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| | *eentheredonethat's profile:Ok I am in my 40's and have lived all over the United States and a couple short pops in Canada and Mexico. I am living on the west coast right now.
My relationship status is a bizarre world filled with twists and turns that keep my life in a constant flux. Most of you deal with a relationship problem. multiply that several times and that is where I live. I have one husband and two very Long term boyfriends....I love them all very much. They are aware of each other and finally get along....but I do manage them. And dear ladies, your husband is not safe with me IF you take him for granted...I won't. And you won't catch him because I will teach him to be the perfect husband while he and I are sucking the life out of every moment.
My husband usually manages at least 3 girlfriends at any given time. However, he has not always dealt with them fairly...it has taken me years to create a Player out of him for he likes the danger and the chase...unfortunately you cant lay down rules if your the one giving in to demands. I could not for years convince him of my relief at catching him...well...number 13 and the Smelly...were anything but a relief....they were battle. The Smelly nearly did me in. But it was a great and nasty battle and our marriage was strained to the gills. Yet as it recovered and Bloomed far beyond my Dreams I realized that If he had not played the bad guy...I would have. He saved me from ever having to look at my husband and know that if he really knew me it would kill him. My husband and I Know each other...every flaw every hateful wart on our souls.....yet we still love each other. We don't want to change each other....but reach out our hand to guide one another. True Love is Love no matter what. when you set someone else above you...and cherish them more than yourself...that is true love. True Love can be shown in many forms and if it means you both believe in monogamy...there is nothing wrong with that....unfortunately few actually practice what they believe.
I see past that and love the flaws of my sweet boys as well as their many attributes.
Why do I know so much about affairs? I have had them since I was sexually active...one of my first experiences was with an older married man who was a Player. He taught me that there were rules for successful affairs...and there are. I have had mostly successful affairs because I play by those rules ONLY. I have never once been caught.....think about that...NOT ONCE. Now after it was all said and done...I have had a few who confessed....and I had to have conversations with the jilted angry wife. (I have also had to clean up some of my husbands not so successful messes and had to play the jilted wife...so I get all the absurdities of both ends)
Some of you will hate me because I am being honest here...but that is what you will get from me...an honest answer to your question. If you needed one more person telling you what you wanted to hear...you would be talking to friends...not strangers.
What makes me tick?
Love...I love my children, husband, boyfriends, and family. I love books and history. By understanding why the world is the way it is....we see what parts simply don't matter....and can go on from there. Change is the only true constant in the world.
Sex...it is like a religion to me. There is nothing nasty dirty or horrible about kind loving mutually fulfilling sex among adults....repression and guilt have driven more joy from the world than can be imagined.
Mostly I want to say that most of you are fine...your reactions to things are normal....but on occasion...if you step out of your little box you may see things differently...The only true advise I give is Choose wisely. The rest is just helping you think for yourself.
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Have I made the right decision in staying with my husband and remaining loyal? I cannot get my true love out of my head.
Q. I have been married for 11 years to my husband N and have two kids aged 6 and 10. My husband and I had a communication breakdown some time ago and I felt very alone and isolated by him and our sex life was for some years practically non existant. ...
A. 16 October 2006: Well and for the first time he also has had to make an effort to keep you. You don't know how terrific the ground is until you have to walk through air. You showed him that the world could fall out from under him if he does not appreciate it. ... (read in full...)
Have I made the right decision in staying with my husband and remaining loyal? I cannot get my true love out of my head.
Q. I have been married for 11 years to my husband N and have two kids aged 6 and 10. My husband and I had a communication breakdown some time ago and I felt very alone and isolated by him and our sex life was for some years practically non existant. ...
A. 11 October 2006: Wow....Hubby's little flaws are pretty significant. And a few weeks of effort IS NOT worth years of what you have dealt with. But, see...You made all the moves....You won him...You pushed HIM. You wanted Kids....he had no need to put any effort ... (read in full...)
How do I secure my finances prior to divirce?
Q. My question is about what happens in a situation where a couple are not yet divorced, but have come to a decision re the finances. My husband gave me a deposit for a house 2 years ago as our marriage broke down. I left him and needed somewhere...
A. 11 October 2006: While sarcasm is most definitely one of my blatant flaws it is sarcasm with a point and with Humor not anger. I did not mean to infer that you should attempt to be superwoman. My friends situation was meant to show you that no matter how bad you ... (read in full...)
How do I secure my finances prior to divirce?
Q. My question is about what happens in a situation where a couple are not yet divorced, but have come to a decision re the finances. My husband gave me a deposit for a house 2 years ago as our marriage broke down. I left him and needed somewhere...
A. 11 October 2006: Ok...where i got it from was your second post...."He spends most of his time on the golf course in Spain."
and NO I am not missing the point...you have a lot of excuses for your children...and you seem to feel I am attacking you...when all I was ... (read in full...)
What is True Love
Q. My question is short but complex...What is True Love? How do you know you've found it? ...
A. 10 October 2006: Its actually as simple as the question.
True love is when you know exactly all the bad stuff about them and love them anyway enough to help them date and marry your best friend if that is who makes THEM happy.
True love is a quiet knowledg... (read in full...)
I have fallen for my boyfriends uncle. What can I do?
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for about 10 months and when i first met his uncle i liked him but have recently jus bin on holiday with them and his uncle came on to me i really really like his uncle but hes married, 30 and has 3 kids i dont know what ...
A. 10 October 2006: Oh Baby....don't go there.
He is tellling you that to get in your young little panties and if He gets caught he gets to say you are a slut...look at her sleeping with my nephew and constantly coming onto me and wearing skimpy things around me etc.... (read in full...)
How do I secure my finances prior to divirce?
Q. My question is about what happens in a situation where a couple are not yet divorced, but have come to a decision re the finances. My husband gave me a deposit for a house 2 years ago as our marriage broke down. I left him and needed somewhere...
A. 10 October 2006: No, You did not make the facts clear. You asked how to make sure you were ok financially and explained that your Ex gave you money for a house and was going to spilt his retirement with you...and your children lived with him.
Now I have your dand... (read in full...)
How do I secure my finances prior to divirce?
Q. My question is about what happens in a situation where a couple are not yet divorced, but have come to a decision re the finances. My husband gave me a deposit for a house 2 years ago as our marriage broke down. I left him and needed somewhere...
A. 10 October 2006: So you don't want your husband or kids....Just their money so you don't have to worry about life? Who will benefit if he died tomorrow...your children...yet your really only worried about getting money to support you and your new guy...even if he ... (read in full...)
Have I made the right decision in staying with my husband and remaining loyal? I cannot get my true love out of my head.
Q. I have been married for 11 years to my husband N and have two kids aged 6 and 10. My husband and I had a communication breakdown some time ago and I felt very alone and isolated by him and our sex life was for some years practically non existant. ...
A. 10 October 2006: Well...you have stayed with your husband....but your are not exactly remaining loyal. Your wishing for someone else and your husband is trying to live up to the other dream guy...and your really not giving him much of a chance. Have you made the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriends been cheating on me, yet I still love him!
Q. what do i do after my boyfried of nearly 8 yrs ,has cheated on me with his ex?we have 3 kids under 6.had no problems and a fantastic sex life..and he goes off and has sex with her.the affair was going on for two months when i accidently found very ...
A. 28 September 2006: Ok....why is this man still your BOY-----friend after kids and a horrendous amount of time. The man has cheated on you for a reason...he is not ever going to commit to you and he is never going to marry you and now he's bopping other people to ... (read in full...)
We broke up because she cheated and now..she ignores me! I still care for her..what can I do?
Q. What should I do me and my girlfreind broke up about 3 weeks ago. Well to start out she has cheated on me twice before when she was really drunk. She kissed two guys. She broke up with me first saying she felt like there was not a spark anymore. ...
A. 28 September 2006: Ok and you cussed at her and broke up with her for Kissing someone else....that's a bit controlling. And now you are the official Slut regulator....what are you Stalking her? You know she's hanging out with Sluts...wow...do you know them ... (read in full...)
Is she sending me mixed messages or am I useless at picking up the signs? Help me out here!
Q. Hi Everyone A few months back a friend of mine's girlfriend moved near to where I live....and one of her friends moved in with her. I bumped into them in town and my friend found out that this new girl thought I was "cute". Obviously I was ...
A. 28 September 2006: Ok...did the friend tell you not to pursue it because...He Likes her...they are close and she probably told him she didn't like you ...or just because he's lazy and thought your were putting to much effort into it and He was sick of hearing you talk ... (read in full...)
My seperated guy hasn't contacted me and I wanna know-what the hell is going on?
Q. Hi I have been going with this fella and i have a question before about him! He is separted from his wife and he has a child and two step children we have been getting on ok or so i think! i haven't heard from him since monday and i don't know...
A. 28 September 2006: Um...have you called him. Was he in a car wreck...did he have a kidney-stone...did his grand ma die...did one of his kids or ex-wife fall ill...or did they get back together. Are you sure he's separated...ie...you have been to his home...where he ... (read in full...)
Sex on holiday, am I now pregnant?
Q. I had sex on holiday and since then i havent been on my period.I took 2 pregnancy tests but they were really cheap 1 said negitive then the other said positive im really scared im only 15 XXXXPLZ HELP XXX...
A. 28 September 2006: Super market pregnancy tests are actually very reliable provided you are pregnant enough to trigger them. Don't buy the cheapest and get one of those that are easy...like you just pee on it. However Know that the progesterone they measure is more ... (read in full...)
Dirty text messages found on mobile
Q. 6 monthes ago my wife had a mobile phone which i didnt know of, when i found it ,it was full of dirty texts she had sent to 2 guys. one of the guys was her friends hubby, her friend was also in on the dirty texts. now i have found she has another ...
A. 28 September 2006: Um...that means she's not only texting...but Sleeping with them both. simple answer...if she was NOT sleeping with them...She would have used her Own phone and not gotten a Special one just for them. Oh and best friends husbands are off limits to ... (read in full...)
In what ways can I infect someone else with herpes?
Q. I had a herpes test done recently and I called my doc. to get the results and I found out that I am positive for herpes I but negative for herpes II. Basically I have cold sores inside my mouth, they don't appear outside my mouth though and I was ...
A. 28 September 2006: Ok from the moment you feel the tingle until it is completely GONE...don't kiss, drink after each other, engage in oral sex, touch your mouth and rub your eyes or nose. It is painful, ugly and mostly benign if you simply follow those rules. ... (read in full...)
Been married a few months and run out of thinsg to say!
Q. I have nothing to say to my wife. We have only been married for a few months, and I am scared. We just moved because of her job, and we have no one to speak to other than each other. I am not working so I can't even tell her about my day. What can I ...
A. 28 September 2006: Um....So you know everything you will ever need to know about her? she must be BORRRRRING.....shallow...probably a little dumb?
Did you not notice that about her beFORE you married her?
No No...of course i am being cheeky.
Can't think of an... (read in full...)
He knows I exist so why won't he talk to me?
Q. I am a Single mother. i have a liking for this man who is 5 yrs younger than me. We are working in the same company but different dept. We do not talk to each other but he knows that i am existing. Just wonder why he does not want to talk to me? Can ...
A. 28 September 2006: Ok...not to be mean but you are a SINGLE MOTHER. The nicest guy in the world may simply not be interested because you have a child. Get used to it...it is the realm of Dating WITH Kids. It takes a really special man to see past the kids and ... (read in full...)
Convinced my Dad is cheating on my Mum, what should I do?
Q. I am a teenager living at home with my Mum and Dad who have been married for 20 years. I recently found some texts on my Dads mobile and I am now convinced he is having an affair. Please help me because I can't stand the thought of my family been ...
A. 28 September 2006: You should do NOTHING. You should not worry, talk, accuse or fret. First of all...grown ups like to joke and tease too...and think about how your parents would take some of the messages YOU get from your buddies if they did not have them in ... (read in full...)
He told me that it smelled fishy
Q. please, i am 15 and my boyfriend has recently just preformed oral sex on me. i feel very embarrassed to say this, but he told me that it smelled a little like some sort of fish or something. he said he could not go on, and that he would give me a ...
A. 28 September 2006: Well...you are both very young and he will eventually learn to appreciate the natural smell of a woman. However what you eat Does affect how you taste...and it is true for men also. Medicine, diet, and cycle are the first factors to consider. ... (read in full...)
Does having sex in a shower cause bladder infections?
Q. I have a serious question...I have been getting bladder infections very frequently. What causes this? someone told me that you get them from having sex in the shower, or having too much sex? Why does this happen every time that i have sex with my ...
A. 28 September 2006: Well I am not a nurse, but I do have sex in shower....well frequently. I have had two UTI's in my life and my understanding is that you have, not drank enough water and allowed your urine to concentrate, are simply prone to them or you have another ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend of 1 month tells me he still lives with his ex. He says this is purely for financial reasons. What do I do?
Q. my boyfriend, of one month, came up at the weekend, and he told me that he still has to live with his ex, he said it is over, but she stills wants to be with him. he says they sleep in separate beds, and he is only still they because he cant afford ...
A. 25 September 2006: What would you like to bet that this Ex is a Still in the picture and would be terribly shocked to find out about you? Oh we are broken up....but I can't afford to find my own place. in man talk that really means... (I am interested in having sex ... (read in full...)
What do men really think of women that are good in bed?
Q. What do men really think of women that are good in bed? Recently, I heard that a couple of my ex-boyfriends had told people that Im good in bed and while my friends say I should be flattered I actually feel quite embarressed. Does it not mak...
A. 25 September 2006: Well think about it. Would you rather have a reputation for being good in bed.....or a reputation for being a dud?
Oh...yeah.....she sleeps with anyone...but bring a bag and a cattle prod... make sure your too drunk to remember cause she's a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is obessed with "big-tit-porn"... And I'm a size B
Q. My boy friend and I are both 21 years old, and we have been together for 3 years. He has a major obsession with huge breasted womem, (while I am just a B-cup). All of the porno he watches contains girls that I could never compare to, and I have a ...
A. 25 September 2006: Well don't break up yet....he's got a thing for boobs...so what...maybe his mommy didn't breast feed him long enough or maybe she did it toooooo long. I have a suggestion that will teach him a lesson....but you have to be willing to pull it off. ... (read in full...)
Married for 30 years, I find out he has had an affair with a girl 20 years younger.. And everyone knows!
Q. My husband of 30 years has just had an affair! He moved out 6 months ago, saying the relationship was not working, and then I found out he was seeing a woman 20 years younger, is living with her, and has been on holiday with her. Everyone we know ...
A. 25 September 2006: You seem terribly concerned that everyone knows. First of all If they are true friends, they will be glad to know in order to help you get through it and as far as the others...they never did matter and any reaction other than offering you support ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is always breaking promises to me....how can I go about this?
Q. I posted a question about my boyfriend of 7 months working too hard. Well, my boyfriend keeps making promises that he doesn't keep. How can I tell him how I feel without branding myself as being emotional and irrational? I also, don't want to ...
A. 29 June 2006: Well, first tell him kindly and nicely that it hurts you...don't get mad or whiny or pout. Also you are not to specific about what he's breaking. Has he promised to marry you and ignored it? Has he promised to pay the rent and left you holding the ... (read in full...)
I've fallen in love with a married guy!
Q. I was helping a friend of mine (girl) move, and I met a good friend of hers who was a male. We had instant chemistry, we thought about each other everday since then, and have gone back and forth between this girl. Only problem he's married, he's not ...
A. 29 June 2006: Well obviously you have not gone insane....or you would be writing this to us in crayola. You are not in love with him...you are infatuated with him. Can you catch him...steal him....have him for your own? Nope. You can obsess over him and ... (read in full...)
Coming to terms with my sexuality and confused!
Q. A few months ago, at the grand old age of 29, I finally decided to come-out and admit to myself and the world what I'd really known for years and years - that I fancy men as well as women (and probably more than women). This is something I'd been ...
A. 29 June 2006:
You are saying that all these years you waited for someone worth coming out for and after a few months...Now you wished you had come out and then dated around?
You know this man must be pretty special for him to pull you out of your shell...... (read in full...)
What shall I do about my marriage???
Q. I have been married for 7 years and we have split up twice as I feel that we want different things from life. We are now trying again for the 3rd time. We have a lovely house together, 2 dogs (no children) and my husband is trying really hard to ...
A. 29 June 2006: Sometimes I think being wishy washy and knowing what you want but not having the courage to say it kindly and be sure enough to be firm causes more hurt than it prevents.
Make a decision...stay or go....then find your happy spot and dig in. Don'... (read in full...)
He takes an interest in and asks about me, and I'm very attracted. Problem is, he's married with kids...
Q. I work at a gas station, I've been there for almost a year. One of the guys that comes in to stock the soda is attractive funny and nice, he flirts with me and of course I flirt back. I'm 20 years old and he is 28. The only problem is that he ...
A. 21 March 2006: There is nothing here to be confused about.
He's married.....that means unavailable. See in your mind you have already got this built up into something it will never be. How is your weekend is polite....it does not come with....hey lets run away... (read in full...)
I've never been round his house, met his friends, or his family, and he won't tell me where he lives!
Q. I have been in a relationship with a guy for about 7 months. I have never been to his apartment. When we first started talking to each other, he told me that he had a bad experience with someone keying his car and was not ready to tell me where he ...
A. 13 March 2006: Mmmmmm....I can't think of any reason he would want to keep his address Secret after 7 months. I mean its one thing to live in a realllllly ratty place your ashamed of...its another to just expect your girlfriend to save you the trouble and always ... (read in full...)
We met 5 years ago and he says he still loves me.....but he's also married!!
Q. hi, its hard for me to forget what my boyfriend did to me. I fell in love with him 5 years ago, we met at work. he claims he loves me too. even though he is married, no kids. since he left for overseas, it has been difficult for me. on one hand he ...
A. 13 March 2006: Gifts are gifts...I never return them. Don't wear them for a while either though...just pack them away and forget them. If he Asks for them to be returned....he's a (insert bad word of choice)...and he wants them to impress his next flavor. If the ... (read in full...)
My BF's parents won't let him go out, because he did poorly on his exams. But he's an adult!
Q. My boyfriend's parents are punishing him for not doing well in his exams. Part of that punishment is that he can't go out, even though he is an adult. He is not standing up to his parents, and has told me we can't see each other until everything is ...
A. 13 March 2006: Well, yes and no. He is of an age that he has the ability to live on his own and make his own rules. However, he is not doing that...nor was he evidently studying properly...and unfortunately you may be a contributing factor. If they are paying ... (read in full...)
I found a condom in his wallet and I think he lied about what it was for
Q. Hi, I am 23 years old and have been with my fiance for about 4 years. We have had our problems but I thought we were doing ok. I am pregnant, due any day now. Last night I was doing laundry and my fiance had his wallet in a pair of pants that needed ...
A. 9 March 2006: I have to agree with willy and smeedle. I can't even think of a devils advocate stance on this one. If it was not there before and IS there now...there is a reason. (also you riffling through his wallet on a regular basis says you probably suspect ... (read in full...)
The man who loves me is married. He says he's never fallen for anyone else, not even his wife!
Q. I have fallen head over heels with a married man. I've known him for years, and always fancied him but never ever thought he would feel the same. Only a few weeks ago did he tell me that he loves me. He honestly said he didn't fall in love with his...
A. 9 March 2006: please please please....read some of the posts from the women who have been Hanging on...missing their whole lives....waiting on some married guy to break free from his wife. Every one of those women think they have been a cherished flower.....and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is still in touch with an ex-bootycall... Why?
Q. My boyfriend of one year just moved in with me 3mos ago the problem is he stays in contact with an ex fuckbuddy frequently...He says I'm jealous and he isn't giving up his friendship which is platonic now. anmy feedback?...
A. 9 March 2006: I have always wondered why people think that just because they have come into someones life...all that persons past should stop at the door.
He had a fuckbuddy....if he wanted to be deceitful, he could have told you that this person was his best... (read in full...)
I cheated in my mind, and my husband is angry and hurt...
Q. I cheated on my husband and brought him home in my mind and fucked my husband thinking of the other guy. He is extremely hurt and I destroyed his self confidence and dignity. He feels small and worthless in a sexual way. I don't want to lose him but ...
A. 9 March 2006: Sooooo why would he KNOW that...did you say the wrong Name?
You did not cheat on your husband by having a fantasy. But by explaining to him that you were thinking of ole so-and-so YOU DID kinda kick him in the teeth. Guess what...YOUR MIND IS YOUR... (read in full...)
My relationship is great, and I trust my boyfriend... but I still have self-esteem problems!
Q. I just want to ask people's opinions on insecurity, low self-esteem and jealousy and where they "come" from. Because I (22 years old) suffer from all these even though I'm involved in a loving, long term (two years) relationship which I could not be ...
A. 9 March 2006: Well low self esteem, insecurity and jealousy are all in the same ball of wax.
Have you ever considered the sorts of things you say to yourself every day? Do you chastise yourself for not being perfect or call yourself stupid when you forget your... (read in full...)
Thinking of getting a wax but worried I'll be too hair "back there" - am I a freak?
Q. I want to get a Brazilian wax. I would have no problem going if i didnt feel like im the only one with hair all the way "back there". Is this normal ? I dont want to look like a fool in front of the waxer....
A. 9 March 2006: My waxer has a 97 year old woman who gets it done once a month. She says believe Her...even if your entire butt is a gorilla....she's seen worse. She does one body builder who has to be some kind of planet of the ape reject...and every inch of him ... (read in full...)
We met 5 years ago and he says he still loves me.....but he's also married!!
Q. hi, its hard for me to forget what my boyfriend did to me. I fell in love with him 5 years ago, we met at work. he claims he loves me too. even though he is married, no kids. since he left for overseas, it has been difficult for me. on one hand he ...
A. 9 March 2006: Well it depends on where you are at the time as to how honest you should be.
If you are hoping to break them up and snatch him....then telling her every last detail may break them up. (but I warn you...he will never forgive you and you will neve... (read in full...)
Any ideas on what I did wrong on my date with online guy?
Q. Hi everyone! Maybe you can help me understand. I met this guy online about 6 months ago. We met for the first time a couple of weeks ago. I could tell throughout the whole date he seemed different, maybe I looked different than he pictured, maybe he ...
A. 8 March 2006: It's up to you because Happytochat gave a really good answer...but.
If he expected to sleep with you and that was really all he was after and you did not put out....or did...then he won't call or ask for a second date. He was possibly never plan... (read in full...)
We met 5 years ago and he says he still loves me.....but he's also married!!
Q. hi, its hard for me to forget what my boyfriend did to me. I fell in love with him 5 years ago, we met at work. he claims he loves me too. even though he is married, no kids. since he left for overseas, it has been difficult for me. on one hand he ...
A. 8 March 2006: He is where he wants to be...no matter what he Tells you. He is having a wife and a little on the side....for just as long as you allow him to do it.
He does not even have the classic old standby...KIDS. Nope he wants YOU to give him thos... (read in full...)
His son is in state care, but I want paternity tests done before he comes to live with us
Q. Hi I hope someone can help me. My boyfriend and I are getting quite serious and will be moving in together and have talked about marriage and children. He has a 10 month old child with a previous girlfriend. The problem is the child is in state...
A. 8 March 2006: whew...that is a hard one. I can see your point...children are a burden. Personally...I would not care. (but I have a step-son who is not actually my husbands son...his ex was having an affair. We have paid child support on him for all these ... (read in full...)
Wanted: Your views on DearCupid.org
Q. Hi everyone Thought I would introduce myself. My name is Andrew and I'm the guy who runs this site... Yes, it is just a one-man-band! I'm looking for ideas on what new features to add to the site and want YOUR input. I am thinking of the ...
A. 8 March 2006: Dear Andrew, What a Hoot...the boss agony aunt is a guy...whooo hooo...big grin.
I like the idea of a discussion board #3 the best.
I fear the email might create more trouble than it's worth..if someone really blasts someones actions it would op... (read in full...)
My hubby is getting nudie pics of women from a friend...
Q. my husband keeps recieving e-mails from a friend of naked woman in various poses,he hides this from me and it is making me feel insecure,we are in our late forties and he doesnt want to talk about anything with a sexual nature to me but has no ...
A. 8 March 2006: I would not worry about it too much. (the pictures anyway) Boys will be idiots and if he were to tell his friend that he didn't want the pictures...his friend would tease him about being whipped or worse. All men want to fit in with their friends ... (read in full...)
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