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... Send *aura585 a private message | | | *aura585's profile:I am 24 year old single mother of two beautiful children. I have a 3 year old daughter and a two year old son. I recently got out of 6 year relationship with a person who treated me in ways no human should ever treat another human being. I have learned a lot and hope to share it to help others. At the same time I have a lot to learn and use this site as a source of insight into other peoples' minds and hearts. I'm always open, so if you want to you can private message me also. :) |
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My husband doesn't give me any money to pay the bills, and I think he's cheating
Q. ok i dont want to bore everybody with my problem i will try to make it short and plain i am british living abroad with partner unmarried with two kids both to him he works away from home long distance driver i only see him once a week for one day ...
A. 1 July 2009: This is called economical abuse, its just as common as physical abuse but less talked about because a lot of people dont realize whats going on. He's keeping you in a situation that you cant get out of, and he's doing it on purpose. I dont ... (read in full...)
How can someone be incapable of loving?
Q. My boyfriend told me that he doesn't want to be with me because he isn't capable of truely loving anyone and doesn't want to hurt me. He also doesn't want to have sex with me because he knows I will end up getting hurt. I think that my boyfriend ...
A. 1 July 2009: It's possible he's just trying to break up with you without being too mean. The famous "it's not you, it's me." It seems to me he doesnt want to be with you, I know you didnt want to hear that. But from the info you gave - he's screaming that loud ... (read in full...)
How can someone be incapable of loving?
Q. My boyfriend told me that he doesn't want to be with me because he isn't capable of truely loving anyone and doesn't want to hurt me. He also doesn't want to have sex with me because he knows I will end up getting hurt. I think that my boyfriend ...
A. 1 July 2009: It's possible he's just trying to break up with you without being too mean. The famous "it's not you, it's me." It seems to me he doesnt want to be with you, I know you didnt want to hear that. But from the info you gave - he's screaming that loud ... (read in full...)
Left with the tattoo, but not him!
Q. My boyfriend and I dated for like about three years, about five months ago, we got matching tattoos. I got his initals and he got mine. We both got it on the back of our neck. Now we are broken up and I am trying to get over it but everytime I ...
A. 1 July 2009: Sorry I misread the question! You guys were together 3 years, not 5- my mistake.... (read in full...)
No love, just sex!
Q. how to tell or show to a girl that you wanna get laid with her? and not fall in love with her? whats next step? etc......
A. 1 July 2009: Well dont tell her you love her. Make it clear that you only want sex- a lot of girls go for the friends with benefits idea. As long as its clear from the get-go then there shouldnt be any confusion. Just be careful because us girls tend to get ... (read in full...)
Confused by his actions and talk!
Q. Hey My boyfriend and i live far apart.We have been in sexual relation.He don't call me daily. If i give missed call , he immediatelly calls back and ask me if i have some problem. But once a week only he calls me late night and talk to me for hour...
A. 1 July 2009: It's called phone sex, and if you are comfortable with it then it's normal. However, if it offends you and you dont want him to do it then tell him to stop, or tell him to call you when he's done, and hang up. As far as the other part - he sounds ... (read in full...)
Left with the tattoo, but not him!
Q. My boyfriend and I dated for like about three years, about five months ago, we got matching tattoos. I got his initals and he got mine. We both got it on the back of our neck. Now we are broken up and I am trying to get over it but everytime I ...
A. 1 July 2009: I have a tattoo on the back of my neck and I never have the problem of seeing it all the time. Maybe you should stop doing the two-mirror thing because thats the only way I can see mine. Your age is 13-15 so being together for 5 years yall started a ... (read in full...)
How do I tell her I'm sorry and really want to trust her?
Q. Ok I have a problem. I am too jealous. This girl I been dating her for almost 6 months. And she has never give me any reason why not to trust her. And I haven't heard notting bad about her, in fact all I have heard its good stuff of her. On this ...
A. 1 July 2009: First of all you shouldn't go thru her phone without permission. That's totally invading her privacy and in the end will make her trust YOU less. You may have been cheated on before but this new girl is not your ex. You have to give her the benefit ... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to my b/f's father -- would it be wierd for me to date him?
Q. I am 19 years old, in college, and I've been in a relationship with a boy I met about 4 months ago. Recently (a month ago) I met his single father and he's really attractive to say the least. We had a discussion while my boyfriend was in the shower ...
A. 1 July 2009: It will damage the relationship between you and your boyfriend. Not only that but there is a huge chance it will damage the relationship between the father and the son. I wouldn't do it if I were you. Maybe if you and your boyfriend break up, wait a ... (read in full...)
I don't know what so say to him...someone please help me..please..this is my last hope..
Q. Okay so im so lost to where all i can do is cry and i never wanna leave my house... so i had just turned fifteen and i used to bowl. Well there was this guy there the night leage had come back around and the minute i saw him i fell head ove...
A. 1 July 2009: Wow girl, thats a tough story and I understand why you feel the way you do. Honestly, in my opinion, you SHOULD NOT contact this guy. If he cared about you none of this would have happened. You can't look for closure from him, he might end up just ... (read in full...)
Free shot: What's wrong with me? Am I a dirty secret?
Q. We met, talked, fell in love - (happens when you're not looking for love). I was 39 (divorced, kids not with me) she was 23. I lived on the other side of the country. Long distance was a pain, but we made it work and saw each other as often as ...
A. 1 July 2009: Aw. She's worrying too much. She's old enough to make her own choices by now, still living at home can make you feel like a child still, tho. She probably thinks everyone will flip out and their heads will catch on fire if they find out she's dating ... (read in full...)
Should I tell this new girl I'm dating I was engaged?
Q. Im going on a date with this girl i really like, and all signs point to her liking me as well, but there is a minor problem, my last realtionship that ended 2months ago i was engaged to marry her. Even though im completely over my ex and want to ...
A. 30 June 2009: Well dont wait too long, then it may seem like you were trying to hide it and she might become suspicious. I wouldnt bring it up on your first few dates either though. Let it come naturally, chances are a conversation about both of your relationship ... (read in full...)
How can I get her to be friends again? I don't want anything serious.
Q. I thought my relationship with my gf was getting too serious so we changed to being non-exclusive, few weeks later I have sex with another girl but realize after that she still thought we were an exclusive couple and we get into a big argument. I ...
A. 30 June 2009: You cant jump from serious relationship to just friends overnight. You are going to have to distance yourself from her, stop contact for a while, or at least cut it back a lot. Maybe the decision to be non-exclusive was more your idea than hers? If ... (read in full...)
How do you start over making friends when you've been isolated in your marriage?
Q. In highschool i was so attached to my boyfiend turned husband that I completely abandoned all of my friends. Now ten years later i find myself without a social life at all. How do you start over again at this late stage in life?...
A. 30 June 2009: For starters a social networking site might help you regain the feel for society, myspace or facebook, etc. Then maybe join a class or a gym, even aerobics! Do you work? Get more involved with your co-workers! Do you have siblings? Maybe you and ... (read in full...)
Should I have a lesbian affair?
Q. I am a married, female, 40 years old with children. I've known I was gay since college, but have always hid it and have never been with a woman before. I recently met a woman who is also in a relationship with another man. I am almost positive ...
A. 30 June 2009: I would never condone cheating. BUT you are a lesbian married to a man. "Coming out" would probably wreak havoc on your husband and childrens lives, you are right when u say 1 life to live. You are basically living a lie, but at least you are not ... (read in full...)
If I go back to him I'd feel like I was prisoner of my dreams again
Q. Ok, please help me find some kind of relief from this. I am beyond stressed right now. About a week ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of five years. I felt it was the best thing for me to do because I had issues with him not being able to co...
A. 30 June 2009: Be strong, you know deep down in your heart that you made the right choice. When you start second guessing your intuition the choices you make are not what you really want. I know your ex is hurting and so are you, its hard to be the "bad guy" but ... (read in full...)
If I go back to him I'd feel like I was prisoner of my dreams again
Q. Ok, please help me find some kind of relief from this. I am beyond stressed right now. About a week ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of five years. I felt it was the best thing for me to do because I had issues with him not being able to co...
A. 30 June 2009: Be strong, you know deep down in your heart that you made the right choice. When you start second guessing your intuition the choices you make are not what you really want. I know your ex is hurting and so are you, its hard to be the "bad guy" but ... (read in full...)
Does the amount of partners or sex change the vagina's appearance?
Q. I just have a question I have been curious about. I have been with one girl who has been with 5 other partners. I was wondering does a number of partners or amount of sex a girl has change the appearance of the vagina? Example... if you were to ...
A. 30 June 2009: Well pornstars have been with many many people and some of them use toys or in one case a football (haha) and I imagine that something like that definately would change the appearance. Vaginas, however, do come in "different shapes and sizes" just ... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble managing my income with 4 kids! Any suggestions?
Q. I have 4 kids and no help!!! I was praying one day that the father of my two little ones would just leave me alone, he has had a drug problem for the entire 7 years and has ruined my life we have been together, finally I came home one day and he w...
A. 30 June 2009: Well its good that you are going to school. Both of my kids are too young for school so I'd have to wait before I can do anything like that. I know how unreasonably expensive daycare is for 2 so I know it must be ridiculous for 4! I think if you ... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble managing my income with 4 kids! Any suggestions?
Q. I have 4 kids and no help!!! I was praying one day that the father of my two little ones would just leave me alone, he has had a drug problem for the entire 7 years and has ruined my life we have been together, finally I came home one day and he w...
A. 29 June 2009: Ah the life of a single mother. Dont you love it? You get stuck in positions where the way out seems practically impossible. I too am on section 8 have 2 kids and work only weekends. Everyone says "get a better job" but me and you both know it would ... (read in full...)
I still love him, need advice on how to move on!
Q. I broke up with my abusive ex-bf 6 months ago exactly and I am worried that I am still thinking about him far too much. I have sought so much advice and tried to get on with life and have fun being single, but he is still in my head. Just to f...
A. 29 June 2009: Hey how funny. I'm in the same boat as you. Me and my ex-abusive boyfriend broke up about 6 months ago as well. I havent completely erased him from my mind either, we have two kids together so I do have to see him more often than I'd like to. Anyway ... (read in full...)
I'm soon to be married but met someone online and now I'm confused!
Q. I am soon to be married to my boyfriend of 4 years. Things are great between us that's why we decided that it's time to take our relationship to the next level. He's a seaman and although our times together are limited, he makes sure to call me 1-3 ...
A. 28 June 2009: Maybe your boyfriend is not the one you want? I only say this because if he was everything you wanted and more you would have had no urge to meet people online. Maybe you're just getting cold feet about marriage. I cant answer this question, only ... (read in full...)
My ex the baby daddy, a friend and my current boyfriend.....
Q. Hi cupid i recently went on a kinda date with this guy, and his personality attracted me, my little boy came along with us, well it all went well i loved the way he respected me , thing is his 46 and i'm only 27, what if he bores me or so on i've ...
A. 28 June 2009: Thats not a question anyone can answer but you. When you've slept with someone before and had a relationship with them before and then u break up- its easier to cheat on a new lover with your ex. It's someone you are already used to. Whether you ... (read in full...)
Does anybody know what it's like to not have any light at the end of the tunnel?
Q. I'm so not a computer person, and I've probably only been on one other chat room in my life, I'm so lost - everthing is just such a mess. I've been tech married for 18 yrs. my husb is bipolar depressive and well maintained on meds - but has also ...
A. 28 June 2009: Leaving a comfort zone you've lived in for 18 years will be difficult. There is ALWAYS light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes it's just very dim, you have to break down barriers before you can see it clearly. The hardest part about all of it is ... (read in full...)
We've tried everything we can think of, but I just can't get pregnant!
Q. hi guys , i have been married for 2 years and trying to concieve for 1 year and half but no luck . we have tried different positions . but i want to know whats the best position for getting pregnant ? and can i still get pregnant if i'm on top or...
A. 28 June 2009: I think yall should keep trying. Give it sometime and quit stressing about it so much if in a year or so there is still no luck then maybe start thinking about it. Thats what i would do anyway.... (read in full...)
It feels like her love for me is fading, is there anyway I can restore it?
Q. Hi...I have a situation that I don't know how to turn it around. I'm currently in a long distance relationship. I'm in a different country then my girl. I have been away from her for close to 7 months now. We would video chat almost everyday ...
A. 27 June 2009: It's possible that she's just adjusted to life without you around, it doesnt mean she loves you any less - just that shes accepted the fact that you are not there and no matter how many times she tells u she misses you, you are still not there. The ... (read in full...)
Am I naive for believing my ex isn't just after sex? are all guys only after one thing?
Q. How do guys think? What am I not getting? I have recently been in contact with a sort-of ex (unofficial relationship) and he wants to meet up to 'discuss things'. My friend, when I told him, was angry at this. According to him, all my ex wants ...
A. 27 June 2009: Well in your age group, and mine too these boys seem to be mostly sex-driven. They will do and say anything to get you in bed. Which is why you cant just jump into bed with every guy who smiles pretty and calls you beautiful. If it's too easy they ... (read in full...)
Want to join a gym but I'm shy and self conscious, advice needed on how to overcome this!
Q. Dear Cupid, i've really been considering going to the gym to better my health, but the problem is that i'm pretty shy/self-conscious and i worry that if i do end up going to the gym, that people will be staring at me while working out, even tho...
A. 27 June 2009: Well I've never had that problem in particular but I was also very shy and self-concious. Lately I have been working to overcome these feelings. (Some of this will sound cheesy but u will be surprised at how much it improves!) say to yourself "I ... (read in full...)
I feel stifled, cheated on my g/f of 10 years
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together just over 10 years. Last year I did what I shouldn't and had an affair. The affair has ended now but I still have feelings for the woman I was seeing. I am back with my girlfriend and still feel confussed. My ...
A. 27 June 2009: It's better for you to leave her high and dry and hurt because of the truth, then to drag her in the dirt because of a lie. Does she know about the affair? If so thats probably the reason for her insults. You hurt her, she wants to hurt you back. I... (read in full...)
My roommate's b/f is racist, but I can't afford to move
Q. My best friend/roommate has been dating this guy for a little over three months. The problem is, I hate this guy. I've met him once, and he said some racist shit to me (I'm black, he's white). It wasn't just one comment either, it was quite a f...
A. 27 June 2009: WOW. That would be super frustrating. Well being civil is the best idea until you can afford to move out. Your friend will be put in an uncomfortable situation if you and her bf have it out everytime he's there. She may start feeling like she has to ... (read in full...)
My world is crashing down on me... he's registered on a sex site but I'm am afraid to break up with him because of my financial situation
Q. I am devastated! My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. We have been having relationship/financial problems for sometime. I just lost my job and cannot maintain household without his income. I am 3 months behind on my ...
A. 26 June 2009: Problem: no money. Solution: get a job. Any job is better than no job at all.... (read in full...)
I can check his Facebook mail..Cant resist the temptation!
Q. Hey To cut it short, my exboyfriends facebook account still logs me in and he definately doesnt know. its really hard not to check his emails!! does anyone have a suggestion for me not too do it? Thanks......
A. 26 June 2009: If it's set on your computer that it logs directly into his account erase all your cache, history, cookies, and temp internet files. If you know the password... Well then you'll have to resist temptation, since he's your ex one day you will see a ... (read in full...)
My ex the baby daddy, a friend and my current boyfriend.....
Q. Hi cupid i recently went on a kinda date with this guy, and his personality attracted me, my little boy came along with us, well it all went well i loved the way he respected me , thing is his 46 and i'm only 27, what if he bores me or so on i've ...
A. 26 June 2009: A lot of info- you got me kind of confused. The 46 yr old is your boyfriend or another guy? Anyway I think you will always have some feeling for your kids' dad. At least I know I will and it seems common among my friends too, but it doesn't mean you ... (read in full...)
HOW do I get rid of this abuser once and for all?
Q. I need help on how to be strong and leave an abuser..An incident occured today where we were having an argument in his car. I was so fed up of hearing him say that he is going to move on and find him a new girl because he asked me a question whether ...
A. 26 June 2009: Getting out of a relationship like that is going to be one of (if not THE) hardest things you will ever do. The worse he is and the longer u 2 have been together the harder it will be. First of all, dont "warn him" dont tell him what your gonna do ... (read in full...)
Dating for a year, but find her less attractive?
Q. Dear People I've been dating a woman for 1 year. I love her very much, and I find her extremely attractive. But recently I feel less sexually motivated and I can't determine why. Its like, I don't feel like it, or when we do it, I feel li...
A. 25 June 2009: Do you fantasise about other women? Is it her in particular that makes you less sexually motivated, or is it just in general? Does she seem less motivated too? Anyway maybe trying new things will get you motivated! Porn, toys, role-play, etc... ... (read in full...)
He fractured my collar bone...is this likely to happen again?
Q. Hi. Well basically i have been with my boyfriend for about 7 months. We're fine, completely, the only problems we've had are his temper. He has a tendency to get extremely agitated and argumentative and often takes stuff out on me (not physical). ...
A. 25 June 2009: He will do it again, it will get worse and worse until he completely disregards you as a human being. It's hard as hell to leave an abusive lover, (more terrifying than anything else) but if you don't now he will manipulate the situation to have you ... (read in full...)
If love were easy everyone would do it...
Q. I need some help sorting out my feelings right now so I'm hoping you will have some insight. Here's the story: I've been dating the same guy since high school, which means that now we've been together for 11 years (and married for the last 1.5 yea...
A. 24 June 2009: You can't change how you feel. This is a tough one and I can't think of anything helpful to say except that I understand your feelings. I don't think it's really the guy himself that your fantasizing about, but more the situation. The thrill of ... (read in full...)
My mom's boyfriend did this to me, what do I do!
Q. Well for starters, this isn't an easy topic to discuss. I've had so much guilt, and frustration built in that I don't think I can do it anymore. My mom's boyfriend has been living with us now for almost 2 years. At first he seemed really cool, an...
A. 24 June 2009: I'm so sorry that this happened to you! But indeed, you HAVE to tell your Mom. I have a daughter myself and I pray all the time that if anything like this ever happens to her that she won't be afraid to tell me. Your mom will have mixed emotions ... (read in full...)
I like her, she has a boyfriend that she never mentions..do I tell her I like her?
Q. Lately, I think I've fallen for this girl in my class at college. We talk all the time, and we even go to the gym after class together sometimes...so we get a bit of alone time to talk each week. The thing is she has a boyfriend who I've only see...
A. 24 June 2009: That's a tough one. I would probably say just stay friends with her. Maybe she feels that you like her and doesn't mention him because she thinks it would bum you out. It's possible that she likes you too but doesn't want to take the step into ... (read in full...)
Are we a good match?
Q. I was born on Oct. 30,1960 I believe in the pm, and he was born feb.14,1960 at 11:35 pm, are we a good match?...
A. 24 June 2009: You can't judge by birth dates!? Do you get along well? Do you have the same intentions as far as the relationship goes? Do YOU think you make a good match? Does he? This isnt an astrological site, it's an advice site, hun. Got another question? We ... (read in full...)
I am really regretting this "open marriage" arrangement!
Q. I'm not sure how to begin. Several years ago, my wife and I agreed to an open-marriage. I'm not happy with it at all and feel neglected, and to be honest, I feel less of a husband. She knows how I feel and even has tried to stop several times, ...
A. 24 June 2009: It's understandable why you agreed to it, seeing that it was something she really wanted. You can't change her, and if she's determined enough she will never stop. So the only question left is do you want to stick around and be miserable or do you ... (read in full...)
We've tried everything we can think of, but I just can't get pregnant!
Q. hi guys , i have been married for 2 years and trying to concieve for 1 year and half but no luck . we have tried different positions . but i want to know whats the best position for getting pregnant ? and can i still get pregnant if i'm on top or...
A. 17 June 2009: Well I know there are a lot of myths about positions determining the sex of the baby and what not but I'm pretty sure the chance of getting pregnant is possible with any position as long as the sperm meets the egg! Afterwards try laying on your back ... (read in full...)
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