A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. I have started dating a guy, been a few weeks now. We get on so well, chatting, going out, staying in, chemistry is great. But there is one problem who potential problem. He hasn't been able to make me orgasm yet. I do not think he is selfish, in fact I think he is quite willing to learn but I do sense a reluctance to give me oral regularly (This for me is very important as is pretty much the only way I can oragasm). We haven't slept together much at all, he tried oral on me before but it wasn't quite what I liked even after I told him how I like it. His attention span seems quite limited. I need a lot of time on me. Not all the time, as I am more then happy to go without and for him to be happy. Anyway, my question is, how do I delicately put it to him and encourage him to want to please me in bed? He is great in all other ways. There is a slight issue of him being able to rise to the occasion too from time to time. But I do not put pressure on him there. I do not want to be comparing him to my ex who used to spend a lot of time giving me pleasure, using fingers etc. Where as I sense this guy is not really going to be into all that. Maybe it is too early to say but am a little concerned.
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male
reader, Dave_inFl  +, writes (19 September 2014):
I agree it is a great thing for a man to know he is satisfying his girl. If it was to me, you could raise the issue by saying something like "Honey, there is something I would like to tell you about me.....oral sex is really the only way that I am ever able to climax....can you try this ... (tell him what you need) ... I can guide you as we are doing ". or words to that effect.
You shouldn't hurt his ego if you make it about you, not him.
Also I would say if he is having rising issues to then I would say the sooner the better or he will think it is related to that.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (16 September 2014):
 Tell him your desires, i'm sure he'll be happy to please you. That is our(men's) biggest desire in the world [to please a woman].
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