Like what
she writes?
... Add *ionee' to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *ionee' a private message | | | *ionee''s profile:I'm a very enthusiastic and fun loving woman and I just simply love helping others. I am from the sunny city of Durban, South Africa.
I'm currently single and focusing on other aspects of my life such as work and studying. I love to write in my spare time, draw, sing and create content. I'm a very open minded person who likes making new friends and meeting new people.
I always aim to give the most honest advice that I can.
Anyone is welcome to mail me for private one on one advice.
May you all be blessed in your endeavours. |
|
| Latest articles: It doesn't have to be complicated
No replies yet... 7 August 2013: I've been the agony aunt among the people I've known for a while. Those much older than me come to me. What would I know right? Thing is, I've always learned from the mistakes of others and gather What-Not-To-Do from that. Ever heard "A fo...
|
My girlfriend is disgusted by my arousal
Q. My girlfriend of one year who is fifteen year old feel disgusted when i have a boner. I get boner when i am around her and when she touch me even though she said she is not ready for sex. Is it wrong to have boner as she always tell me and that i am ...
A. 9 October 2022: To be involved with a minor is an issue. The last I checked, here in SA the legal age of consent is 16... Regardless, the golden rule is that any adult should NOT be dating anyone who's age starts with a 1. Since your age range is 18-21, I'm ... (read in full...)
Baby mom won’t leave him alone!
Q. His baby mom won’t leave him alone. His baby mother told him she will never allow him to happily be with someone else and has been tormenting us ever since. She’s in another country. What I’m upset is about the fact that I have given 200 p...
A. 18 March 2022: This is precisely why I don't date guys with kids. As previously mentioned by other aunts, you sound like your mind is already made up to stay. So anything that anyone says will go in one ear and out of the other. I'll add my two cents... Hopefully ... (read in full...)
Situations and boundaries
Q. What are peoples opinions on situationships and boundaries within them? I've been seeing a guy for 4 months. I'm 33 and he's 39. We spend every other day together. We cook together, go on long walks together, we are sexually intimate, we cud...
A. 7 March 2022: Wow, I'm so sorry that this happened to you. He's obviously the one in the wrong here and no, you're not overreacting. The fact that there was an agreement to inform the other person of any changes means that he has, in fact, violated your trust.
... (read in full...)
My mother embarrasses me in public about my speech impediment
Q. I was born with a severe speech impediment. Not a big deal since 90% of people can understand me with little issue. The issue is once a week, my parents, siblings, nieces, nephew and I would go have a family dinner once a week. My mom instantly...
A. 7 March 2022: I completely understand why you feel the way that you feel.
I agree with Honeypie. You need to actually sit your mom down and try to explain how it actually makes you feel and why if makes you feel that way. She probably doesn't understa... (read in full...)
Which contraception is best and will least affect my body
Q. Hi just wondering which contraception is best and will least affect my body? I’m turning 16 next month and going to start having sex with my boyfriend when I am legal. He said he will use condoms every time but I just want to be extra safe and go on ...
A. 8 February 2022: My dear, none of us can give you medical advice as far as how your body will react to various methods of contraception. You have GOT TO speak to your doctor about this.
As far as getting freaky goes, I agree that you should wait but I do give you... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is immature and its annoying
Q. Hi My girlfriend seems immature. We have been chatting for about 6 months and have decided to meet. She hangs on to every word I say and I dislike that very much. Seems everything needs to go her way. For example, we talk on the phone I suggest ...
A. 7 November 2021: You've delayed meeting because the two of you are incompatible and you know it. Perhaps you're trying to be the nice guy and not hurt her feelings by ending things but I honestly think that both of you are somewhat immature for making things ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend left me for another guy. But am still in love with her
Q. My girlfriend left me for another guy. But am still in love with her. What do i have to do....
A. 8 October 2021: At 16-17, these things happen... Unfortunately. It sucks and I'm sorry that you had to experience heartbreak at such an early stage in your life.
To be honest with you, this is out of your control. Meaning: there's absolutely nothing that you... (read in full...)
Did I handle things in the wrong way dealing with my relatives?
Q. My cousin, Brooke, came out of the closet a few years ago, and her parents stop all communications with her. Brooke had to go to therapy due to the depression she had, which her parents were mostly to blame. Her own mother told Brooke "As far as I ...
A. 29 August 2021: Before even debating whether or not everyone deserves your respect without having to earn it, let me just say that the way in which you responded was very respectful. I'm from a family that can also be a bit much when it comes to matters like that. ... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend, but my soulmate is out there.
Q. Years ago, through work I met the guy of my dreams. We were actors that worked on set together and he was so nice to me, so handsome, just everything I wanted in a guy all my life. The way he looked at me made my heart just race. I felt like he was ...
A. 30 July 2021: If you do not want to be with your boyfriend, break up with him. The breakup doesn't have to be a mutual decision. If it's over, it's over. Honestly, I wouldn't blame you. Your relationship seems pretty toxic at the moment and the best thing for you ... (read in full...)
How do I explain how my boyfriend and I met?
Q. How do I tell my fiance's parents how we met without revealing our secret? I met my fiance at a concert and had sex with him in the bathroom. I know it was risky and stupid but I was young and wild at the time. I thought it was just going to be...
A. 30 July 2021: I agree with the other aunts. You met at a concert. That is the truth. What happened after you met that evening that is nobody else's business and you shouldn't feel the need to reveal anything else that happened after that. Keep it short, sweet and ... (read in full...)
My drunk texts have caused a problem
Q. I have been an absolute idiot and I’m so embarrassed. I met up with a friend yesterday, a few afternoon beers turned into a few more and by 6pm we were streaming. We were having a good laugh and chat. Anyway, obviously due to covid we were catching...
A. 30 July 2021: Rule number 1: Never text while drunk. No but seriously I think it should be everyones rule whether one drinks responsibly or not. It's just a good rule to live by. You say that those weren't your true feelings but if I'm being honest, they do seem ... (read in full...)
Is it right for my 15-year old son to date an 18-Year old girl?
Q. My 15-year old son has recently started going out with an 18 year old girl. Is it just me or does this seem really inappropriate? Don’t get me wrong she’s a nice person and he seems to be really smitten with her but she is technically an a...
A. 18 July 2021: Oh and by the way; how do her parents feel about this?... (read in full...)
Is it right for my 15-year old son to date an 18-Year old girl?
Q. My 15-year old son has recently started going out with an 18 year old girl. Is it just me or does this seem really inappropriate? Don’t get me wrong she’s a nice person and he seems to be really smitten with her but she is technically an a...
A. 18 July 2021: I also think that it's inappropriate but I also agree that you could easily push them closer together if you handle this incorrectly. It's odd to me that she's okay being with someone that's still a child. Granted if they were both atleast a few ... (read in full...)
I am really in love with my male teacher. should I date him?
Q. i am really in love with my male teacher. should i date him?...
A. 19 June 2021: NO!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is still communicating with the women he cheated on me with
Q. Hello and thanks So my bf and I have been together about 3 years. In the beginning he was cheating and I found out and he apologized and I had to regain my trust in him. Unfortunately he was an Instagram account and hes got the woman he cheated...
A. 12 June 2021: He cheated in the beginning of your relationship and you stayed (which... To each his/her own and obviously cheating isn't a dealbreaker for you), he has failed at proving himself to you, he still communicated with the woman that he cheated with and ... (read in full...)
Should I contact my ex after 5 years no contact? Is 5 years enough for someone to change?
Q. I have an urge to talk to an ex from 12 years ago. We haven't spoke for 5 years and the last time we spoke I ignored her last msg because she was acting crazy. She was important to me and I want to reconcile but I don't want to msg her for fear...
A. 8 May 2021: I wouldn't bother if I were you.... (read in full...)
Experiences with contraceptive pill? Am a lesbian but am considering starting it
Q. I am a lesbian, but am considering starting the contraceptive pill. My main reason for this is that I get my period cramps pretty bad to the point that I barely function for the first day or two of my period. I no longer take pain killers after a ...
A. 7 May 2021: I too have dysmenorrhoea. It's incredibly difficult to deal with. I would throw up among other things and also pass out because of it. The first 3days of my period were the absolute worst. Thereafter the pain would ease as the days went by. Needless ... (read in full...)
Its time to call out my friend for her terrible behavior
Q. What am I to do ? I have a « friend ». For years I’ve known that she sometimes badmouths me behind my back. Today I got a piece of written proof. SHe has a terrible temper and she looks for excuses. It’s never her fault; it’s always someone e...
A. 16 April 2021: If I were you I wouldn't even bother wasting my time on this. It baffles me how much energy people waste on shallow friendships like these. You can't tell her anything personal, and do you know why? You know that you can't trust her. Perhaps you ... (read in full...)
Is This Player Just Chasing Me Because I'm Hard To Get?
Q. The guy who likes me is a ladies man and party boy and has slept with loads of girls, so although I think he's hot I am not interested. He has constantly been flattering me for ages to the point his friends make fun of him but Im just not into him ...
A. 13 April 2021: He's a friend, and he should stay being a friend. He's a player and he's going to continue to be. I don't think that he finds you to be particularly amazing, he views you in the same way that he views many other females. Perhaps you're a challenge ... (read in full...)
Can a relationship that started as an affair have a chance at succeeding in the long run?
Q. I am one of the rare mistresses who gets her married man in the end. He divorced his wife, sold the home, split assets. All the kids are grown and out of the house. And now we are together legitimately. I can walk on the street with him hold...
A. 13 April 2021: You're feeling guilty. Even if it's on a subconscious level. Also, you acknowledge the fact that you don't trust him and you don't feel safe with him. Why? Because you started off as the mistress and you realise that your former position is now open ... (read in full...)
Why would my new boyfriend still be talking to his old girlfriend?
Q. Hey y'all. My boyfriend of 6 weeks and I have run into some interference from his ex girlfriend of 8 years. He moved to my country and we started dating after he broke up with her. She was not in touch with him at all during those 6 weeks and then ...
A. 16 March 2021: Simply put: he's still in love with his ex and he's probably hoping to get back with her. Why didn't he mention you? It's been 6 weeks and he's still deciding whether or not he actually even wants to be with you long term... Enter the ex... Which ... (read in full...)
I really like this girl, but I've already slept with her mum
Q. HELP. I've recently started dating this girl virtually. Obviously we can't see each other in person because of the COVID rules but we'd been chatting on Tinder for ages and never got the chance to properly meet up so decided to have virtual dates on ...
A. 1 February 2021: You definitely have to tell her because if she finds out later on, things will be much worse. If I were her, I would not react well to such news. I doubt that she will laugh it off and continue on but regardless, she has a right to know. It's a ... (read in full...)
His cooking style annoys me
Q. When my boyfriend cooks, he never follows a recipe. He will add random ingredients (ones that in my view really don’t work with the recipe) or add the wrong quantities. Doesn’t matter if he’s cooking sweet or savoury, it’s always the same. The ...
A. 31 January 2021: It's either he really likes to cook, but can't or he really doesn't like to cook but he'd rather show you than tell you hoping that you take the hint. Either way, I'd say that a conversation needs to be had here. You need to figure out what's going ... (read in full...)
I cried during a film and he handed me a box of Kleenex
Q. Hi. Would this bother you? My boyfriend and I were watching a movie a few days ago. I cried during one scene as it reflected a situation I had gone through in my real life. All my boyfriend did was hand me a box of kleenex. He didn't say anything, ...
A. 31 January 2021: Speaking as someone who doesn't know how to react in highly emotional moments, I can 100% see where your partner is coming from. Even dealing with death makes me weird. I don't ever know exactly how to comfort someone and I definitely don't know ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend said he didn't like our fighting and needed to think about it. What does that mean?
Q. My bf and I have had an amazing relationship the past year. Everything is great besides our arguments here and there. We had our first big fight the other night leading to me leaving his place to go home and cool off. The next few days without me ...
A. 17 January 2021: He is reassessing his desire to be with you. Look, we don't know if he's going to leave you but he is definitely thinking very deeply as to whether or not this relationship will work out. He's probably miserable. He's tired of the constant back and ... (read in full...)
Should I keep their affair a secret?
Q. My ex-wife had an affair with one of our best friends. It was very physical, and they exchanged a lot of sex talk and intimate photographs of each other which i still have. When i discovered the affair i copied as much as i could as it went alo...
A. 17 January 2021: You have nothing to gain from revealing this secret. You probably have quite a bit to lose since your kids are very close to his. I wouldn't say anything. I get where you're coming from, I do, but even so, I wouldn't say anything. ... (read in full...)
Would it be disrespectful to my dads new wife if I had a photo of my Mother and Father together in a photo frame on display in my house?
Q. Hi Dear cupid. The question I would like to ask is: Would it be disrespectful to my dads new wife if I had a photo of my Mother and Father together in a photo frame on display in my house? (when I move) My mother sadly passed away two year...
A. 14 January 2021: You have every right to display family pictures in your home. Regardless of the fact that your dad has moved on, your mother was and is still your mother. That did not change all of a sudden. You have a right to love her and put your parents on ... (read in full...)
Was I selfish for breaking up with him or was it for the best?
Q. Hi everyone! So 6 months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years and I’ve been plagued with guilt since. 2 years ago my bf witnessed/went through something extremely traumatic and was diagnosed with PTSD, during the early days of his diagnosi...
A. 14 January 2021: OP whenever we break up with someone, our minds tend to focus on mostly the good memories. The fact remains; the bad times were not created in your own imagination. If this relationship was causing you to spiral mentally and you were miserable, then ... (read in full...)
Why did my ex lie?
Q. My ex fiancé and I were going to get married long story short . He moved and three years later he showed me the paper work with al my info which he said he shredded. He ended the relationship he was military and moved away to another county. He t...
A. 14 January 2021: We wouldn't know why he lied OP. Neither do I think that it's important why he lied. You've moved on. I hope that you're very happy with your new life, happy enough never to look back. I think that you should do all you can to protect yourself and ... (read in full...)
My husband wants to share me with a friend
Q. my husband wants to share me (wife) with a male friend but when he ask me how far my friend can go I shyly tell him "touch my leg" then a little more advanced " rub my thighs" of which he says " you really don't want him to go that far do you?" ...
A. 14 January 2021: Honestly, I think that the two of you are asking for trouble. I get it, everyone has a fantasy. Often, that's what they should remain being; just fantasies. Ultimately, this could ruin your marriage. It's up to the two of you to decide whether or ... (read in full...)
Trouble with a friend who borrows money and won't pay it back
Q. Hello So, my friend seems to have money issues. I don't mind helping out sometimes but recently I found out after I borrowed 200.00 a mutual friend also gave 200.00 so I sort of expected mine back. However, she said shes broke and needs it. A...
A. 14 January 2021: Never EVER lend anyone money. If you do not have enough to simply give away, don't borrow money out. That's a lesson that everyone needs to learn. You either give money freely, and as a gift, or not at all. Finances are the main cause of divorce and ... (read in full...)
My long distance husband keeps asking for money
Q. My husband and I have been together 4 years. For the most part it's pretty good except for money. He relies on me too much to take care of things financially. I should mention hes been back and forth we don't live together as a married couple ...
A. 14 January 2021: From what you've written here, this does seem like a scam on his end. It seems to me that he will probably always feel comfortable enough to live off of you. This is a very difficult situation because you're already married to him. Your options seem ... (read in full...)
Dating a married woman now she suddenly becomes distant, what should I do?
Q. hi, been dating a married woman for a month, but chatted for few years before meeting, know everything about each other, even her husband her family and her husbands family kept hassling her and asking about me (because they keep seeing me ...
A. 17 December 2020: Her marriage isn't the hurdle. The marriage existed long before you entered the picture.
I don't know if I would believe that her husband is away for 5 years. I don't know any married people that would be perfectly happy, existing, separate... (read in full...)
I believe he is a scammer. Your opinion?
Q. Hello and thank you ! A man contacted me on Instagram. We've been chatting a couple of months. Seems nice and sweet but I've been very cautious. We're from different countries, different cultures and an age gap. He says he works but whe...
A. 17 December 2020: He's definitely a scammer. I'm sure of it. ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to say I am straight?
Q. I am a man and I do not consider myself bi or gay but I do like an occassional get together with another man from time to time I like to give him oral nothing in return I prefer to give oral to a straight married man My question is is it wrong to ...
A. 16 December 2020: I would say that you're bisexual. You clearly enjoy sexual experiences with men (regardless of whether or not you go all the way). I think that you need to consider why it makes YOU so uncomfortable to admit it, especially to yourself. I think that ... (read in full...)
Am I being a mug? I think she over-spends on gifts at Christmas!
Q. Im not sure if I’m overreacting to the Xmas gifts. My gf and me don’t have much money yet she has spend her whole salary on Xmas gifts for family that do not care about her the rest of the year. I have not said anything. It’s her own money so she...
A. 15 December 2020: You're right when you say that you can't keep bailing her out forever. You absolutely cannot afford to. The two of you are very financially incompatible... Meaning, you do not mesh well financially... Meaning, she could very well ruin your life by ... (read in full...)
My family doesn't know about my biracial daughter
Q. When I was 20 years old, I was dating a black girl (I am white). We did have sex and she ended up pregnant. Due to different reasons, we agreed to put the baby up for adoption (open adoption). My ex-girlfriend stayed in contact with the family (the ...
A. 3 December 2020: I'm interested to know why you haven't told your parents already?
I think that the only way to tell them, is to just; tell them. I don't think that anyone would be upset at the prospect of having another child to love and care about. That is,... (read in full...)
How are others dealing with the anxiety caused from the pandemic?
Q. I know I am not the only one experiencing problem with this ongoing pandemic but I'm wondering if any of the wonderful aunts and uncles could give me some advice that perhaps I haven't tried or thought of? I am having such a hard time just trying...
A. 3 December 2020: My anxiety isn't related to the pandemic in any way, shape or form. I've been taking the necessary precautions so I know that I will be okay. However, I do suffer from anxiety and I noticed that it was worsening due to being inside and isolated all ... (read in full...)
How often I should give in to his desires to send him a sultry picture and yet still keep him attentive and not thinking about only sex?
Q. Hello, I have a simple question but one that keeps me up at night nonetheless. I'm seeing this guy. Super great, love him to death honestly. However, recently I sent him a slightly... unusual picture. Well, compared to what we usually send. It...
A. 18 November 2020: Nudes are a bad idea in my book for multiple reasons. Firstly, guys can see you as being cheap.
Secondly, revenge porn is an actual thing these days.
I think that you're putting way too much pressure on your young self to be this willing, sexual b... (read in full...)
How can I start casually dating and hooking up with this dealbreaker?
Q. Im a 25 year old male with only 1 sexual partner in the past. How can I start casually dating and hooking up? Im not looking for a serious relationship as i just got out a 9 year relationship 4 months ago. How can i break it to a lady that i dont ...
A. 18 November 2020: Your break up is still very fresh. 4 months isn't a long time at all. I think that you're jumping the gun. Spending 9 years of your life with someone is a big deal and it can hurt very much when it ends. You haven't had time to process everything. ... (read in full...)
| *ionee''s friends
These are mutual friends, so *ionee' has
added them and they have added *ionee'!
|
