He chatted to this girl on the net, we live together and I can't get over it!
Q. I happened to look at my bf's laptop yesterday and saw a chat with some girl (he saisd she was some random girl who added him to her contact list), HE initiated the chat, asked her if she had a webcam, she said she was sorry she didn't. Then they ...
A. 14 March 2007: It's good that your bf talked to you about what was bothering him - that is really good.
He says he wants reassurance from you and you say you have given it, but he still doesn't feel reassured does he?
He is responding to that by giving y... (read in full...)
He chatted to this girl on the net, we live together and I can't get over it!
Q. I happened to look at my bf's laptop yesterday and saw a chat with some girl (he saisd she was some random girl who added him to her contact list), HE initiated the chat, asked her if she had a webcam, she said she was sorry she didn't. Then they ...
A. 14 March 2007: I think if he is chatting up girls online, he has some kind of problem with your relationship, and you need to find out what that is if the relationship is to survive.
Can you drop your upset about what he has done for a while (which is after al... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has asked to meet me and said that it was bad. I'm terrified in case he wants to break up with me!
Q. I have been going out with my boyfriend for 1 year and 10 months now. we were getting on fine and then this afternoon he rang and said that he needed to speak to me face to face and that it was bad. when i asked him if he was going to break up with ...
A. 14 March 2007: Go and listen to what he has to say.
If he does say that he wants to break up with you, just ask him if he minds you asking him questions about why he feels that way.
Then go away and spend a bit of time thinking about what he has said befo... (read in full...)
Could it be I'm going to have a holiday romance?
Q. hiaa your all problary going to think im nuts by the end of this question but i really wanna know!! Anyway the other night i had this really werid dream that i met a boy and he was really cute and sweet. And im going on holiday in May and could i ...
A. 14 March 2007: It's not horrible and mean to try to help you to understand that dreams do not foretell the future.
It's trying to help you.
You should try to use your mind in a logical way - you should always be questioning things and asking yourself,... (read in full...)
What do I ask him??
Q. He wanted to play a 10 question game, and asked me to ask anything i wanted within a 10 minute frame lol, of course i was clueless and being a visual person, i must write thing out to accomplish my thoughts at all times. What do i ask him? Top 20 ...
A. 14 March 2007: Well I do agree with the others - 10 questions in 10 minutes - sounds like fun.
It is worth you practising being able to go with the flow and not having to write everything down. It wasn't a test. It didn't matter what you said to him or what ... (read in full...)
I belong to an asian culture. Is it true in the west, you can have sex with anyone you want?
Q. I belong to asian culture and i have this mindset about West that you are free to do whatever you want there. Meaning you can have sex with anyone you want to, if both are ready. Is this true? ...
A. 14 March 2007: I went on holiday to India once and a friendly man asked me the same question: "is it true that you Westerners can have sex with anyone you want?".
What I didn't realise is that he thought that I would therefore have sex with him. NO WAY. I ... (read in full...)
Married 8 months an now when he drinks, he's mentally abusive! What should I do?
Q. i dont even know where to start because im soo confused. my husband and i have been married for about 8 months. when things are good they are awesome! but lately his mood has been rocky, one week he is soo sweet and nice and loving, then he starts ...
A. 14 March 2007: Someone who is mentally abusive is as bad as someone who is physically abusive.
You are clearly very scared of him, else you wouldn't be keeping innocent things from him.
Ask yourself what you are getting out of this marriage? Is he... (read in full...)
Due to his rugby-we can't seem to spend time together anymore. Is he avoiding quality time with me?
Q. For the last 4 months I have been trying to organise a weekend away with my boyfriend as we do need some quality time urgently. Every weekend he plays rugby which makes it impossible to go away. This weekend he told me that he didnt have rugby and ...
A. 14 March 2007: No, you are seeing it. He doesn't want to spend a weekend away with you.
I could understand if he simply had an ongoing rugby commitment - of course he wouldn't be able to go away then.
But when he has a week off, you discuss & agree ... (read in full...)
How can I stop feeling so fearful with society in general?
Q. I feel too much fear of being punished by the society and considered bad if i do not obey to everything my father says, even if it means destroying myself in the process. This makes me guilty and ashamed even for doing simple things independently ...
A. 14 March 2007: Yes you do need some help. Go to your doctor and get a referral to a therapist who can help you. ... (read in full...)
How can I find a male figure that my child and I can depend on?
Q. I am pregnant (as you may have gurssed by the name) and i don't really know the father. In fact, i was stupid enough to get in the car with a complete stranger. I was worried about finding a father figure for my child, as i dont want him or her ...
A. 14 March 2007: I would just concentrate on giving your child all the love you can, and gathering as much support as you can, from your family and your friends.
No specific "father figure" is necessary. And you won't have time for dating as you'll need all... (read in full...)
How can I feel better about myself? I feel as if I'm not good enough for my fiancee.
Q. i feel like im not good enough for my fiancee. he treats me like a princess and worships the ground i walk on. everything he does he puts me first im the main thing in his life. my past relationships were very abusive so i became used to abuse so a ...
A. 8 March 2007: To get confidence in yourself, exercise often helps.
But it sounds like you might need some counselling too. ... (read in full...)
Is there any advice you can give me on how to make her feel better and be there for her without having to cuddle her?
Q. hi, my wife recently lost a very close family member. Well all i've tryed to do over this past week is be there for her but now that the funeral is over she is worse than she was before. Everytime i ask her how shes feeling she keeps saying shes ...
A. 8 March 2007: Can you hold her hand? Can you rub her feet? ... (read in full...)
Going to see him in 2 weeks... I need some fantastic suggestions on how to make this the most memorable experience for both of us. Any ideas?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been in this long distance relationship for about a year now. I'm going to visit him in about two weeks and I am so excited. I bought a bunch of lingerie to make sure that we have a time that both of us will remember for the...
A. 8 March 2007: Then the best thing to do when you meet him is to talk with him openly and honestly about your and his feelings.
Don't expect a fabulous extravaganza and then come back and make a decision all by yourself about whether to end it or not.
This... (read in full...)
He has so many issues I don't know if he's sincere or not... what do you reckon?
Q. I have been seeing a man for almost 3 years, he tells me he loves me but I just don't feel it. I also found dating sites he has been on. I really love him and keep thinking that he loves me too. I just feel like he is hanging on to me until he ...
A. 8 March 2007: There's only one reason that someone goes on a dating site - it is to find a new partner.
That's your answer, I'm afraid.
It is common for some people (weak ones) to stay in a relationship until they have found a new person, because they are... (read in full...)
He is 7 years older than me and I like him a lot but my parents don't like him, should I go out with him?
Q. hy my question is what should i do if my boydriend is 7 years older than me and my parents dont like him should i go out with him even though i love him a lot....
A. 8 March 2007: If you're 10-12, then he must be 17-19.
He will want to have sex with you at that age and you are way too young for that.
With the greatest respect to you, you are still very much a child, yet he is an adult.
I'm afraid your paren... (read in full...)
How do you know when someone is right for you?
Q. How do you know when you are right for each other? This is just a general question to see what other people's experiences and advice has to offer. I don't believe in "soul mates" at all and I do think that there can be more than one person who i...
A. 8 March 2007: To answer your question, I highly recommend that you consult this book
http://www.amazon.com/Are-You-One-Me-Avoiding/dp/0440215757
I can't tell you how many times I turn to this book. It's really really superb. Buy it now and use it for t... (read in full...)
Should I ask her out? Do you think she would say yes?
Q. I like this girl she is in the eighth grade I am in the Ninth and I really like her in fact I think she is the hottest girl on earth and I am afriad I am to ugly for her.I have some acne and a little chubby ...
A. 8 March 2007: Let her decide whether she likes you are not, rather than running yourself down!
Why not ask her out? What's the worse thing that could happen? That she says no?
Then you have shown you had the confidence to ask her out, you had good practic... (read in full...)
Help! My period is really late, could I be pregnant?
Q. Help! I had a normal period Febuary 1st thru the 6th of 2007. I should have gotten my period on the 3rd or 4th of March, 2007- No later! I am really late! Today is the 8th. I have taken two digital tests- both came out negitive and I have also ...
A. 8 March 2007: You're only a tiny bit late.
Don't worry about something which might not be the case. Try to restrain your worries to real problems.
If the tests are negative, then they're negative. Wait another week and try one again.
A lot of exerci... (read in full...)
He can never say no to this guy, how can I get him to spend some time with me?
Q. i have been dating a man for 2yrs. and 3 months. a relative of his is always asking him to go fishing with him. i don't mind the fishing but i do mind when its anywhere from 3 nights to 7 nights that he is gonel his relative has been married for ...
A. 8 March 2007: You say - "it seems to me that if he loves me so much that he would be most likely to stay at home with me rather than always go with this relative"
This isn't true It is healthy in a relationship to do things separately and it is good for him ... (read in full...)
Should i text him again although its been a month saying that i want to be mates with him or should i try and forget him?
Q. hi all im really stuck me and this guy a few months ago meet up and talked and seemed to get on well , we met up a few times and drank and chat and become mates , but after a few meets we ended up having sex and we still decided to stay mates ...
A. 8 March 2007: The question is: are you sure you just want to be mates? Only a month ago you (very honestly) said that you couldn't be mates with someone that you had those kind of feelings for. Have your deep feelings disappeared so quickly?
... (read in full...)
He wants me to send him naughty pics but I don't want to, I don't feel comfortable with it, what should I do?
Q. guys..my bf wants me 2 send him naughty pics. i trust him sooo much but i'm not ready 2 do that jus yet. its not that i feel uncomfortable cos of him.. i just think its kinda gross.but he has sent me stuff and is expecting me to send him. this...
A. 8 March 2007: I doubt you asked him to send you rude pictures of him, did you? He sent them without you wanting them. So you certainly don't owe him any pictures in return.
Rude pictures will objectify you. You rightly suggest that sending him rude pic... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and in love with this guy but I need to get him out of my head once and for all! How can I do this?
Q. I want to finally get over this guy, he's 15, and has just lost his virginity to a girl he's been seeing for a while now. I've been in love with him for two years now, and I'm sick of having my heart broken by him. He only pays me attention when he ...
A. 8 March 2007: When a guy treats you like that, he is not worthy of you. This guy uses you and then takes actions which hurt you.
You have to learn to respect yourself, to know that you are worth more than this.
If you feel that you still love a guy... (read in full...)
We broke up and his friend raped me. We got back together and when I told him he said he can't deal with it anymore. What do I do?
Q. me and my boyfriend broke up 3 months ago and i became good friends with his friend.. but his friend raped me one night when we were out at a club. me and my boyfriend got back together and have been together for a month but i just told him what ...
A. 8 March 2007: You think your mother will not believe that you were raped? Are you in the habit of making up stories? Is she in the habit of not believing you? Surely she would believe you? Why would you say something like that otherwise? We believe you, don't ... (read in full...)
My bf wants to try bondage. What do you all think?
Q. My boyfriend wants to try bondage and im a bit nervous. What do you lot think about it? how do i really start it off? do i have to get into charcter? sorry i aint got a clue....
A. 8 March 2007: Why don't you ask him? He's the one that wants to try it and so you ought to find out what he has in mind. If you can't ask him, then you probably shouldn't be doing it.
... (read in full...)
Going to see him in 2 weeks... I need some fantastic suggestions on how to make this the most memorable experience for both of us. Any ideas?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've been in this long distance relationship for about a year now. I'm going to visit him in about two weeks and I am so excited. I bought a bunch of lingerie to make sure that we have a time that both of us will remember for the...
A. 8 March 2007: If you've been in the relationship for a year, what is so special about this particular visit?
Where do you see your relationship going with this guy? Will you move to the same place eventually?
I would suggest that you just relax and spend ... (read in full...)
My bf's mom and older sister hate me for getting pregnant w/ my guy!! Help!
Q. I am 6 weeks pregnant, and my boyfriend's mom and older sister really hate me. They are angry at my boyfriend for getting me pregnant. ...
A. 8 March 2007: Sorry - this is less an answer to your question and more an answer to the previous posters view on abortion.
It sounds like you have no problem with being pregnant, just your in-laws, and as everyone has agreed, just ignore them.
However... (read in full...)
Why do men vanish??
Q. Why are men really into you one minute and then all of a sudden you don't hear a thing from them, they don't call or reply to your text's twice this has happened to me completely out of the blue!...
A. 8 March 2007: Glad he didn't "vanish" as your previous guys have.
If this is your second date, then you should just look to enjoy getting to know him a little better.
Be supportive and empathetic regarding his loss and listen to him talk about it.
J... (read in full...)
I prefer texting to phoning as I don't like the awkward silences, how can I make him understand this?
Q. i'm15. been dating this guy for a few months now. i love him soooo much but he calls me like everyday and like sumtimes more than once a day! he also expects me 2 phone him all the time, but i am the kinda gal who likes texting instead. its not that ...
A. 8 March 2007: You might want to think about why you don't like "awkward" silences.
When you have a conversation with someone, you're not supposed to talk constantly with no gaps. Sometimes you have to think about what to say in answer to something. Sometime... (read in full...)
I feel so neglected by my partner, he seems to have time for everyone else but me!
Q. which is the best way to get your man to give you more attention? im feeling really neglected by my needs lately and everytime i tell him how i feel, he seems to run futher from me. He plays rugby, cricket and squash, he has kids, and it just seems ...
A. 8 March 2007: You have a right to demand some of his time.
You should set out clearly what time you want him to give you - dinner together on a Wednesday, etc, - and discuss it with him.
If you are sitting at home now, ignored, imagine what it would be... (read in full...)
Just hit second base with my bf...please help!
Q. I think me and my bf just hit second base. He fingered me. I'm 15 and he's 17 what do i do? help please...
A. 8 March 2007: It sounds like you didn't like it, or it is bothering you.
It's your body - if you're not ready for this, then you should say so. Just say: "I'm not ready for this, I don't want you to touch me there.". If he's a good guy, he'll wait. If not,... (read in full...)
How do I tell him I am mad at him??
Q. I don't know what to call him...okay well him and I were seeing each other for a while and then we decided to to take a break bc he needed to get his head straight.... He said he needed time and I was more than willing to give him that. Little d...
A. 8 March 2007: I'm sorry for you.
When you split up with someone you go through a number of stages - the first one is often shock, and anger comes along when the shock wears off.
You're in the "angry phase". Sadly, there is absolutely no point in saying ... (read in full...)
He wants to be a little bit more adventurous in our sex life and has suggested a 3-some. If I don't go ahead with it I feel he will leave me. What can I do?
Q. please help, my boyfriend has recently suggested that we should experiment some more sexually and that a little bit of new things is good for a relationship. He want's me to have a 3some with him and his mate, i don't think a 3some is my thing but i ...
A. 8 March 2007: Then say no.
If he leaves you because of this, then he's not someone you'd want to keep anyway.
He sounds horrible. In fact, making you believe that he will leave if you say no is reason enough to dump him anyway.
... (read in full...)
I feel so neglected by my partner, he seems to have time for everyone else but me!
Q. which is the best way to get your man to give you more attention? im feeling really neglected by my needs lately and everytime i tell him how i feel, he seems to run futher from me. He plays rugby, cricket and squash, he has kids, and it just seems ...
A. 8 March 2007: Thanks for the extra information. So what you're saying is that you both met in Joburg, when he was away from his family and away from his sporting activities, and when you presumably were able to spend a lot of time together. But when you both ... (read in full...)
He is working later and later every night. Is he cheating on me?
Q. my boyfriend is working later and later every night. i hardly get to see him at all even though we live together, people are saying that he is cheating, he used to work later when he was with his ex, she later found out he was cheating. i dont know ...
A. 8 March 2007: He might be cheating, he might be working hard because he is under a lot of pressure at work, or he might be working hard because he doesn't want to come home and spend time with you.
You should ask him about his work, because if he is just und... (read in full...)
Does a Brazillian wax hurt badly?
Q. i think my boyfreind really wants me to shave down there! does a brazillian wax hurt badly?????...
A. 8 March 2007: You are soooooooooo young.
Here is a very important thing you have to learn in life - you live it the way YOU want, not the way others want you to live it.
You must've only recently got your pubic hair. The fashion for shaving it off i... (read in full...)
What do I say in my text back to him? I want to strike the right balance between assertiveness that he overstepped the mark to a bit of humour as well.
Q. Hi guys! This is abit of a weird question, I guess. My ex sent me a text a week ago apologising for making me feel uncomfortable with the way he was acting on one occasion, and saying he wants us to be good friends and have a laugh. However, I ...
A. 8 March 2007: I totally understand how you feel. I don't like to see ex's until years later, when all the feelings have faded.
Personally, I would be polite yet assertive which states your needs in a way that it would be inappropriate for him to ignore. ... (read in full...)
What can he and I do to help me relax and keep me aroused so I can stay in the moment?
Q. I posted this question before but I'm not sure if it was understood the way I intended. Everytime my boyfriend and I go to have sex, I find I have a hard time being turned on. I think it's because I start thinking about losing my virginity and my ...
A. 8 March 2007: You're probably just not quite ready yet.
When I was your age, I dated a guy and we had been together for 18 months befoe we decided to have sex (we had mucked about previously) and after I went on the pill, we just somehow didn't seem to be ab... (read in full...)
He wants to be tied up in the bedroom!!!! How do I go about this?
Q. My boyfriend is wanting to try new things in the bedroom. I am all up for trying new things and he really wants to be tied up, and for me to take charge. I'm a bit nervous as he has had it done before me and says it was rubbish so im worried that i ...
A. 8 March 2007: What an insensitive man - fancy teling someone that you want them to tie you up, then saying last time it was done it was rubbish!
Why doesn't he say in what way it was rubbish, rather than let your mind run away with you and bring forward ... (read in full...)
We have decided to move in together and get married, now he's dropped a bombshell... he's £50,000 in debt!!!
Q. I have a wonderful boyfriend of 5 years. We are very much in love and have decided to move in together and get married. We both have good well paid jobs however he has dropped a bomb shell! He is £50,000 in debt and has hidden it from me till now. ...
A. 8 March 2007: Debts of £50k are not exatly small. Surely it worries him ( or should ). But he has not talked to you in 5 years about something that big? That's not a very open man, is it?
Some people are hopeless with finances, and it's a form of not grow... (read in full...)
Could it be I'm going to have a holiday romance?
Q. hiaa your all problary going to think im nuts by the end of this question but i really wanna know!! Anyway the other night i had this really werid dream that i met a boy and he was really cute and sweet. And im going on holiday in May and could i ...
A. 8 March 2007: I think it would be healthy if you stopped believing that some people can actually predict the future in that way....... it's not logical or possible and it's a crazy, unhelpful belief to have!
Your dream was a nice one, and it just shows th... (read in full...)
How can I manipulate his penis so he can "aim" better?
Q. i have this problem when im having sex with my boyfriend. We lost our virginity together, but he has hmm some people tend to call it "bad aim" basically he doesnt always get in me, but don't get me wrong when he does the sex is brilliant. i dont...
A. 8 March 2007: I agree with the others..........
Your guy needs to have a part in this - he shouldn t start "thrusting" until he s sure that his penis is in the right place. He either needs to use his own hands to be sure, or having got roughly in the right pl... (read in full...)
Should I tell my relatives I'm gay???
Q. Im 17 years old and up until now i have never really dated a girl. Since i was about 11 or 12 i had tryed things with girls but never thought i could do it myself. My bestfriend now moved to my school and he was gay... i talked to him about my...
A. 7 March 2007: Things sounds like they are going well with you and you sound pretty happy with your new girlfriend.
I would just be open about it. No need to make a momentous occasion "grandad, I'm gay". Just say: "this is my partner X" and move on. Don't w... (read in full...)
Why do men vanish??
Q. Why are men really into you one minute and then all of a sudden you don't hear a thing from them, they don't call or reply to your text's twice this has happened to me completely out of the blue!...
A. 7 March 2007: I suppose if you go on a date with another guy in the future, you could say, in a really nice casual way, at the end of the date, that you have enjoyed yourself but you are not taking it for granted that he will decide that definitely wants to see ... (read in full...)
I feel so neglected by my partner, he seems to have time for everyone else but me!
Q. which is the best way to get your man to give you more attention? im feeling really neglected by my needs lately and everytime i tell him how i feel, he seems to run futher from me. He plays rugby, cricket and squash, he has kids, and it just seems ...
A. 7 March 2007: It is unclear whether he has recently been undertaking more time consuming activities, or whether he always has done so, since you first met him.
If he has always been busy and involved in all of these activities, then when you got together... (read in full...)
My bf's mom and older sister hate me for getting pregnant w/ my guy!! Help!
Q. I am 6 weeks pregnant, and my boyfriend's mom and older sister really hate me. They are angry at my boyfriend for getting me pregnant. ...
A. 3 March 2007: Assuming you just pressed the wrong box, and you are female, your age shows as you being in your twenties:
i.e. you are not a teenage pregnancy, too young to know better.
The feelings of your boyfriend's mother and sister are quite irrelevant... (read in full...)
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