| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I am going out with this guy, he is 18 and I am 16. I really love him. A LOT. We've been going out for about three months. He wants to have sex, but I don't. I am a virgin and I am kinda scared. He says he's gonna leave me if I didn't give him what he wants. I don't know what to do and I don't want to leave me.should I give him what he wants, or leave him? though he is pressuring me about it, I really love him a lot, he treats me right and he says he loves me. I have no one to talk to about it, because I am embarrssed.What am I suppose to do? I can't leave him. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2006): one of the motto's that i live by is
A guy worth crying over won't make you cry at all.
and as far as i'm concered it can work the same in your situation. "A guy worth having sex with won't MAKE you have sex at all." it needs to be a mutual decsion or u'll regret it later on. here's somethin u could say to cool him off a little bit.
"Yes! let's drop out of school and make babies and you can work flippin' burgers as a full time job and we can live with your parents for our whole lives!!!" but make sure you say it with a bunch of enthusiasm...don't worry, he'll back off after that! well...i hope everything works out! best of luck
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2006): I have to agree with the general concencus of NO F**KING WAY (Pun intended)!
If he really loved you, you saying that your scared about losing it should be enough for him to back off. But I suspect (from what you write) that you don't feel comfortable enough to talk about your fears with him which leads me to one conclusion - this isn't love!
...............................
A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (19 October 2006):
 Yes, you CAN leave him.
What is he going to try to force on you next?
You found him, thus you can find someone else.
-Frank B Kermit
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2006): I agree with the others, particularly Dr Reality Check! In fact, I would probably guess that if you DO have sex with him, he'll probably leave you afterwards any way.
No person that has an inch of respect or care for someone would ever give the "give me sex or its over ultimatium" you may think you love him, but he does not love you, I doubt he even respects you.
Save your precious virginity for someone who loves you.
Don't be one of these girls who ends up thinking for the rest of their life that they wish they had waited longer.
You ALWAYS remember your first time. Are you sure you wish to remember this guy for the rest of your entire life?
...............................
A
male
reader, Dr. Reality Check  +, writes (15 October 2006):
 He thought if he said the three magic words you^d jump into bed with him. He doesnt love you....he loves the idea of sex with a 16 yo. Leave him NOW...
...............................
A
female
reader, Hanna +, writes (15 October 2006):
 NEVER let anyone force you into losing your viginity, only do it when your ready. If he's threatening to leave you, let him, if he REALLY loves you he should be more understanding to how you feel.
...............................
A
female
reader, pica +, writes (15 October 2006):
Anyone who says "I love you" and then "but I'll leave you if you don't do X for me" (especially sex, especially to a virgin) is a major loser and does not care about you. Please, please listen to the replies here and take heed. I know you think you love him but he doesn't love you. Sorry. You can and will find a guy who cares and will teate you right - it's just not this guy.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2006): 3 months its TOO SOON to be sleeping with him!!!!!-well,if he loves you so much like you said-SURE he can wait for you until you are ready!-just try talking to him about it,if he still dont understand,im sorry to tell you this but just leave him,it shows what hes interested in,SEX,!
...............................
A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (15 October 2006):
 Tell him you don't want to see him again.
See...the virgin thing Is a huge can of worms...
Guys will spend the rest of their lives Bragging about how they "Popped your cherry" Its about them...what THEY want....not about you.
Selfish Guys don't give a rats behind about bragging that they gave you your first ORGASIM. Know what...when you find a boy who's only concern is making YOU Happy...without having to TELL them that so they give it lip service..."Oh baby...that's so important to me....I want to make you happy TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Not Tooooooo. When you find a boy who ONLY wants to make you happy....then you have someone who might be worthy for you to give the special gift of YOU. This guy who's gonna Dump you if you Don't spread your legs and put out is not even worth THINKING about complying with.
Tell him Hookers Do it for a price....if he wants a sure thing....he'd better start saving his cash for one of them....cause he will never be able to put a price on you and he's just cost himself any hope he had.
Then when he parades his next girlfriend in front of you...you know she probably got the same demand and if she fell for it...Feel sad for her that she didn't think more of herself. Your smarter than that. Your worth more than that...and He....
He simply Isn't worth anything until he grows up a very significant amount.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2006): NO, NO, NO! Whatever you decide to do NO! Take it from someone who knows, I was 17 when I lost mine, my boyfriend was 20, he told me he would leave too. we had been together for 6 months and I love him too. I gave in and I really, really regret it. Guess where it left me? With his daughter and where is he? with his new wife. Not eveyone has the same experience as me, but think about it, if he is pressureing you to do this, think of the other girls he pressured and left.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2006): whatever you do DON"T DO IT! You can not start your life this way. you can not run and give people everything they want just to make them happy. you are 16, you are old enough to know that what he is doing is wrong. it is his doing and NOT yours. he is a bully and does not and can not really care for you. his actions speak for themselves. be strong. thisisnt the first hard decision you are going to have to make in your life. do yourself a favor and start out on the right foot. the stong foot.
...............................
|
