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Love my new boyfriend, but in bed, I can't help comparing him to my much-better ex boyfriend!

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 January 2006) 4 Answers - (Newest, 12 December 2006)
A female United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

I recently got a new boyfriend and I'm worried that our sex life wont keep me as satisfied as I was with my ex. Although my new guy is older, he can't last as long and doesn't have a very high sex drive compared to me at all.

I love him so much and don't regret leaving my ex for him. I also don't want to be demanding sex all the time, as this will ruin what we have. Also, his penis is not as big as my ex's is and it doesn't really pleasure me as much.

Do you think I'm too demanding on him? Should I give him some space? I just need sex a lot more than him, do you think we can work this out? I've talked to him and he says he'll try harder but it shouldn't be like this should it? I'm just not used to being the one with the highest sex drive and it's driving me crazy!

Please help.

View related questions: my ex, sex drive, sex life

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006):

You are NOT asking for to much. Woman to me seem to be a little bit more sexually active than a man. If you want it, then he should give it to you regardless of nothing! He should be thinking of how to pleasure you and keep you satisfied. Tell him how you want it, and how often you need it. It should be all about satisfying you.

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A male reader, SKYRAIDER_82 +, writes (4 January 2006):

Well you say he is older than you....curious to know how much older, any medical conditions, on medications, smoker, heavy drinker all things that would affect sex drive, but can't help you with the size of his tool. I would recommend telling him the things that turn you on, and maybe you could incorporate some toys. Without more info it is hard to say what his problem is, but he may know he has a small tool, and if I recall from one of my nursing classes 1/3rd that is 33% of men suffer from premature ejaculation. You also say you left your ex for this guy, just wondering why? Didn't you test drive the new car before youtraded in the old one? I know I am a healthy 42 y/o male and I want to have sex all the time. I would be in heaven if I havd a woman who wanted it every day (or trwice a day...wink)

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A female reader, mystify +, writes (4 January 2006):

mystify agony aunti have never found that the size is what counts its what they do with it ,i agree with mumof three ... it can take time in a relationship to learn about each other bodies and what works for each other. and teaching each other is the best bit

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A female reader, mommyofthree +, writes (4 January 2006):

mommyofthree agony auntIn every relationship there will be a partner with a higher sex drive, it doesn't matter if it is the woman or the man. If you feel like you need more sex than you get you have the right to ask for it, in a healthy relationship, each partner feels comfortable expressing their needs, at the same time he has the right to refuse your request. If he said he will try harder then it sounds like he wants to work with you on this to make you happy. If it is technique that he uses that doesn't please you then you need to guide him by telling him what you like. Your ex may have been more able to please you but he was used to what you wanted, this guy is probably used to whatever his last girlfriend wanted, you need to work together to reach a satisfaction for you both. I know it seems like most people wouldn't have to do this, but in good relationships, this is exactly what they do. It is a lot to expect a man to just hop on top of you and know what it takes to get you off, while it may happen some of the time the best pleasure comes when he knows what you like and feels comfortable trying new things. Give him a chance, and as long as you compare him to your ex you will forever finds ways that he doesn't measure up, it is a habit you need to stop now if you want this relationship to go any where. Good luck.

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