Herpes. How do I tell my volatire partner? Should I avoid a big fight and not tell, or take a risk??? please help!!
Q. Hello everyone, Im a 28 yr old female. I just took standard blood work because im in the health field and a routine gyn pap, every thing came out normal. I got a letter about about my bloodwork. I called the office and found out I have Herp...
A. 27 May 2013: I have to cosign with Daisy all the way here.
Herpes is actually super common - like so common that more people carry the infection than don't, and a good number of people who have it don't know (and may never know) that they have it. So, if your ... (read in full...)
My gf is never interested in sex and I am starting to miss my ex. How should I deal with this?
Q. My girlfriend seems to never be interested in sex. We've been together for eight months now and only had sex TWICE, two months ago. It's getting to the point where I can't handle the frustration anymore. I take her out, I buy her gifts, flowers, ...
A. 27 May 2013: I'm not sure how this is even a question. You already said that you told your current girlfriend that no sex is a deal-breaker, and you and your ex have already started seeing each other again.
Why are you dilly-dallying? Break up with your cur... (read in full...)
Why do guys pay flirty, promiscuous girls so much attention?
Q. Do guys usually like the flirty and promiscuous type of girls? I need some advice because I hate to say I'm a little jealous of this girl I know who gets so much attention from my guy friends and just a lot of guys in general. She sleeps around wi...
A. 23 May 2013: I think this is the female equivalent of the cliche guy question, "why do girls only like jerks?"
You already know half the answer, the part about men enjoying the prospect of sex.
But the other part of the answer (the part of the answer that'... (read in full...)
My fiance says that if I gain weight, he won't make love to me in the same way! How should I respond?
Q. My fiance has told me he hates fat women. He thinks they are disgusting and have no self control. His mother is heavy and he points to her for his reasoning. He told me, while making love to me, that if I ever gain weight, that he will not make...
A. 23 May 2013: I'm assuming that you love the guy if he's your fiance. If you're okay with maintaining your small frame, then that's all there is to it - stay with him. There are plenty of 55+ women who are able to stay petite as they age. If his request both... (read in full...)
Dealing with casually racist people?
Q. I go to a top British university where there are quite a lot of upper/middle-class white people from the South. Obviously, I don't have a problem with this. I'm half Asian, however, and because of this I don't look like I'm from any particular ...
A. 13 May 2013: I understand where you're coming from. As a young, black female in the United States who happens to come from an upper-class family, I've had to put up with my fair share of prejudices and ignorance. Much like you, it tends to be more casual (lik... (read in full...)
Am I too feminine to be a good boyfriend?
Q. since I have been really young, I've identified much better with females. My closest friends even in elementary school were all girls. I was hanging out with girls and enjoying their company at the same time most other boys were in the "cooties" ...
A. 13 May 2013: The description here doesn't sound like an issue of femininity. Needy and feminine are not the same thing. Emotional and feminine are not the same thing either.
I'm curious about your background. You don't have to answer this question here, bu... (read in full...)
Why does someone leave a good marriage, or relationship for someone yonger?
Q. i need help understanding something. why does someone leave a good marriage, or relationship for someone yonger? and i dont mean just a few year either. im talking 20 years or more. and why would anyone want someone that much older? i have read all ...
A. 30 April 2013: Why does someone leave a good marriage? They don't. We as individuals assign our own personal prices to things in life. For instance, I would never dish out $500 for a smartphone because no phone is worth that much money to me. My best guy frie... (read in full...)
I found links to live cam shows on his computer! How would you feel about that?
Q. Alright. I've just returned from being out of town for two weeks. In the time that I was gone my boyfriend accidently broke my computer, so I've been using his laptop. Anyway, I know it's sort of an invasion of privacy, but when I typed into the...
A. 30 April 2013: The third answerer made a great point to consider. It's true that by visiting some websites, usually shady ones or porn ones, those web cam advertisements will pop up as separate windows which create a space in the browser's history.
Anywa... (read in full...)
Need help dealing with my 14 year old!
Q. I need help on something...My husband passed away about 4 1/2 years ago, and I was left with 3 young children (9, 6 and 5). I ended up, out of fear of being alone, dating really fast. I got into a 3 year relationship that was not good. He was ...
A. 23 April 2013: There a few things at play here:
1) She's (understandably) hesitant to meet a man you're dating after the last guy was such a dud.
2) You might be ready to fill the void that your husband's death left, but maybe she isn't. He was your lover, ... (read in full...)
I don't want to raise another child alone. I don't think this relationship will last. Should I have an abortion?
Q. Hello all, I need some major advice. I am 29 and a decent paying job. I have a 12 year old that I have raised by myself. I am currently 13 weeks pregnant and fully comitted for about 3 years. This would be his first child. His job is not that gre...
A. 17 April 2013: I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum from Sageoldguy1465. I think that if you are not wanting this baby enough to be considering abortion, you may very well be doing yourself and this unborn child a favor by terminating the pregnancy. There's ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my girlfriend I got 2 drunken pecks on the cheek? Or let it go?
Q. Hello All, Quick overview on the situation: I have been dating this woman, whom I love deeply, for about 6 months now. We live about a short distance apart and I shortly plan to propose to her. She is definitely the one for me. I couldn't imagine...
A. 17 April 2013: Olderthandirt gave you the best advice.
I personally don't think it's worth mentioning. I feel like the hurt that your honesty may cause will be more trouble than those drunken pecks were worth. Is it actually possible for you to just let it go? I... (read in full...)
I don't see how my parents can accept that I'm really a girl
Q. Ever since I can remember, I've known I was a girl. I've always felt alienated when it came to sports in school,for example,the guys did football and rugby,but I always wanted to play hockey and netball with the girls, and wear their cute sports ...
A. 17 April 2013: The best you can do is become financially independent. I know that we live in a culture that values being up front with everybody about everything, but that just isn't practical sometimes. Here's my advice based off the life of my two trans friend... (read in full...)
Are there danger signs in this relationship or am I just insecure?
Q. I have a boyfriend I love very much. He understands me more than anyone I've ever met and loves me for who I am, even my bad qualities. I care about him so much and can't keep him off my mind, which is something I definitely never thought I'd ever ...
A. 16 April 2013: Sounds like you're an insecure person, not an insecure girlfriend. Why else would you feel so compelled to stay with someone with such terrible character?
Until you mentioned this guys mom, I felt like you were talking about MY ex-boyfr... (read in full...)
Gave my GF herpes, She now wants nothing to do with me!
Q. okay last October, i met a female photographer (39y.o) at a venue while i was out by myself supporting a friends band. I was married at the time and was at the venue to see my friends band and also take photo's of the band as i had begun a new ...
A. 16 April 2013: Okay, I'm not going to attack you like some of the responses have (although, make no mistake, what you did is reprehensible and you better thank the heavens that I'm not ruler of the world because I'd make what you did punishable by law). No, ... (read in full...)
No Sex till after marriage this is my value
Q. I'm at university and I've decided I don't want to have sex before marriage, as I don't want to sleep with someone who isn't fully committed to me. I feel very strongly about this and I don't think I'd like to change it. I'm definitely not asexual ...
A. 16 April 2013: That's totally possible. I met a few people in relationships who shared your ideals in university.
"Realistically, am I limited to only dating fellow Christian guys?"
The people who I mentioned before were all religious, and were matched wit... (read in full...)
My Crush always has a hard on around me and does nothing to hide it.
Q. I've noticed that my crush tends to have a hard on when we hang out and he stands in my face and it becomes very obvious to me that he has a hard on. I don't look at it cause I know is there. Is almost as if he wants me to know he has an erection. ...
A. 15 April 2013: That is too, too funny. And some of these answers are even funnier. Anyway, is he playing around when he does that? Like, are the two of you flirting? Assuming that he does indeed have a boner and isn't just wearing faux-boner pants, his be... (read in full...)
Confused: why did she start acting weird after I told her I am the same age as her and not younger?
Q. Hello Cupid well, I am in an awkward situation. I met a girl the other day at a cafeteria and as she was passing by, I stopped her and exchanged greetings so I could ask a bit about the place. The conversation went on and I asked her to sit with ...
A. 15 April 2013: I understand your confusion. It's a little strange that this girl would be so willing to engage a stranger who's younger than her and a male. I mean, if a random guy who I thought was a teenager asked me for my number after a short chat in a ... (read in full...)
Was it wrong for this person to slip their friend a sleeping pill, passing it off as herbal medication?
Q. Hi Everyone, I was recently hanging out with an old acquaintance and we were chatting about dates we'd had with other people. This guy then proceeds to tell me that he and a friend were hanging out at his house and he wanted to go to sleep and hav...
A. 15 April 2013: Here in the US your old acquaintance could get arrested for pulling something like that.
Yes, it was super wrong! It was wrong because the victim was unaware of what they were consuming, which means that they didn't have the proper informat... (read in full...)
Depressed. Have even lost the urge to sleep with hookers. And I like this girl's who's unavailable. What can I do?
Q. I've been sleeping with hookers on a weekly basis since I was 21. However, things have changed recently. However, recently, , I've just lost the urge to do it anymore. To make matters worse, I'm afraid that it might have something do with the fact...
A. 14 April 2013: When you're suffering from depression, you lose the desire to do things that you once found pleasurable. That's literally one of the several symptoms of depression that you can find listed at any credible medical source. The only thing you can do... (read in full...)
Why do girls like guys with attitude? Why can't they admit they don't like swet guys?
Q. I’m in a relationship with my current girlfriend for the last 14 months. Before that, I was in relationship twice : for two years and one year respectively and I was dumped because I was too sweet and loveable boyfriend. Before entered into...
A. 14 April 2013: It's more likely that you're just with a woman with low self-esteem who is comfortable being submissive to someone who treats her like far less than she's worth.
Please don't generalize what all women like based on your three relation... (read in full...)
He's still with his girlfriend, so why is he still seeing me? Does he like me?
Q. I was seeing a guy about 3 years ago and we never broke it off In bad terms we just fell apart .. So he ended up with someone and i was really happy for him so last year i messaged him and we spoke about the past and he asked if he could come ove...
A. 14 April 2013: YouWish hit the nail on the head.
No, he doesn't like you. He likes having an extra vagina on call, but that's about it. If he sincerely liked you, he wouldn't be with his girlfriend.
Why lower yourself to the level where you're some dude... (read in full...)
Is he commitment phobic? He told me he loves me but then destroyed my trust in him. What's his problem?
Q. Hi, Would like some thoughts on the following... Dated a guy for two years and for the last seven months we have been going through a rough patch about living together. We arranged to sell our houses and live together. I sold mine first and ...
A. 14 April 2013: I think this guy may have legitimately believed that he loved you but is just the profoundly flaky, selfish, inconsiderate, and indecisive type.
Good riddance to him. And good luck to you in finding a better partner.... (read in full...)
I want to call her so bad but it's been 2 weeks :( What if she's fallen out of love with me?
Q. Hi everyone, I’m in really hard situation. My girlfriend and I broke up 2 weeks ago, and it’s hard to say who really ended it; it was as mutual as it gets but it was over text messaging. We have been fighting a lot and I think at that time we had...
A. 14 April 2013: "Please don’t give me answers saying she’s a jealous crazy person and you’re better off." Why ask for advice if you don't want to hear an honest answer? I'll censor the part of my answer where I give you all the completely logical reasons that ... (read in full...)
No reply from the one I love. what does that mean?
Q. I met a American guy online three weeks ago. He is in his late 40s. I am falling in love with him .... We talked online and it seems go well. He needs to work on shift schedule, and i work only during day time. So, we do not talk every day because...
A. 13 April 2013: I think all the previous posters have said everything you need to hear already.
You've never seen this guy in person, correct? And you've only been talking to him for less than a month? That's not love. And sadly, typing or saying words to a per... (read in full...)
He has been texting my ex pretending to be me
Q. A year into our relationship, My boyfriend found out I was seeing someone when we first started dating. I had been seeing this other person for a year and although I liked him he didnt want a relationship. we were more like FWB , i stopped seeing ...
A. 13 April 2013: He's been seething and depressed for eight months over the fact that it took you two dates with him to end your relationship with the other guy? Wow, dude is definitely overreacting. His own insecurities are turning him into a jealous and poss... (read in full...)
My unemployed boyfriend has HIV, but I still love him
Q. Hi 3 years ago my boyfriend told me he had HIV. I respected him and we went to the clinic and used condoms. His HIV was well under control. We've had some wonderful sex, however he kept it secret, and fell out with me for no apparent reason ...
A. 12 April 2013: Here's a friendly piece of advice that I think you desperately need to hear: YOU CAN DO BETTER.
Seriously, you can do way, way better than this guy. I don't even need to know you to know that you can do way, way better than this guy. And in addit... (read in full...)
"To go or not to go" that is my question?
Q. I've always gotten solid reliable from you guys, I expect nothing less. I work in a very small office..38-43 folks. I'm mid 50s, blessed with good genes, high metabolism, very active, bikes to work everyday rain, shine, snow, etc., you get the pict...
A. 12 April 2013: Are you still crushing on the young woman? Honestly, I don't see the point of going. If everyone else in the office goes, then it'd be awkward for you not to go. Otherwise, why go someplace that you're not wanted? The young woman is moving on to ... (read in full...)
How to win a girl to be yours forever
Q. Im a boy aged 19.the three past years.i fall in deep love with a certain beatifull girl.we have been together and still loving each until today.the way i love this girl is incotrolable because i have passed a lot of problems which might end up our ...
A. 12 April 2013: Cerberus, as always, said it best.
There is no definitive way to make someone yours forever. Perhaps the dynamic of coupling is different in your culture, but here in the USA I'd say that the longest lasting (and healthy) relationships are thos... (read in full...)
My gf broke up with me but I know she loved me
Q. My relationship has just ended, i met my girl late feb 2012, seen her for the following 6 weeks then made it official in early april 2012, im 26 now but 25 at the time she was only 17, she was obsessed with me , very clingy always wanted to stay...
A. 10 April 2013: I want to say that it sounds like you were perhaps taking her for granted while the two of you were together, but the fact of the matter is that she's 17/18. Love to her is what infatuation is to anyone older.
Give her the space she's asked fo... (read in full...)
I'm insulted that my ex said our time together was "nice"!
Q. My ex just said our time together was "nice" and I feel kind of insulted. I felt like replying, "and your love-making, sir, was perfectly adequate," but I'm just not that quick on my feet. Now that I've been downgraded, I can't stop thinkin...
A. 10 April 2013: Listen to your gut on this one. He's your EX, for goodness sake! Why in the world would you expect him to be throwing compliments at you?
"Any advice for someone who needs to regain a little confidence for her next romantic adventure?"
I hope ... (read in full...)
B/f says if I leave the country he'll break up with me
Q. my boyfriend of 5 years wants us to get married within a few months. I will be leaving the country in the next few months also but he told me that if i leave he will break up with me. I have been waiting for this opporunity to go overseas for a ...
A. 10 April 2013: Despite what his childish threats may lead you to believe, your boyfriend is replaceable. The experience of traveling overseas may not be.
Choose the traveling opportunity.... (read in full...)
Confession of my casual fling with an older woman to my new girlfriend?
Q. hi im 21 male. i recently had moved to another city for 3 months for exam coaching purpose. the thing is i was in a casual relationship with a neighbour women. she is 25. it was just sex oriented. then i moved back to my hometown, now I am in a ...
A. 10 April 2013: Do you normally tell girlfriends about your past relationships? Or is this your first girlfriend? Is there perhaps a concern about STDs? Or did you mean to say that you cheated on your girlfriend with the fling? As the question is written, it does... (read in full...)
A competitive friend but I just want friendship, Should I ditch the friend?
Q. I have been having some issues with my best friend, whom I have known since I was five years old. When we were younger, we got along amazingly well and swore we'd never be apart. Then we went to different high schools, but stayed in contact throu...
A. 10 April 2013: Yeah, I personally would ditch her. But you seem to genuinely like this person and you've known each other for awhile, so I'd go ahead and call her out on her behavior. I was in the same situation a few years ago, except that I was the compe... (read in full...)
If she was so disgusted why didn't she make him wear a condom?
Q. this is a similar problem to what many other guys posted about being obsessed with their wives past sex lives. but this is a little different. she was married to this selfish loser for twenty years, had two kids by him.was a virgin she discovered ...
A. 10 April 2013: Maybe it's retroactive disgust. That happens a lot when it comes to exes.
You need to stop worrying about all that, though. Do whatever you need to boost your ego so that you're not so insecure about the men in your woman's past. If that means th... (read in full...)
My boyfriend will not stop doing weed. What can I do? I don't know what to do about his actions any more
Q. Hi Everyone, I would love some help right now please. I have been with my boyfriend for over 6 months and we have always been happy, things are almost perfect. When we argue, it is all about the weed. When we started going out he only smoked...
A. 9 April 2013: 'If this won't change then i will leave but I am going to stand up for something I don't like.' Then leave now. He can fix his problems on his own. By staying in the relationship and stating that you plan to remain firm that he quit smoking, yo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend will not stop doing weed. What can I do? I don't know what to do about his actions any more
Q. Hi Everyone, I would love some help right now please. I have been with my boyfriend for over 6 months and we have always been happy, things are almost perfect. When we argue, it is all about the weed. When we started going out he only smoked...
A. 8 April 2013: I agree with him. If you don't like it, your best move is to leave.
Maybe he has an addiction. I've never really thought of marijuana as an addictive drug. For most people it's enjoyed like alcohol, as a purely recreational good-time activity... (read in full...)
My mom is sleeping with a guy my age!
Q. My Mom is Sleeping with a Guy My Age. Advice? My mom is 45 and she's sleeping with a 21 year old guy I knew while growing up. I'm her only son (only child) and I'm 20. I don't think this is right, or appropriate at all. I think she should act h...
A. 8 April 2013: I can see how that would be uncomfortable for you, but all you can do is look the other way.
Your mother deserves satisfaction just as much as everyone else. If this is how she's getting that satisfaction for now, then there isn't much you can ... (read in full...)
She's the Gf of a guy who is the best friend of my Bf. What should I about the continual rudeness of this girl towards me?
Q. Hello all. Well, I'm really quite down tonight because for a while now I have been dealing with a huge problem. Some of you may think it's silly but it's something that has really been bothering me so I would like to get some advice. The proble...
A. 8 April 2013: Tell your boyfriend what you just told us. If he's worth anything, he'll take your feelings seriously by protecting you from this girl as well as separating himself from her. And if the best friend is worth anything, he'll completely understand.
... (read in full...)
Should I experience my husband's friend?
Q. Any suggestions? I am 40 and have been married for 18 years and my husband has been my only sexual partner. Our sex life has had its ups and downs. Currently I have more sexual energy than my husband. This wasn't the case before, he wanted someth...
A. 8 April 2013: So, first your husband was excited by the idea, then he said it was up to you, and now he's a bit concerned that you'll fall for the other guy? Sounds like he's beginning to have his doubts. I can't stress my motto here enough: when in doubt, just ... (read in full...)
Is sleeping with your housemate really such a bad idea??
Q. I have been living with a couple of girl room mates or should i say house mates as we do not share the same rooms for a while now. I initially found nothing attractive about them but recently, one of them has been catching my eyes and attentions. ...
A. 8 April 2013: I'd say not to move forward, but I get the impression that you're here looking for validation. I wouldn't be against it if there weren't other housemates, but I feel like you getting dirty with this girl will create an uncomfortable si... (read in full...)
My teenage son wears my women's underwear, what should I do?
Q. My son (16) steals my unders and we talked but I have not talked or to my husband about him putting things in his hind end while he does this. That bothers me so should I worry? It's been a lot of house hold items I unfortunately have picked up to ...
A. 8 April 2013: Maybe he's belatedly going through his oedipal stage? Or perhaps he has some sort of fetish?
Talk to your husband, and then the two of you should have a conversation together with your son. Obviously, you can't expect your son to divulge all the ... (read in full...)
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