I just found out my bf was married but separated, yet JUST signed divorce papers!
Q. Before anyone makes any assumptions, here's the background story: I've been dating my boyfriend for about 2 years. The first few months he lived at home with his parents to catch up on debts. I would stay over all the time, and no one in his famil...
A. 12 June 2010: Female Anonymous answer below,
You have a right to disagree, but while you do so, do your research.
It does not matter that you are "separated", if you have not completely terminated, finalized the divorce by law, you are STILL LEGALLY married.... (read in full...)
How can I win over his mother?
Q. Hi, I am 26 and my boyfriend is 31. He's Muslim and I'm Christian. I am learning Arabic and plan to convert to Islam. We have been together for over a year. We have been seriously discussing marriage recently. He plans to introduce me to ...
A. 1 June 2010: There's really not much that you can do, except be yourself,be respectful & be honest w/ her. Just be the person that you are, you can change SOME things for your boyfriend/future husband to be- but not his mother, that should be the limit. ... (read in full...)
I just found out my bf was married but separated, yet JUST signed divorce papers!
Q. Before anyone makes any assumptions, here's the background story: I've been dating my boyfriend for about 2 years. The first few months he lived at home with his parents to catch up on debts. I would stay over all the time, and no one in his famil...
A. 1 June 2010: Hi Hun :)
Let me be very honest. You say that "Never had I asked him if he used to be married, so it's not as if he lied to me."
Sweetheart, an UNSPOKEN lie, is STILL A LIE nonetheless. No excuse for that! He KNEW that he was STILL MARRIED. Y... (read in full...)
Why do I blame myself...?
Q. Why do i blame myself for past physical and sexual abuse that i went through even though i didnt ask for it? :( why am i sitting with all the pain and hurt?...
A. 28 May 2010: It's not easy to handle all the feelings that come with being abused, I know how you feel because I was abused sexually/physically also. And above all that we can tell you, you have to believe for your own self...that it was not your fault at all. ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel like shit over something SHE said?
Q. I don't really know how to go about this but here goes anyways. Ok, so I have this friend that I started hanging out with more and more recently. We hit a rough spot and got evicted from our apartment and she is letting is stay with her and her ...
A. 25 September 2009: You feel that way because she did say some really disgusting things. And I'd feel the same if it happened to me.
Yes, it was wrong to go through her things, but at least now you know the truth about her & the lies she's spreading about you. She... (read in full...)
My boyfriend gets mad if I wear matching bra and panties when he is gone
Q. My boyfriend gets mad at me for wearing panties and bras that match when I am not with him. Is this out of line? We have been together for almost two years. I have never been unfaithful to ANYONE. HE has....
A. 25 September 2009: Not right at all. I mean, does it really matter? Women wear matching sets...period.
What does he want you wear? Boxer Briefs & a Tank Top? :)
If he's giving you issues about something like this, he will do way more in the future. ... (read in full...)
We fight all the time and there's abusive language...help!
Q. i have been in a relationship for the past four yeras and the guy does mean a lot to me.Though he loves me a lot,there's no proper understanding between us and every other day there's a fight and he can get really angry and use an abusive ...
A. 23 September 2009: Glad we could help :)
Good luck with whatever you do in life.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend teases me about how small my penis is!
Q. my penis doenst erect properly it is only 4 inches while erecting my gf makes fun that it is very small in parties i cant speak out all make fun of me please give suggestion one of her friends told me why dont you use Viagra i am helpless ...
A. 23 September 2009: She is very rude & like the others said...get rid of her. She clearly has no respect for you & your feelings.... (read in full...)
We fight all the time and there's abusive language...help!
Q. i have been in a relationship for the past four yeras and the guy does mean a lot to me.Though he loves me a lot,there's no proper understanding between us and every other day there's a fight and he can get really angry and use an abusive ...
A. 23 September 2009: I think you've become immune to pain & used to the harm that this relationship is really causing you. You may feel like it's "how life should be", but sweetheart...it's not. You are too young to feel that this is how you should be living, you should ... (read in full...)
Should I leave her to experience and learn for herself?
Q. so i have a good friend and she started going out with this guy about 3 months ago who is an absolute arsehole.. he actually reminds me a lot of my exboyfriend whom i was with for 3 years which only ended in heartbreak... its so hard seeing her put ...
A. 23 September 2009: I think the only thing you can do for your friend is voice your concerns to her as you've already done & hope that she will listen. Even though we don't like to see it happen, some people just have to learn on their own. Be it sooner or later she ... (read in full...)
Is his age that bad and am I a bitch for having an affair?
Q. Well people are gonna think I'm a right bitch i just have to tell someone, im 17 years old, and having an afair with a man who has a gf and little boy! i feel really sick about it but i didnt know until about a week ago, i really liked this man but ...
A. 23 September 2009: Yes he is too old & he could very well get in trouble with the law over this.
Now that you know about his commitment to someone else, you should walk away from it. To stay involved will only bring you much heartbreak, heartbreak that a young gi... (read in full...)
Can anyone tell me what this smelly discharge is?
Q. This is quite embarassin. I am 21 and off the pill. I recently started gettin a yellow white substance comin from my vagina. It looks alot like cum but its not. Sometimes it smells a bit too. This is really annoyin me and makin me feel wierd bout ...
A. 20 September 2009: Honey, no one here can really tell you what it is. This isn't a medical board, you need to go to a doctor who can tell you exactly what it is.
Best wishes!... (read in full...)
Shall I tell the girlfriend?
Q. Ok, so my sister (30ish) met a guy (30ish) on a two week business trip. They had a couple of brief encounters but it was essentially a friendship. Anyway she has recently found out that she is pregnant. The guy has a girlfriend of a year and a hal...
A. 20 September 2009: I completely understand how you feel, but I don't believe that it is your place to tell his girlfriend anything. The matter at hand is honestly between your sister, the boyfriend & the girlfriend(on his account)- NOT YOU. If your sister wanted to go ... (read in full...)
Any sexual fantasies about him have evaporated due to his size. Is this shallow?
Q. This is directed mainly at other women Hi, I've been out on a few dates with a guy and I'm ready to take it futher than just kissing if you know what I mean. However, the other day he was round at my house, I put my hand down his pants and h...
A. 20 September 2009: Yes you are being kind of shallow...
You can't really judge a mans performance in the bedroom, his quality of intimacy or time that he can last(which can be worked out) based on his size.
And to be quite honest it's better to have a man that'... (read in full...)
She's committed to him but we sleep naked together. What is going on?
Q. I met a girl whom I honestly believe is The One for me. We were dating for barely 3 weeks when she told me that she was seeing another man. I accepted that and continued on with the "relationship" because we never said we were exclusive, and t...
A. 19 September 2009: She's comfortable being between you both & using you both.
I can't put it another way. Commitment means commitment & what she is doing isn't a sign of that, by doing all those things with you,she's putting herself in a position to become uncommit... (read in full...)
Are we headed in the direction of reconciliation?
Q. well i made the decision to call him after he ended it kind of harshly last year..and i even contacted him in october b/c i regretted all my jealousy etc and he said he wasn't ready to do this all over again and he can't right now..he did some ...
A. 19 September 2009: Phew!
That was a lot of reading for such a simple question. Try just a little more shortness next time, if there is one :)
There could be possible reconciliation here. I will remind you that reconciliation isn't always a fast nor easy process... (read in full...)
I am concerned about my boyfriend. What should I do?
Q. I am a christian and have been talking with someone for 2 years. He wants to have a good time for instance driving out to the country and stay for a night at a resort. I really dont want to do that. Should i give up on him and try to find someone ...
A. 19 September 2009: I have 3 things to point out...
#1- If you don't want to go to a resort, because of your religion/beliefs or whatever else & you feel that some "things" can happen, then just be honest with him and tell him that. You don't have to go if you don'... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex-wife wants to meet me. Should I allow this?
Q. My boyfriend's ex-wife has asked to meet me. My boy friend and I are living together, we are 34 and 39 years old, working professionals and there are wedding plans for the future. I have a 6 year old child and he has three children. They have been ...
A. 18 September 2009: Glad I could help! Wish you the best with whatever your decision may be:)... (read in full...)
Common sense is telling me to move on. What do you think?
Q. I was in a very loving, caring relationship with a guy for almost two years. At the end of July he had to move to Pennsylvania for grad school, and I stayed here in Hawaii to finish my undergrad degree. He will be there for the next year and a half, ...
A. 18 September 2009: I think that if you feel deep down & if your common sense is telling you that you should be moving on & going forward, then do that. From what it seems, you guys are doing well with more of just the friendship/caring aspect of a relationship, which ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my brother's g/f
Q. Im 21, my brother is 23 an his gf is 23. They have been together for almost 2 years now. We have always been close friends, she is so caring, nuturing, an She is so beautiful, smart, sweet and overal a very nice person. He treats her like shit, he ...
A. 18 September 2009: Okay...
I can understand how you feel, it must be very, very hard to watch her being treated like this especially by your brother, who is also her boyfriend.
But that fact to me, is what you need to focus on: she is your brothers girlfri... (read in full...)
Am I crazy? Or is he?
Q. Answers from guys will be appreciated. I met a guy who was separated from his wife, but still living in the same house as they got along pretty well and saw no reason to rock the financial boat by running separate households. We saw each other fo...
A. 18 September 2009: Wow the aunts are right concerning this. He's using you, lying to you & he isn't leaving his wife. A few things to add to what they already stated:
Separated means separated, you don't live like you're still happily married when you're separate... (read in full...)
Is it your opinion that this could be rape?
Q. Ok i know sum one that is 13 and she has a boyfriend that is 18 and they been going out for a while and she lost her virginity too him and they both wanted it and some of her friends says thats rape i don't think its rape if the too people that is ...
A. 18 September 2009: Agreed on or not, according to the LAW, it is rape & above what anyone else thinks, that is what matters in the end:the LAW. And honestly that guy should be jailed...and quick, because he KNOWS the trouble that he could in with this young girl. ... (read in full...)
Can we have sex without him knowing I'm a virgin? Will it hurt?
Q. Hi. My BF who I love dearly is experienced (he`s had three other partners, one of which was a virgin) and I`m a virgin. Well... a virgin as far as never had a MAN penetrate me. I`ve participated in oral sex before and I also masturbate often. I lied ...
A. 18 September 2009: How about just being honest?
The worst thing that you can do in a relationship & life in general is present yourself as a false person. If you can lie about just something as simple as being a virgin, then what other things can you lie to this ... (read in full...)
Could antibiotics taken a month ago cause change in period?
Q. Hey, for the last 2 days ive been getting my period, but its not heavy at all, and seems quite pale. There is hardly any blood, which I think is unusual as im normally quite heavy on the first 2 days. Ive been pretty regular for the last 2 years. T...
A. 17 September 2009: As a young girl, your period will not be regular for a while & there are even older women who do not yet have regulated cycles. Sometimes it is true that certain things can change a period, like stress, medication etc., but it isn't a life ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's ex-wife wants to meet me. Should I allow this?
Q. My boyfriend's ex-wife has asked to meet me. My boy friend and I are living together, we are 34 and 39 years old, working professionals and there are wedding plans for the future. I have a 6 year old child and he has three children. They have been ...
A. 17 September 2009: I think you should meet her. If she hasn't been a real problem to you then there isn't a real reason why you shouldn't. You mentioned her "games" about the visitation thing, that's not really a strong issue. Believe me, I have a ex & a 2 kids, so I ... (read in full...)
His skype had strange messages from girls wanting to webcam!
Q. Hey guys, any help would be much appreciated. My boyfriend and I have been going out 2 years. Were currently in a long distance relationship. I logged into his skype account to send a text as I had no credit on mine and he had messages from 2 girls ...
A. 17 September 2009: There are a lot of spam things that happen on Skype, regardless of how long or short you've been using it. Instead of first accusing him, just talk to him and try listening before you respond. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't like the fact that I'm not confident!
Q. So basically my bf and I have been dating for 5 months now and he's now voiced his concerns over the fact that im not confident enough and that he hates it. So my question is how can I be more confident? Thank you. =]....
A. 16 September 2009: Hello sweetheart!
Let me say first of all, confidence comes from the inside. It is not a shirt that you can just pull out & put on when you want to wear it & although I could feel where your boyfriend is coming from, he needs to understa... (read in full...)
I can't keep being her doormat, I have feelings too!
Q. Where to start? Around 3 years ago, I went out with a girl I had known for several years she had been in a relationship where her boyfriend lied cheated and even beat her. I got together with her around a year after that relationship fin...
A. 16 September 2009: Deliawood said it right!
You can't keep putting yourself in this position, you don't deserve to have your feelings toyed with. It is obvious that she is very confused young woman & she needs time to herself to sort out herself. She has been usi... (read in full...)
Do the aunts feel the love here?
Q. I have been seeing a married man for the past 14 months we have great sex but we get on well together and have similar interests, i am separated from my husband. The man I am seeing has never told me he loves me nor have I told him that I love him. ...
A. 16 September 2009: I can't speak for anyone else & I'm not here to judge you, but NO, I don't feel the love here.
Honestly to me, stepping out of your marriage being separated or not & helping someone else to ruin theirs is not love. If it was really any love the... (read in full...)
14 year old needs help leaving an abusive relationship
Q. I'm in a abusive relationship and want to get out but i don't know how. I'm 14 and my bf is 18 i have been with him for a year now and have been beaten up 7 times i haven't told anybody about him or what he does and i cant because of a age ...
A. 14 September 2009: Honey...the way for you to leave is to tell someone that can really help you get out of it and the time to do it...is now!
No one walking this earth deserves to be hurt, you are worth more than that. And you are not a punching bag. Don't be conce... (read in full...)
Pregnant, cheated on b/f and now not sure who is the father
Q. Hi , im a pregnant teen and like most teen moms out there , i have many problems with my boyfriend. The main problem is , we dont know for sure if he's the father. I admit i cheated on him and i own up to what i did , but we both find it hard to ...
A. 14 September 2009: I agree HereToHelpx!
It makes no sense for the aunts & uncles to go back & forth with other, we all have our opinions and in that light: each one should be respected. It is only up to the poster of the question to determine whether or not they cho... (read in full...)
Secretly going out with a waiter, my friend likes him
Q. hey, i have been going out whith a waiter who works in a Restaurant we go to quiet alot but no one no's about it i went there at the weekend with my family and my best friend and her family and he was working but didnt serve us my best friend n...
A. 14 September 2009: Why don't you just be honest and tell your friend that you're with the guy. It's obvious that he was walking by the table because you were there & he couldn't talk to you, not because of your friend. She's thinking like that only because she took a ... (read in full...)
Pregnant, cheated on b/f and now not sure who is the father
Q. Hi , im a pregnant teen and like most teen moms out there , i have many problems with my boyfriend. The main problem is , we dont know for sure if he's the father. I admit i cheated on him and i own up to what i did , but we both find it hard to ...
A. 14 September 2009: Woah q1605!
Kind of harsh, but it is the reality of the matter.
To add to that, honey there is nothing you can do now but wait until the baby arrives & have a DNA test to be sure of who the father is. That is the only way you can handle that ... (read in full...)
Should I make him choose between me and his ex?
Q. My boyfriend of 9 months is friends with his ex, and it's driving me nuts. He was friends with her 2 years before they got together, for 2 months, and they remained friends after the breakup. They've been friends 5 years now, and I only got together ...
A. 12 September 2009: I think you should ask your boyfriend about maybe not meeting up so often with her. but choosing BETWEEN you & her...NO!
They've been friends for 5 years, and no disrespect but to end that for a g/f of 9 months is kind of unrealistic & a little p... (read in full...)
How do I know whether I'm over my ex, or I'm trying to find a rebound to move on?
Q. 2 months ago my gf if u can call it that broke up and we talked everyday but when she told me she was hooking up with guys when she was drunk i was jealous but didnt tell her. a month ago i told her that i couldnt be friends with her anylonger if ...
A. 12 September 2009: You'll know it's not a rebound when you can honestly admit to yourself that you are completely over your ex & completely ready to move on with NO REGRETS. You'll just have this assurance of yourself first above anything. And no one can really tell ... (read in full...)
Was I taking it too far with these nicknames I made for her?
Q. So, i met this girl in 9th grade today, and she apparently found out my name by me drawing it on the marker board when i went to the restroom during language arts class, and she says "hey christopher!" in a loud, playfull/obnoxious, voice, and i ...
A. 12 September 2009: I don't think it's a huge deal.
If she found it offensive or something, then she'd say it, but seeing as she responded in a pretty laid back way, she's fine with it.
But if you aren't fine with or whatever, why don't you find out her real nam... (read in full...)
Why does he jolt when we are being intimate? Is it just a result of his orgasm?
Q. i am currently seeing an older guy and i have found when we are being intimate, at a certain point, he will start to have strong jolting sensations, so strong he physically moves back and forward. i have never experienced this before, is it just the ...
A. 12 September 2009: It could very well be an orgasm, everyone is different. People react all kinds of ways to it. You should ask him if he's having one the next it happens:)... (read in full...)
How do I show him I'm glad that we're not friends?
Q. I broke up with my friend yesterday, he was annoying. He used to lie about small things for example, the shops he bought his clothes from. He gave me stares which totally freaked me out and would sit very close to me that I could practically not ...
A. 12 September 2009: Firstly, how do you break up with just a "friend"?
And if you guys aren't talking to each other now "as friends", then let that be the end of it. You don't need to nor should you have to taunt him with that fact, that's not called for. It's a r... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned about our age or the length of our relationship?
Q. my bf and i have been going out for about 5 months and he said he was ready to have sex (we're both 18). should i be concerned about our age or the length of our relationship?...
A. 10 September 2009: Question is: are YOU ready for it?
If you feel like you guys should wait longer, then by all means, wait longer. There is no time limit or law that says you have to have sex at a certain time. It's your body & your emotions getting involved... (read in full...)
He has been separated from his wife for 20 years, but still is unsure about divorce.
Q. I'm dating my polar opposite. He's swedish, I'm american, he's 62, I'm 30, he's an engineer and I'm an artist that can't seem to hold a job. He's been married for going on 40 years which isn't quite as bad as it sounds as they've been seperated for ...
A. 10 September 2009: Get out!
Honey, your faith in something like this will get you hurt deeply. If it's been 20 years, 20 whole years and he is still "unsure" at this time in his life, then he will never know, nor will he really end it. And to me, it looks as if he... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for a man to want to climax too?
Q. I'm 25 and have had two serious relationships, one seven months before I found out she was cheating on me, and the other three years and a half-planned wedding before she dumped me without explanation. I've performed and kinda-received oral, but ...
A. 10 September 2009: No sir, you are not wrong for wanting to pleased at all!
That's what a relationship is about in & out of the bedroom. Both people involved should be concerned about and cared for by their partners. Relationships are not one sided, you both wor... (read in full...)
Do I have a chance of winning this guy away from his fiance?
Q. Right, so my question is fairly straight to the point - do I have any chance of winning back this guy from his fiancee? Allow me to elaborate. I am in my mid twenties and for a couple of months (2007) dated an awesome guy that I fell madly in lo...
A. 10 September 2009: What should you do?
I think you need to leave him alone, that's what you should do.
I think that you need to move your focus off of this mans life & live your own. Fact of the matter is this (and forgive me if I sound rude but I can't find ano... (read in full...)
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