A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been having some issues with my best friend, whom I have known since I was five years old.When we were younger, we got along amazingly well and swore we'd never be apart. Then we went to different high schools, but stayed in contact through dedicated emailing.We are now in university, but I don't understand the way she treats me. I have avoided her for some time, because I always feel inferior in her presence. This is because whenever we hang out, she is constantly checking her watch, correcting me, asking why I haven't accomplished certain things yet, and talking about how busy she is and how hard she studies. She also manages to talk about her high marks,I am not a competitive person by any means, and I wish her well in all her success. But I have to wonder at her actions, because of something she told me many years ago. We were in grade school, and she saw the mark on my test was higher then hers. She later told me she resolved to beat me and get twice as high. I was extremely surprised when she said this then, and I still am now. She surpassed me long ago, so why is she still trying?All I want to do is be her friend, my academics are much lower then hers now anyways, there is really no threat. Maybe Im just boring now? I'm not sure what to do. Do I move on? Or do I try again and talk to her about it?
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (10 April 2013):
 She keeps you around to make herself feel good. THAT is not being a friend.
And honestly, you need to enjoy your time at Uni, not feeling like you aren't good enough because of her inferior complex of the past.
I would just focus on YOUR school work, grades and making new friends.
If she asks why you don't seem to want to spend time with her, tell her that it feels more like a competition then a friendship.
I have had friends like that too, but they usually didn't last too long, mainly because I learned that keeping negative people in your life drags you down.
A
female
reader, MsSadie +, writes (10 April 2013):
 Yeah, I personally would ditch her.But you seem to genuinely like this person and you've known each other for awhile, so I'd go ahead and call her out on her behavior.I was in the same situation a few years ago, except that I was the competitive friend. My friend never needed to tell me that I was being an a^^^^le because I eventually got my come-uppance through a series of events in college. Then she was the person with all the success. Rather than gloat about it she supported me through my issues, like any good friend was. Her behavior taught me how to behave and reflect on why I was so competitive in the first place (low self-esteem).Obviously, there's no waiting around for something like what happened to me to happen to your friend. So, you need to tell her to check her attitude. If she's a good friend, she'll realize she needs to work on her insecurities and her behavior. If she doesn't want to change, then she's not worth your time anymore.Best of luck!
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