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... Send *aura585 a private message | | | *aura585's profile:I am 24 year old single mother of two beautiful children. I have a 3 year old daughter and a two year old son. I recently got out of 6 year relationship with a person who treated me in ways no human should ever treat another human being. I have learned a lot and hope to share it to help others. At the same time I have a lot to learn and use this site as a source of insight into other peoples' minds and hearts. I'm always open, so if you want to you can private message me also. :) |
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My girlfriend is not affectionate!
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for over a year and I don't feel she is affectionate enough now as she was before. (I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT SEX) I have talked to her about this and she feels that it is just her personality. Sometimes i wonder ...
A. 7 July 2009: Oh I realized I just told you my story and didnt offer any advice (sorry!) be patient with your girlfriend - if she says she loves you, and is with you- its more than likely true. If this does become a major problem for you sit down and talk to her ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is not affectionate!
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for over a year and I don't feel she is affectionate enough now as she was before. (I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT SEX) I have talked to her about this and she feels that it is just her personality. Sometimes i wonder ...
A. 7 July 2009: Well I feel like I'm about to give advice to one of my ex's :) I myself am not a very affectionate person- at first, of course, but after a while it just doesnt have as much meaning as it did in the beginning (the affection, not the relationship) ... (read in full...)
Whenever we made plans they didn't work out and now I think she doesn't like me
Q. ok so im really shy around everybody that i dont know well and i really like this girl. we used to talk everyday and we made plans to hang out this one day(im not in town that much) and it didnt work out so we made plans the next day and again it ...
A. 6 July 2009: I have been dealing with being shy my whole life- you have to make a conscious effort to improve - it doesnt have to be a part of who you are. Once you stop labeling yourself as a "shy person" and think of yourself as outgoing, then you start to ... (read in full...)
3 years and now he wants a break!
Q. if your a 3 year relationship and he asks for break should i give him space and how will i know were going to get back together and is it good to be friends?...
A. 6 July 2009: Three years is a long time- ecspecially at your age. Did he say why he wants a break? Or what he's planning on doing with the break? Sometimes people say "we should take a break" but it really just means "i dont want to be with you anymore, but i ... (read in full...)
Sex has no spice!
Q. i am in a gay committed relationship with my boyfriend and he says he loves me but the sex has gotten no taste and just wanted to know how i could spice it up and prevent him from leaving me cuz i am really in love with him for three years and wqant ...
A. 6 July 2009: Well I've never been in a homosexual male relationship lol but I think its safe to assume its just like any other loving long-term relationship :) Try some things you two havent done yet. Maybe for example: roleplay- you can get pretty extravagant ... (read in full...)
I'm not good at figuring out the signs if a guy is interested
Q. I've been dating this guy for about a month after knowing him for a couple of months before that. Before meeting him, it's been a long time since I've done any dating so I'm out of practice at reading any signs and I'm not sure how much he's ...
A. 6 July 2009: Well it sounds to me like he likes you and is just taking it slow? I'm no expert, though. Either way I say as long as you are having a good time and so is he there is no need to label and pinpoint each action. Have fun with it, it could end up being ... (read in full...)
I hurt him, cheated and now want him back
Q. I was in a long distant relationship for 2 years with my bestfriend of 4 years and I cheated on him with my ex-boyfriend. When my fiance finally came home he broke up with me. He says he does not see me the way he once did. We continued to hang out ...
A. 6 July 2009: He will have to find it in his heart to forgive you. He doesnt trust you either, neither would I. Sometimes we make mistakes and actually have to deal with the consequences. Good luck to you both.... (read in full...)
I don't feel like my life is complete and goals seem so out of reach!
Q. im 23 female. ive got a good home lots of pets a bit in debt but working on it. but i just dont feel like my lifes complete and my goals feel so far out of reach with the way things have went finacially in this world before say 8 yrs ago nothing was ...
A. 6 July 2009: There are a lot of self help/motivational books. Some people turn to a religious answer and ask God for guidance. I'm more practical myself, I have recently read "Maximum Acheivement" by Brain Tracy- it really just makes you realize that if you ... (read in full...)
Why is she playing these games why doesn't she just leave with this dude?
Q. By the way im in iraq while all this is happening, I'm 40, my sons mother is 30, my son is 10. we have been togther for 12 years, I do love her. we have been through so much fighting and arguing, anyway last dec I decided to break up because I was ...
A. 5 July 2009: So sorry jayster- for some reason I am unable to reply to private messages- I hope you dont mind me replying on here: Anytime a child is involved the situation gets sticky. Leaving IS an option, "never looking back" isnt because of your son. For ... (read in full...)
I think I upset her, can our friendship be saved?
Q. I met a great girl through unusual circumstances about 18 months ago. We hit it off great and while at times it got a little personal, it pretty much always remained just a friendship. She's a great girl, smart, funny and we have a lot of similar ...
A. 5 July 2009: Maybe use myspace as a starter. Leave a little comment like: "just stopping by to say hi!" or something like that- just lets her know your thinking of her and she will either respond or she wont- I dont know but its a start anyway. ... (read in full...)
I'd love to enjoy performing oral sex, but the past holds me back
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years now, and he really enjoys recieving oral sex. I have sucked him off many times, but it's always a challenge for me. I know where the problem stems from but am having difficulty finding a ...
A. 5 July 2009: Years in therapy is good and it will probably take more. I am so sorry all these things happened to you. Your story made me cry. Remember that it took years and years of this horrible treatment to make you the way you are- so it may take years and ... (read in full...)
Why is she playing these games why doesn't she just leave with this dude?
Q. By the way im in iraq while all this is happening, I'm 40, my sons mother is 30, my son is 10. we have been togther for 12 years, I do love her. we have been through so much fighting and arguing, anyway last dec I decided to break up because I was ...
A. 5 July 2009: She obviously can't make up her mind. Maybe she isnt quite ready to leave behind her 10 years with you for this dude she hasnt known for long, but doesnt want to commit fully to you either? She needs to make a choice, really what she is doing is not ... (read in full...)
My bf said I could have sex with other guys...WHY?
Q. My bf of over a year told me last night that if it ever came up that I wanted to have sex with another person that we would talk about it and it would be okay... I lostmy virginity to him and haven't slept with any other guy .. Does he telling me ...
A. 5 July 2009: Well this is coming from a girl fresh out of an abusive relationship- so if your boyfriend has never showed any signs of abusive/controlling behaivor then totally ignore what I'm going to say. Abusive guys tend to do things like this to "test" you. ... (read in full...)
Overprotective parents and a confusing relationship
Q. I have strict parents who make me scared 2 try 2 begin a relationship, they don't let me go out much, but now its this guy who I have known 4 a year and I want 2 be with him, but he stay an hour away from me, but I'm not sure if he's the 1 for me ...
A. 5 July 2009: Don't give him money at all- then see if he talks to you anymore. If he doesn't then you have your answer.... (read in full...)
Husband wants sex without tending to my needs...?!
Q. This story is so long, but basically the short of it is this: My husband and I have 3 kids, the youngest is 6 months old and co-sleeps. Whenever my husband wants to "get off" he has no problem getting the baby to sleep and in his own bed, but if it ...
A. 5 July 2009: Maybe he is afraid of having a fourth child? Not sure , of course, since I dont know either of you- but I know after my second child when I was still with their father- we didnt have sex as much for that reason- and the fact that he was a complete ... (read in full...)
Can reconstruction take place here?
Q. About a year and a half ago i had a cyst removed from my foreskin below the frenulum. It has healed quite well but i am regretting having it done as i have lost all feeling in my most sensitive part - my frenulum. I don't enjoy masturbation as much ...
A. 5 July 2009: This is something you really need to speak with your doctor about - you can always search medical websites for some information to put your mind at ease until you can see as doctor.... (read in full...)
I miss my teacher very much, he moved to Chicago, what can I do to stop crying?
Q. I miss my favorite teacher. It is summer and I cry at night thinking about him. I always said bye to him after school. I had one dream about him,but I am not gay. He moved to Chicago I always wonder if he is okay. I need help because I feel like I ...
A. 4 July 2009: Was it a sexual dream, or just a dream? Just curious since you added "i am not gay" to the quesiton. All that aside- teachers, ecspecially good ones, leave a great impact in our lives. They are there to teach us, guide us, and love us (as their ... (read in full...)
Do girls prefer the scruffy hair look or the clean cut short hair look, which do they think is sexier?
Q. do girls prefer scruffy hair look, or clean, cut short hair in guys? what is it they find sexy about it? im fairly short (174cm) and oval shaped head, blonde hair.. ...
A. 4 July 2009: All girls are different and like different things and me, I like different things on different guys. This guy may look more attractive with crazy hair as opposed to clean cut, this guy may look better with long hair, and that guy may look better ... (read in full...)
We had a fight over a little game, Is it over?
Q. i'm 22 and my girl is 19. we had a fight few hours ago. it's because of 1 silly thing, a game... she's a moody person, she changed too fast from nice and lovely to nasty and bad. i don't even know if i said bad or wrong words to her. as far as i kno...
A. 4 July 2009: You two only communicate thru typed words? Unless you both are awesome writers, emotion cant be fully expressed with words. Instead of txting and messaging- call her. Then you wont be so confused about what she means or why she says what she says. ... (read in full...)
Irregularities with my period make me worry I might be pregnant after unprotected sex, what should I do?
Q. I had unprotected sex on May 25, 2009 and I got my period expectedly on June 18, 2009. But it wasn't normal; it was very light and all of the blood was brown. Now it is July 3, 2009 and I just got my period again but now my period is normal. I'm ...
A. 4 July 2009: It doesnt sound like you are pregnant since you've had two periods since then- both as scheduled BUT if you have doubts take a pregnancy test. It might also be a wise idea to get checked for STD's some of them can cause discharge that may be mixing ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant, but I don't want him to get in trouble.
Q. I am 15 and I'm pregnant with my boyfriend that is four years older than me i need help i don't want him to go to jail i live in florida he wants to be there for me and the baby and he plans to marry me i love him to death is there anything i can ...
A. 4 July 2009: Well I dont know about Florida laws but- yes, its statutory rape and he would go to prison IF someone reports it. If your parents hate this guy it is a very real possibility they will press charges. Talk with your parents because as long as you are ... (read in full...)
Is her new guy a bandaid or is she playing mindgames with me?
Q. So, my girlfriend and I of two years broke up. the last year we were living together. We got into a fight and she left the house didn't come home that night. first time she ever did that in a fight. everything was going good the weeks before. I ...
A. 4 July 2009: I think she knows what she did was a mistake and she probably really is sorry- but at the same time she is actually into her new guy. I highly doubt she is leaving comments on HIS myspace for the sole purpose of "getting a rise out of you" because ... (read in full...)
I'm a sporty girl who wants to be a bit more feminine but also be one of the guys
Q. I am so confused. I am really sporty and tomboy. I have more guy friends than I have girl friends. I can hang with the guys more easier than I can with most of my girl friends. I am 13 and I wear no makeup. I'm not fat but yet this one guy lets call ...
A. 3 July 2009: I didnt like that comment either- it was basically saying you saying you have to pretend to be "Miss Priss" - that it would be "easier" to get boys if you were feminine, but you are 13- and relationships shouldnt even be your concern right now! You ... (read in full...)
I want to orgasm too, but she finishes before me
Q. Dear Cupid, Ok well i have been with my girlfriend for about a year now, and we have been having sex for about 6 months...my question is that now since we have been having sex a lot more lately, she finishes before i do, and for about like the l...
A. 3 July 2009: Another thing you might try is having her tell you when she is getting close... You are probably able to pretty well control when you can finish- as she's telling you shes reaching climax you do what you need to do and try finishing at the same ... (read in full...)
Does this look like I have an STD?
Q. I have had a tingling feeling in my genital area and legs all week. I have these tiny open sores all on the left side of my vaginal area. I think I may have herpes. I am planning on seeing a doctor but can't until monday due to the holiday. in the ...
A. 3 July 2009: Definately go to the doctor. It's very possible its herpes. You can google pictures of herpes if you are curious, and compare what you have to them.... (read in full...)
There are two girls I like: my 'dream girl' and my girlfriend
Q. I have an interesting question. Well, there was this sexy blonde girl who seems to have taken a like to me and I haven't known her name until yesterday. Here's the weird part about it: I dreamt about her having sex with me, even though I'm happily ...
A. 3 July 2009: Well it could just be the fact that the sexy blonde girl is THERE and your current girlfriend is not. Follow your heart/intuition on this one. I wouldnt leave someone I love for someone who I dont even know. Dreams are not mystical crystal balls ... (read in full...)
My guy is more conservative and this is driving me nuts
Q. my boyfriend and i have been on and off constantly for 2 years now. we keep breaking up because he's not 'touchy'...he wont even hold my hand or kiss me or put his arm around me or anything. we text each other like nonstop and he always tells me ...
A. 3 July 2009: Yes! Next time you two are walking beside eachother grab his hand! I'm sure you will both enjoy at least that much physical affection. You already know he wants to from his texts so you wont be doing anything he is uncomfortable with.... (read in full...)
I'm a sporty girl who wants to be a bit more feminine but also be one of the guys
Q. I am so confused. I am really sporty and tomboy. I have more guy friends than I have girl friends. I can hang with the guys more easier than I can with most of my girl friends. I am 13 and I wear no makeup. I'm not fat but yet this one guy lets call ...
A. 3 July 2009: Well its possible Fred has a crush on you. Adolecent boys have a way of flirting- in all the wrong ways. As far as your fashion- go to the mall (or wherever you shop) find more "girly" things that appeal to you, and get them! I knew a girl like this ... (read in full...)
I want to orgasm too, but she finishes before me
Q. Dear Cupid, Ok well i have been with my girlfriend for about a year now, and we have been having sex for about 6 months...my question is that now since we have been having sex a lot more lately, she finishes before i do, and for about like the l...
A. 3 July 2009: First of all a girl can orgasm multiple times- and for me anyway (I assume for other girls) once the first orgasm is reached others come much easier and so I wouldnt want to stop after just one! Like satindesire said- after she orgasms change ... (read in full...)
He had issues with an exclusive relationship and wanted to play around
Q. We were together for a few months and did everything like a real couple but he wouldnt call himself my boyfriend. He said he thought of us as dating but not in a relationship. I asked him if I was his girlfriend and he started freaking out. He said ...
A. 3 July 2009: Maybe typical commitment issues? He wants all the benefits of a committed relationship but doesnt actually want to say its a committed relationship. I bet if you were seeing other guys he wouldnt like that too much. I dont have a solution for you ... (read in full...)
How do I not fall for verbally abusive ex's guilt trips?
Q. So basically I am just wondering if anyone out there has some tips or ways to not fall for guilt trips? My ex-bf who was verbally abusive "jokingly" he called it, made a promise to change but he has lied about things in the past and I don't th...
A. 3 July 2009: Girl I dont know how to not let it get to you- but I know if you stay it will get worse. About a year or so into my first/only relationship also with a verbally abusive man - we broke up. I started seeing another guy then my ex went crazy (crying ... (read in full...)
Can you teach someone to treat you the way you want to be treated?
Q. Can you teach someone to treat you the way you want to be treated?....Or is that the typical trap we women fall into, thinking a man is going to change for us?....My boyfriend has many great qualities, but doesn't really respect women in general. ...
A. 3 July 2009: 3 years and no improvement? I really dont think one is coming. It's like that joke: how many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one but the lightbulb has to WANT to change. Haha cheesy I know- but you cant change him, only he ... (read in full...)
I don't think he realises that these lies to his mother are starting to erode my trust in him...
Q. I have been with my partner for 2 years. He is in his mid thirties. He is currently working extremely hard to save enough money so that we can move in together. However, there is one problem that I don't know how to approach. When my partne...
A. 3 July 2009: Why not just ask him where he is really going and who he is staying with? You two are about to move in together which is a big deal! Talk it out with him, and if he is partying too much for your comfort its something he needs to work on. You dont ... (read in full...)
Friend is saying stuff behind my back, is this a good friend?
Q. Okay I'm not gonna mention real names so the friend I'm disliking will be "A" and the friend I like will be friend "B" and I'm "M" Okay so I sent my boyfriend a "naughty" picture and I know it was wrong, and illegal, but I don't want to hear tha...
A. 3 July 2009: Wow my head is spinning after a story like that! So glad I'm not in highschool anymore! But no, friends dont go around spreading rumors about each other. If a true friend saw that picture in your outbox she probably would've made a joke about it TO ... (read in full...)
Friends verses lovers...
Q. I met this guy and we became extremely good friends especially since we had so many things in common. He was seeing a girl but it wasn't working out. The girl was jealous because we used to hang out a lot but we were just friends. Eventually we both ...
A. 3 July 2009: I think he is trying to "keep his options open." Apparently she is higher on his priority list than you are, BUT if things don't work out between him and her then he will have you. (I only say that because you said he is trying to get back together ... (read in full...)
What can I cook her that's fairly simple for our romantic night in together?
Q. So basically i am planning to have a romantic evening in with my girlfriend, in a couple weeks time. The plan is: Dinner, maybe a film and then whatever entails. However the problem is i'm not a very good cook. I'd rather not cook her a micro...
A. 3 July 2009: Well first of all she knows your a guy and probably isnt going to be expecting a gourmet meal! (altho some of the best chefs are men!) anyway- there is no need to go all out I'm sure shes more excited about your company rather than your cooking. ... (read in full...)
I love him, but I miss myself and I want to be happy again, how can I find myself?
Q. I've been dating C for 4 months, everything moved way too fast. He has a lot on his plate right now trying to get his 2 daughters back from CPS and he can't seem to let his baby's mama go, after 9 years. I saw all the warnings and walked into this ...
A. 3 July 2009: One girl I know wrote a list and put it by her phone: it had the names of women her boyfriend cheated on her with and other things he had done that hurt her. Everytime he called to apologize or when she had the urge to call him she would look at ... (read in full...)
Advice please... Should I try to make things work with my husband or get out now?
Q. I have been married a little over a year and things have been pretty rocky for the last 6 months. We lived a little town which totally sucked and we moved back to my home town and I thought it was the town that was dragging me down. I do not feel I ...
A. 3 July 2009: If you are in love with another man it is not fair at all for you to make your husband keep trying in your marriage. He will be trying and if he loves you, he will be trying very hard, but nothing he does will ever satisfy you because you will have ... (read in full...)
I'm not gay but watching gay porn turns me on...
Q. I'm straight i know that, i mean, girls turn me on so much you wouldnt believe it, i've had my fair share of girls and i've slept with one. Anyway, My problem is that gay porn arouses me, and not just gay porn, the smell of a penis turns me on, as ...
A. 3 July 2009: Well you dont necessarily HAVE TO label your sexuality but if you are turned on my girls and boys its very possible that you are bisexual.... (read in full...)
Broken...
Q. Hello, I've been in a relationship for 6 years with this woman who is now 31. She was a single mom of 3 kids with three different fathers, a high school drop out. I became daddy #4 four years ago. In our house there is a total of 6 different ...
A. 3 July 2009: I know a guy in a similar situation, altho he is father #3 and the baby is due in two months. It seems to be the same deal, she enforces absolutely no discipline on her two children, she admits to depression- my friend and her go back and forth ... (read in full...)
Can in-laws date, if both are divorced?
Q. Can in-laws date, if both are divorced? As in mother of the bride and father of the groom....
A. 2 July 2009: I suppose you can. Your children might have weird feelings about it. If you ever got married theyd be step-brother and sister! But other than that I dont think there is anything wrong with it :)... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't give me any money to pay the bills, and I think he's cheating
Q. ok i dont want to bore everybody with my problem i will try to make it short and plain i am british living abroad with partner unmarried with two kids both to him he works away from home long distance driver i only see him once a week for one day ...
A. 1 July 2009: This is called economical abuse, its just as common as physical abuse but less talked about because a lot of people dont realize whats going on. He's keeping you in a situation that you cant get out of, and he's doing it on purpose. I dont ... (read in full...)
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