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... Send *ittieS a private message | | | *ittieS's profile:Hi There,
Thanks got reading a bit more info about me!
So I'm currently in a relationship, it's still young and fresh - but if I can be honest it has "legs"
I was in a relationship with a toad for 14 years (everyone thought he was a toad, my head thought he was a toad, my heart thought he was prince charming) anyway after kissing a lot of frogs I may just have found my prince charming - if there is such a thing!
For those who love horoscopes, I'm a Scorpio with a Libra moon a fabous combination in my opinion, but then I would say that!
Everything about people fascinates me, Im always the one people turn to in a crisis (sometimes draining) and for so long I was tight lipped about my thoughts and feelings this place I find great as I can share those inner most thoughts and feelings and I've encourage you to do the same!
Nothing really qualifies me to give advise just that during my 34 years I've been through a fair bit, so it's all based on personal experience and comes straight from the heart.
Thank you for reading, thank you for answering my questions and hopefully something I write might help someone
So good for me to say that was me three months ago thigs change.... Suddenly single again will go into more detail soon xx
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| Latest articles: It's all about ME
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 September 2011: So, I'm guessing articles should be a bit like a colum in a newspaper so here goes. I'm having a ME day soon, this involves no boyfriends, no girlfriends, no family, no work Just ME now I'm thinking everyone should have one of these once ...
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Is it normal for sex to feel different with/without a condom?
Q. dear cupid, soo, the first few times that i had sex, the guy used a condom. buuut there were a few times after that when he DIDN'T use a condom. please don't start lecturing me about how this is risky behavior and that i could wind up getting ...
A. 11 October 2011: I love the analogy from YouWish - I hate them too, but only don't use them when in a loving committed relationship, whilst on the pill and he's been fully tested!
Risking any form of STI or STD is not worth doing it without wellies on as my mothe... (read in full...)
How can I learn to accept he wants someone else but still loves me?
Q. My partner has decided to start looking for other female company on chat sites. We got into a situation of our doing but I found I could not cope with the situation. He cannot understand that I have feelings that get hurt. It is destroying our ...
A. 11 October 2011: No way should you accept this!
Reading between the lines, I'm guessing you have had some sort of sexual experimentation of late, where another person has been involved??
If it wasn't for you he needs to 100% accept it wasn't, your his wife he... (read in full...)
He said he's imagined what sex would be like with other women
Q. My fiance has just let it known that he has imagined what sex would be like with other people based on their bodies and personalities...he does say that I always 'win' though. This coupled with the fact that he doesn't have much expeirence outside ...
A. 11 October 2011: No way do you let him sleep with someone else - don't even consider it... And he's not actually said he wants to sleep with other people, or has he?
it's quite normal for men to fantasie about other women. I'd rather not hear about it though t... (read in full...)
Should I make her leave me alone?
Q. My ex and I broke up. she wants to be freinds and talk. I cant be just her friend. I love her too much. I have told her I dont want to be friends. I told her to just move on and she doesnt. I dont want her to move on at all but she has told me that ...
A. 11 October 2011: She is being very selfish, and hurting you. I've been in your shoes, and it's a horrible place to be - but it does get better!! The next time she texts you, be clear in your response - tell her this hurts, I can't be your friend, I need tim... (read in full...)
Am I pushing him too hard to have relationship with me?
Q. hello guys.. i need your advices / help.. so here is my situation : I met this guy online this Sept 26th. 2011..he is a US NAVY but he is in Japan for 3 years,but going back to USA this december.. we always chat everyday, we text during his duty.. ...
A. 11 October 2011: Agree with the other ladies, right now it's all sweet words and that can make us ladies weak at the knees - but it's not a relationship not yet anyway, you may feel totally different when you see him. I'd also suggest cooling things down, but... (read in full...)
How can I ask to stay over without being rude?
Q. I've been invited to a night out in November for my friend's birthday.She recently moved in with her boyfriend in a city that i havent been to that much so i'm not used to the area and its about 40 minutes away from where i live.i might have to ...
A. 10 October 2011: I would say
"hey, any chance I can stay at yours, I'd love to come and let my hair down and I'm a bit worried about the journey home as I'm coming alone"
Or
"can you recomend any cheap hotels or know somewhere I could crash for the nigh... (read in full...)
His ex took so many important 'firsts'
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for five months, best friends for two years, and have known each other for eight. He had an abusive relationship where they both did bad things before me, and I knew a lot about it buI didn't know everything. He ...
A. 10 October 2011: You can't dwell on the past... But should look forward to all the "firsts" between you and him!
That's what I think every single day with my partner! My ex doesn't even enter my head about what it was like before on those "special" firsts and hasn... (read in full...)
We're talking about moving in together, but our circumstances have been very different
Q. I was hoping to get some input or advice from married women or just people with experience in this kind off thing. I started seeing my boyfriend a few months ago. He's a bit older than me but I am 25 myself. I love him so much for his personality, ...
A. 10 October 2011: You just need to discuss it with him, openly and be prepared to know what you want to give. When I move in with OH which I believe is inevitable I know he earns significantly lower than me, will I expect him to contribute 50/50 no as that would be... (read in full...)
If a girl is slow to reply to your messages, does this mean she isn't interested?
Q. If a girl is slow to reply to your messages, does this mean she isn't interested? I went out with a girl this week and we seemed to have a really nice night together. It started timidly, but then we relaxed and enjoyed our evening. It even ended ...
A. 7 October 2011: I'm attached to my phone my OH isn't, even on the first throes of our relationship he would take ages to reply :) yet I've dated other guys who text seconds after (they turned out to not be good guys!) So suggest you call her, tell her you had... (read in full...)
Am I a loser? And is it wrong that I no longer miss my ex-girlfriend? Is that normal after 14 months?
Q. My girlfriend me dumped 14 months ago, saying I would never get a good job thus wouldn't be able to give her financial stability. She used to call me a loser which would make me laugh. I am still doing smaller paying job and I am fine with this los...
A. 7 October 2011: Your very normal and your over what was a very un-supportive girlfriend! Your going to find a nice lady who appreciates you I'm sure, from what you say (and I don't know the whole story) she's possibly the looser!
Good luck to you - your find a n... (read in full...)
How to stop being jealous of husband's female friend?
Q. This is a short question: How do I get passed being angry and jealous of my husband having a picture of his female friend in her underware? How do I forgive him when he assures me she didn't give him the picture, and it was supposed to be f...
A. 7 October 2011: You have every right to be angry, upset etc etc
Totally unacceptable, how would he feel if you had a picture of a male friend in his underwear??
... (read in full...)
Too much too soon!
Q. So things are going well with my new boyfriend been almost two months. But - I lived on my own and have worked from home most days, for over a year - which has suited me fine as I absolutley adore my space. The new man is wonderful, but assume...
A. 7 October 2011: Thanks for the replies, I realise now I was just tired (been working exceptionally hard) and feeling a bit low, I just didn't have the energy for anyone else but me.
Had a night apart, spent time on me and when we saw each other it was electric... (read in full...)
How do I show my boyfriend how much I appreciate his kindness to me?
Q. Today my boyfriend bought a computer for me knowing I desperately needed for my college. I have spent most of my time at the library, I don't have to now, thank-you to him! I said thank-you so many times today, I feel I can't say it enough. I have ...
A. 7 October 2011: So lovely to see a nice happy story, what a super man you have and how adorable you have written 101 reasons why you love him!
You don't need money to show love, cook him something, hug him and just tell him
I really appreciate what a wonderful... (read in full...)
I think I've made the biggest mistake of my life ending my affair. Don't want to be hated. But how do I make this work out right?
Q. Hi, not sure how to start this but hoping to get some good advice. I have been with my wife for 9 years married for 4 and last year i had an affair for 3 months with a woman who is friends with one of my friends. There was a connection from ...
A. 7 October 2011: You wish has completely 100% hit the nail on the head.
Leave your wife you don't love her, have proffesional counselling and move on for yours and your family's sake - if you feel like this 4 years really think about the next 10,20,30+ years.... (read in full...)
How do I not ruin this relationship, due to my insecurities over failed past relationships?
Q. I have had a really bad relationship in the past that was emotionally abusive and resulted in me being very insecure. He cheated on me repeatedly, lied about even basic things and put me down constantly, when he kicked me out I was left pretty d...
A. 7 October 2011: Hi there,
I really understand, I was in a very emotionally abusive relationship, and it took me a long while to find myself again. I've since met a wonderful man, who adores me - I know he is sincere whenhe tells me I'm beautiful, sexy etc etc ... (read in full...)
Does anyone think the law not allowing 16 year olds an younger to have sex will stop anyone?
Q. Just want to clarify, I don't want to have sex. I just think its unrealistic. Do you think it'll stop anyone? No one will call the police. Especially if their both underage. I know why its there and all, but I also know a pregnant eighth grader. T...
A. 7 October 2011: It's there to protect young people, and to prevent older men sleeping with young girls.
At the end of the day it's not going to stop teenagers who are ready for sex from having sex, but can act as deterrent. Your in the US but incase any teens ar... (read in full...)
FWB doesn't call me gorgeous like he does other girls
Q. hi, i am seeing this guy for past few years.. we stay in separate cities so it is not exactly exclusive but we aren't really seeing anybody else .. it is basically more sexual than emotional! we sex text a lot and such stuff.. recently he shared ...
A. 7 October 2011: Ladies realise real life is not a movie!! (I haven't seen the movie but I swear it's caused women to loose their minds) FWB are not boyfriends, I repeat not boyfriends all you are to them is a shag, I'm sorry but it's true - I keep seeing girls... (read in full...)
My FWB is being far too casual with me. Is he losing interest?
Q. I don't understand my FWB guy. He seemed really into me and said that he just wanted "a bit of fun" I am fine with this. But what I don't get is that I just hardly ever hear from him. If I text him he doesn't always reply we're supposed to be m...
A. 6 October 2011: A FWB doesn't check in, doesnt necessairly even give you notice as to when your meet, doesnt stick to "dates", doesnt call to see how your doing - that's a boyfriend.
You seem to want a boyfriend, get out before you get hurt!... (read in full...)
How should I control my jealously and this shock that my girlfriend defeated me in a game of soccer?
Q. Six months back, I started teaching Soccer to my girlfriend. We have been together two years. Two days ago, we had one-to-one match and I got shocked to death that she beat me by 6 goals to 3, out smarting me in every aspect of the game. It got ...
A. 6 October 2011: You taught her you should be a) pleased with yourself that you did a good job and B) proud that she was willing to get involved with something you loved and the fact she's put so much effort into it that she has become blooming good at it.
I'm s... (read in full...)
Am I having a mid life crisis? It seems so important to increase the number of woman I have sex with. So would paying for it be a quick solution?
Q. I am single and am no spring chicken anymore, although Im not exactly geriatric either. In my life I havent really had many girlfriends and can count the number of sexual partners I've had on one hand. Im starting to feel that 'I've missed out...
A. 6 October 2011: I can only express how I would feel about it, as a "nice" girl I'd much rather find a man who has had less women in his life, believe me men who have slept with hundreds of women are not appealing, add in prostitutes and I'd be running for the hills ... (read in full...)
I am flattered but is it too early for him to be saying all these things? We've been dating 7 weeks....
Q. I have been dating a guy for about 7 weeks now. things have been really good and we get on so well. He works away mon-fri after getting a job promotion and is doing really well. He told me about his childhood and how traumatic it was.. His mum was ...
A. 6 October 2011: I'm in a similar situation, my new boyfriend of also around 7 weeks, has shared a great deal with me, and assumes we will spend all our time together. He talks about the future, I know he wants kids and think he will make a wonderful father - he is ... (read in full...)
It's not official. So is it wrong to be dating two guys at once? and how do I choose?
Q. I am dating two guys at once and it feels like cheating to me even though I'm not officially with either of them and its just dating. I was assured by a friend (having been single a long time and out of the dating game) that if your a free agent ...
A. 6 October 2011: I think forget the first guy, he's a player! He is just not that into you, is pushing his luck and despite what he says he's only interested in having sex with you. Believe me I've been there with men like this, and at least he is being honest ... (read in full...)
Is it common for guys to take pictures of a girl during intimate moments?
Q. This is pretty humiliating but i'd like to know peoples opinions. Me and a guy i was seeing were having sex then (without asking) he starts taking pictures of me! I was lying on the bed and he was standing and just started taking pictures while he...
A. 6 October 2011: Totally unacceptable no doubt about it! How dare he just grab a camera, that's a complete no no and he'd be shown the door (after being 1000% sure he had deleted them) it's even worse that tour in a casual relationship.
Some couples do decide t... (read in full...)
18 years old and never been admired by a guy. Is there something wrong with me?
Q. I am 18 years old and no boy has ever liked me.No one has ever approached me.No admirers, no suitors, no boyfriend. EVER. I don't think I am that ugly. I'm tall for my age and race and am not too fat nor too thin. I like wearing appropriate clothes ...
A. 28 September 2011: Oh my lovely, what a catch you sound!!!
There is NOTHING wrong with you lady, I'm a tall girl and it took me so long too feel confident around guys.
Embrase yourself, love yourself! I have in my life found when you don't look they arrive!! Do... (read in full...)
I was considering writing him a short email with my phone number. Is this stupid to do?
Q. I will be leaving my job soon and was hoping to keep in touch with certain people..There is a guy coworker in my area..i sometimes feel the way we look at each other we like each other and other days things are just normal without any looks..we also ...
A. 27 September 2011: He's dating someone else, it's time to move on!
You have a new job to look forward too, and who knows there might be a nicer guy just around the corner!!... (read in full...)
My friend's date decided she like me instead
Q. My friend has met a girl on a dating website, they went on two dates and invited me along to the third...I was ment to have a blind date with her mate. As soon as I seen them both I knew I didnt like the blind date so I just enjoyed he night and the ...
A. 27 September 2011: Good advice posted so far, but I think it also really depends on how "far" they went on that first and second date - was it just chatting?? No long kiss good night or sex? You don't mention how old you are, which also makes a difference.
Ask y... (read in full...)
18 year old with crush on 14 year old?
Q. hi guys i am 18 and i have a developing crush on a 14 year old girl and i just wanted to get peoples views on this is it weird to you or doesn't it matter to you? ...
A. 23 September 2011: Unacceptable and also illegal - an 18 year old can't possible have a relationship with a 14 year old, she's still a child and you are a man.
... (read in full...)
I'm suspicious of what went on at this bachelor party
Q. My boyfriend went on a bachelor party out of town for the weekend with his friends recently. He's already gone on a few of them before during our relationship and has always been good about communicating, even if it's just at the end of the night to ...
A. 22 September 2011: Alarm bells are ringing for me here, you saw him reply to the text.. Another poster suggested the "cheat-omter" going off I completely agree.
Don't sleep with him without a condom until your sure (personally I wouldn't/couldn't sleep with him) but... (read in full...)
How can I help my wife to see that her partying with her gay and straight male friends is ruining our marriage?
Q. Hi, i'm 28, my wife 27, been married for 18 months now. Our marriage has been good up until now; she's a lovely wife and a kind, caring person. However, she's been going out partying far too much with her gay friends, and refuses to invite M...
A. 22 September 2011: Gosh such a hard one, I will be honest I read the first part of the post in the main section (just the snap shot) and thought "is this a jealous husband" then I read the entire post, and I feel very guilty for my first assumption and very upset for ... (read in full...)
On off boyfriend of 4 years doesn't want to date but wants to borrow money!
Q. Hi Cupid, I've been dating this Scorpio Guy on and off for about 4 years. Now he had broke up with me and told me that we were not compatible but wants to borrow money and he says he's in love with me. I'm so confused what kind of game is he playing ...
A. 21 September 2011: A game that you really don't need to be a part off - I would suggest!
Don't lend him money your never get it back, sounds like a case of I will tell you what you want to hear so I can get something out of you.
Not a scorpio trait (loyal, lo... (read in full...)
Why couldn't I get an erection?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 2 weeks now andwe have been sexually active for 2 weeks strait and she is almost addicted to having sex with me which is fine cuz I usually want it just as much as she does but the other night we were hanging out ...
A. 21 September 2011: Alcohol, tiredness can also have an affect.
If your at it like bunnies, before long your just going to need a recharge, just reasure her that it's not because you don't fancy her etc etc it's just that you really are shattered! And that sometime... (read in full...)
Should I tell him exactly what I think? Or just completely ignore him! Hes hurt me so much! Please help!
Q. Im after some good honest opinions as im going out of my mind with frustration. I was seeing this guy for 9 months but he treats me like crap. No matter what he does though i still wanna be with him. Im in love with him. He always blows hot and cold ...
A. 21 September 2011: I know how it feels to want the closure thing, but don't rant. I would do this "hi I have accepted things haven't worked out for us, I deserve better than the way you treat me - but I'm ok with what happened between us. Name" Nothi... (read in full...)
Meeting my BF's parents for the first time tomorrow and nervous as hell!
Q. Oh geez, I'm meeting the new BF parents am delighted he is proud enough of me to show me off, and I deal with people of all sorts for a living but I am so nervous!!! Crazy nervous, I think because I realised yesterday - like a massive lightnin...
A. 21 September 2011: Thank you Denise - very nice advise and encouragement :) and yes it's going very well, I meet his friends for the first time this coming weekend :) I'm hoping the weather will be nice enough to wear a dress (British weather is so un-predictable) ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend proposed...but went looking for a second-hand ring!
Q. So my boyfriend proposed to me the other day. All was going well until he started searching for an engagement ring. We were talking on the phone and he said "Here's one I think you'll like" and sent me a picture of the ugliest ring I'd ever seen. ...
A. 21 September 2011: Oh dear lady - priorities all so very very wrong. My ex proposed it was the most beautiful, expensive ring ever which I loved, but what did it mean - nothing! He prefered pizza the night of our engagement, two months later I realised what an... (read in full...)
Re-united how can I be certain he will be faithful this time? I am determined to be faithful.
Q. I met my ex 6 years ago. We dated for 2 years. It was a pretty bad relationship since there was no trust nor respect and we were very immature (early 20's). I slept with his best friend before even knowing my ex. I also slept with someone he knows ...
A. 21 September 2011: Put on your trainers and run run run
Going back to him will just open up a whole world of pain for you!... (read in full...)
I'm insecure about my looks, Does he lie to me to make me feel better, because I don't look like a porn star?
Q. I know, I know, another porn question. I need advice especially from females who "get it". I guess I have quite a degree of insecurity. The thing is, I know my boyfriend loves me. I know he lies to make me feel better, because he swears and insists ...
A. 21 September 2011: There was an interesting question, as to whether if a man was asked to choose between porn and his SO what would he choose Nearly all said - their SO, would they say to a loving partner who wanted to have sex with them "sorry, I'm going off to wat... (read in full...)
He contacted me. Now he's ignoring me. Is he having second thoughts because he's married? Or jealous that another guy is interested in me?
Q. An old high school flame contacted me on facebook after 10 years. We were in love and we had to break up due to his move to another high school. He met a woman nothing but a year after we broke up and he is married to her now with a child. I am...
A. 21 September 2011: Strongly advise you walk away, well actually run away. Being with a married man is never right, and being the other woman is the most soul destroying thing ever. They never (well you can't ever say never) but they rarely leave there wives (and... (read in full...)
The old "love of my life" wants to catch up and talk, do I tell my BF?
Q. The old "love of my life" wants to catch up and talk, do I tell my BF? I know I'd want to know if my BF was meeting his ex. But I'm thinking guys don't care that much. What's the proper way to deal with this?...
A. 21 September 2011: Tell your BF - otherwise if he finds out afterwards he will feel hurt.
If he cares for you then he will care about it just as much as you would... (read in full...)
What do I write in my bf's first anniversary card?
Q. Hey, what do guys like to read in a first anniversary card? I'm looking for ideas of cool but not too mushy things to write in my bf's first anniversary card, please. Thanks :)...
A. 20 September 2011: I think you just need to follow your heart x... (read in full...)
Broke off our engagement ...did I do the right thing?
Q. Just found out that my bf of four years didn't marry his ex gf because her divorce hadn't come through. He claims this is not the case and it was because they weren't the right match but turns out she was separated from her ex but still married to ...
A. 20 September 2011: You have to follow your own heart, but couples don't stay together for all sorts of reasons, he and she were not "made" to be together if he was cheating and she had designs on someone who had more money.
The older you get the more past GF or BF... (read in full...)
Would a very very jealous boyfriend go so far as to try and make you fall out with your friends?
Q. Hi please could somebody give me some advice? Would a very very jealous boyfriend go so far as to try and make you fall out with your friends. what i mean is that my boyfriend who is extremeley jealous of anyone i speak to has told me that my sons ...
A. 20 September 2011: You poor thing, the other poster is completely right it's based on insecurity.
My ex used to make up lies about things my friends said, eventually I was completely isolated - after he left I made contact with some of my old friends, they were sho... (read in full...)
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