2.)It is very likely that these girls lose respect for you when you show weakness, and gain when you show strength. To some extent, all girls work this way, but EMOTIONALLY IMMATURE GIRLS KILL THE RELATIONSHIP OVER IT. Emotionally mature girls might not be attracted to you for your weakness, and if they are unattracted long enough, you have problems. But remember that emotionally mature girls help a man feel like a man from time to time (and that feeling grows inside of you), and immature ones "pile on" the crap. Do the "month of first dates" trick on her and see whether she contributes anything to the relationship (sex, intimacy, nurture, friendship)enough so that it makes a good relationship or not.
You are in charge of your love life! if you let emotionally ill people control it, then you will have to become emotionally ill just to hold things together! Crazy people do crazy things, so clear your mind with a fair playing feild (month of first dates), and observe what's really going on here. Make a decision and go forward!
Yes you love her, yes she's great sometimes. a great relationship has 5 good times for every one bad time though. this applies to any relationship, so count em after your month experiment.
Lastly, all women want strength and stability from a man, so if she steals that from you despite your best confident efforts, plan on worrying about her leaving everyday of your life, because she probably will.
Moral: act like a man, and you get treated like a man, if not GET OUT!
Good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2008): My girlfiend has commitment and communication problems... it doesn't help that we live so far away. It is a serious rollercoaster ride with many ups and downs. The ups are the most wonderful highs and she will be communicative and thoughtful. The downs are hell, she can go for weeks without speaking to me.I get so confused. Its as though she doesn't even think about me sometimes. She is so good at moving on I think she has just created a new life without me. She doesn't say she doesn't want to be with me. She hates when I ask. She always says she thinks its what she wants. But she doesn't say she loves me anymore. She doesn't say she misses me.I know I let her walk all over me. I will drop anything to help her and be there for her. But she cannot do the same for me. She cant even commit to a phone call. I know feelings change and things get complicated. But when we are together it feels so right and wonderful. I just wish I knew... Shes so passive. She is a riddle that I cannot solve. I am seeing her in a month, dropping my life and my money on a plane ticket and I don't even know if she still loves me...
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2008): the more you chase, the further she'll run from you. don't keep asking her why why why. she might need time, to realize you are everything she needs. of course there are som girls (like mine) that will do whatever it takes to bend you backwards. don't give in, don't cry, and DON'T CUT. best of luck mate
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008): Im in the same situation, but i sat down and thought about how to when her back and whether you believe it or not you might have changed a little, just a very slight change can thro a girl off. All you need to do is remember who she did fall in love with in essence be the kind loving person you where. But never seem desprate do not send her flowers or anything just be yourself and do not seem deaprate. Being desprate will definately push her further away but you dont want to seem like you dont care you have to draw a line and she really loves you she will see that you are the guy for her. Hope this helps.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): Hey mate, dont know if you still need any advice.I am in more or less your exact situation with my girlfriend of nearly 2 years, things were going great, now after a few months of things gradually changing (her interest towards me, including sexually) she saids shes not sure if she loves me anymore, and is confused. I recommend breaking it off, and giving her some time, which is exactly what im going to do. Yeah, it will be hard, but there is no point in hanging onto something that just isnt there anymore. Shes wasting you away. If she comes back, awesome, she loves you, she realises what a great catch you really are. On the other hand, if she doesnt, lets face facts.. there really isnt anything you can do. but time will heal all. In the mean time, i suggest you do your best to forget about her, keep yourself accessible for her to contact you, but leave it at that. When you are healed emotionally, then is the right time to be-friend her. There is no rush, get out there with your mates, enjoy life, see what rolls your way and take the time to find yourself again. You've been putting way to much energy into this relationship, that you need to relax and do something for yourself. Hope all goes well mate, good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2006): In the beginning it was all fun and lots of hot sex. For almost six months we tried our best to keep our relationship a secret. Not because what we were doing was wrong but we just wanted to keep it to ourselves. At least that is how I saw it. Three years later...
It hasn't always been heaven. We have had lots of fights. Some so major that I moved out. But the longest I was away from her was a month. It seemed that every fight was the same thing. It was impossible arguing with her since every time I made a valid point, she would walk away and say she didn't want to talk anymore.
For the past three months, our sex life has been slow. And it seemed to only bother me. Out of ten times, she only started it once. I also noticed these past three months she has been getting distant. She never brought it up. I did and it turned ugly. I take a lot of the blame since I felt angry that she never once mentioned anything and that if I didn't bring it up, we'd be okay. Since we live together, breaking up just a tad bit harder. Since I would be the one moving I had to be 100% sure that this is what she wanted. She said she didn't know what she wanted. She felt the distant between us. She still feels the pain from the last time I moved out, even though she pushed me away that time. She still cares for me as a friend. She still loves me but is not in love with me. She says she needs constant change. Then she went on with my flaws. How I always seem to make everything negative.
Some more details. We both live in a city where neither of us grew up. So we have a very small circle of friends. Can count them on one hand. I am always up to meet new people but I am not desperate. I mean some people I find annoying and I don't care much for them. My girlfriend just wants a bigger friend circle. She also gets invited to work related parties. She is allowed to bring one guest. It has always been me. She wants to bring someone else. Another guy. This guy has a steady girlfriend and my girlfriend isn't the type to cheat.( I know, they all say that) but she wants to invite this guy because to give him a chance to network so he can get a job. Then she wants to go on trips, day trips, road trips or vacations, but doesn't want me to go along. I tell her her is that will make her happy, fine, but just try to understand how it looks on my end. I tell her that she is purposely excluding me from her life and if I were to do what she does, she would kick me to the curb. Of course she spins that around to me being negative.
Needless to say, she said it will never work out for us to be together. I don't agree because I am still madly in love with you, but I respect her wishes. I pack my things up and leave. I left while she was at work not to sneak out, but because she said it was hard to actually watch me go.
I am about 400 miles away by the time she gets home and realizes I have actually left. She calls. I pull to the side and we talk. She is crying on the phone, saying how confused she is. She says she can't be without me. I ask if she wants me back. She says it's up to me. What I realized is when she realized she had me in the palm of her hands, her attitude changed from her being desperate to her being bossy.
What we worked out was no sex. We would be "friends" but we would live together, hang out together, and neither of us could date anyone else. Basically what she wanted was being boyfriend and girlfriend without the kissing, touching or having sex. I asked if she thought sex with me was that bad that she would ban it. She said it had nothing to do with me. Just she wasn't feeling it.
Why it's not working out. For one, I am a guy. I like sex. I don't need to go fool around with other girls but I love sex with my girlfriend. Not only because I love her, but she is a hottie. Not to mention, when she is into it, she is a wild stallion in the sack. I can go without sex. But she makes it hard. She still walks around our pad naked. Talks about getting her area waxed. She even cuddles with me. last time we were close, she stared deep into me eyes, smiled and gave me a kiss. She was wearing nothing but a robe. I wanted so bad to take her. You probably think I am just interested in sex. I am not, but it has been over a month since I had it last and she was looking so beautiful and she was coming on to me. I slipped my hand under her robe and feel her stomach and she pushes it away.
Sometimes I feel I gave up all my needs to fulfill hers. I mean, if she wants to go out on some weekend trip knowing I have my weekend free, she'll go without me.
So even though we are working it out, I feel I have lost. Even worst sometimes I feel that I should have kept driving. I was moving on and now I it feels as if I won't have the strength to pack my crap up and drive off again.
In the end I can only say when it comes to breaking up, there are no winners, just losers.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2006): When your girlfriend tells you she just doesn't love you anymore, it's time to move on. The woman of my dreams just did this to me, too, this past Friday during a writer's conference. A cousin who knows me quite well, upon having me tell her this, insisted that there might be a future in this relationship with this woman. My cousin knows me well (obviously), knows my girlfriend, and knows how instensly I love my girlfriend.
Regardless: we've been dumped. It's time to move on, and write our great American novel, and find an evenly lovlier and more caring girlfriend. Gee, the latter shouldn't be that hard after having our hearts ripped out!
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2006): i've just gotten into the same situation today mate! pretty fucked up right now. didn't know what to do. i guess you could say its been coming for a while but i truely believed we'd make it through and we could work it out and be stronger for it. but now i just dont know. my whole world has been ripped apart. she's actually out with her family having a meal for her brothers birthday right now. just waitin for her to get back to we can talk some more. but i dont hold out much hope. but i guess when the chips are down, a slim chance is better than no chance. so i'm going all in on this one. let it all ride. wish me luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2006): I am going through a very similar thing my friend.
The only difference is that my girlfriend found an email that i sent to an ex girlfriend which i played down my new relationship.
She freaked out of course and now doesn't trust me anymore. We took a bit of a break where i went out with another couple of girls but no one came close to Katherine.
She then went out with this other guy and and since then had no love or affection for me. Ironically her going out with this other guy has killed me and i feel the same as you. I just want her love back as much as i love her.
One minute she says she needs more space the next shes being nice to me. I see her at weekends and when i touch her she moves away. I cant work my own emothions out anymore. I say "fuck her she doesn't deserve my love" then "I love her so much i will give her all the time she needs and just be here for her if she needs me".
She still calls me tho so i guess this gives me hope and she is talking about us going away somewhere for christmas...
The only thing you and i can do is give them space. Get on with our own lives and better ourselves. I lost my girl because of my lustfulness and lies. But i asked God for help... Pray man! Pray for strenght and guidance. God loves you. JUst remember that. I have made a lot of progress in my relationship through praying everyday...
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2006): I believe it was Sting who said, "If you love someone, set them free". That is paraphrasing an old adage - which goes something like this - "If you love someone, set them free. If they return, they'll be yours forever. If they don't, they were never yours to begin with". I'm 52 and have been down that road many times. It doesn't get any easier when you're my age. . . maybe harder, because there just aren't as many available women running around. My advice: Walk away and don't look back. Then make an effort to meet new people: join a club; go to church; take dance lessons. Don't just sit around moping. You'll find someone else, and before you know it, you'll be singing the praises of a new love in your life. GOOD LUCK!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2006): hey im in the exact same situation...i was with my g/f for 4 yrs untill 2 weeks ago.....she said that she had doubts for a few weeks then kinda realised she just didnt love me anymore pure and simple....(yeah ok)so she finished it...and obviously i wanted answers...she says she still cares for me etc...finds me funny, attractive etc sex is good...but maybe doesnt get excited to see me cause its like a routine....ive tried everything i think i can...she says that she only sees me as a friend now and wants to be good friends...is there hope still...im so hurt i cant just put 4yrs into memories based on that simple reason please help me i dont wanna be hung up for ages if theres no hope!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): Dude,
Love hurts, it's meant to. I have had some pretty fkuced up experiences with love myself. The important thing is to follow your heart. If your heart is telling you to reach out to her then do it. If you think something is too crazy or might get you arrested, then wait and see how you feel, if you still feel the same then go and do it. The reason it hurts so bad is that you are motivated to do EVERYTHING YOU CAN to make it work. If it dies anyway, at least you will know that you did everything to save. I have been through this, and it took over a year to get over it. But I survived... and sometimes survival is the best you can hope for. Stick in there. Do what you feel in your heart. And whatever happens, know that you gave it everything you could.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2006): Im in the same spot.. I met my girlfriend about 4 years ago, and we were so strong. We would have fights but each time we made up we were stonger than before. And after 4 years of hard and in depth love, she said that she doesnt feel it for me anymore and that shes in love with someone else, the last few months she got distant and wouldnt talk much, and eventually we ended. I feel like I didnt even get a fighting chance to save things or work things out. You build a world with someone and then to have it snatched away by someone that you dont even know because it was kept secret. She wasnt cheating on me, but the feelings for the other guy were developing. And then it just fell down like a castle mad of cards. Its hard to get over. Its been almost a month and for that month Ive always beein trying to get her to see that shes made a mistake, but the heart wont listen until its been hurt. The only thing you can do is take it on the chin and if you want to have hope that you and she will get back together, dont put all your eggs in that basket, have hope, because hope is good, but dont use it as a crutch, or each time that you see her or hear about her being with the other guy, its like kicking that crutch out from under you. Right now you just need to kinda chill some, and let things flow, just get back on the horse and walk along, dont rush into anything. No one climbs out of a plane crash and hops off like nothing happened (metaphorically speaking) Just ease back and recover and have hope. Dont rush into another relationship to try and get over it, but dont close off possible prospects of loving again. Most importantly, dont try to look for the same qualities in another that you sought in her, because no two people are alike, and youll be envisioning her instead of the one youre with... and that isnt right... just recover and take the next few steps with ease.
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reader, Cue +, writes (8 May 2006):
hey i dont really know how relevant what i am gonna say will be to you but i will say it anyway. i will say i am in an exact situation as you if not probably worse. this girls does not feel the same about me anymore and as much as it hurts me that she's no longer around,i have tried to move on. yeah i have its not easy, but you know what the funny thing is? she wont leave me alone. she gets jealous when she sees me with other female friends, call me and tell me she's coming over and never turns up, wont come and collect her stuff from my house, calling and crying and telling me she feels am ignoring her etc. now there is one thing i am thinking that perharps she just wants me to be missrable over her, she me feel sorry because she's no longer with me, or she's got no god clue what she's putting me through. i am sure sometimes you feel like ok i ll move on and then the next minute you are like whats the point. the point is some girls enjoy seeing people they've been with and are no longer with missrable and the more you suck up to her the more comfort she finds in hurting. let her go. its hard i know but if she's got to go she's got to go. show her you've gotten over her as easily as she did. live with your best memories with her and enjoy each day at a time. this is the perfect time to hide behind your smiles, go out make new friends, and never let a broken hearted take the chance of love away from you. Smile, be happy, enjoy life find someone new to love it might be a moment of your life you'll never forget, above all this be gratefull you are alive because for every day we wake there is a renewed opportunity to make our lives better. She doesn't want you its her loss. hope you feel better. CUE.England.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2006): i'm in exactly the same boat mate, i just dont get it. ive been with my girlfriend for nearly a year now and she means the world to me, i just cant let her go. i know i am the 1 for her she just has to realise it. my advise is not pester her just give her time. you aint done nothing wrong its her problem let her sort herself out and she will soon realise what she has done and will regret it like hell and come running back to you. try to keep in contact with her though.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2006): dude;Please follow 'POPS+' advice, you need to leave her alone. When a girl says "I don't love you anymore" it means she lost interest six months ago if not longer. The more you try to contact her the more she will resent you for not moving on. Now stop acting like a wimp, and act like a guy who doesn't care. Women dig that. I know. I've tried to leave my girlfriend twice, and she won't go away. She'll just sit there and sob/wail until I take her back. Then, if I don't mention anything for a whole week she'll assume everything is fine again even though it's painful to be around her. The only feelings your girlfriend has for you are feelings of relief that you're gone. Move on! Go see a shrink to deal with the feelings you have for her, then go out and try again in the love game. For your own health...
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2006): Best thing is to just let her go. Trust me, ive been thro this many many many many times. And persisting always leads to your feelings getting more hurt. Everything happens for a reason.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2006): Same thing happened to me she sed that her luv hav changed and that she had feelings for sum1 else she says she tried to stop her feelings for sum1 else but couldnt and she says her love for me had got smaller and smaler everyday and the 1 day she just told me it was rock bottow i cnt live without her i need her in my life she wasnt just my girlfrend she was my best frend aswell i luv hre so much its only been about a week and i cnt move on dnt think i ever will
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2006): i feel you man....broke up with me for the same reason..she told me she didnt feel the same anymore and that she felt like she could get romantic with someone else...we were together for 2 and half years.She told me she wanted to be friends but thats not an option for me.I Kno its sad but i agreed to be her friend b/c it was my only option. Its been about six months now and miss her to death. I still talk to her about every few weeks but its not the same.I know she'll never find anyone like me. Indeed it is hard getting on with life without someone you care about.My only hope is that she'll realize that i am the one for her
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2006): I have been with my girlfriend for 7 years since I was 17. We got engaged last year in Paris and started living together in September. I had a few money worries and walked out on her in an argument (a few nights away to cool down). The next thing I Know I have her dad on the phone asking for the flat keys back. Me and her dad had a few words and she has moved in with her parents. She now told me that she does not want me anymore and no longer loves me and wont text back or return my calls. She does not want to even be friends. I mean after 7 years how can you turn your back on someone. I am finding it very hard, and miss her to death. I am still trying to get her back but you need to look at it this way,Do you want to be with someone who finds it easy to say they don’t love you??You will find yourself testing her to find out how she feels about you if you ever get back together. You cant make someone love you because you want them to it is hard I know but you need to push on with life and stop all contact. Don’t do anything stupid to yourself because she is not worth it. I think to myself that she will never get a bloke like me again. After time it will pass and you will meet that special someone, I am still looking.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2006): my girlfiend of 1 and a half years has just left me and has started seeing my best mate. It is very hard and i have been dealing with it in the wrong way. I have tried to kill myself by putting a gun in my mouth, slitting my wrists and stabbing myself which has happened 2nite. the best thing to do is talk to someone and just hope for the best. Really show her how much you love her and how much you NEED to be with her. do anything you can. The old sayin, 'ther's plenty more fish in the sea', is rubbish. if you truly love this girl then never give up and never let your love die for her. hopefully, one day, she will realise what she's lost and will want to be with you again. All i can say is, DONT GIVE UP!!!everything will be fine and if you truly love her then you WILL grow old together. Rhys Madley
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2006): What has happened to you is a very hard thing to deal with. The truth is your ex-girlfriend has lost feelings for you way before she informed you about it. The part that hurts the most is letting go but thats exactly what you have to do here. Things happen for a reason and for the most part for good reasons. The next girl you go out with will fulfill you alot more then the past girlfriend did. A few months or a year up the road you are going to be really happy that the relationship ended because if it didn't you wouldn't be as happy as your going to be.
Hang in there all will come to pass.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2005): The same thing is happening to me right at this very moment, only 2 days ago (I think) my girlfriend of 11 months as of next week said that she doesn't know if she loves me like she used to anymore... She says she loves me and I am so important to her but she doesn't know if she's IN love with me and doesn't find me attractive or want to be intimate with me anymore. Im going to try to not contact her until i see her for a little while on christmas, but it will be hard. However I am so confused on what it is... I think that it's because we havent spent quality time together like we used to for over a month... I'm hurting real bad here and she says she wants to be best best friends and we're too young for a restrictive relationship.
My advice to you (if it's still required) is that you just try to give her some space and hopefully she'll miss you and realise what she's done. Don't contact her at all... It's what she wants. If it does end, don't worry, search your feelings, how much do you really love her anyway?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2005): u should work things out then since u love are and all fool
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2005): you just have to talk to her and make her feel like .. umm .. she's in control of everything around her. tell her not to feel weak .. and let her always think twice
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2005): i know hoew you feel, ive been with my bf for 5 months and all the sudden hes just lik it dosent feel the same, but i still like you and everything, then hes a complete jerk to me and barely ever calls me and when he does he can only talk for like 10 minutes
just dont worry because everything will work out the way it should, everything happens for a reason so obviously theres someone out there way better than her! you may not feel that way now but trust it will get better.
it feels like the end of the world but its really not, its the start of something new!!
think about it :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2005): im in a similar situation. my girl of 4 years hasnt wanted to have sex with me for over 9 months, just recently we decided to have a break/split, i want both of us to be happy, and she is'nt when she is with me. i see the girl i met when she is around friends, but with me she is just bored or frustrated or something. any attempts i make to play around (sexualy or not) are met with anger.i'd love for her to be happy with me, but its just not happening. i thaught i was strong enough to let her go, but it hurts. still i dont want to hold on if it is going to cause pain to both of us. what do they say, "if you love something set it free"
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2005): Im going through the same thing right now with my g/f of 2 and half years, i love her so much, i dont know what to do, ive tried everything , cant eat, cant sleep, she still tells me she loves me, she hasnt been home in a week now, staying at her dads house (supposedly?) i guess it doesnt matter, one thing i have learned, instead of thinking " i am in pain, or i am suffering" think, ""there is pain, and there is suffering" in the world, it is a fact of life. I wish you the best of luck
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reader, Bobbyjo  +, writes (30 November 2005):
 It might be hard but dont get into a row with her. You may be feeling frustrated at the moment but perstering her really will push her away even further. Let her go, then dont call her, talk about her or even think about her. Maybe in a couple of months time when you arent hurting as much, you can both talk and you can find out exactly what you did wrong. Please dont be clingy and beg for her back as this is the worst thing you can do, as I know for myself. Begging my ex-boyfriend back for 6 months ended up making me look like sad and pathetic and it ruined my life, we agreed to be friends when we split but because I kept harrassing him he now completely ignores me.
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reader, Abeer Issa +, writes (24 November 2005):
Hi buddy..just forget what they mentioned, you have two options now the first one is to give her a space, ignore her let for a month and if she called you so she will recoverd, if not so now you will have the second option..that girl doesnt deserve your love, and be sure that some1 will treat her in the same she treated you one day..have some sports and go ahead...you just need one week and you will forget about her...I can what you feel, you cant live and you cant breath,,I know this feeling..just cry and when you finish crying you will discover you cannot love her anymore..she hurted you...think this way...
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2005): Hi buddy..just forget what they mentioned, you have two options now the first one is to give her a space, ignore her let for a month and if she called you so she will recoverd, if not so now you will have the second option..that girl doesnt deserve your love, and be sure that some1 will treat her in the same she treated you one day..have some sports and go ahead...you just need one week and you will forget about her...I can what you feel, you cant live and you cant breath,,I know this feeling..just cry and when you finish crying you will discover you cannot love her anymore..she hurted you...think this way...
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2005): I am about to do to my boyfriend what your girlfriend did to you,ive been with my partner 18 years,and i know longer am in love with him.but he thinks the world off me,and he will not leave me alone.trust me son the more you pester your ex, the more she will reject you. if she`s any-think like me, leave well alone untill she is ready.you have heard of that saying .theres plenty of fish in the sea.well go and fish....
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2005): If you still love this girl and she loves you talk about things and hopefully the two of you can work things out.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2005): Same thing happened to me a long time ago. When she said we should see other people i responded by saying "Dont call me, dont write me dont even fucking think about me" that was 12 years ago. i still feel bad about what i said to her. i am now married with for kids, she is married now too. sometimes i wish we would have ended up together. dont get angry and say something you will regret forever.
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reader, bootie09 +, writes (14 November 2005):
The truth is if she just feels different about you two than you do theres nothing you really can do! Unless shes changing her mind about something that you couldve done or said! Just talk to her and tell her how you really feel and that you dont want to let her go cause you love her. Dont do anything crazy but atleast do something that you think will change her mind.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2005): Same thing just happened to me man. I think the lesson for the future is take things s-l-o-w, or at least that is what I have learnt. I am in so much pain now, but you have to remember that you will get over it eventually. My girl decided in a week that from want to marry me and move in with me that she never wanted to see me again and had apparently never loved me. To push the message home she kissed another man 2 days after splitting up. Things can always be worse, and with time they will generally get better
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female
reader, StaceyB31 +, writes (13 November 2005):
Sometimes letting go can be very difficult. She obviously wants to move on. Why hang on to someone who doesn't want you. You, I am sure deserve better. It sounds to me as if you are not feeling very good about yourself. Work on you first the when your ready there will be a woman out there that will trully love you. The heart does heal and you will be able to move on. Good luck.
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female
reader, shania +, writes (13 November 2005):
 She has made it pretty clear that she doesn't want u anymore,rejection is a horrible thing to experience but everyone has been through it one way or another.You obviously love her,perhaps but you cant force someone to love you.When you meet someone and fall in love you hope that it will last forever but im afraid life is not like that.What you should do is keep busy,go out with your friends,talk to a special mate about how you feel,it will be hard cos heartache is a bitch but you will get over it cos time is a great healer.You will meet someone else who will fall in love with you and your ex girlfriend will be a thing of the past.I promise!
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (13 November 2005):
 It's over Buddy. There's no "fixing" that. Pull yourself up by your boot straps and move on,
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reader, pops +, writes (13 November 2005):
What part of the word, " NO" don't you understand? She doesn't want to be around you anymore. I suspect it may be related to your obsessive possessiveness towards her. You are probably acting towards her like you own her, and she resents it. Deal with your emotional problem professional( get help), and leave her alone. You are not the first guy who has scared away a woman because he was too possessive, and you won't be the last. Stop contacting her, before you are arrested, or worse.
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