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Should height be a factor in not picking someone?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 September 2014) 13 Answers - (Newest, 19 September 2014)
A female United States age 36-40, *rincessjasmine writes:

Should height be a factor in not picking someone? There's a guy I went out with recently, cute, sweet, funny, and we got along fine it's just that he's so short. I mean I'm short too but he's like 2 inches taller than me and I'm 5'1 I love heels and I never want to be taller than my guy. I always imagined being with a tall guy, I like big guys. I'm attracted to that. I wouldn't mind if he wasn't a tall guy, I wouldn't mind if he was even 5'7 bit he's like 5'3. Is this shallow of me? I see all my friends with taller guys and they look great. I want that too! Should I not be picky? It is bothering me

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A female reader, princessjasmine United States +, writes (19 September 2014):

princessjasmine is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks guys, I think I'm just going to see where it goes.... The height bugs me bit he's awesome so I'll just take it day by day.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (16 September 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntIf you are attracted to him in spite of his height and you are just feeling like this is wrong... then go for it...

IF you can't get past his height then yes you should end it ASAP but do not tell him it's cause of his height

I'm 5'2 and I get preferring taller guys but i never discounted shorter guys either.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (16 September 2014):

eyeswideopen agony auntIf you do decide not to date him anymore, just do him the favor of not telling him it's because of his height, that is if he even asks.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (16 September 2014):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntMy Brother, Steve, who taught me everything a guy could need to know about love, and romance and women..... once pointed out to me that - when two people are lying together in bed - they're both just about the same "height." Works for me.....

Good luck....

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2014):

Should breast size be a factor in not picking a woman?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2014):

I think it is shallow on some level, or maybe not the best decision, but totally understandable because we all have types we are attracted to. I usually like tall men and they seem to like me, but there is one shorter man who I find very attractive, factoring in a great personality and looks, so personality would definitely win for me in that case in spite of my type. If he were available I would definitely date him.

As someone said you could end up with a tall loser too. It may be just that you're not attracted to him even without the height issue.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (15 September 2014):

Attraction is perfectly natural, it helps to make sure you children will have desirable traits (which is why its always been important for humans and many other animals).

If you have kids with this guy they're gonna be short. Would you care if you boy grew up to be 5'3"?

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A female reader, Looking4Mr.RightNow United States +, writes (14 September 2014):

In the big scheme of things, his height should not matter so much. I do feel that being attracted to each other however, is very important.

If you look around you will find other couples like yourself. There is no perfect situation in these matters. I think you should try to concentrate on the other things that you like about him. Also, There are other aspects of him that you need to be exploring. Like, How does he handle stress, or his problems would be one thing to consider. What are his expectations in a marriage situation and can he meet your expectations?

Over-all if everything else is good... go with it.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (14 September 2014):

olderthandirt agony auntIdon't think being attracted to a person per his or her physical atributes is shallow at all. To me anyway, what's shallow is those folks that are upset because of another person admiring those physical qualities; example: "Oh you just like her because she's got big ___s!" when that's not at all true. Making those kind of assumptions is what's shallow. For example; I prefer women that have great eyes. Tall women are very attractive to me. That's not shallow. That's just part of the attraction people have to other people. A great sense of humor is paramount. But never makes the "Oh that's shallow!"

list,now does it? Great eyes,tall and a great sense of humor so sue me.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (14 September 2014):

CindyCares agony aunt I don't think it's shallow - you've got to be able to like a guy also physically, at least somewhat . You are going to have to make love with him at some point, and you are not going to make love ( only ) with his wonderful sense of humour, or his gentlemanly manners, or his extensive collection of vyniles from the 70s... or whatever you may find attractive in him. You need to be ( at least somewhat ) physically attracted to his exterior shape too, otherwise you can only have a beuriful FRIENDSHIP. And, if, unluckily for him, height is a dealbreaker for you, and you do not feel physically attracted at all to short guys... there you have it.

I think everyone is entitled to one or two deal breakers :). ( No more, though, for the simple reason that if you fixates on too many can't- can't be short, can't be pale, can't be hairy, can't wear glasses , can't have blue eyes, can't this can't that- you DO risk - actually, you are sure of- missing out on a lot of people who could be perfect for you, only they don't match all your physical criterua.

So, flexibility is recommendable ( then again, generally is only teenagers who have in mind a super-precise pic of how their Prince Charming should be , I guess most of us snap out of this growing up ). But, a couple of deal breakers... I thinks it's unavoidable !. If we were pure spirits, and noble superior creatures, we could totally overlook the physical details and just love through our monds and hearts, regardless teh response of our senses. BUt, we are body and spirit, and our senses wants to be pleased too - particularly the sight sense - to a reasonable extent and , I don't see how we could get around that...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2014):

I think you really dont like him. Becoz if you do size or height wont matter. I can relate with u.

We all have our own standard when it comes to people we usually get attracted to.

Height matters to u and thats ok. You have to be with someone you will be proud of when your with him or her otherwise you will be unfair with that person.

For me go with someone you really like complete package. Because if he does not meet your standard one way or another u might be unfair with the person.

Just be friends first with this guy and if you find out his relationship worthy despite height issues then maybe thats the time you decide what to do.

Good luck..

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 September 2014):

Honeypie agony auntIs it shallow?

Somewhat yes, but.. some people would say, there is also the whole :"we like what we like".

Personally, I think "discarding" a guy because of his height is shooting yourself in the foot, because if he HAS the greatest personality, he is faithful, funny, an overall great match, but he comes up... short.. What then? You rather date a TALL douche-canoe, then a shorter great guy? See what I mean?

If you can't see PAST his height then don't date him no more. If height is more important than anything else, then find a tall fella, maybe you will get lucky and find a guy who is both a great guy and tall.

Some guys like girls with big boobs, blonde, redhead, brunette. Some prefer short girls, some tall.

We like what we like. But that in turn can limit what is out there.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (14 September 2014):

janniepeg agony auntI am shallow but if the opportunity falls and we get along great, then it's not a factor anymore. It would help if he has confidence and you are attracted to each other. I won't think too much about it. If you have no other dates I would say give him a try.

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