I have friends and family in my life, but all I do is cry and feel alone. Please help.
Q. I still really need some help. Things have gotten to the point were all i do is cry. I just feel so lost and alone even though i have friends and family around. How ever i have not been able to talk to any of them. Not even my boyfriend as i feel as ...
A. 19 April 2007: If you cry for 6 hours without stopping at all, your eyes must be hugely puffy and red and you must be dehydrated.
How come your family, friends, and boyfriend don't notice? ... (read in full...)
How can I get the ball rolling between us? He's shy and we don't have much money, either!
Q. hey sorry this is so long! last month my friend told me he fancies me and i like him too. We text eachother everyday and see each other at work at a few days a week but because we are both shy, nothing is happening between us. Its so frustrating!!...
A. 18 April 2007: Say to him: "remember before I went on holiday, we said we'd meet up? do you still fancy the idea?"
When he nods or says yes, say something like: "well why don't we go for a walk in the park on Saturday lunchtime - I could bring a picnic" (that's... (read in full...)
She's had sex before we met, so I feel like cheating on her to make things even!
Q. I keep getting the urge to cheat to even things up for my girlfriend and I. She had sex before she met me. I know this feeling is wrong. I want to stop having this feeling. I just want to accept that whats in the past happened. What do I do?...
A. 18 April 2007: I think you need to understand something a bit more about why you're having what you have acknowledged to be a silly feeling.
Are you scared about relationships?
Relationships often trip up with issues relating to power and control - are yo... (read in full...)
I can't EVER have an orgasm with my boyfriend, Is there something wrong with me?
Q. I think there might be something wrong with me because i can't EVER have an orgasm with my boyfriend, doesn't matter what he does it just won't happen and its starting to make him feel bad.IT'l happen for me but i dont like to do it because it makes ...
A. 18 April 2007: A watched pot never boils.
The more you want an orgasm, the less likely it is to happen - a bit like those weird pictures you have to look at to see the real picture - the more you look, the less you can see the picture.
Enjoy the sex... (read in full...)
I have friends and family in my life, but all I do is cry and feel alone. Please help.
Q. I still really need some help. Things have gotten to the point were all i do is cry. I just feel so lost and alone even though i have friends and family around. How ever i have not been able to talk to any of them. Not even my boyfriend as i feel as ...
A. 18 April 2007: You don't cry ALL the time, do you? There are some times when you are not actually crying, aren't there? You don't cry non stop for 24 hours a day?
So that tells me that you are in a mood where you are telling yourself that you "cry all the time... (read in full...)
My brother-in-law is an alcoholic and it's ruining his and his family's lives - He's even crashed a car when drunk! How can I help him?
Q. Hello - I'm not actually having a problem myself, but my brother-in-law (I'll call him Sam) is and my husband and I would like to help. Sam is about to turn 21 and drinks every chance he gets since going away to college. Over the past few yea...
A. 18 April 2007: Only the person who has a drink problem can get themselves out of it. First they have to recognise that they have a problem, then they have to want to change, then they have to get help to change.
As he is young, it sounds like he hasn't y... (read in full...)
My husband insults me and seems to use me for sex! I found over 50 texts to another woman on his phone. What do I do?
Q. hi i need your help i have been marred for 3 years my husband never kisses me he says its because i smoked ,so i gave up.he allways pulls me down about what i wear i was 14 stone now im 9,and he still pulls me down.he says we will not go out on our ...
A. 18 April 2007: You're husband doesn't kiss you, he has quick thoughtless sex with you, he criticises you, he won't go out with you, and he is texting another woman, and you want to know what to do?
You are obviously an amazing woman - you gave up smoking,... (read in full...)
Any new ideas for bedroom "spice"?
Q. I feel like trying something new in the bedroom - any ideas of something exciting I could do for my man?!!...
A. 18 April 2007: Well it rather depends upon what you've done so far...... ... (read in full...)
Hubby visits prostitutes so I cheat on him with casual sex with other men! How can we stop this destructive path we are on?
Q. I need help... My husband of 13 years got found out a few months ago, he has been seeing prostitutes for 6 years every 2 weeks and each week he has been trawling the streets. We are going throught the councellng route and I have asked for help for ...
A. 18 April 2007: Actually your counsellor is right - it does stem from childhood - but that's not a very helpful thing to help you stop, is it?
What's probably happening is that you feel rejected and hurt by your husband. And so in order to make you feel spe... (read in full...)
Is there any law against cousins having a love relationship?
Q. can you please tell me if there is any law on first cousins being together and having a sexual relationship and if we could get married please help...
A. 18 April 2007: No, in the UK, there is no law against it. ... (read in full...)
Mom read my diary and now she's really 'off' with me! How do I handle this?
Q. i really need your help :0( i live away from home at university, when i came home for easter, i think my mum read my diary-i left it under my pillow and it was moved when i came back.it makes me feel sick the thought that she has read it-it has lots ...
A. 18 April 2007: You need to talk to your mother.
It was unacceptable for her to read your diary - you should ask her whether she did read it, and if so, why did she read it? (maybe she feels excluded from your life now you have gone away to university - does s... (read in full...)
I have depression and I need a counselor...any tips on finding one?
Q. Im suffering with depression and im looking for a good councellor to help resolve my issues.... can anyone give any information? please help x x...
A. 18 April 2007: Visit your GP, who can refer you to a counsellor, or if necessary to a psychaitrist or psychologist. If one cannot be provided free of charge, you could use health insurance or pay. ... (read in full...)
Why would he try and keep me if he has this new gf that she believes loves her? Should I give this up?
Q. I broke up with my bf of twelve years, last july. I had been grieving over a lost one and he found someone else to talk to...i found out, by mobile phone he left for me to find. Coward, but when we talked he said the L word about her. Obviously i ...
A. 18 April 2007: I don't understand why you would want to go back to this man - he has left you for someone else, mucked you about, and has been gone for quite a long time now, and is not treating you nicely at all.
You should decide to get on with your own life... (read in full...)
We are both bisexual, I've just discovered how many women hes slept with and its bugging me, hes done way more than me, I want to commit to him but at the same time want to experience more!!
Q. Hi, Im a 21 year old guy who up until a year ago thought I was straight. I have since managed to become attracted to a 30 year old guy and we have fallen in love. Everything I lived and thought before this relationship was real, and i know that....
A. 17 April 2007: He's 9 years older than you and it would be strange if at 31 he had not had any long term relationships - it might imply he had a commitment phobia or something.
You're only 21 and it would be strange if you had had similar long term relation... (read in full...)
Could semen on his hands been transfered inside of me, making me pregnant??
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together a year, and not too long since we started getting more "intimate". (sorry about the next bit it's kinda...graphic...) he's fingered me and licked me out, but we havn't had sex. Ever. I havn't come on my ...
A. 15 April 2007: It is possible, but it is unlikely.
He would only have had semen on his hands if he had already come and it was on his hands. I doubt he would then have continued to finger you after that.
To put your mind at rest, just buy a pregnancy test... (read in full...)
Most of my friends have had sex and I feel left out. What's wrong with me?
Q. I am 17 a virgin and I don't have much experience with guys. I do go out when I can with my friends to parties and stuff and I see guys that I like but I just don't get attention unless they are old perverted men or not out of primary school. It may ...
A. 15 April 2007: You say you don't have the willpower to lose weight. Really, it is easy to have the willpower if you have a strong desire to lose weight and the knowledge as to how to do it. A group like Weight Watchers can help, where they give you information ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on a person in a power position over me. He seems interested..how do I find out for sure?
Q. I have a crush on a person in a power position over me. I find myself thinking of him constantly. It would be risky for him to get involved with me. It appears to me that he is interested. How do I know for sure? Thanks, P....
A. 15 April 2007: You should not entertain the thought of going out with someone more senior at work.
It sounds like you are not quite sure whether he likes you or not. You don't really know him and as you say, it is a crush.
If you really really think tha... (read in full...)
I've had relationships with men for years and now I am having strong feelings for my female friend! Should I tell her?
Q. I have been friends with katy for 6yrs now and we tell each other everything and we are really close. We are both single and until she meet a guy afew wks ago neither of us was seeing anyone. Other the last 6months or so we have made jokes about not ...
A. 15 April 2007: You feel like this because you have a very close, very dear friend, and you are lonely.
The fact that you have kissed and been to bed together, but nothing has happened, probably means that nothing is going to happen.
It doesn't matter t... (read in full...)
He wants to know about previous bf's but I am not saying anything! Am i wrong in trying to keep these things from him?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been going out for seven months and we really love each other. am 19 and he's 23 but we wanna get married in the near future. my dilemma is that he asks me a lot of questions about my past and wants to know about every man i ...
A. 15 April 2007: I don't agree with the others, and think it depends upon what he is asking you.
There are some very healthy things which your current boyfriend should be able to talk to you about, with respect t your previous relationships: e.g.
* what have y... (read in full...)
I was dumb enough to fall for a married man and I can't trust what he tells me! What should I do?
Q. Ok, first of all I was dumb enough to fall in love with a man who is still married. No kids. He is in the process of settling the financial matters and says he has a solictor working out the figures. We agreed we wouldn't see each other until he ...
A. 15 April 2007: If I were you, I would assume that nothing will come of this at all. Do not wait for him and do not rely on him.
You have heard of "rebound relationships"? Well this would be one, even if it worked out. He has issues to deal with and needs to... (read in full...)
I want to try anal sex-what's a good lube to use?
Q. I don't how to put this so I'll be frank. I've wanted to try anal really badly for ages. He isn't very enthusiastic but has agreed to try it. What lube should I used etc? And his penis is quite large (10") could this be a problem?...
A. 15 April 2007: I highly recommend that you read this book first: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Ultimate-Guide-Anal-Women-Guides/dp/1573442216/ref=sr_1_1/203-7136226-8614343?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1176627667&sr=8-1
People usually don't just have anal intercou... (read in full...)
I let him know some do's and don'ts about dating and he's upset with me! Was I out of line?
Q. I met a guy at school and we've been hanging out when he confessed to me he like me and after 3 months of hanging out with him he told me he could see himself falling in love with me. We're just friends and I don't feel the same way about him. ...
A. 15 April 2007: Firstly, you don't seem to have dealt with his expression of desire towards you. When he said: "he could see himself falling in love with me" how did you handle the fact that you don't feel the same way about him? Did you explain why? Were you ... (read in full...)
Am I being too harsh to tell my gf to stop doing this thing that makes me very unhappy?
Q. My girlfriend is doing something that is making her happy and while im not happy and she wont quit because she loves doing it but it takes a lot of time out of being together but then she says she loves me more than anything... am i being to harsh ...
A. 15 April 2007: Was she doing this actvity when you met her?
Was she spending the same amount of time doing it then as now?
For example, let's suppose she is a golfer, and spends all day Saturday and all day Sunday playing golf, and on the other 5 week nig... (read in full...)
Would my friends think I'm gross if I tell them I might be bi-sexual?
Q. Hello I dont know if im bisexual and it worries and scares me so much. I know im not gay, but Im scared to experiment - would my friends hate me or think im gross? what if I am bi? And within a heterosexual relationship I will regret or miss the...
A. 24 March 2007: Your friends won't hate you or think you're gross.
Don't worry about this. Take life as it comes. ... (read in full...)
He ejaculated inside me as I was beginning my period..could I still get pregnant?
Q. hey everyone, this could be a really silly question but i need help, 2 weeks on friday i slept with this lad i kno but i was jus startin my period at the time i wasn't bleeding loads jus a little spots anyway i slept with him that nyt and he came ...
A. 15 March 2007: While you are at it, I suggest you get tested at the same time.
If you have unprotected sex with a guy, you can get a disease, including AIDS. Is that what you want?
Get tested and use protection next time. ... (read in full...)
He wants me take me to visit his father. What is his reason for doing this?
Q. i have this bf of mine who's inviting me this april to go with him in their hometown,he told me he wanted me to go with him on his fathers birthday. my question is: is he doing all this things coz he loves me and see me as his a good wife to be or ...
A. 15 March 2007: Why don't you just ask him why he wants to take you?
It could be alsorts of reasons - why guess at them?
examples - his parents might be pressuring him to show he has a girlfriend; his parents might be very annoying and your presence will di... (read in full...)
After anal sex I bleed--is this normal or should I get to a doctor...quickly??
Q. i have this really embarassing problem, well actually theres 2 problems. I have all these spots around my bottom and can't seem to get rid of them, i've tried creams and everything, it's very off putting. Another problem i have is that my boyfre...
A. 15 March 2007: No, it's not normal to bleed after anal sex and not normal to bleed on the toilet.
Anytime anyone has bleeding from their bottom, they should go to see their doctor (don't worry you don't need to say you had anal sex, but even if you do, he or sh... (read in full...)
Am I being a hypocrite???
Q. Dear Cupid am I being a hypocrite? I am 19 years old and dating a 45 year old man (3 wonderful weeks). Our relationship is very healthy and happy and wonderful and I couldn't ask for better. My younger cousin Elise is 18 and has been dating ...
A. 15 March 2007: I didn't make any assumptions - I asked a very simple question as to why you both were attracted to older men.
Your strong response to the asking of that question strikes me as a little defensive. What are you being defensive about? Why is t... (read in full...)
Is it normal NOT to enjoy open mouthed kissing?
Q. Right, Aunts. I just wanted to know if it is normal not to enjoy open-mouth kissing? Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a month now and we still haven't kissed properly. Neither of us think it is exactly romantic but it does seem wei...
A. 15 March 2007: I had a partner who would only kiss DURING sex - not at any other time.
If you don't enjoy it, it is worth thinking about whether you feel nice & clean in your mouth - it's not nice to kiss someone after they have smoked, eaten strong tasting ... (read in full...)
Why do guys like 'bumming' (anal sex) their gf's?
Q. Hello Everyone. May I ask, what is that men like about bumming there girlfriends? My boyfriend keeps asking me, I’ve told it hurts and there no way! He respects this but it doesn’t stop him from asking. Is he Gay? ...
A. 15 March 2007: Wanting to have anal sex has nothing to do with being gay. Don't worry about that!
Not being a man myself, I don't have firsthand knowledge as to why they like it so much, but my understanding is that it just gives them another type of sensatio... (read in full...)
I'm a woman and the thought of gay men having intercourse really excites me, is this normal?
Q. I'm a 30 year old woman and the thought of gay men having intercourse really excites me. Is that normal? Seems kind of wierd to me, but I can't help feeling that way. I enjoy the thought of women being together as well, but not as much as the ...
A. 15 March 2007: It's not weird at all. Don't worry about it.
By the way, I don't agree with the previous poster "Ask Heather" who has expressed some negative views about anal sex which apparently are untrue. There's a book called "A woman's guide to anal sex... (read in full...)
Why am I like this? Why am I so clingy and dependant?
Q. I'm clingy. If I have seen my boyfriend for a few days/nights in a row I get upset when I don't see him the next day. I'm so clingy and I get really upset. Why am I so dependant. I also go the other way as well, if he hasn't slept over for a few ...
A. 15 March 2007: Well it sounds like you have fears of being abandoned - that is to say, when your boyfriend is out of sight, you feel panicky, as if you will lose him.
When you haven't seen him for a while, you begin to create an independence for yourself... (read in full...)
Am I being a hypocrite???
Q. Dear Cupid am I being a hypocrite? I am 19 years old and dating a 45 year old man (3 wonderful weeks). Our relationship is very healthy and happy and wonderful and I couldn't ask for better. My younger cousin Elise is 18 and has been dating ...
A. 15 March 2007: Yes, you are being hypocritical.
Second, you are only 1 year older than her, and what gives you the right to tell her (unasked) what you think of her relationship? She will not thank you.
Third, what do you think a 45 year old is doing wit... (read in full...)
Is honesty really the best policy? Sometimes I wonder?
Q. I am extremely sensitive when it comes to values. If i have done or achieved something based on a lie, i become quite disturbed untill i tell the truth. If not, i constantly live in the fear of getting caught some day for the lie and this is fear is ...
A. 15 March 2007: You should do your best never to lie, particularly for the reason you mentioned - which is that it feels bad and is hard work.
"What a web of lies we weave when we practice to deceive". Sometimes you have to keep on lying when you lie and can'... (read in full...)
Online friend moved here before we met and now-I find I'm not attracted to him! What should I do?
Q. I started talking to this man on the internet in November and we seemed to have alot in common....He felt he met the person of his dreams. I liked him very much but he lived in Florida. He decided life is too short and since we had so much in ...
A. 15 March 2007: He has made rather a mistake and you're not responsible for his mistake.
It's not totally clear from your message, but he didn't move in with you did he? You say: "I am not happy with him here"?
If he has moved in with you, you'll have... (read in full...)
He chatted to this girl on the net, we live together and I can't get over it!
Q. I happened to look at my bf's laptop yesterday and saw a chat with some girl (he saisd she was some random girl who added him to her contact list), HE initiated the chat, asked her if she had a webcam, she said she was sorry she didn't. Then they ...
A. 14 March 2007: It's good that your bf talked to you about what was bothering him - that is really good.
He says he wants reassurance from you and you say you have given it, but he still doesn't feel reassured does he?
He is responding to that by giving y... (read in full...)
He dumped me because he said I was too childish!
Q. my boyfriend dumped me yesterday. we've bin on and of for the past year. he says its because im too childish (im 16, hes 19) and because i dont know him anymore! but because he wont let me. we had sex three times and each time afterwards i would ...
A. 14 March 2007: Well he is a little bit older than you - he might have just said that he felt that perhaps he should go out with someone his old age - the fact that he said you were "childish" just shows that he is NOT ADEPT with word and NOT VERY CARING in how he ... (read in full...)
I am really worried my bf thinks I am cheating!!
Q. Hi, Last night my bf got a text and he said it came from my phone. Thing was it was not the kinda thing id text (he didnt tell me what it said just it was rude, and not in a good way) Thing is i didnt send the text and cant see how anyone else coul...
A. 14 March 2007: Well just tell him what you told us.
Have you asked him exactly what time it says it was sent? I do also think he should show you exactly what was said in the text message.
Maybe someone could have used your phone when you were at work and... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting now that hes dumped me ?
Q. i no this might sound a bit stupid but ive liked this guy for ages when i finally got with him i loved every moment and evrything about him but he dumped me just a few days later. now i feel heartbroken am i over reacting? i think about him all the ...
A. 14 March 2007: I'm so sorry for you.
Of course you're upset - you've been rejected. And what's worse, you can't have what you really wanted..... him.
You've seen a child screaming in the shop, when the mother won't let the child have the ice cream he wan... (read in full...)
Why do I feel so overweight when I only want to lose 5lbs?
Q. I think something's wrong with me. Recently I haven't been hungry at all, so I have to force myself to eat so no one is worried. All I can think about is my weight and how I really want to lose just 5 pounds. My friends and family tell me I'm ...
A. 14 March 2007: In our society, as women when we feel badly about ourselves for some reason, we often sense that as feeling fat.
Honestly, I'm a pretty well adjusted person, and when I feel great I can stand in front of the mirror and think what a great fi... (read in full...)
His story sounds pretty far fetched to me, what do you think?
Q. i dont know why i get suspicious and i probably shouldnt my b/f was driving home and called me and it was about 10:30 at night..he arrived home b/c i heard him speaking to family members in the house..i said i would call later on...i called ab...
A. 14 March 2007: I am a firm believer in talking to your partner about your concerns, rather than keeping them to yourself.
Is this the only example of something which is making you worried? Or do you have other examples?
Why don't you say to your partner ... (read in full...)
He chatted to this girl on the net, we live together and I can't get over it!
Q. I happened to look at my bf's laptop yesterday and saw a chat with some girl (he saisd she was some random girl who added him to her contact list), HE initiated the chat, asked her if she had a webcam, she said she was sorry she didn't. Then they ...
A. 14 March 2007: I think if he is chatting up girls online, he has some kind of problem with your relationship, and you need to find out what that is if the relationship is to survive.
Can you drop your upset about what he has done for a while (which is after al... (read in full...)
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