A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so this problem is very embarrasing for me. I was 19 and a virgin, My girlfriend was 17 and wasn't. When we finnally decided to have sex, this may sound daft but I put all my concentration into not cumming straight away because I wanted her to enjoy herself as well. In the end I didnt at all, I put it down to nerves, the problem is we are 4 months down the line now and I still can't ejaculate, and I think subconciously its because I don't want to and it's becoming frustrating, does anyone have any ideas how to get over this? how I can relax more etc? thanks for any help in advance
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male
reader, BenQ +, writes (9 March 2007):
 Oh god, this sounds EXACTLY like what I used to be like.
I have a problem when I'm having sex where I worry too much about the partner, if they're enjoying it enough, am i too going too hard, what if i cum early and disappoint them etc.
You need to let go, and have sex for the feeling, the enjoyment, the emotion of being together.
You need to lose all your worries and thoughts, and just enjoy the art of love making, get your girl to scream and moan if she's willing, it helped my confidence, because you know she's enjoying herself, you can too.
All will work out, with time.
BenQ
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (7 March 2007):
 Learning to let go is such a hard thing to do and the root to stopping is to work out what makes you hold back during sex. Most guys have something they think about during sex to stop them coming, maybe their naked granny or something? I don't know wht yours is but you need to be able to adapt it. For example if you use your naked granny to stop yourself coming use that for a while and then, when you're ready to come start thinking about your naked girlfriend. Give it a try and I hope it works. And as missblondie says try and chat to your girlfriend about it too because I was once with a guy with the same problem and nothing makes you feel as unsexy as not being able to make your guy come. She probably needs reassurance as much as you do.
CD
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2007): Why don't you try a little more foreplay? That should help you both to relax.
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