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My married female teacher is about 28 and she finds many opportunities to touch me. I like it. Is this OK? Does it make me a lesbian?

Tagged as: Age differences, Crushes, Gay relationships, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 September 2014) 3 Answers - (Newest, 14 September 2014)
A female India age 26-29, *oojameera writes:

I am a student, 19 years old, good in studies. I am in a relationship with my boyfriend.

I have a teacher in my college,she is married and has a year old son. she may be of 28 or 29 years of age. she is a good teacher. she is very friendly, frank and kind. when i met her for the first time, i didn't like her at all. But slowly my opinion towards her changed when i came to know that she is very kind.

Then i started observing her, she was beautiful. one day, i met with a bad incident, and i couldn't control myself, and i burst out crying.

But she found me crying and took me to her office and comforted me.

The way she was talking to me gave peace to my mind.

Nobody has ever talked to me like that.

She wiped my tears using her hand, she was touching my hairs, cheeks and she was holding my hands tightly, she was correcting my top and all. she even hugged me. that was the first hug i have ever got from a teacher. i never expected this.

Later on, i was attracted to her more. she started giving me more attention in class as compared to other students. which i liked. she keeps staring me through out the lecture. she even chats with me. we had a study tour in which only she was in charge of us. she was with me the whole day, and even she was touching me often, she use to rub my back and hold me close to her while walking. and bumped on me several times. she didn't even allow me to go with my friends, instead she made me to come with her.

she was not treating me as her student, instead she was behaving like i was her friend. after that, whenever i met her or whenever i talked to her, she always touched me. even during the practicals, she watches me and stands behind me and rub my back.

all my friends noticed her activities and they tease me by her name. recently i went to her to talk about something, while i was talking, she hugged me suddenly and smiled.

I felt very good. And now, i am crazy for her. I always try to drag her attention towards me. I think i am attracted to her.

I want to spend a good time with her and have to talk many things. I want to know more about her and want her to know more about me.

Am i lesbian? I am attracted to a lady older than me. I'll be happy if i get any physical relationship with her.

Should i let her know about my feeling? or is she feeling the same? she never misses a chance to touch me, why would a teacher do that? I feel like to tell her about this but i am equally worried she would be offended. what should i do ?

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (14 September 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntFrom the age grouping you are placed in(18-20) it would seem to me you'd know if you were straight or gay by now and the touching teacher would not have any influence one way or another. You should report her if she makes you feel uncompfortable though.

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A female reader, Intrigued3000 Canada +, writes (14 September 2014):

Intrigued3000 agony auntFrom what you described, it seems your teacher's touching and special attention is maternal in nature. I think she cares about you and worries about you, but it's more like a mother would. I may be wrong, but I see it all as maternal affection. You have a crush on your teacher, and will of course romanticize every interaction you have with her. Maybe you're a lesbian. Maybe you're bisexual. I don't think you should do anything. You are both involved in relationships and it is inappropriate for any kind of sexual relationship to develop between a teacher and a student.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (14 September 2014):

janniepeg agony auntI don't think it's okay because you have a boyfriend and she is a teacher and should keep her feelings inside. We always romanticize those who saved our lives, and soothed us in emotional distress. Raw emotions are hard to resist. When you cried you couldn't control but the other person saw it as: you trusted her so much that you let her in a very vulnerable, delicate area of you. She felt a great urge to protect you. She should have stopped right there if she wants to keep her profession. Those kind of touchings are reserved for our loved ones. You spend a lot of hours in public and outside of the relationship and it is up to you to have self restraints. You could be a bisexual. Not lesbian because if a male teacher did this to you also you would have the same effect. You should not encourage more of this dalliance because this is cheating. I hope you have the chance to show strong emotions to your boyfriend because that would deepen your bond. He is the only acceptable person in your life to do this with. Now your attention is scattered somewhere else because your teacher happened to be the person to take care of you at that time. The more thoughts you give to your teacher is the more distance from your boyfriend. Unless that bad incident was related to your boyfriend. Then that's a complete different story.

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