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... Send *d206 a private message | | | *d206's profile:Hi, my name is Cat and I'm 22 years old. I live in various cities in the UK since the city where I study and where my family live are different. I'm currently just out of a relationship and enjoying the single life for a while. I don't know that I am qualified to help people but I'd like to try. I've had a lot of experiences in my life and despite being quite young I'm always helping my friends with their problems. I'd like the chance to help all of you too. Feel free to private message me anytime.If you do however, please include some details of your problem as I answer a lot here and can't always remember specific problems. With big hugs, Cat xx |
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How can I look less nervous without having a face transplant? Any suggestions?
Q. A friend of mine commented that I always look nervous, although I don't necessarily feel that way. I wonder if this is putting guys off, because although I am told I am a wonderful person, men never approach me. How can I look less nervous without ...
A. 4 April 2007: Why not smile more? Smiling actually tenses all your face muscles which shouldn't make you feel like you're putting on an act, while it'll also make you look relaxed.
CD... (read in full...)
He says I'm too quiet in the bedroom... I want to show more appreciation, but how?!
Q. My guy says I'm too quiet in the bedroom--so much so that he sort of looses his train of thought and feels like he's wasting his time when we're physical together! He's talked to me about it, and I've just said I like to be able to relax and not put ...
A. 4 April 2007: My advice to your question depends on one thing only. Are you trying to be quiet when you have sex out of fear of being overheard or embarassed? If so go with your natural instincts a bit more. You'll enjoy sex much more if you relax. However if ... (read in full...)
It started off as flirting now I'm really attracted to him, do you think he feels the same ?
Q. I began working with this man several months ago. We clicked immediatly, had lunch, breaks, shared personal info about each other, made each other laugh, serioulsy laugh. All of the body language of interest is there. Anyway you get the point. ...
A. 4 April 2007: If he's not in a serious relationship then he has the choice to end his current relationship with very little problem. I would think if he was deadset on being with you he would already have done that. Don't do anything with him until he finishes ... (read in full...)
We broke up after dating for 2 years 3 weeks ago.. shes asked to met for lunch, is it too soon to be "just friends" ?
Q. My ex-girlfriend of nearly two years broke up with me 3 weeks ago... She is my first love and first long term relationship. We were high school sweethearts and have been 2 hours apart during college semeters. We saw each other about once a wee...
A. 4 April 2007: I think she has an ulterior motive for asking you out for lunch. Unfortunately it is too soon to be friends unless you're both super laid back people but it sounds to me like you both overthink things and it'd be too soon. Tell her you'd love to ... (read in full...)
Why do men expect me to pay thier way when they find out my occupation!?
Q. Hello, I have a question. I'm not sure exactly how to ask it, but I am 20 years old, and typically go out to bars and such with my sister where sometimes I meet men. When asked about my occupation, the men tend to make jokes about me becoming ...
A. 4 April 2007: Are you sure you're not just being oversensitive about this? It seems guys are saying it as a joke or a talking point, not that they're actually making you pay on dates. Nobody can make you anyway. It's a personal choice whether to pay for the other ... (read in full...)
I know who I would like to ask me to the Prom, worried I will be dateless, so should I ask him ?
Q. My school's Prom is April 28th. I know who I would like to ask, but I don't even know if he likes me or if he already has a date. I'm worried that no one will ask me and I'll be dateless for Prom. Should I wait for him to ask? Or, should I ask him ...
A. 4 April 2007: Ask him! It's the 21st century. We don't need to wait for guys to ask us out anymore. And think about it, the very worst thing that could happen is that he'll say no which will mean you're embarassed for a few seconds but then you get over it and if ... (read in full...)
Im considering becoming a prostitute as I fear its the only way out of my debt!!
Q. I'm so desperate for money right now, I owe so much out, I've been having thoughts that my only way out is prostitution. I really don't want to do this, is there any way round this? I need money asap and really have no other choice. Is it dangerous ...
A. 3 April 2007: Call the citizens advice bureau. They can put you in touch with someone who can help you sort out your debts without having to prostitute yourself.
CD... (read in full...)
I live with my boyfriend but I can't stop thinking about his friend...
Q. i currently live with my boyfriend, and i love him, but i cant stop thinking about his friend. ever since i saw his friend, ive been hooked. and i met him before i met my boyfriend, but i couldnt go for him because he had a gf at the time. i need to ...
A. 2 April 2007: If you love your boyfriend and are happy in your relationship then you'll be fine. See this guy as just a case of the grass is always greener. If you're not happy in your relationship we're talking about a different issue but I think you just need ... (read in full...)
My friends used to always be there for me, I messed up a little lately and they ignore me! How do I get them back ?
Q. So here's the thing,my friends use to be on my side,used to support me and care for me. But nowlets just say that i messed up a lil(I couldn't control my emotions n i'm easily jealous) and they kinda ignore me now/ Which sucks. Please help....
A. 2 April 2007: All you can really do is apologise for your past behaviour and hope they forgive you. If they were ever real friends they will.
CD... (read in full...)
She's having an abortion...don't I have a say in this? What should I do?
Q. judgement day .. my 22 year old girl says she will have an abortion on Wednesday. Her parents are acting suspicious as to the fact that she is pregnant. She is a christian(pentecostal family) she says she will do it. I am also christian. We don't ...
A. 1 April 2007: You should definitely try again if you feel so strongly about the baby but you also need to realise that the final decision does rest with her and there's nothing you can do if the decision has been made. However, sounds like it would be worth a ... (read in full...)
How does one know when you have fallen in love or not?
Q. How do you know when you have fallen in love or not?...
A. 1 April 2007: This may sound like the most rubbish answer in the world but you just will. Love is indescribable and if you doubt you're in love then you're not.
CD... (read in full...)
My partner is depressed and getting angry and emotional!!
Q. dear agony aunts, My boyfriend and i have been together for 2 and a half years and have a 3 month old baby together, however. We have recently been having problems because my partner is depressed because of things he has on his mind. He gets a...
A. 1 April 2007: I think you're right to be putting your and your baby's safety first. I also think you're right to want to save the relationship for your baby's sake. I'm just not sure right now if you can do both those things simultaneously. Have you spoken to him ... (read in full...)
Should I dump him and completely rip his heart out.. or stay in it for longer and see what happens?
Q. My long-distance-boyfriend is having a hard time. His parents recently disowned him, and he just had about 5,000 dollars stolen from his bank account. Our two year anniversary is coming up in July and everytime it hink about it my stomach kind of ...
A. 31 March 2007: It sounds from your post like you're not sure whether you do want out or not. I think you have to be totally sure before you break up with him because otherwise you could realise you'd made a terrible mistake but by then you wouldve lost him ... (read in full...)
Such nasty rumours spread about me, does everyone have to deal with rumours like these ?
Q. ok so....loads of girls where i live dont like me....i dnt no y but they dont! i just heard 2nite that there are rumours going around sayin im a slag and sleep with every1 but thats not true! im thinking its maybe cause (not bein big headed!!!) i ...
A. 31 March 2007: You're right. You're all too old for this schoolgirl behaviour. Just an observation though.... To get away with acting like this these girls need to be able to act like theyre still in school and make you feel bad about yourself. My bet is that if ... (read in full...)
I love him so much but I dont know if im being used. Any advice?
Q. there is a lad i use to go ut with during school, he was my first love and ive never really got over him, we went our seperate ways and lately weve been texting i fell pregnant by my boyfirend at the time but it didnt last and i slept with my ex tom ...
A. 31 March 2007: I think it's quite telling that you don't mention anywhere that he came over to watch a dvd or you went out for a meal or anything. You just say you've had sex three times. Sounds like that's al the relationship is to him but maybe he thinks that's ... (read in full...)
We fought, split up and got back together a lot. The last split was final..how can I move on?
Q. How do I Move on with my Life After an Intense Relationship? I met this man last August and we soon became capitivated with each other. By September he had moved into my apartment. He is 9 years younger than myself. We are both going to the sam...
A. 30 March 2007: It's the hardest thing in the world to have to get over the end of a relationship that you didn't want to happen but the sad truth of it is that the person who wants out of the relationship always gets their own way. Don't rush moving forward. After ... (read in full...)
We have been together for 5 years, But I still cant orgasm!!!
Q. When I have sex with my boyfriend I do not orgasm, infact I have never had an orgasm.I feel as though I get realy close but then it passes and then i just have an overly sensative feeling and this is uncomfortable. Its not just intercourse its when ...
A. 30 March 2007: I'm not sure if this is exactly advice, it's more of an observation. Do you think that maybe you've become so focused on having an orgasm that you're concentrating on it too much? I'd say it might be worth a try to stop worrying about whether you ... (read in full...)
He said he only slept with her because he was high! Is that really a valid reason ??
Q. My boyfriend slept with someone else! And now our relationship is over. I asked him why he did it and he said because he was high - Look, i know that alcohol and drugs can make you lose your inhibitions and judgement, but is this really a valid ...
A. 30 March 2007: A lot of people do lose complete control of themselves when they're drunk or high on drugs but I still don't think that's a good excuse. He's bound to know how drink and drugs make him feel and how there was a risk he might lose him inhibitions. ... (read in full...)
Im in love with a married women, Ive always proffessed to being straight, How can I come out and admit Im gay ?
Q. i am a female and for the last 6 months i have been in a secret relationship with a married women. I love her and she loves me, but as someone who has always been straight how can i possibly come out and admit my love...
A. 30 March 2007: I'm not sure if the issue here is that you're gay to be honest. If you're unhappy in your marriage you owe it to yourself to get out before you're tied down by kids or joint mortgages or whatever. The main issue to me seems to be that you're both ... (read in full...)
My current BF has become uncomfortbale with me seeing my Ex, hes making me choose!!
Q. I have an ex bf whom I am friends with. We talk on the phone sometimes and have dinner or coffee sometimes. We have not been a couple for 6yrs. My current bf whom I have been with for 9months has a problem with my friendship with my ex. He feels ...
A. 29 March 2007: Well it seems there are other things that could be tried before having to make a choice. Why not inlude your boyfriend on your next date with your ex. Then he can see there's no ulterior motive or anything going on. If that's not an option then I ... (read in full...)
The girl in my class keeps saying she wants to kiss me but never does! What shoud I do ?
Q. hi I am a boy and there is this girl in my class and she keeps on saying that she wants to kiss me, but she never does. What should i do. Please help....
A. 29 March 2007: Next time she says she wants to kiss you just say "Well hurry up then because I'm getting nervous waiting" Hopefully she'll get the right idea.
CD... (read in full...)
Ive been with him 7 months, things are fab, except his job is so stressful, is it right to ask him to look for another ?
Q. I've been dating this guy for about 7 months. He's great and I love him a lot. Problem is his job. He quit his last job because of stress, which I can understand. But his new job has him with a crazy schedule and leaves us absolutely no time for ...
A. 29 March 2007: You can't tell him to do it but if you suggest it in the right way you might be able to get him thinking. However, you need to be sure that the reason you're doing it is because you're worried about him, not you or your relationship. Next time he ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and when I masturbate...is the mild ache in my lower stomach a sign of something wrong?
Q. I'm 9 Weeks pregnet with my first child. I used my vibrator (not going in) to plesure myself but when I have an orgrasm it feels like it normally does but its accompanied by a mild ache in my lower stomach. Is this a sign that it could have hurt me ...
A. 28 March 2007: When you have an orgasm, pregnant or not pregnant, your womb often contracts slightly. That's why doctors advise women with high risk pregnancies to avoid sex at certain stages of the pregnancy. It's best to ask your doctor if you're concerned, or ... (read in full...)
Are anti-depressants bad for you?
Q. I went to the doctors yesterday because I was feeling really tired all the time and really down. He prescribed me anti-depressants and I started taking them last night. My housemate went nuts and told me they were really bad for me but I think I ...
A. 28 March 2007: Personally I think doctors give out anti-depressants far too easily when they should recommend more counselling and dealing with problems instead of cutting yourself off from them. The main problem with them is that they do stop you from feeling the ... (read in full...)
I have a disability, I think its holding me back due to what people might be thinking!
Q. I know a disability shouldn't stop you from meeting people, and I know people are alright with it when I tell them, but I have a subconscious feeling that they may not like me as I can't do stuff that other people can...
A. 28 March 2007: I'm not sure from your question whether you're referring to meeting friends or love interests but I suppose my advice would be the same anyway. You need to try and stop thinking that they may not like you. People can pick up on the signals that ... (read in full...)
Im in love with someone, How can I get them to notice me ?
Q. Im in love with Someone But i just dont know how to make them know im here and notice me Its like I dont exist What do i do to get them to see me ?...
A. 27 March 2007: Have you tried talking to this person? That's usually the quickest solution.
CD... (read in full...)
I Finally left my alcoholic Husband! Hes been begging me to go back saying he will change, What should I do!?
Q. I did it! I left my bitter alcoholic husband this past weekend. It's only been 2 days and he's already calling me constantly begging for forgiveness and saying that he'll do what ever it takes to get me and the kids back. I want to believe him, ...
A. 27 March 2007: The problem with any addicts is that it's easy to say these things and not so easy to actually do it. Tell him you need to see proof before you can trust him again. He must get medical help and go to AA meetings and give you money to support your ... (read in full...)
Anyway know how I can get a healthy glow without streaking or turning orange!
Q. I'm extremely pale, I don't tan at all, and especially now I'm probably at my palest. A couple of people have being somethings at school.. such as that I shouldn't stand next to a wall (white walls in our school) because I would blend in, and rand...
A. 27 March 2007: pa- always exfoliate and moisturise before using it because it keeps your skin on an even level so it doesn't go streaky. Sorry, I should have put that in the above post.
CD... (read in full...)
Anyway know how I can get a healthy glow without streaking or turning orange!
Q. I'm extremely pale, I don't tan at all, and especially now I'm probably at my palest. A couple of people have being somethings at school.. such as that I shouldn't stand next to a wall (white walls in our school) because I would blend in, and rand...
A. 27 March 2007: Tinted moisturiser is quite expensive. The best one is the Holiday Sun one. It's sometimes on offer in Superdrug for about a fiver a bottle though. You get a lot for that. It only goes streaky if you don't rub it in properly.
CD... (read in full...)
My husband changed his mind about kids and says to wait 5 years for him to decide! What if he decides "no"?!
Q. Before my husband and I got married, we decided we didn't want to have children. Then last fall I ended up getting pregnant even though I was on birth control. We both decided we were going to keep the baby and were even pretty excited about it - ...
A. 26 March 2007: Tell him you will wait five years for a yes but you're not wasting your time if it will be a no. The truth is that although it's good he's thinking carefully about whether he wants children or not, he has time on his side whereas you don't. ... (read in full...)
Is kissing classed as cheating ? Should I end this relationship ?
Q. hiya im really confused and need some advice, the other day me and my boyfriend of a year n half with a child went out for the night, we were stopping in a hotel so it was an all nighter, half way throught he night we had an argument over nothing ...
A. 26 March 2007: Cheating is whatever you both think it is. Personally I could forgive a kiss but nothing more but everyone is different. However, the fact you have a child together means you have to make an extra effort to forgive him, not for either of your ... (read in full...)
Been together nine months and havent said I love you, or met his kids ? Is this long enough to wait ?
Q. Hi Im feeling quite emotional at the moment I have a bf who is great and we get on really well and enjoy spending time together our relationship was long distance at the begining but now hes closer and all together weve been going out abo...
A. 26 March 2007: If you feel that you love him say it. If he doesn't say it back put it down to his issues and don't take it to heart. As for the missing each other thing, men find it so much harder than women to show their feelings so quite likely he does miss you ... (read in full...)
When I turn 18, am I entitled to the right to care of my brother ?
Q. Hi everyone I really need help i am in a hard spot right now...i am 17 years old i will be 18 tuesday,and my brother is 16 years old.. Yesterday i went to pick my brother up so he can hangout with me and when i was taking him home he started crying, ...
A. 26 March 2007: You need to take legal advice if you and your fiance are sure you can handle this. I don't know what the law is in the US but if it's similar to here then your dad has to relinquish custody to you if he's willing for your brother to live with you ... (read in full...)
His kids are causing problems in our relationship, Am I being selfish !?
Q. Please help. My relationship of 2 years is about to crash because he has children from a previous relationship. We have always argued over his children as they were very spoilt and ungrateful. Just recently we have been arguing because his children ...
A. 26 March 2007: First of all you need to know that you're not allowed to criticise his children. Only he is. You can dislike them in private but to him and his children you need to present a positive and happy front brecause the way he will see it is that it's not ... (read in full...)
My GF is very insecure about me seeing her naked! How can I give her some confidence as I think shes fab!!
Q. How can i help my gf to be more confident in the way she looks. She doesn't like me seeing her fully naked becuase she reckons that she doesn't look as nice as other girls, she hasn't got very big breasts and this is one of the things shes worried ...
A. 26 March 2007: I think the key is to take this very slowly indeed. Every day compliment her on something. It neednt just be her body but her clothes or the way she wears her hair too. It's not apparent if you're having sex with her from your post but if you're not ... (read in full...)
Should I take her back, even thought it hurts that when we split she slept with her ex ?
Q. i have been dating my gf for 3 years and before me she had an ex bf who she had sex with..she was my first by the way..we recently broke up and have been for about 3 months..during this time she was reunited with her ex bf..he got her drunk one ...
A. 26 March 2007: It depends if you feel you can trust her. Technically she didn't do anything wrong. You were broken up and she was free to have sex with whoever she wants to. However you can't get back together with her unless you can get past what went on when you ... (read in full...)
Ive been raped before and sex with my partner is always painful, anything I can do to make easier ?
Q. i never get ready to accpet my boyfriend when having sex and I am always very dry what can i do. I was raped the first time and ever since then i cant make love without any pain. Are there any drugs that would work ?...
A. 26 March 2007: Taking drugs to solve this problem would be silly if you haven't tried other things first. How about KY Jelly or some other form of lubricant? Or maybe get even further to the root of the problem and have some counselling to come to terms with your ... (read in full...)
Im feeling so ill since he told me he wasnt " in Love" with me, how will I ever get over this ??
Q. i have been seeing a fella now for six months though we do know each other many years. we are both separated and going through transitions but he now holds my heart, at the weekend he told me he loves me but not in love with me and i am ill over it. ...
A. 26 March 2007: You need to realise that six months isn't long enough for some people to be in love with their partners. For some people it takes a longer time and more effort before they can feel it. Your ex sounds like a great guy because at least he could admit ... (read in full...)
I'm really not sure how far to go and how to deal with my girlfriends fear of sex!?
Q. I've been with my current GF for a few months now. When we first started dating she told me that she found sex scary and that she was a little freaked by the concept, and that she wouldn't be able to be as sexually active as I might have liked. I...
A. 26 March 2007: You sound like the most reasonable boyfriend in the world but I get the feeling there's something your girlfriend isn't telling you here. Well done for being so patient and understanding but ask her why she feels like this. Maybe she knows and maybe ... (read in full...)
Is this relationship saveable ?
Q. My girl friend says her love for me has diminished though she admits i have been a very good boy friend to her since we started the relationship about a year ago, she does not call most often as she use to, she also says she now finds another ...
A. 26 March 2007: The only way to save a relationship is if both people want to save it. If she wants out then the relationship will end anyway. The best thing you can do is get out before she totally ruins your self confidence. She's made it clear that there's ... (read in full...)
He seems to think he has a right to look at his ex's mail. What do you think ?
Q. my BF and I were at his ex's house picking up his son and she wasn't home. I felt strange going in but they both asked me to as they didn't see it as a problem. while in her house, my ex proceeded to look through her mail and stuff she had laying ...
A. 26 March 2007: I think you're right. He doesn't have a right to go through her things. However, I'm not sure you have the right to tell him not to. It's her things he's going through and therefore her responsibility to tell him he's not to do that. However if he's ... (read in full...)
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