A
female
age
30-35,
*tinak
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over nine months, and just recently my drinking has begun to cause problems. One I start, I cannot stop and I have said and done hurtful things to him in the past when I was under the influence. Jut recently, he went out with his friends, and I went out with mine. I only had a couple beers, but when he found out, he went ballistic! He told me it was over, and that he couldn't trust me at all when I drink. What am I supposed to do when he is out then? Sit on my bum and watch movies by myself? It's really unfair and I wish I could see his point of view, but I can't. Is he overreacting or do I really have a problem? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, spudatoe4  +, writes (17 April 2010):
i had a girlfriend with the same problem she used to get ploughed every time she was out. i know she wouldn't cheat on me but the fact of the matter is if your getting so drunk that you cant remember half the nite its a possibility that you wouldnt remember cheating and all his friends definatly come up to him and see that your drunk every nite and say it to him. how is supposed to be happy that you cant go out without getting hammered?? you could possibly be the nicest and sweetest girlfriend in the world when sober but when your out and all his friends are around they'll only know you as a drunken mess not a great GF. and you've said you've done things that hurt him?? seriously sort yourself out or you'll get a name for yourself and end up ruining your life, your not a 15 year old anymore
A
female
reader, Larrk +, writes (13 December 2009):
Hi,
Why not just stop drinking? he obviously doesn't like the way you get under the influence. Try to go a year without a drink. If it is easy and no problem then you probably don't have an issue. If you can't then try an AA meeting. People there understand.
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A
male
reader, empty-1 +, writes (13 December 2009):
Honey you got a problem!
You said a bunch of things that you really REALLY need to look at:
1: I have said and done hurtful things to him in the past when I was under the influence.
- This is a major red flag all by itself! However, in the context of:
2: One I start, I cannot stop
- They add up to a terrifyingly hurtful sum.
3: that he couldn't trust me at all when I drink
- Sounds like the problems are worse than you may realize. Trust issues are a horrific thing in a relationship. You don't want them. At all.
4: What am I supposed to do when he is out then?
- Anything but drink. Take some friends to the cinema, or to a museum. Go roller skating, go to a club and dance, sing, make a fool out of yourself, and do it all SOBER (drinking soda). If you can't have a good time without alcohol, there's really no helping you anymore.
5: It's really unfair and I wish I could see his point of view, but I can't.
- Life's unfair. It sucks. Get a fucking helmet and quit yer whining. You claim to love and value this person, but cannot try a little harder to see his point of view? Sounds like the alcohol is doing your thinking for you.
Honey, like it or not, you're a fledgeling alcoholic. You stand to lose a lot more than just this one boyfriend if you don't figure some shit out, and really, really fucking fast!
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A
female
reader, Sweetheart =) +, writes (13 December 2009):
 ummm why dont u stop da drinking?? its not a math problem and u can stop if u cant then i think u should find some help... good luck with all that
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (13 December 2009):
 You answer your question in the first sentence, "just recently my drinking has begun to cause problems"
You really do have a problem, and you need to sort it out PDQ!
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