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... Send *orculan queen a private message | | | *orculan queen's profile:I am a 35 year old happily divorced woman with four children. Two girls and identical twin boys. My field of expertise is domestic violence having grown up with it and now work in a domestic violence women's shelter advocating strongly for the empowerment of women. I consider males and females to be equals and am passionate about the work I do. I am currently in a healthy stable relationship and my one wish is that all people find themselves in a healthy relationship. My hobbies include bellydancing, bushwalks, camping, going to the beach and making the most out of each day and taking time out to smile and be happy. Cheers. |
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Please help me cut this lying cheating man out my life forever!
Q. Please help. i need to move on from this constant heartbreak again. I cant believe it,i look back on this site and with the questions I asked, i didnt see this coming. 7 years with the boyfriend only to have his ex phone me and say she slept wi...
A. 24 March 2008: That is so good to hear you are at peace. I agree with Pericles that short posts mean peace. Savour every moment darling and enjoy because YOU ARE WORTH IT! Happy easter from Australia!... (read in full...)
Please help me cut this lying cheating man out my life forever!
Q. Please help. i need to move on from this constant heartbreak again. I cant believe it,i look back on this site and with the questions I asked, i didnt see this coming. 7 years with the boyfriend only to have his ex phone me and say she slept wi...
A. 14 March 2008: Wow ringing you at 3am just shows the lack of respect. He is probably hoping that if you answer the phone at this hour you will be not thinking of a defensive response. I would get an answering machine, turn the phone to silent ring tone overnight ... (read in full...)
Please help me cut this lying cheating man out my life forever!
Q. Please help. i need to move on from this constant heartbreak again. I cant believe it,i look back on this site and with the questions I asked, i didnt see this coming. 7 years with the boyfriend only to have his ex phone me and say she slept wi...
A. 12 March 2008: He was expecting a card or phone call from you and when that didn't happen he felt the loss of power and control over you. He used GUILT AND PITY to make you see HIS emotions without considering yours. SORRY PHASE. NEXT IS BUYBACK PHASE. He is ... (read in full...)
Please help me cut this lying cheating man out my life forever!
Q. Please help. i need to move on from this constant heartbreak again. I cant believe it,i look back on this site and with the questions I asked, i didnt see this coming. 7 years with the boyfriend only to have his ex phone me and say she slept wi...
A. 12 March 2008: I am so proud of you. You had enough strength to not send the card. It is ok to buy it and your instincts told you not to follow through. That is a positive step. Another positive thing would be to keep a journal. On one half of the book you can ... (read in full...)
Please help me cut this lying cheating man out my life forever!
Q. Please help. i need to move on from this constant heartbreak again. I cant believe it,i look back on this site and with the questions I asked, i didnt see this coming. 7 years with the boyfriend only to have his ex phone me and say she slept wi...
A. 10 March 2008: Glad I was able to help. To have moments when you feel like caving in and going back is to admit you are human. You know the emotional cost you have put into the relationship is what makes you falter but this is when you should just do nothing. Your ... (read in full...)
Please help me cut this lying cheating man out my life forever!
Q. Please help. i need to move on from this constant heartbreak again. I cant believe it,i look back on this site and with the questions I asked, i didnt see this coming. 7 years with the boyfriend only to have his ex phone me and say she slept wi...
A. 9 March 2008: Thankyou for posting and letting me know you are ok. Keep posting as rcn and myself genuinely care about seeing you in a better place. Information you are gathering will strengthen you in addition to doing some work with yourself. I mean building ... (read in full...)
Please help me cut this lying cheating man out my life forever!
Q. Please help. i need to move on from this constant heartbreak again. I cant believe it,i look back on this site and with the questions I asked, i didnt see this coming. 7 years with the boyfriend only to have his ex phone me and say she slept wi...
A. 9 March 2008: Wow I am so proud of you for going to the library and reading up on domestic violence related issues. I am getting goosebumps and tears of joy in my eyes. You are on the road to recovery. Once I armed myself with literature and books on the subject ... (read in full...)
Please help me cut this lying cheating man out my life forever!
Q. Please help. i need to move on from this constant heartbreak again. I cant believe it,i look back on this site and with the questions I asked, i didnt see this coming. 7 years with the boyfriend only to have his ex phone me and say she slept wi...
A. 6 March 2008: Hey I hope you are doing ok and come back and let us know how you are going. I see you are getting your strength back and just want to say how proud I am of you. I left my abusive ex husband 3 years ago and there were many times I had this crazy ... (read in full...)
Please help me cut this lying cheating man out my life forever!
Q. Please help. i need to move on from this constant heartbreak again. I cant believe it,i look back on this site and with the questions I asked, i didnt see this coming. 7 years with the boyfriend only to have his ex phone me and say she slept wi...
A. 22 February 2008: Going to the library is such a positive step for you. Arming yourself with as much literature on emotionally abusive relationships will have a twofold effect. One it will provide you with information on all the tools manipulative people use to soul ... (read in full...)
Please help me cut this lying cheating man out my life forever!
Q. Please help. i need to move on from this constant heartbreak again. I cant believe it,i look back on this site and with the questions I asked, i didnt see this coming. 7 years with the boyfriend only to have his ex phone me and say she slept wi...
A. 22 February 2008: Wow it sounds like you have been through alot of pain in your seven years with this coke addicted man. I would say the selfishness within him was present before the cocaine and the cocaine has just emphasised it and enhanced this personality trait. ... (read in full...)
Please help me cut this lying cheating man out my life forever!
Q. Please help. i need to move on from this constant heartbreak again. I cant believe it,i look back on this site and with the questions I asked, i didnt see this coming. 7 years with the boyfriend only to have his ex phone me and say she slept wi...
A. 15 February 2008: It sounds as though you have reached the crucial milestone in your life in where you have realised that no amount of good and love coming from your side is going to change him. Sometimes beautiful warm caring women have to reach absolute rock bottom ... (read in full...)
Please help me cut this lying cheating man out my life forever!
Q. Please help. i need to move on from this constant heartbreak again. I cant believe it,i look back on this site and with the questions I asked, i didnt see this coming. 7 years with the boyfriend only to have his ex phone me and say she slept wi...
A. 13 February 2008: Ok for him to say you are in shock has he followed you to the doctors to know that you are on valium? Also he is softening you up for valentines day. You are on a very heavy dose of medication BECAUSE OF HIM. When I left my abusive ex husband my ... (read in full...)
Please help me cut this lying cheating man out my life forever!
Q. Please help. i need to move on from this constant heartbreak again. I cant believe it,i look back on this site and with the questions I asked, i didnt see this coming. 7 years with the boyfriend only to have his ex phone me and say she slept wi...
A. 13 February 2008: Hey just wondering if you are ok and you haven't caved in and let him back in your life. Send us an update so we know you are ok.... (read in full...)
Please help me cut this lying cheating man out my life forever!
Q. Please help. i need to move on from this constant heartbreak again. I cant believe it,i look back on this site and with the questions I asked, i didnt see this coming. 7 years with the boyfriend only to have his ex phone me and say she slept wi...
A. 11 February 2008: To the man that asked you out I would have accepted a coffee date with him and after a few coffee dates explain to him that you have been in an abusive relationship and you want to take things slowly because you will not accept bad behaviour again ... (read in full...)
Please help me cut this lying cheating man out my life forever!
Q. Please help. i need to move on from this constant heartbreak again. I cant believe it,i look back on this site and with the questions I asked, i didnt see this coming. 7 years with the boyfriend only to have his ex phone me and say she slept wi...
A. 10 February 2008: In Australia we would consider this stalking behaviour. My suggestion is to get an answering machine for your home phone and that way you do not have to directly speak to him and if he gets ticked off he may leave a nasty message that you can take ... (read in full...)
I want them to have great lives.
Q. Hello again, My name is Faith and i previously posted a question about my childrens grandmother wanting to take custody of them. First of all thankyou for all your help but i have another question. Ive been thinking alot, and im just wonde...
A. 8 February 2008: I had an abusive ex husband whose mother stood behind her "little flower" as she called him and tried to declare me insane and tried to have the children taken off me despite the fact that he was abusive to the children. She used her money and her ... (read in full...)
Do girls like porn?
Q. do girls and women also watch porn and if they do, which types?...
A. 8 February 2008: I personally am partial to porn and I am female. Very hard to find a porn without anal in though so I tend to source either lesbian porn or porn with couples that don't do anal so hence my library is small. Definitely consenting adults need only ... (read in full...)
We've been married 1 year and his behavior is driving me crazy! What can I do?
Q. My husband wants to me always follow his idea and could not say no.If I have different opion then he star to angry . During last year, we almost have sex becuase he had on interested. we had no community because he didnt want. we had no secial li...
A. 7 February 2008: He is an abuser. He drinks alcohol to excess because he lacks responsibility and he feels ENTITLED. He gets angry with you if you have a different opinion to him because he is CONTROLLING. He abuses you because he is an ABUSER. He treats you like ... (read in full...)
His family is trying to tear us apart and he won't stick up for me.
Q. My in-laws have hated me from the begining of our relationship but my husband said that he was a grown man and no one could tell him what to do... eight months into the relationship he had to leave the country to work so he told me he wanted me to ...
A. 7 February 2008: I was in this situation. My ex mother in law used to comment on our children and say I wonder who they look like. Meaning they do not look like my son you harlot. Anyway, I am Croatian, his family was English so of course I was the little gypsy girl ... (read in full...)
Please help me cut this lying cheating man out my life forever!
Q. Please help. i need to move on from this constant heartbreak again. I cant believe it,i look back on this site and with the questions I asked, i didnt see this coming. 7 years with the boyfriend only to have his ex phone me and say she slept wi...
A. 7 February 2008: Change your cell phone number for a start or turn it off each night after you have received all calls from your friends and family. Have messagebank take all calls so that he has to leave a message and then simply delete it. You are in a cycle of ... (read in full...)
We've not been dating long, should I tell her how I feel?
Q. A friend of mine introduced me to this girl on MSN, we talked for 2 days she gave me her cellphone, we talked over the phone and everything seems great. She likes serious relationships the same as me. We went on a date to the movies then we ate ...
A. 7 February 2008: Maybe a far less controlling sort of way to approach this is to simply ask her what is a good time to call or text her first with are you free to chat. Wait for the response. You say you are in school so maybe if she is the same age she may have ... (read in full...)
My mother-in-law hinted she wanted to sleep with me, I always had this phantasy so what should I do?
Q. Me and my wife have been married for two months. Well her mom and dad just got a divorce. My wife has always told her mom her sex stories. I brought my baby over to her moms house and she was hinting around that she wanted to sleep with me. She said ...
A. 7 February 2008: First of all I would need to question the mother daughter relationship and why a mother would want to hurt her daughter in this way. To me it seems like she wants to payback her daughter for her marriage breaking down. There are so many many many ... (read in full...)
Do you really get what you deserve in life?
Q. Do you really get what you deserve in life? Or there is no such a thing? Also do things really happens for a reason,or its just random?...
A. 7 February 2008: Life is what you make it. I do not know if you are religous but in the Bible it states that God has a plan for you and that every hair on your head is numbered and that god knows each step you take and the path you will take. If you are not religous ... (read in full...)
Broke up with my boyfriend recently, how long should I wait to start a new relationship? (worrying about my reputation)
Q. I recently broke up with my boyfriend because he cheated, even after I took him back the first time. In total, the relationship lasted 6 weeks, so it was barely serious. I've met a new guy though, that I think I can have a stable and healthy ...
A. 7 February 2008: First of all it says you are between 13 and 15 so I would say you need to take the time to discover who you are before you can discover someone else. At 13 I thought that whatever I was feeling in my heart was what the other person also felt. I ... (read in full...)
Masterbating behind girlfriends back, bad?
Q. I masturbate, maybe two or three times a week, I try not to do it so much, because, honestly, it makes me feel really bad about myself, being, that I have a girlfriend. I feel like I'm the worst guy in the world, and it makes me really depressed. I...
A. 7 February 2008: Masturbating whether you have a girlfriend or not is NORMAL. I live apart from my boyfriend and I use a toy when he is not around and I am horny. There is nothing wrong with masturbating. I know the guilt you feel. I came from a Croatian background ... (read in full...)
Having an affair with my engaged to be married manager. His excuse is he'd lose his friends and family if he broke up. What do I do?
Q. I am a 20 year old girl and in a really messed up situation at the moment. I recently started a new job and on a work night out I got really drunk and ended up kissing my manager. He is engaged to be married and he told me it was just a bit of fun ...
A. 7 February 2008: He is a player. He says he does not want to lose his family and friends but he is happy to get a bit on the side. MMM What you are experiencing is lust not love and the sex is good because it is behind peoples backs. You can do one of two things 1 ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is abusive what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for six years, we have two kids together.I love him ,but he is very mean and he has OCD.If the house is not clean he goes crazy he starts calling me name and yelling at me. I dont know what to do. I dont think ...
A. 5 February 2008: First of all I don't know how he has obsessive compulsive disorder. I used to think this about my ex husband. Honey he is controlling you. Firstly you don't have a car so you are trapped and isolated. He has a mental list of all household chores ... (read in full...)
She has a vibrator, and didnt tell me! Why?
Q. Ladies, In your experience, why might a woman purchase a vibrator without telling her spouse?. And why wouldn't she want him to know she has one? ...
A. 4 February 2008: Honey, you are jealous of a vibrator. First of all do not think that you are not doing a good job. You are probably doing too good a job and she needs a stand in while you are not there. Trust me would you rather her have another partner or a latex ... (read in full...)
He's going on Holiday, but says we can have "Phone Sex". What IS Phone Sex?
Q. My bf is going on holiday with his family soon and im gonna miss him like crazy. He said he doesnt really want to go but all his family are going and he doesnt want to course trouble (they get along really well). The other day he said that he wil...
A. 4 February 2008: Phone sex via text message is great.My boyfriend and I don't live in the same town so as an example he sent me what time do you think you'll be over I want to go down on you and I can't wait to taste your sweet juices.Tell him you can't wait to wrap ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is complaining of pelvic pains after great sex; is it my fault?
Q. The other night my girlfriend and I had just about the perfect sexual encounter, and I'm sorry this is so long, but I just have to tell you about it, before I explain the problem. Also, I need to say that I am on enzyte, a sexual enhancer for ED, ...
A. 4 February 2008: Not your fault. Pain in the abdominal area after sex is a sign of pelvic inflammatory disease. Very common for women to have. Have her go to a proper doctor and explain that she needs to have an ultrasound to rule out pelvic inflammatory disease.... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my step-daughter!!! What do I do?
Q. ive fallen in love with my stepdaughter and dont know what to do...
A. 4 February 2008: First of all Boundaries. You have been entrusted with the care of your stepdaughter and while she is blossoming into a beautiful woman you have to acknowledge that although she is not your blood she sees you as her stepfather. Does her mother or ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to get frustrated because of her "system" when it comes to unprotected sex?
Q. I'm sorry for the long post, just bear with me: I have been dating a great girl for about 7 months now, we are both very much in love, and i honestly believe that she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She comes from a small...
A. 4 February 2008: Hi mate I am a domestic violence worker and in my experience promiscuity in a woman comes down to three things: 1 childhood sexual abuse, 2low self esteem, 3she just loves sex. Ok so on the first part if a girl is subjected to power and control at ... (read in full...)
Is this type of examination of any relevancy for... cheating wives?
Q. hello please help, this is not a clean question. And it might be a stupid one. Can you tell if your wife is cheating by looking at her used underwear. My wife tells me there is drainage that every woman has it. But I only seem to notice it when she ...
A. 4 February 2008: A woman's cycle is roughly 28 days as is the lunar cycle. Day 1-5 being a period. A woman then begins to ovulate and around the 14-18th day she is fertile and can conceive. Prior to this the mucous plug begins to drain out and this is when there is ... (read in full...)
I don't have any friends. Help!
Q. I don't have any friends. I tend to tune out most people, and only make strong connections with a few people. It's hard for me to make chit-chat, I like to talk about real things, deep things, or clever things, but I'm also somewhat depress...
A. 4 February 2008: Forgive me for being a right twit. I didn't realise you were a male. I looked at the question below you for the gender. Mate I am sorry but hey the same rules apply mate. Go out and have fun. Knock em out with your charm and mate alot of people are ... (read in full...)
I don't have any friends. Help!
Q. I don't have any friends. I tend to tune out most people, and only make strong connections with a few people. It's hard for me to make chit-chat, I like to talk about real things, deep things, or clever things, but I'm also somewhat depress...
A. 4 February 2008: You say you are depressed. First of all how long have you been feeling this way? Are there any people at work who you can have coffee mornings with? The quantity of friends does not make you a better person, it is the quality. Maybe your work is ... (read in full...)
Husband has deadly secret! who can I turn to?
Q. my husband is into child porn , he has these storage things not sure what they are called. you can save pictures and videos on them. went through them when he was at work found images and videos of child porn . what should i do i have 5 children...
A. 1 February 2008: I am a domestic violence worker and I would say that if there is child porn at your home and at his work then I would have to say that your children are in danger and you need to contact your local child protection investigation unit. If he has porn ... (read in full...)
Married women and sex toys. Opinions please....
Q. I would like to ask women who are married and using toys. Do you think these toys can substitute your husband? Why do you use them? and would it be possible that woman will get addicted to the toy and enjoy it more than her husband? I need an hone...
A. 1 February 2008: I was married unhappily never used a toy he wouldn't let me. Am happily divorced and steadily dating someone who does not live with me so I use toys pearl bird is my favourite and like me some women get off from vaginal stimulation, others from ... (read in full...)
Is she just too high maintenance?
Q. Nemo solus satis sapit...or two heads are better then one. That is one of favorite latin proverbs, and thats why today I am sending this letter/question out. First off, and I'll do my best to keep this short, altought certain insight is required...
A. 1 February 2008: Wow mate it sounds as though she is insecure alright. From my experience and from what you are describing it sounds as though she thinks you are capable of cheating and in this situation it will drive her nuts thinking you are that she will ... (read in full...)
Cut or uncut, what do girls prefer?
Q. Do women prefer foreskin or no foreskin?...
A. 1 February 2008: Well foreskin or no foreskin? Personally as a woman I don't really have a preference but I do suggest that if you have a foreskin that it is cleaned properly ie pull it back in the shower and clean the dank urine smell off it correctly and then I ... (read in full...)
His ex wife does not leave us alone (harassing me, including at work, making my bf feel insecure etc.) What can we do?
Q. Hi I have been dating a wonderful man since September of last year and things have been progressing really well until his ex wife met me. Instantly she chose to take him to family court and refused to let him see his kids. She is now trying to stop ...
A. 31 January 2008: Furthermore, with my previous reply with the statistics to explain further. 98% of women we assist with domestic violence have themselves grown up in a family of domestic violence. Of these 98% of women we assist 50% have experienced childhood ... (read in full...)
His ex wife does not leave us alone (harassing me, including at work, making my bf feel insecure etc.) What can we do?
Q. Hi I have been dating a wonderful man since September of last year and things have been progressing really well until his ex wife met me. Instantly she chose to take him to family court and refused to let him see his kids. She is now trying to stop ...
A. 30 January 2008: Thankyou for responding to me rcn. Yes I also have suspected she has a multiple personality or bipolar disorder. I am a domestic violence worker and 98 percent of women living with domestic violence have themselves experienced domestic violence in ... (read in full...)
His ex wife does not leave us alone (harassing me, including at work, making my bf feel insecure etc.) What can we do?
Q. Hi I have been dating a wonderful man since September of last year and things have been progressing really well until his ex wife met me. Instantly she chose to take him to family court and refused to let him see his kids. She is now trying to stop ...
A. 30 January 2008: Thank you for the advice rcn. I have just made a statement to the police and am currently getting the police to trace these calls. I will keep you all updated as to how this goes but I will be in family court tommorow as will my partner and his ex. ... (read in full...)
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