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He's still with his girlfriend, so why is he still seeing me? Does he like me?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Dating, Sex, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 April 2013) 8 Answers - (Newest, 14 April 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I was seeing a guy about 3 years ago and we never broke it off In bad terms we just fell apart ..

So he ended up with someone and i was really happy for him so last year i messaged him and we spoke about the past and he asked if he could come over.

So I said yes and we had sex now this has been happening quite a lot.

He's still with his girlfriend so my questions are why is he still seeing me?

Do you think he likes me?

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (14 April 2013):

chigirl agony auntNo, he doesn't like you. In fact he cares very little for you, and is just using you for sex. It is quite obvious.

Look, you need to open your eyes if you aren't already seeing this for what it is. If you care about him and have feelings for him then stop seeing him. If all you also want is sex, then I guess you can go ahead, but it is still a bad idea to get involved with him as he's got a girlfriend. What if you end up pregnant. What if she gets an STD because she also cheats, and then you catch it.. It's just too risky. Besides, the man is a creep and a cheat.

To him you're nothing but an easy fix for sex and a place to rest his penis. If you doubt me, then try to spend one evening with him just talking. See if he can keep his hands off you, or if he'll try to have sex with you.

When he called you and asked to come over it was a booty call, nothing else. I hope you realize this, and don't build up any naive expectations.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 April 2013):

Honeypie agony auntWhy are YOU still seeing him?

Why are you settling for being second best? Obviously if he REALLY gave a damn about you he wouldn't have a GIRLFRIEND too, now would he?

I think he sees you as an easy lay. Someone nice to keep around for sex and to stroke his ego, nothing more.

Sorry.

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A female reader, MsSadie United States +, writes (14 April 2013):

MsSadie agony auntYouWish hit the nail on the head.

No, he doesn't like you. He likes having an extra vagina on call, but that's about it. If he sincerely liked you, he wouldn't be with his girlfriend.

Why lower yourself to the level where you're some dude's piece on the side? And not just any guy, but an ex? When that happens the guy is making it as clear as day that you've been downgraded from girlfriend (re: girl worth loving and making an effort for) to side-piece (re: easy, desperate lay).

I want to believe that you're better than that. Have some respect for yourself and your ex's girlfriend.

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A female reader, ThinkingOverdrive United Kingdom +, writes (14 April 2013):

Any guy who cheats on his girlfriend with you, on the minor chance that he leaves her for you, will just do the same thing to you.

Stop sleeping with him, he doesn't like you in that way - you're just an easy way for him to have sex. Cut contact; get some self respect. Hopefully his girlfriend finds out soon and dumps his sorry arse as well.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (14 April 2013):

CindyCares agony auntHe likes having sex with you and he likes your availability : no fuss, no pressures, no demands. Just a cozy, convenient bit on the side for the sake of variety, after which he can go back home to his real gf . For guys like him, eating his cake and keeping it too feels very good .

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (14 April 2013):

YouWish agony auntYou're not asking the right question here.

The real question is - What kind of man is he to cheat on his girlfriend with an ex?

The next question is - Why did you go to bed with a guy who has a girlfriend?

Both questions should have made him distasteful to you. He's using you, cheating on his girlfriend and betraying her. He's a dog, and you just got used.

Never date a cheater, because he'll cheat on you. You already helped him cheat. Offering yourself up for sex "quite a lot"? Gross! What if you were his girlfriend and he was sleeping with someone else on the side?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2013):

I don't think he likes you in any other way but for sex and a place to escape his relationship if he liked you in that way he would have left his girlfriend for you.

Why are you happy to sleep with someone who has a boyfriend!

You are better than that, go find a single guy who can be with you a 100%

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (14 April 2013):

Aunty BimBim agony auntHe likes you enough to have sex with you. That is all. You contacted him, he came over to your place, you had sex, and have had sex since. That's all you are, a convenient place for him to stick his penis.

If you are happy with this seemingly one sided arrangement well and good, if you are expecting to have a more fulfilling role in your life, dump his sorry arse and give yourself a good whup up the side of the head.

There is nothing good in your future here, just sex and a little further down the line his girlfriend is going to find out, and he will blame you because you initiated it.

Your future is in your hands, your actions from here on in will determine how good it will be for you, or not.

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