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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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He couldn't get it up and blamed it on the fact of he doesn't measure up to others I have dated
Q. About a month ago my male best friend and I came clean about our feelings for each other. Last night we were going to have sex for the first time; it wasn't planned. It just happened. But he couldn't get it up! I obviously was so upset because I ...
A. 19 August 2014: So...and how does he know that little tidbit of information?Did you let it out as a point of fact so that he'll forever know he is inferior to the others?... (read in full...)
He couldn't get it up and blamed it on the fact of he doesn't measure up to others I have dated
Q. About a month ago my male best friend and I came clean about our feelings for each other. Last night we were going to have sex for the first time; it wasn't planned. It just happened. But he couldn't get it up! I obviously was so upset because I ...
A. 18 August 2014: Nope, not you, performance anxirty,,it takes us all down once in a while. Just one of those things.... (read in full...)
How important do you think political opinions are in a relationship?
Q. Hi all, I'm looking for some opinions on how important you think political opinions are in a relationship? As I'm sure many of you know, Scotland are about to go through an independence referendum. This whole thing has completely divided the coun...
A. 12 August 2014: I'm delighted to learn a small bit of emerging history as I was unawre of this Scotish refendumit's not yet hit the news here in the states to my knowledge. Inour county (USA) we only have two types of plitical views; 1 Individua freedoms and small ... (read in full...)
Did I scare this guy away? He was given my number but has not called, friends trying to get us together
Q. Hey everyone, well something happened over the weekend and I would like your opinions on it. My best friend and I were invited to this get together by her BF. This guy had hosted a get together last week which I went to. So we got there and we ...
A. 12 August 2014: If he's so socially inept you're probably better off without the headaches you'd be in for with him around your life(lesson learned= (dumb guys don't get it) Never try to teach a pig to sing..it only wastes your time and annoys the pig.... (read in full...)
He stood me up and I don't know if he deserves a second chance...
Q. We had a first date/meeting set up for Wednesday. We're both pretty busy and hardly get to chat, let alone set a time to get together. Wednesday comes and I hear... nothing! I then realise he was last online on Monday evening, which meant he hadn't ...
A. 12 August 2014: Iyou feel like you got disrespected(boy I hate that word) then I guess you have evy right to tell the dude where to go. owever, if you feel there was a mix up and it was an innocent error on his part then give it another go. It really all depend on ... (read in full...)
How important do you think political opinions are in a relationship?
Q. Hi all, I'm looking for some opinions on how important you think political opinions are in a relationship? As I'm sure many of you know, Scotland are about to go through an independence referendum. This whole thing has completely divided the coun...
A. 11 August 2014: 'They" say the trhird rail in any relationship is either sex politics or religion and at any given time that's probably true. A great relationship is held together if two are on the same page with all three.... (read in full...)
How do I confront him about his lies?
Q. Im 21, nearly 22, and have been getting to know this guy since May, but have been speaking since February. We were both at university (far apart) so we used to Skype every day, talk on the phone for hours and text throughout the day for 3 months...
A. 11 August 2014: I think you need a quiet disclosure about what you know and how you came to know it via a nice long letter9that's an ancient form of communication used with a pen,some paper and a previously thought out draft on a seperate sheet of paper. In this ... (read in full...)
I want my ex out of my life but will feel guilty if I have to call the police
Q. My ex boyfriend kept going through my email. He read emails, accused me of sleeping with multiple guys in my past (pretty much any guy). He then would contact them as if it was me to ask them if I had sex with them. He created a fb profile of a guy ...
A. 11 August 2014: OK, this is border-line scary..guilt be damned! You definetly need a little police involvement lest you be stalked or worse for days/months. This guy oviously cannot deal with the reality of a break-up so you need to protect yourself. Just ask any ... (read in full...)
Do men like biting and scratching during sex?
Q. Is it enjoyable for a guy to have his back grabbed/ lightly scratched during sex? Lip bitten? I just don't want to hurt or turn men off. When I get excited, I can't help it! Opinions? ...
A. 11 August 2014: Idon't know about other men but this man would probably not take kindly to that sort of action, a simple moan or yes yes is sufficient to let me know all is well.... (read in full...)
What can I do about my obnoxious brother in law who constantly outstays his welcome, especially at weekends?
Q. My husband and I have been married for over ten years and have 2 children. The last 2 to 3 years his brother comes by or calls our home once to twice a week. Sometimes more. He mainly comes by unannounced and stays usually the whole day and even ...
A. 11 August 2014: Yu should have a face-to-face serious talk with your husband and explain in detail why you need to have your own time with him and the bro-in-law needs to be un-invited so often. if he(your husband) is a diplomate he can say, Hey,brother we love ... (read in full...)
Why the weekly contact from my ex?
Q. My ex and I were together for several years. We broke up around 2 months ago. Since our BU, which I initiated but he seemed to want it too, he has text me EVERY week. Every single week he sends at least one text message. They never say anything ...
A. 11 August 2014: You obviously have never tried to quit smoking. A habit is very hard to break..out of subconcious habit he still feels a ned to share with you. Reality hasn't yet jumped up and bit him in the butt.... (read in full...)
LDR--Is it selfish of me to want him to move to be with me?
Q. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend Jake for a little over 3 years now. I just turned 22 and he is 21. Recently I transferred to a great music school about in Boston 9 hours away from my home town where he is attending school. I went ...
A. 11 August 2014: Quite simply and without any long explination....YES It is!... (read in full...)
He couldn't get it up and blamed it on the fact of he doesn't measure up to others I have dated
Q. About a month ago my male best friend and I came clean about our feelings for each other. Last night we were going to have sex for the first time; it wasn't planned. It just happened. But he couldn't get it up! I obviously was so upset because I ...
A. 10 August 2014: He was under an enormous amount of performance pressure and I'm sure any man would have "failed" in that scenerio plus every man is convinced he won't measure up to her previous encounters especially if he is in any way 'under endowed' not to worry ... (read in full...)
His porn preference is for larger women, I am slim, should I worry?
Q. My boyfriend is into big girls who are pretty, but I am slim - he does love me and find me sexy but it makes me insecure. I know he is into lots of types of girls, but his porn preference is BBW. Do I need to worry? He wants to marry me and buy a ...
A. 9 August 2014: If porn was real, then maybe he really hankers for large women but since it is totally a fantasy, I suspect he's just curious to see how "the other half" lives or does cool things to one another. Don't worry, he's just turning pages in the fantasy ... (read in full...)
Should the other woman tell the wife?
Q. In a nutshell, should the other woman tell the wife? It's after breaking up with the married man (5 month affair), she does care for him very deeply. He has said his wife has seen several text messages and suspects an affair, and that there have ...
A. 9 August 2014: Imay sound like the sterotyical male chauvenist pig but hergoes; what's gained by geting everythingall stiredp into a near bloodbath. Do you go round kicking sleepin dogs? Things will evolve on their own without you(the OW I suspect) wil just be ... (read in full...)
Are there some kind of rules about when friends have a fall out?
Q. If three mature women are friends for a few years and one of them stops speaking completely to the other (actually the one who she was friends with in the first place, before the other came along) is there any onus at all on the third friend to ...
A. 9 August 2014: Oh me, I too confused to respond. Who's on first? No, that's What. What's on third. I give up. Sorry but I got lost in the what if part. Good Luck on finding out who did what first and to whom it was done.... (read in full...)
Am I over thinking it when my boyfriend calls me dear?
Q. I haven't seen my boyfriend for about a month now, although we've talked and texted almost every day. But, recently, in the past week or so, I've noticed that when he texts me, he calls me "Dear". He calls me babe all the time and even has me as ...
A. 9 August 2014: A name a name What's in a name? You may be trying to find meaning somewhere where it does not exist. Why not just go with the flow? Now then, if it really upsets you tell him to call you The Princess or The Qween but not honey or love bottom. Pick a ... (read in full...)
He's a super nice guy but I'm worried that he's gay
Q. I just started seeing this guy I met online. He is so incredibly nice, sweet and wants the same things I do. However, I worry that he may be gay and just in the closet. He's the first guy I've ever met who hasn't had his hands all over me or t...
A. 8 August 2014: If you are unsure of his sexuality then you should do one of two things; One...Ask him right out! or B. find someone else. Otherwise, the outcome will result in something Very traumatic for both of you.... (read in full...)
Our religious views arent the same. Do I end things now?
Q. Hi guys, I'm hoping that someone can help me make sense and see things from an outside of the box perspective. I don't really have anyone to discuss these issues with an feel so alone trying to find a solution. Here goes.. I met this guy onlin...
A. 8 August 2014: I love the term player/idiot, had not heard that one before but it sounds applicable in this case. Run for the hills young lass. Good Luck... (read in full...)
Boyfriend seems to only mention marriage when I am depressed
Q. My boyfriend and I haven't been together a year yet but he already brings up marriage. We are expecting a child, it was a complete accidental pregnancy, I was on birth control and we were using a condom but somehow I still got pregnant (My mother ...
A. 8 August 2014: I think Wiseowl E has got it right!... (read in full...)
Boyfriend paid for expensive trip but is it too much too soon?
Q. I'm probably overthinking this but is it too soon to be going on holiday with my boyfriend when we have only just (last few months) got back together after being apart for about two years? Last week it was my birthday and as a gift my boyfrien...
A. 8 August 2014: Put the costs aside for a moment and just ask yourself,"Do I want to rekindle this relationship?" If yes, then throw caution to the wind and go and have a great time. If,on the other hand,o, then tell him, thanks but you don't have any desire to ... (read in full...)
Affectionate guy, says he's "not a big texter" but 6 weeks of silence while he travels is driving me insane!
Q. Hey everyone, A couple of weeks ago now, a guy with whom I have a lot of mutual friends, whom I'd never met in the flesh but had heard great things about, and I, went on a date. After a couple of flirty Facebook posts, he'd asked me out a month p...
A. 8 August 2014: You may already know this but some people(guys especially) are t communication skills. It sounds in additiono being the typical poor communicator(a natural trait for us guys by the way) he may be very shy, hence the "pussyfooting around" you refer ... (read in full...)
I need ideas for a vegetarian meal for our upcoming party
Q. Definitely not a relationship question but sometimes help and inspiration come from the most unlikely sources.... One of the hobby groups I'm in has an annual "long weekend away" shindig (party) which is coming up in about 3 weeks. Everybody...
A. 5 August 2014: Griled Prtabellas and grilled pineapple rings are super easy and super traditional. Use plenty of Soy sauce on the pineapple for an extra glazed effect.... (read in full...)
Finally after years of no sex my wife was happy to have sex this week. So why did it feel so unsatisfactory and unfulfilling for me?
Q. My wife did not have sex with me very many years (more than a decade) and in my mind I always felt like sex was that one missing piece that would rejuvenate the relationship. I really missed it, I craved it, and it made me feel lonely that we stopp...
A. 5 August 2014: Don't sweat it. You're probably not going to have sex again for another ten years. If she is anything like my wife or my friends wives, there is a periodic feeling of guilt where they will allow you to have her then back to 'normal' again.... (read in full...)
His porn preference is for larger women, I am slim, should I worry?
Q. My boyfriend is into big girls who are pretty, but I am slim - he does love me and find me sexy but it makes me insecure. I know he is into lots of types of girls, but his porn preference is BBW. Do I need to worry? He wants to marry me and buy a ...
A. 5 August 2014: Ciaras it right on! porn is fantasy and has nothing to do with reality. Instant turn ons don't represent long lasting turnons... (read in full...)
How come he never thinks my 'look' is quite right?
Q. I'm confused. When I hadn't been with my boyfriend for long I overheard him say that I look ok but not as good as some other girls he knows. Fast forward a couple of years I've tried dressing normally, conservatively, flamboyantly,using full mak...
A. 5 August 2014: You may havetaken somethng out of context. talk it out and see if you overheard part f a broader discussion that had a very innocent topic.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 4 years has started to ignore me, and I don't know what to do!
Q. Hi, i'm a little lost right now and unsure of what to do. My boyfriend of 4 years has started to ignore me. its been a week now and at the beginning i sent him some horrible messages trying to get a response. which, of course i felt horrible fo...
A. 5 August 2014: So what you're saying s he won't act the way you want him to act.Why should you dictat his actions and responses?Is he supposed to give up all individuality in order to be with you?... (read in full...)
She won't allow me to kiss or touch her, she's pregnant by so-called rape, why the change?
Q. hey guys i have been dating this girl for a year and everything seems fine and she is pregnant with the soo called rape child she doesnt allow me to kiss or touch her ,i feel like i dont exist even though we stay together and share the same bed ...
A. 5 August 2014: I don't blame her one bit...you obviously don't believe her that she was raped so why would she want to be intimate with you?... (read in full...)
He won't sex chat with me!
Q. Hey guys I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 24 and we're in long destines relationship It's really hard to meet and i might meet him after 6 months or more I never had sex before but he did anyway before 2 days i was talking about chat sex and he re...
A. 5 August 2014: Perhaps you should redefine your needs for sex chat. There is NO requirement that anyoe should sex chat(whatever that means) it sounds like you might be scaring him away.... (read in full...)
Should I leave him for good for lying and verbally abusing me?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly two years, but from the second time I met him he talked about a 'friend' constantly. Every time I'd see him she'd be brought into the conversation somewhere. Then after a few weeks he said it was his ex ...
A. 5 August 2014: You should definety leave him...if not for lying then for being such a jerk. No one who respects the one they're with acts the way he seems to act. ind one that respects you first and loves you second.... (read in full...)
He's always observing me, what does this mean?
Q. Anytime I'm around this certain guy, I noticed he's observing me quite often, watching things I do, like he's interested in how I do every little thing. Now it's not constantly, like creepy, but it's very often, I even feel his eyes watching me when ...
A. 5 August 2014: Iould be that you remind him of someone he knows very well and is just facinated by your likeness to her, OR, it could be he's a dsangerous stalker. However, it's probably that you are a facinating person and hefinds beauty in your actions. It is ... (read in full...)
Why was I unfriended on Facebook? Did I do anything wrong?
Q. Ok, what do you in following situation. If you went on a couple of dates with someone, you fancied them but you weren't sure how they felt as there were mixed signals and there were times were you felt they wanted to kiss you but didnt do anything. ...
A. 4 August 2014: Whatyou did wrong was getting involved with FB in the first place. Everyday there is yet another reason to avoid FB. It gives people vauge and falacious senses of reality and so when reality comes along and bites them in the hind quarters they ... (read in full...)
His foot fetish makes me feel like he doesn't fancy me enough to maintain an erection!
Q. Hey aunts and uncles! I've been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for about 3 months (I've known him for a year)....we see each other at weekends and sometimes through the week if we both have time off work... Things are goin...
A. 4 August 2014: Investigate(try using) a cock ring...once erect it stays erect for quite some time. Good Luck... (read in full...)
She said I didn't get it, she's right, I didn't get it!
Q. Sorry this may be a little long. So last night my gf of almost 2 years and I were fine. We were watching a movie, she fell asleep and I fell asleep shortly after her. We weren't fighting or anything. Then this morning she told me she had a dream ...
A. 3 August 2014: This sounds like a bad dream gone bad...It could be that you two semi woke up and began blaming one another for the ghost of a dream and are looking for the 'hidden meaning' of the dreams Oh for crying out loud. Stop trying to psco-analyize each ... (read in full...)
Is there something wrong with a man who is watching the 'teen' category in porn?
Q. As a woman I have no problem with consentually adult material ie porn however I often notice when seeing the categories that teen is always one of them Personally it makes me feel sick and I steer well away from that but maybe I'm overreac...
A. 31 July 2014: Teen vidsre interesting only in that it brings back memories that yo don't need to know about.... (read in full...)
My fiancé keeps trying to take nude photos of me without my consent!
Q. Okay, so we were on vacation and hot at it and my significant other (my fiancé) got up from the bed, then all of a sudden I saw a flash in the dark room and he took a picture of me nude and then he wanted to take closer pictures of my body parts. I ...
A. 31 July 2014: This dude is bent on destruction.Besides being stupid he's probably dangerous(either now or in the future) His obsesion is beyond discussion. I'd suggest you leave before he outwits you and you end up on the internet so he can replay his conquest. ... (read in full...)
Do guys always stop intercourse after they cum?
Q. Hello agony aunts and uncles! So I just have a pretty straightforward question, do guys always stop intercourse after they cum? Every guy I've been with has. But I've heard before that not everyone does (i don't know if they're lying or not) th...
A. 31 July 2014: Pretty much after ejaculation a guy is out of sexual energy and getting another erection is out of the question. However, continued love making is very much possible with fingers,tounge and any other things. Ergo, one 'session' can last for hours ... (read in full...)
Could I get pregnant from dry humping?
Q. My boyfriend and I dry humped. I have like cheer shorts on, they are short and thin plus underwear. He had underwear and like guys athletic shorts. Well we were humping and I felt something wet down there. Im scared I could be pregant please help!...
A. 31 July 2014: no... (read in full...)
Question on BDSM: What things could I do or use sexually to drive my B/f wild?
Q. Hi cupids, this is a question in hope of gathering all of the BDSM style members. My partner is into BDSM and loves anything considered dirty/experimental. In the past we have used hot candle wax, being tied up etc but what I'm here to ask is, how ...
A. 31 July 2014: Try standing out of reach and masturbating...it'll drive him nuts!... (read in full...)
What sort of vibes do these men want?
Q. Hello. Happy to find you guys and ladies here. My problem? I've been told by a couple of guys that the reason they haven't approached me or tried to have sex with me is because I haven't given them those kind of vibes. well, I don't know what vibes ...
A. 28 July 2014: There is acertain way of being sexy that is nearly invisable to most but guyscan pick up on itfrom a mile away. A look, a smile, a flip of the hair., a twinkle the eye,a way of talking (R-rated)..etc. It's not possible to explain butif she's got it ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to find out what is bothering him! He won't talk!
Q. I've been with my current bf for nearly 4 years and we've always had great fun together and I know we both feel very strongly about eachother. We moved in together in December and everything has been great, up until three days ago. He came back f...
A. 28 July 2014: We guys don't talk about our "feelings" like you gals do so just reviewing his actions of staying out without an excuse or a reason would indicate 'the party's over' or aleast about to be over. Why not try this; leave a notebook and pen on the table ... (read in full...)
Would you interpret this as he now just sees us as friends or still likes me?
Q. Hi, my question is, how to interpret a text from a guy that has in the past said he definitely likes me. I texted him Happy Birthday and he texted back 'thank you my sweet friend :) xx I hope to see you soon'. Would you interpret this as he now ...
A. 28 July 2014: All I know is that if I had txted that it would mean more than just a howdy doo the xx and the word "sweet" would be the give aways to me. Lots of luck... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife that I'm considering a visit to see a prostitute?
Q. Yes, this is a weird question to ask. However, my wife of 20 years will not have sex with me and has not for more than 10 years. It is something we have talked about many, many times but nothing ever changes. She doesn't want to divorce me and I...
A. 27 July 2014: My advice would be don't do it! Having sex with someone you don't even know or like is just counter to anything 'normal' in life. ou stand a chance of picking up a disease and you will fell stupid and dirty afterwords. It's pretty much the same as ... (read in full...)
Do I accept that my boyfriend looks at girls on the internet?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. He treats me very well and is the love of my life. We already mention and know about being together forever. I know I am in the wrong for looking at his history in his phone. From time...
A. 25 July 2014: You don't havto do anything! If he's onn look at porn, he'sgonna look t porn..ut what you o or don't do is not dependant onhim or his needs. Two seerate peole living seperate worlds no eed to fretver it just chill.... (read in full...)
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