A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi, my wife recently lost a very close family member. Well all i've tryed to do over this past week is be there for her but now that the funeral is over she is worse than she was before. Everytime i ask her how shes feeling she keeps saying shes fine and that when shes upset that it will pass. I hate seeing her like this and when i see her like it all i want to do is cuddle her but the problem is i havent been well this past 5/6 days and i can't bare anyone near me (really close) therefore i can't seem to be able to hold her or anything. I feel so guilty becuase of this i know i can't help the fact that i'm ill and it's not as if i don't want to cuddle her or anything becuase i do i just can't do it at the moment. I hate laying there at night in bed and knowing that she's next to me and virtually crying herself to sleep and theres nothing i can do. I've told her the reason i can't do everything i should for her and she says she knows i can't help it and understands and knows that the minute i start to feel better i will be there for her alot more. Is there any advice you can give me on how to make her feel better and be there for her without having to cuddle her. (i know that sounds selfish but believe me i just can't bare anyone next to me. Please help i feel so useless for being like this i know she needs me but theres just nothing that i can do. Please Please help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2007): I cant imagine what illness would make a person unable to cuddle or touch their partner. It is sometimes hard to realise that you are not the centre of attention but get over it, stop being selfish and start being there for your wife. She has lost someone that she will never get to see again....EVER....you have felt a little unwell for 6 days, IM afraid your illness pales in comparison!!!!
I lost my Grandmother 2 weeks ago and I would be devastated if I thought that my husband couldnt put aside what he was feeling to help me
A
female
reader, chachacha +, writes (8 March 2007):
Can you hold her hand? Can you rub her feet?
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A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 This really saddens me there are two people here who obviously love each other so much and cant help eachother. You cant cuddle her and she cant make you. But yet you seem to care so much for her. Can you even hold her hand or stroke her hair. She knows you care for her and you need to keep telling her. Are you getting any help for your condition? Could you try a little harder to get yourself sorted as she really needs you now. I bet she was there for you when you were ill. Push yourself to your limit to get better.
Aunty t
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (8 March 2007):
 In this case you should put how YOU feel aside, ill nor not and CUDDLE YOUR WIFE!!! You must be getting better now and she's crying out for some TLC. Give her the cuddle she so needs!
Eve
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