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*ionee' agony aunt


South Africa  (Female   XML/RSS

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*ionee''s profile:

I'm a very enthusiastic and fun loving woman and I just simply love helping others. I am from the sunny city of Durban, South Africa.

I'm currently single and focusing on other aspects of my life such as work and studying. I love to write in my spare time, draw, sing and create content. I'm a very open minded person who likes making new friends and meeting new people.

I always aim to give the most honest advice that I can and truth be told; I've always given advice. Some of my friends have dubbed me 'the love guru' (lol).

Anyone is welcome to mail me for private one on one advice.

May you all be blessed in your endeavours.

Latest articles:

It doesn't have to be complicated

No replies yet...

7 August 2013: I've been the agony aunt among the people I've known for a while. Those much older than me come to me. What would I know right? Thing is, I've always learned from the mistakes of others and gather What-Not-To-Do from that. Ever heard "A fo...

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Everything I do my friend copies.

Q.   So ive had the same best friend for atleast ten years, we have had our ups and downs but anything that would end a friendship.. But my peoblem is, lately, shes been doing everything EXACTLY like me.. Like let me explain, if i say im changing...

A.   15 April 2018: She has issues; a low self esteem and low self confidence. She thinks that you have things together more than she does and she probably thinks that if she copies you, it will help her become as confident and as sure as yourself as you are. It's ... (read in full...)

My online guy has been professing his love for me but I've found out he has a girlfriend!

Q.   Basically I've been with a guy for 8 months and we're long distance (he's also from a different country than mine we just met in the summer) . It was his choice for us to stay together although we are far from each other and we always skype and keep ...

A.   15 April 2018: He's an idiot. Block him and move on or as I say, "Ex him, next him and pretend you never met him."... (read in full...)

How do I accept that he doesn't want to be my friend?

Q.   I started speaking to this guy 'M' online around 3-4 years ago. Our conversations were very fluctuating, and never particularly in depth but I really like and admire M as a person. We get on great, have so many similar interests, and for a while I ...

A.   15 April 2018: Please just realise that you're wasting your time by hanging around and waiting for him to 'like' you. He has made himself clear and you should respect that. If he wanted to let you in, he would have so stop over analyzing this whole situation ... (read in full...)

What does this married man mean when he says he finds me physically attractive?

Q.   I've met this guy at work. He is married. We have a lot of things in common.He is a very private man. He doesn't talk much to anybody until I started working there. He said he likes me and enjoy being his friend. He is always careful about what he ...

A.   15 April 2018: It means that he finds you attractive enough to sleep with you should he get the chance to. That's it. If he tries anything, put an end to it because advances may follow. Don't allow him to open the floodgates and reel you in. Be better than tha... (read in full...)

My uncle and I are in love, but what about Auntie?

Q.   I know that a lot of you are probably going to say how nasty and sick I am and how I need to get help right away, and I totally understand where you're coming from but I'm writing here because I have no one to talk to and I'm kind of going nuts over ...

A.   15 April 2018: Firstly, I don't think that you're nasty/sick. The truth is that your uncle has forced his way onto your lips and into your mind and your heart. HE is actually the sick and nasty one. The fact of the matter is that you're young and it's easy to ... (read in full...)

He's never told me directly that he loves me but he says it over text. Why does he do that?

Q.   Me and my guy friend know each other for 1 year, we are in a long distance friendship since he moved out to another state for work 2 months ago. I do know that he loves me before he even moved out, but he didn't tell me that until 1 month ago. He ...

A.   15 April 2018: Stop with the back and forth and get OUT of this relationship. If you genuinely are NOT ready for a relationship. In fact, both of you might be unprepared. Here are a few scenario's: 1. YOU think you don't want a relationship but you do based... (read in full...)

Does having a car really make you the better option to date?

Q.   Does having something that the next person doesn’t make you the better option to date? Will it stop your boyfriend from losing interest? My friend was messaged a screenshot/picture by her ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend that showed a status ...

A.   15 April 2018: I say; NO, having a car doesn't make you better. It doesn't better your chances (as a female at least) and it doesn't make you fart perfume (for lack of a better analogy lol). If this new chick thinks that that's what it will take to keep thi... (read in full...)

Can we really be future friends respectively?

Q.   Same sex best friends for four years and we crossed the line and had emotional and physical affIr for 4 months. We are both married and won’t leave our husbands and families. We still work together and continue to have lunch and talk at work only ...

A.   15 April 2018: Give her the time and the space that she requested. The worst thing you can do now is force things. Leave it alone. As far as you guys' husband's go, do right by them and let this thing go. Again I say; LET IT GO. If both of you love and respect ... (read in full...)

What are his intentions? Is he just playing around?

Q.   Dear cupid , Im a flighta attendant, ive met this guy onboard we were both very interested in eachother , we were flying to florida but it turned out he had a transit flight to another state , we texted when i had a lyover there he told me how m...

A.   15 April 2018: This seems kind of a game to me. Talking about having kids and building a future with someone that you haven't even met properly, is a red flag to me. Honestly, perhaps he is a decent guy because he may even be one (who knows) but all of this is ... (read in full...)

I’m tempted to ask her out but fear embarrassing her!

Q.   There is a girl at my work that I have liked for years, but I never had the courage to talk to her until recently, after she asked a colleague who I was and was I single. We get on quite well but there is a little bit of shy / awkwardness when we ...

A.   15 April 2018: There is no real friendship there so don't be fooled. I always say that dating people at work can open a can of worms that nobody will be prepared for. In my opinion, I think especially if she seems inexperienced; leave her alone. Because of the f... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is going to be sleeping at his ex's house this weekend

Q.   My older bf (46), told me(29) that this upcoming weekend we were not going to see each other because he was going to go back to the city where he lived before with his ex wife, and that he was going to do some things, like look for a ...

A.   15 April 2018: To everyone saying that it isn't weird, look at it this way: if you're going to an exes home to pick up some stuff, is it necessary for you to sleep there? That's my issue here. If this guy is financially stable enough to build a home, he is ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend asked me to move on but then why is he messaging me again?

Q.   I've been seeing my boyfriend for about four months now. Things were starting to get serious but then we had our first big fight. It was all done over the phone and we argued for about a week, both being too stubborn to meet up. He had the weekend ...

A.   10 April 2018: Both of you are quite stubborn and unable to reach a compromise or even communicate effectively so guess what? You're incompatible (and still immature). Regardless of why he is contacting you, the fact remains; he broke up with you and when you... (read in full...)

Does this sound hopeless? Should I try talking to my boyfriend's rigid Indian parents and fight for him?

Q.   Hello all.. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 months. I’ve known him for almost a year and honestly, he is the best boyfriend over ever had. I’m not exaggerating. He treats me with love, respect and kindness. After breaking up with my abusive ...

A.   10 April 2018: When it comes to traditional issues, cut your losses and ditch the situation. I make it my aim to stay away from people who have very traditional parents. Mainly because even though they themselves can be westernized to the T, they still have to ... (read in full...)

My cousin talked me into having sex with her when we were just 12 and 13 and now I feel uncomfortable having her stay over at my place

Q.   When I was 12 years old male, my 13 years old female cousin talked me into having sex with her. Over the next two years, we had sex on several occasions (maybe once every 3 months). We stopped having sex when she was about 15 years old and when I ...

A.   10 April 2018: If you don't want her at your house then don't have her stay at your house. After all, it's your home and I don't think that you should let your parents guilt trip you into letting her stay there. Obviously it's making you uncomfortable because ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend constantly changes the topic of conversation to himself and his achievements

Q.   Hello everyone, there's a little thing that been "bothering" me about my boyfriend, and due of my lack of experience on these aspects, I was wondering if some of you could give me a little hand in order to solve this situation. Usually when w...

A.   10 April 2018: Personally, this would be a huge red flag for me simply because I can't stand people who are self absorbed. To me, he doesn't ask you about your stuff because; he really just doesn't care enough to want to know. He finds his life more interest... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is going to be sleeping at his ex's house this weekend

Q.   My older bf (46), told me(29) that this upcoming weekend we were not going to see each other because he was going to go back to the city where he lived before with his ex wife, and that he was going to do some things, like look for a ...

A.   10 April 2018: Honestly, that's kind of odd and I'm sure that it would make most people uneasy if their partner suggested this. Why can't he stay at a hotel or BnB instead? I think that you should just be honest with him and tell him that it bothers you. Hon... (read in full...)

I want a sexual relationship with my professor. Should I pursue it?

Q.   I am in love with my professor and want to take thing to a sexual relationship. I need advise on how to keep it a secret. We flirt all the time we even exchanged pictures. Should I pursue this at all? ...

A.   10 April 2018: Look at the situation like this: This guy is a professional (or at least he is supposed to be) so let that sink in... meaning; he is off limits and he is taking advantage and in a sense; he is exploiting the fact that you like him and I assume t... (read in full...)

I'm fed up with boyfriend and his gifts/loans

Q.   I am disabled and live on benefits,last October my boyfriend of 10 years offered money for my car repairs I said I would not be able to repay but he insisted,then a few months later there was another repair needed and he said it looked like he would ...

A.   10 April 2018: Firstly; STOP taking things from him. He is the type of person that likes to be repaid for everything that he does to why keep taking things from him? It's best to just live within your means on what you get via benefits than to have him constantly ... (read in full...)

Did my boyfriend’s dad just sexually harrass me!? I’m crying

Q.   My boyfriends dad just sexually harrased me?! I feel so embarrased to even write this! Please help I am in shock I live with my boyfriends parents and something happened I was eating late meal in the kitchen and he came in, we were having a ...

A.   7 April 2018: Honestly, you under-reacted in the moment. I definitely would NEVER let some weird creepy guy use a child as an excuse to touch my breasts. It's disgusting how he behaved and he knows that he crossed the line but he could tell how intimidated you ... (read in full...)

Please help me stand up for myself

Q.   I am sick of my friends not listening to me and then punishinhg me with rumors and the silent treatment. OK. Sometimes, it's fun for me, JUST TO HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEBODY. It's fun and it's safe and I can feel all happy inside and I don't have to ...

A.   6 April 2018: Here is my advice: 1. Get new friends who respect you and actually care about you. 2. Stop worrying about boys if you genuinely couldn't be bothered. Stop forcing to be who you aren't just to appear to be more acceptable within your frie... (read in full...)

Is he telling the truth about the state of his marriage?

Q.   I’m seeing a married man for a number of years. I am in no rush to spending my whole life with but I do love him, he says he is in a sexless marriage, that his wife has no sex drive yet iv seen photos of them with her arm around him yet he doesn’t ...

A.   6 April 2018: To me, it really doesn't matter whether his marriage is sexless or not, the point is; so far he has stayed (for whatever reason) and that probably won't change. I mean, it's quite clear that you want more out of it (clear from your 'he either w... (read in full...)

Is the size of the take out he brought home a sign he is becoming cheap?

Q.   After dating selfish cheap guys, I'm pretty gun shy. My bf has always been generous w/me and we do pay for each other pretty often. Today he went out to eat and I couldn't make it, so I asked him to bring me some soup. I'm not one to eat a lot, but ...

A.   6 April 2018: If this is the only time something like this has happened, let it go and just keep an eye out for the next time. Also, you did mention that you don't eat a lot so I don't get it. Maybe a much larger portion would have made you happier, one of w... (read in full...)

He lied about an ex. Should I end things?

Q.   Last night I caught my bf of only 3 weeks in a lie. We started dating in January but only became an official couple in March. When I first started dating him, I asked him when did his last relationship end. He told me he had a gf in the summer of ...

A.   6 April 2018: He lied to you to spare your feelings because he probably knew what your exes done, hence, he tried not to give any red flags that would show you that he is the same as they are. Look at it this way, if he had fessed up after you approach... (read in full...)

Is there no one for me? How can I get a guy to be interested in me?

Q.   I think I’m meant to be alone forever. I’m a junior in high school, and No matter what, I cannot find a guy who remotely shows interest in me. I am good-looking (not trying to be stuck-up) but I never talk in school. I go to school everyday without ...

A.   6 April 2018: You're well aware of why you're never approached; because you aren't easily approachable. I always say this; for every girl, there is a guy that secretly adores her. Popular or not. That isn't the point. The thing is that, since you don't talk to ... (read in full...)

My husband is disappointed because I didn't tell him about a job interview

Q.   Hi guys I feel really terrible about lying to my husband about a recent job interview I had. Two weeks ago I applied for a job (he knew I had been looking) and got called for the interview and thankfully got it. However I didn't tell my husband ...

A.   6 April 2018: Here is my take on things: I get not telling him because I often do the same thing also out of not wanting to jinx it, so to speak. So trust me, I get it. However, when I do get some good news, I'm definitely quick to share my news which I thi... (read in full...)

Was my husband lying about not loving the other woman?

Q.   is my husband lying to me when he says he never loved the other woman? I found messages and video with him telling her he loves her...

A.   6 April 2018: Whether he loves her or not; we might never know and here's why: 1. He could have been filling her head with garbage so that he could continue to get some while also keeping his bread buttered by you as well. 2. He might really love her in which... (read in full...)

Should I break up with my live-in girlfriend?

Q.   I am in a long term relationship and my gf isnt interested in sex. I've always had a higher sex drive than her but she only wants sex when it is her cycle for a kid. I want a kid but college is starting to get stressful and I dont think I want to ...

A.   6 April 2018: You two should definitely break up. Honestly. The two of you aren't doing anyone a favour by trying for a child. The fact of the matter is that the two of you are sexually incompatible and want different things right now. You want a kid but it r... (read in full...)

Is online dating worth the effort?

Q.   So I have been trying to make sense of this... does online dating is worth the effort? I ask this because I put up my profile on 2 sites (one famous paid site and one famous free site) and I'm very disappointed with the results. I have a decent p...

A.   6 April 2018: The thing about dating sites is that it's the same as real life... you won't just get a hit just like that. It also takes a lot of time and effort. A lot of the modern day dating sites give such impressive stats that when we sign up, we start ... (read in full...)

How do I approach my co-worker?

Q.   This guy at my work likes to stare and/or glance at me from afar; he seems nervous every time I come closer to him or walk past him. Afew weeks ago, I was smiling at him to try and calm his nerves down and show I am a friendly person and he seemed ...

A.   6 April 2018: My guess is; he probably likes you. Some people think that work is a good place to meet your potential life partner, personally though; I don't date co-workers. It complicates things loads and it adds a certain sense of unprofessionalism if the two ... (read in full...)

I has sent really embarrassing messages to a girl 6-7 years ago and I just realised that girl is my girlfriend's cousin! What if she still has those messages?

Q.   Hi all, 6-7 years ago , i was messaging a girl on Facebook, probably very cringey and embarrassing texts , nothing came of it and i deleted her of Facebook , 4 years ago I started dating my current girlfriend, been together 4 years now, that girl ...

A.   6 April 2018: I think that what happened 6-7 years ago is irrelevant... you seem to be a very different person now. Another thing is; I doubt that she kept your messages through the years and if she did, she probably won't cause rubbish unless she's really ... (read in full...)

I have to work nonstop to pay off my debts and I feel very restless and hopeless sometimes. How do I keep this up for another 8 months?

Q.   How do I sta sane in this financial situation.? I am living in New York City I have a roommate and I am in debt - school - medical procedure and bills all amount to 3300 a month to stay afloat - I spoke to a financial advisor and the minimum ...

A.   6 April 2018: Honestly, so far, you're doing most than the average person would be willing to do. For that, you should be very proud. It's understandable how you're drowning in debt, I mean, apart from what you owe, NYC is so expensive when it comes to the c... (read in full...)

It feels like shes using me. Is she?

Q.   We're dating for a few months, I'm 31 she's 22 last night she asked me to pick her up at her house and I didn't want to because I just don't want to get out of my house and as she lives far away I'm not into it driving right now, just a lazy day, ...

A.   3 April 2018: Oh and I don't think she's using you. She just wants MORE and you seem to be okay with LESS. I don't think it's called being used. It's called incompatibility. ... (read in full...)

It feels like shes using me. Is she?

Q.   We're dating for a few months, I'm 31 she's 22 last night she asked me to pick her up at her house and I didn't want to because I just don't want to get out of my house and as she lives far away I'm not into it driving right now, just a lazy day, ...

A.   3 April 2018: You're not willing to compromise or accommodate this woman so that's why you're having problems. It may seem like a small issue to YOU but your effort (to most of us aunts here) seems less than satisfactory. A compromise on your part perhaps would ... (read in full...)

It feels like shes using me. Is she?

Q.   We're dating for a few months, I'm 31 she's 22 last night she asked me to pick her up at her house and I didn't want to because I just don't want to get out of my house and as she lives far away I'm not into it driving right now, just a lazy day, ...

A.   3 April 2018: You're not willing to compromise or accommodate this woman so that's why you're having problems. It may seem like a small issue to YOU but your effort (to most of us aunts here) seems less than satisfactory. A compromise on your part perhaps would ... (read in full...)

How do I handle dates where I don't want more?

Q.   Often when I go on dates with guys, it becomes apparent to me quite quickly if I'm interested or not. I'm always respectful and kind on dates. But I have a very flirtatious smile, so often if I smile too much, I notice guys are responsive and want ...

A.   3 April 2018: Honesty is the best policy. Be honest. Especially since it's well within your right to be. If you don't want what he wants; let him know. ... (read in full...)

I don’t want to deny him sex but how do I get my feelings across?

Q.   I have been with my bf now for 3 months and although he is 12 years older he can be romantic. He is African american and I'm Canadian (when we are not making love). But he can be a bit of a control freak when it come to our love making. He says what ...

A.   3 April 2018: If you don't want sex at particular moments; tell him. Get him to stop pressuring you long enough for you to actually verbally communicate this to him. I think that the problem here is that the two of you are sexually incompatible and you're ... (read in full...)

What do you do when a relationship has become boring?

Q.   Hi what do you do when a relationship has become boring I’ve been with my fiancé for 4 years we never do anything together in that time we’ve been out for 6 meals and that’s it he never wants to do anything he gets stoned every day all day he was a ...

A.   3 April 2018: The two of you are incompatible. The best thing that you can for yourself is; pursue a prompt breakup. ... (read in full...)

I started an affair as a FWB but we are so well matched!

Q.   I have been with my fiancé for 6 years now he is much older than me and I have just recently caught the eye of a wonderful man that is my age that has a good head on his shoulders and is very charming and respectful the only bad part is we are ...

A.   3 April 2018: This sounds like a fantasy. Here is where I'll give my input: Something is lacking in your relationship which is why you went outside looking for it. With that been said; both you and this guy are playing a very dangerous game, one in which, 4 or m... (read in full...)

Why can't he just give me his undivided attention for a few minutes?

Q.   Recently, starting about 6 months ago, my relationship with my boyfriend has become fairly rocky. We've been together for almost 5 years now. I've started to notice his lack of ambition in many life and day to day events in general. He has missed a ...

A.   3 April 2018: Don't threaten a break up if you really don't mean it. Honestly, you love the guy so don't do that. What if he had said,"yeah I think we should break up, as well", your question here would've been very different. Personally I don't think that soc... (read in full...)

Why am I attracted to men like my father?

Q.   [Mod note: two questions combined from same poster.] Should I date men that I don’t find physically attractive? I come from an arranged marriage - my parents both were set up by their parents and their still married - although not happy.. I apprec...

A.   3 April 2018: I look at it this way (and I HAD issues with my father too), the reason why you're ending up with guys like your father is because as you said; the dating pool is looking shallow since you keep finding men who are taken and such and the ones that ... (read in full...)

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