A
female
age
36-40,
*ittlelady2007
writes:Hello, I have a question. I'm not sure exactly how to ask it, but I am 20 years old, and typically go out to bars and such with my sister where sometimes I meet men. When asked about my occupation, the men tend to make jokes about me becoming their "sugar momma", and sometimes, they do expect me to pay their way when they find out my occupation.I am rather young, at 20 years old, for being self-employed, but I don't think it's a free ticket for men to get out of having to pay half the time or even SOME of the time. In fact, most expect me to pay ALL of the time.I met a man one time and even fibbed about my employment; stating that I was currently umemployed, as I didn't want to be hassled with another man only interested in my wallet.When did times change so dramatically? Where is the best place to meet men that aren't like this? Obviously meeting men at bars or restaurants is not the place to look for a stable companion; as I've had no luck.I am sorry as I have many questions tied into this post, but I am just so frustrated with this entire situation.What would you do, if you were in my shoes?Any advice would be greatly appreciated.~littlelady Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (4 April 2007):
 Hi,
Why do you tell them what you do anyway. If you only just met a person its none of their bussiness is it?.
Its sounds to me like you enjoy them knowing you are well off, but dont want the backlash.
Dont get me wrong, if I had done so well at your age I would be the same, and make the same mistake no doubt. You have to be more carefull who you tell.
Try telling them you work for you parents, when you get to know them. That will still be a good cover of why you have money, but will also mean that you dont control it.
Once you get to like a man you can then tell him the truth.
I am a strong believer that you will meet someone where you least ecxpect it.
Just have fun for now.
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (4 April 2007):
 Are you sure you're not just being oversensitive about this? It seems guys are saying it as a joke or a talking point, not that they're actually making you pay on dates. Nobody can make you anyway. It's a personal choice whether to pay for the other person although I don't buy into the theory that the man should always pay either. I think the best thing to do in your situation is laugh and tell them you're sure the novelty of being a kept man would wear off pretty quickly. If you see it as a joke, so will they, regardless of whether or not that's the way they meant it.
CD
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2007): Little Lady, you are certainly meeting the wrong kind of men. Surely your business brings you into contact with single men who are not after a free drink or meal. They must have their own favourite spots to go, etc. Find out where they are. And maybe your sister is not the best "chum" for you to be with in these things. (?)
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