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| | *eentheredonethat's profile:Ok I am in my 40's and have lived all over the United States and a couple short pops in Canada and Mexico. I am living on the west coast right now.
My relationship status is a bizarre world filled with twists and turns that keep my life in a constant flux. Most of you deal with a relationship problem. multiply that several times and that is where I live. I have one husband and two very Long term boyfriends....I love them all very much. They are aware of each other and finally get along....but I do manage them. And dear ladies, your husband is not safe with me IF you take him for granted...I won't. And you won't catch him because I will teach him to be the perfect husband while he and I are sucking the life out of every moment.
My husband usually manages at least 3 girlfriends at any given time. However, he has not always dealt with them fairly...it has taken me years to create a Player out of him for he likes the danger and the chase...unfortunately you cant lay down rules if your the one giving in to demands. I could not for years convince him of my relief at catching him...well...number 13 and the Smelly...were anything but a relief....they were battle. The Smelly nearly did me in. But it was a great and nasty battle and our marriage was strained to the gills. Yet as it recovered and Bloomed far beyond my Dreams I realized that If he had not played the bad guy...I would have. He saved me from ever having to look at my husband and know that if he really knew me it would kill him. My husband and I Know each other...every flaw every hateful wart on our souls.....yet we still love each other. We don't want to change each other....but reach out our hand to guide one another. True Love is Love no matter what. when you set someone else above you...and cherish them more than yourself...that is true love. True Love can be shown in many forms and if it means you both believe in monogamy...there is nothing wrong with that....unfortunately few actually practice what they believe.
I see past that and love the flaws of my sweet boys as well as their many attributes.
Why do I know so much about affairs? I have had them since I was sexually active...one of my first experiences was with an older married man who was a Player. He taught me that there were rules for successful affairs...and there are. I have had mostly successful affairs because I play by those rules ONLY. I have never once been caught.....think about that...NOT ONCE. Now after it was all said and done...I have had a few who confessed....and I had to have conversations with the jilted angry wife. (I have also had to clean up some of my husbands not so successful messes and had to play the jilted wife...so I get all the absurdities of both ends)
Some of you will hate me because I am being honest here...but that is what you will get from me...an honest answer to your question. If you needed one more person telling you what you wanted to hear...you would be talking to friends...not strangers.
What makes me tick?
Love...I love my children, husband, boyfriends, and family. I love books and history. By understanding why the world is the way it is....we see what parts simply don't matter....and can go on from there. Change is the only true constant in the world.
Sex...it is like a religion to me. There is nothing nasty dirty or horrible about kind loving mutually fulfilling sex among adults....repression and guilt have driven more joy from the world than can be imagined.
Mostly I want to say that most of you are fine...your reactions to things are normal....but on occasion...if you step out of your little box you may see things differently...The only true advise I give is Choose wisely. The rest is just helping you think for yourself.
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My husband of 19 years has a dirty secret and I just can't bear to be near him anymore!
Q. My husband of 19 years told me on my birthday that he was at the police station and was charged with abusing someone 17 years ago( which he denies) since that night he told me we have not slept together. I cant get it out of my head. I have put on ...
A. 13 December 2006: Ok....So a girl suddenly decides to say he raped her when she was 16.
It must be a terrible shock....for him too.
But, in the first place the case is older than she was at the time.....So why is she suddenly coming forth NOW? I don't think it... (read in full...)
My wife says her feelings aren't the same anymore!
Q. my wife left and went to her mothers 3 months ago. no reason was given except something didnt feel right. we had just returned from a lovely 2 week holiday where we made love nearly every day.complete shock.after 3 weeks she returned but was so cold ...
A. 12 December 2006: Ok...next question
Does she think your having an affair?
and are you...because it puts another spin there.
Could she have misunderstood some email, phone call etc?
Or could she have intercepted one after returning home?
Not accusing you of anyt... (read in full...)
My brother and I had tough times...was I right to say what I did to him?
Q. Let me start at the begining here... I'm the middle child with 2 brothers. My younger brother D. has always been sort of overlooked by my family, and after he graduated highschool he started some really self distructive behavior, like stealing, d...
A. 12 December 2006: I was not trying to be rude. But I was trying to wake you up. You have accomplished your goal.(you told him how you felt) You have nothing to feel guilty about and you probably did him a favor in the long run. (He was flippant at first then took ... (read in full...)
Wife is 8 months pregnant with two small kids at home..and I've been having an affair!
Q. I have been married for 7 years, my wife is 8 months pregnant, and I have been having an affair for 6 months. Not to mention the 4 year old and 2 year old I have at home. I have spent years unhappy, trying in vain to make little changes - ...
A. 12 December 2006: You are restless and want adventure and you have found a measure of it with an affair. But don't loose sight of what is really important. Those kids deserve to be happy too....and you are still making them....while thinking you want to leave.
K... (read in full...)
My brother and I had tough times...was I right to say what I did to him?
Q. Let me start at the begining here... I'm the middle child with 2 brothers. My younger brother D. has always been sort of overlooked by my family, and after he graduated highschool he started some really self distructive behavior, like stealing, d...
A. 12 December 2006: patronize you......NO he's tried to TELL you how HE feels. Quit playing the martyr. ya felt guilty....ya said sorry. He said no big deal...
you said.....IT IS a big deal.
He explained WHY it was not a big deal....ie...he gets why you did ... (read in full...)
I'm 13, started my periods but I think my body is too small for tampons!
Q. I started my period, the next one is due next week and im really worried. i cant wear towels, im 13 but my pant size is very small and the towels are sticking out of them. they irrate me and go up my butt its digusting! I want to try tampons but i ...
A. 12 December 2006: Well my daughter is 12 and she has used tampons since the second day of her first period. She tried the pads and after about two hours looked at me like....."are you kidding me....this is not going to work."
First of all, have you Tried tampons?... (read in full...)
My husband of 19 years has a dirty secret and I just can't bear to be near him anymore!
Q. My husband of 19 years told me on my birthday that he was at the police station and was charged with abusing someone 17 years ago( which he denies) since that night he told me we have not slept together. I cant get it out of my head. I have put on ...
A. 12 December 2006: Ok....I don't know what you mean by abuse, did he rape someone, hurt a child, or just beat someone up....or roll a bum? What?
Second no matter what he was accused of....if he'd been guilty....he'd probably be in jail or you would have at least He... (read in full...)
It still bothers me, the cheating,drinking and other bits
Q. This is probably a long post ,but i am really stuck on this, I have been married for 20 year's, over that time we have had many rough patches.2 children which are both now grown in the military. Both boys are my step children from his first marria...
A. 11 December 2006: Perhaps this is an out of the box suggestion but what is the matter with exactly what you have. It has sufficed for 10 months. You have the best of both worlds. You have the comfort and security of your marriage....then you have the comfort and ... (read in full...)
A work colleague's wife made an assumption about her husband and me! How do I deal with this?
Q. I was on a business trip last week and ran into a colleague who has been staying at the same hotel...but I did not know that he was. I was having breakfast in the dining hall when he walked in with his wife who had just flown in to join him before ...
A. 11 December 2006: Well....you honestly don't know if he's cheated fifty times in the last 10 years....and she just assumed you were the new flavor of the week.
exactly how do you know what she assumed? Perhaps she had a migraine or she'd just discovered that he'... (read in full...)
Is it ok to date my father's half brother's son?
Q. I need to know if it is ok to date my father's half brother's son? My dad and his dad have the same mom but different dads. Not that it makes a difference but they weren't raised together. They were raised on two different sides of the island. ...
A. 11 December 2006: I think it is quite normal in Arkansas, Louisiana and some parts of Texas. My sister-in-law and her daughter are married to half-brothers. This has created quite the family comedy....It makes her daughter also her sister-in-law....and her grand ... (read in full...)
My wife says her feelings aren't the same anymore!
Q. my wife left and went to her mothers 3 months ago. no reason was given except something didnt feel right. we had just returned from a lovely 2 week holiday where we made love nearly every day.complete shock.after 3 weeks she returned but was so cold ...
A. 11 December 2006: Nope....there is something going on there that YOU don't know about.
You say you have no children by choice. Now this is just suppose.....but suppose she has suddenly had baby fever hit her. She may have been trying to get preggo without ... (read in full...)
Will he be back??
Q. I wrote recently bout my boyfriend of eight months not seeing me much. I then had a chat with him where he told me he loved me and wanted a future with me and wanted to live with me one day. Then only six days later he has finished the relationship, ...
A. 11 December 2006: My apologies, I have no idea why that posted so many times?... (read in full...)
I'm a teacher. Do you think it is wrong that bossing students around turns me on?
Q. I am a bit of a power freak and I enjoy bossing people around. I am a teacher and I love my job, sometimes I do go little too far but not often. Thing is though, the power thing relates directly to my sexuality. I enjoy bossing students around ...
A. 11 December 2006: Frankly.....lots of teachers enjoy power.....oh yeah...so do Doctors, Lawyers, Judges....PARENTS....business owners, politicians.....police men.....and on and on.
Do they talk about it? um sometimes.
Now your situation is different becaus... (read in full...)
Will he be back??
Q. I wrote recently bout my boyfriend of eight months not seeing me much. I then had a chat with him where he told me he loved me and wanted a future with me and wanted to live with me one day. Then only six days later he has finished the relationship, ...
A. 11 December 2006: ummmmmm...Move along.
either A....he cant make up his mind
B....Hes insane
C....the other girl he had his eye on said yes and so you lost.
Either way.....you win.
And on the off chance that he's just wanti... (read in full...)
Will he be back??
Q. I wrote recently bout my boyfriend of eight months not seeing me much. I then had a chat with him where he told me he loved me and wanted a future with me and wanted to live with me one day. Then only six days later he has finished the relationship, ...
A. 11 December 2006: ummmmmm...Move along.
either A....he cant make up his mind
B....Hes insane
C....the other girl he had his eye on said yes and so you lost.
... (read in full...)
Will he be back??
Q. I wrote recently bout my boyfriend of eight months not seeing me much. I then had a chat with him where he told me he loved me and wanted a future with me and wanted to live with me one day. Then only six days later he has finished the relationship, ...
A. 11 December 2006: ummmmmm...Move along.
either A....he cant make up his mind
B....Hes insane
C....the other girl he had his eye on said yes and so you lost.
... (read in full...)
I found out he is still married and talking to his wife behind my back!
Q. oh my God, it's happened to me. what do you say, cupid, about a 42 year old man who lied to me about being 'amicably divorced', then sob story when i found out he is still married, promises 'he's mine' and 'he's prayed for me'..then i go to call a f...
A. 11 December 2006: Ok.....well first of all I don't understand.
He's married....and he's talking to his spouse....the one he's married to. And your jealous.....because he lied and told you he was not married? And three months after finding out he IS marr... (read in full...)
Should I follow my obligations to my wife?
Q. I no longer love my wife and we have little in common. I see that it was an error to marry her, but I don't want to hurt her (let alone my kids, 5 and 1 year old). I love another woman. We were never together. I'm sure it's the strongest passio...
A. 11 December 2006: Ok...I think you need to know what you define as happy.
also....you need to define passion and love.
just because you have a crush/obsession/attraction to another woman......Does not mean you are not happy.....don't love your wife.....should ... (read in full...)
I'm just a friend to him...does that mean I will never have a chance to date him?
Q. I was talking to one of my guy friends(r) about his (s) who i like. Well (r) asked (s) if he liked me. He said that he likes me as a friend and that he just wants to be friends. Does that mean i will never have a chance to date him or tell him...
A. 11 December 2006: Truely....the boy should ask you. Don't pay attention to the boys who are not going out of their way to pay attention to you.
Because for me.....that old friend line = just not intrested but would not want to hurt your feelings.
See If there is ... (read in full...)
Be careful of what you ask for as it might come true
Q. I recently told my wife that I fantasized about seeing her having sex with antoher guy while I just watched. Now that old saying, be careful of what you ask for as it might come true, has come true. She found a guy she both likes, is attracted to, ...
A. 8 December 2006: I am very glad you have had a successful encounter.....i am delighted that you have realized exactly what i HAVE been talking about. it gives you an entirely new world if you can make that break from "what will the neighbors think."
Now cont... (read in full...)
He lied to me, He was married with 3 kids all along!!... Im hurting and empty and feel I will never find the right guy!!!
Q. hello. i just broke it off with my bf. we were dating for quite sometime now and few days ago i found out he is married with three children and all the things he told me about himself were all lies at least his name was real, when i asked him he d...
A. 8 December 2006: Well I am not a boy but believe me....I know all about the lying cheating bunch of us.
Men cheat because they can. Men lie because talking is really easy...and it gets you in the sack and if you really don't start to care about the chic... (read in full...)
My friend posted a hurtful question about me on this site..how do I talk to her about it?
Q. Dear Agony aunts this is a question for you. I have come across a question posted by someone I know. I have recently told this person that I am an agony aunt on this site. And I recommended this site to that person. Now however, they have done the ...
A. 8 December 2006: If she has not hurt you as you state....why must you confront her. I don't think its obvious at all....maybe to you. And do you know for absolutely certain....did she use your name? like
My friend Gwen says she likes my boyfriend Phillip and ... (read in full...)
I'm split w/ my wife and fell in love with a girl 16 years younger - is this just a mid-life crisis?
Q. hi i would like to get some opinions from you i wonder can any of you help me with this quistion.i have just walked out on a 21 year marrige and left behind me a wery loving wife and grown up kids my youngest is 13 and oldest is almost 22.i fell in ...
A. 8 December 2006: Well of course it CAN last....there are exceptions to every rule.
So did you not love your wife BEFORE you met miss thing or was that a result of you meeting someone who makes you feel so alive again.(whooo hooo) two years older than your chil... (read in full...)
Gambling, misogyny, porn...all he does makes me feel low down and bad. What should I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I are always on/off. He looks at porn all the time but ONLY lesbian porn.. sometimes mature women sometimes younger. Sometimes I have gone to bed and he is still at it.. I have unfortunately caught him with his trousers down. I ...
A. 30 October 2006: Ok...he's looking at porn....and you don't like it.
But you need to understand that this man's problems are much deeper than some naughty pictures. You are looking everywhere for something to blame....first it's porn....then it's you....then it's... (read in full...)
I'm not quite sure how to make myself happy....any advice???
Q. I need to ask is the story I'm about to give sound sad? I used to get bullied badly at school and was too scared to tell the teachers AGAIN as the bullying got worse. Although thats over now, since then and after my girlfriend broke up with me after...
A. 30 October 2006: You know high school is not the world and neither is the town you live in. But for many young people....other peoples opinion Becomes who they are. If others see you as a clown...you live up to it. If you get a reputation as a trouble ... (read in full...)
Heartbroken over my husband's use of pornography! I don't want to live like this forever! What can I do?
Q. hello i am heartbroken with a spouse who i love dearly and don't want to leave! we have 2 kids. My realationship is tainted with his use of porno videos and using the internet, i have explained to him how i feel also telling him i don't want to live ...
A. 17 October 2006: Thank you for waking me up. However, I asked a question and gave specific examples of the Sort of answer I was seeking. Why she objects to porn is very important. If she objects to porn because he is watching films that depict violence it is an ... (read in full...)
Most my friends seemed to have abandoned me!!
Q. Hello, It was my 37th birthday in March of this year and this question feels like something a teenager would be asking. I celebrated my birthday with a big group of women I was proud to call my friends. These women ranged from 29 to 53, each wit...
A. 16 October 2006: I don't mean to be mean but....
Most of that seemed to be about YOU....They have abandoned me. Now first of all...your just a bit younger than I am. wow..congrats for having someone give a dang about your birthday....I don't have many Girl... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to get turned on by what my girl did with her exes?
Q. I have very good sex with my girlfrined however sometimes I ask her to tell me what she did with her ex-boyfriends or one nights stands in the past. sounds daft but I get aroused by this, almost like hearing a dirty story..however it involves ...
A. 16 October 2006: It is actually normal for many people. Just don't let the stories turn into something you begin to obsess or get jealous over. Don't forget to create your own stories...that you can both rehash during sex. That's fun too. Hey remember that time ... (read in full...)
Now that his ex has found out about us she wants him back and won't stop at nothing til she gets him....including threatening me!!!
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend since i was 15 and we have a 1 an 1/2 year old son, we have been together 5 years i recently found out he had another girlfriend and lived with her when i was younger they were together for four years she claims, i have ...
A. 16 October 2006: I don't mean to be unkind to HIM....but she is His problem and SHE would not continue if she got NO encouragement from him. If He wanted rid of her...he would change his number...never answer one of her calls and assure you that he was never ... (read in full...)
Have I made the right decision in staying with my husband and remaining loyal? I cannot get my true love out of my head.
Q. I have been married for 11 years to my husband N and have two kids aged 6 and 10. My husband and I had a communication breakdown some time ago and I felt very alone and isolated by him and our sex life was for some years practically non existant. ...
A. 16 October 2006: Well and for the first time he also has had to make an effort to keep you. You don't know how terrific the ground is until you have to walk through air. You showed him that the world could fall out from under him if he does not appreciate it. ... (read in full...)
I am almost 14, how do I tell my boyfriend I am ready for sex?
Q. im ready to have sex with my boyfriend he has done it be4 but the thing is he now lives in a different state but its not that far away and i don't know how to tell himwe been together for a while now and i really love him i know he wants to have sex ...
A. 16 October 2006: Sweetheart, if you are not ready to openly discuss sex and all the exact specifics with him...you are not ready to have sex.
Until you can say without embarrassment. "Because I am a virgin we will have to do this very slowly and carefully. And befo... (read in full...)
If I know she really doesn't want kids and I do is that a big enough issue to think twice about our marriage?
Q. I know I want kids, she's not 100% sure nowadays. We've been married for 6 years now and were starting to get serious about having kids. Yes, we probably should have been on the same page before we got married, but I thought we were. She's got...
A. 16 October 2006: Yes. Try babysitting for say two weeks. It will show exactly what sort of a mom she will be. And don't think you can take care of it all alone.
I never wanted kids....my husband pushed me after saying he didn't care when we were dating....now don'... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a man winks at you?
Q. What does it mean when a man winks at you?...
A. 15 October 2006: It could mean he just said something that he hopes you find witty and charming.
It could mean he's about to pull a joke on someone and hey you...come play along.
It could mean you look exactly like his grand-daughter and he winks at her all the ... (read in full...)
He says he will leave me if I don't have sex with him....I'm a virgin!!!
Q. I am going out with this guy, he is 18 and I am 16. I really love him. A LOT. We've been going out for about three months. He wants to have sex, but I don't. I am a virgin and I am kinda scared. He says he's gonna leave me if I didn't give him what ...
A. 15 October 2006: Tell him you don't want to see him again.
See...the virgin thing Is a huge can of worms...
Guys will spend the rest of their lives Bragging about how they "Popped your cherry" Its about them...what THEY want....not about you.
Selfish Guys don't g... (read in full...)
How do you deal with the fact that someone doesn't love you anymore?
Q. Ok. So, how do you deal with the fact that someone doesn't love you anymore? I had never before been in love cause I never let anyone in (never wanted a broken heart, cause I am not that strong of a person). I finally let this guy in...and I love ...
A. 15 October 2006: I know it sounds horrible, but you accept it.
You accept that If you truly love him as much as you Think you do that whatever they want is OK...even if that means they want to be with another or even just not with you. Real love is about the othe... (read in full...)
Be careful of what you ask for as it might come true
Q. I recently told my wife that I fantasized about seeing her having sex with antoher guy while I just watched. Now that old saying, be careful of what you ask for as it might come true, has come true. She found a guy she both likes, is attracted to, ...
A. 13 October 2006: Your right...you need someone who plays to answer that question.
Can this situation Be successful. It can be fun and charming and the most fun you have ever had...If you can make that jump past....Regret and Jealous.
Take your time with this dec... (read in full...)
I cheated on her several times but now, she's done it to me..with my best friend!! What should I do??
Q. I am having a problem right now with my wife. I have cheated on her several times before but now that she has done it to me, I don't know how to deal with it. She had an affair with my best friend. Please advice on what to do? Thanks ...
A. 13 October 2006: You don't know how to deal with exactly what your have done to her? Do you love her? Does she love you?
Are you really serious about each other or do you want an open marriage or do you want to leave?
It is not a game of chess and the idea is ... (read in full...)
I have a good male friend who is married and he's been coming on hard and fast! What does this all mean?
Q. I've been good friends with this guy now who's 26 now for about a good month or more now, but the thing is that he's married and we catch up usually 1-2 times sometimes more, a month cos he's so busy with work. But what im trying to figure out, he ...
A. 13 October 2006: He wants a little on the side. He'd like to have sex if your willing but don't think he's looking to leave the wife or BE yours. That is all it means.
Now...Do you want sex and little else or are you looking for someone who you can really Be seen... (read in full...)
I am 16 and my parents are trying to stop me from going back to my abusive ex. Do I have rights?
Q. Me and my boyfriend split around .. 2 months ago he cheated on me alot and hit me and treated me bad. I was ok we didnt see each other or speak, i met osmeone and was happy. My ex rung me crying saying he missed me and never realised how muc...
A. 13 October 2006: Well if you are mature enough to be IN LOVE...you are mature enough to wait two years....two years is not even a blink in a long term relationship...
Two years is a fair punishment for hitting you...even one time.
Because if someone hits my child... (read in full...)
I love this guy, but the death of a gf he loved, haunts him! What can I do?
Q. My on/off boyfriend fell in love when he was 13 and was in a relationship for two years with this girl. While they were still going out he had to watch her die as she was hit by a bus. This has seriously screwed with his head as you can imagine. I ...
A. 13 October 2006: Death of people we love will never go away. As he grows up...time will ease it. But there is really nothing you can do to Fix him...accept him as is or move on. Girls don't get to wish away a boys troubles...... (read in full...)
I've decided to let my crush go, wrote him a letter but have received no response!
Q. Dear Cupid, Last Wednesday, I made the decision to accept the fact that my crush just wants to be friends and nothing more with me (in other words, I finally decided to let him go after nearly two years of constant pining over him). Well, on...
A. 13 October 2006: Let IT GO...
honey you gave him an out...you told him he didn't have to answer...but you have been waiting all week and that answer is not going to come except with time and wisdom.
Let me give it a shot.
''''''''''''''''
What happened between... (read in full...)
Does anybody know about being a military wife??
Q. Does anybody know about being a military wife??...
A. 13 October 2006: No I personally have not been one.
You move a lot...you live in base housing which is sometimes great...and sometimes shabby. There is a huge amount of political crap among the wives..whose husband is what rank and any officers wife that rank... (read in full...)
Heartbroken over my husband's use of pornography! I don't want to live like this forever! What can I do?
Q. hello i am heartbroken with a spouse who i love dearly and don't want to leave! we have 2 kids. My realationship is tainted with his use of porno videos and using the internet, i have explained to him how i feel also telling him i don't want to live ...
A. 12 October 2006: Ok I need more info. Exactly what is your objection to porn. Is it just a religious thing? Is it something that your mom would not approve of so He can't like it? Is it that you are too shy to see a naked body? You can't compete with silicone? ... (read in full...)
Have I made the right decision in staying with my husband and remaining loyal? I cannot get my true love out of my head.
Q. I have been married for 11 years to my husband N and have two kids aged 6 and 10. My husband and I had a communication breakdown some time ago and I felt very alone and isolated by him and our sex life was for some years practically non existant. ...
A. 11 October 2006: Wow....Hubby's little flaws are pretty significant. And a few weeks of effort IS NOT worth years of what you have dealt with. But, see...You made all the moves....You won him...You pushed HIM. You wanted Kids....he had no need to put any effort ... (read in full...)
Have I made the right decision in staying with my husband and remaining loyal? I cannot get my true love out of my head.
Q. I have been married for 11 years to my husband N and have two kids aged 6 and 10. My husband and I had a communication breakdown some time ago and I felt very alone and isolated by him and our sex life was for some years practically non existant. ...
A. 10 October 2006: Well...you have stayed with your husband....but your are not exactly remaining loyal. Your wishing for someone else and your husband is trying to live up to the other dream guy...and your really not giving him much of a chance. Have you made the ... (read in full...)
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