A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi guys i am 18 and i have a developing crush on a 14 year old girl and i just wanted to get peoples views on this is it weird to you or doesn't it matter to you?
View related questions:
crush Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, sirbatman  +, writes (4 July 2016):
I am 18 going on 19 with a small crush on a 14 yr old going on 15, though I only have seen her twice, my parents are 4 yrs apart and they started dating when my dad was my age, it isn't weird, but back then in my parents generation 14 yr old girls were more mature, nowadays girls are taking longer to grow up(they no longer mature faster than boys in my opinion), it varies for each person not for a gender;I recommend waiting and being familiar with her family so that one day they don't see u as a creep, and it isn't against the law for y'all to date, just to have sex, which u should wait for sex until your married anyway
A
female
reader, kat_talk  +, writes (23 June 2013):
well its not wrong as long as you guys dont date im 14 i dont think its that bad as long as it just says a crush untill a Certain age but maybe you should tell her to see how she feels
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2011): I would not worry about it. Society puts too much emphasis on relationships and sex. Here is an interesting thought. There is a seven year age difference between my parents. How about that? So who cares if you have a crush on a 14 yo with a 4 year age difference.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2011): When I was fourteen I dated an eighteen year old guy. We had a lovely relationship, he never pressured me for sex, my parents adored him and his parents adored me. We broke things off peacefully after he graduated and now we're both involved with other people although we keep in contact. So honestly, *I* don't see anything wrong with it. But perhaps I had a lucky experience. So maybe it's best you keep your feelings to yourself until she's 16.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 September 2011): I personally think that maybe illegal I am unsure but I shouldn't be talking because I am dating an 18 going on 19 year old and I am 15 going on 16. So I would say maybe rather go for someone your age or wait till she is older. Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (23 September 2011):
 It's not wierd BUT it will never work out at your age 4 years may as well be 40.
...............................
A
female
reader, calamari  +, writes (23 September 2011):
 people would probably find it strange, you could also get in trouble with the law as even if she verbally consents to sex with you in the eyes of the law you have raped her.
obviously you wouldn't have to have sex with her if you went out, would you be willing to wait 2 years.
there isn't anything wrong with fancying her it's probably just not worth it
...............................
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (23 September 2011):
 Biologically, that's basically normal - in a state of nature (think caveman days), that'd be an ordinary matchup. Some cultures still consider that normal today. So, the attraction by itself is nothing to be ashamed of.
But, we as a culture have decided that's not what we want to happen in our civilization. So, dating her, making romantic overtures, or otherwise tempting yourself would be wrong, and risky besides - even a completely fabricated accusation of impropriety could destroy your life. Best to distance yourself from her and focus on girls closer to your own age.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (23 September 2011):
 Repeat after me, "jailbait".
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (23 September 2011):
 I have to say an 18 year old boy and a 14 year old girl is a no-no. She CAN be a very mature 14 year old and you CAN be a very immature 18 year old, but it can still lead you in a lot of hot water.
I'd tell you this, if it was any of my daughters, I'd keep you far away from them.
A 14 year old shouldn't worry about relationships and sex...
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 September 2011):
 I was in love with an 18 year old when I was 14. And it's not weird at all. Happens all the time. However, being in love is one thing, being in a relationship is quite the other. I was told to not make a move on the guy I was in love with until I was 16 (age of consent), not because I planned to have sex, but because until that age you're still very much seen as a child, both in the eyes of the law and in the eyes of PEOPLE.
You might get judged if you try to have a relationship with her now. You might also be accused of having sex with her, which could make the police get involved, or her parents telling her she can't see you etc. etc. There's just a lot of complications. Maybe it seems weird, but don't date a girl under the age of consent when you yourself are above it. Regardless of whether or not you plan to have sex with her. It's a matter of ethics.
But no, it's not weird at all to be in love with a 14 year old girl when you are an 18 year old boy. It'd weird if it was the other way around (girls mature faster than boys).
...............................
A
female
reader, KittieS +, writes (23 September 2011):
 Unacceptable and also illegal - an 18 year old can't possible have a relationship with a 14 year old, she's still a child and you are a man.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 September 2011):
I think this would matter. 28 and 24 is one thing. 18 and 14 is entirely another. If you started anything, this could lead to lawsuits and the sex offender's register.
The best thing to do is to have nothing to do with this girl.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 September 2011):
 well to be honest if the 14 yr old was my daughter you'd not be allowed around her at this point. there is too much of a difference between 18 and 14....
and here in the united states it's illegal for an 18 yr old to date a 14 yr old.
While they may LOOK mature or even occasionally ACT it, 14 yr old children are still that CHILDREN...
...............................
A
male
reader, cian +, writes (23 September 2011):
 I don't think the crush in itself is wrong or unwarranted. I think that if you were to act upon it, you'd be opening a whole new can of worms. Whatever the reason for your crush, can you wait four years? - If no, move on. Find a crush on someone more suitable.
...............................
|
