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| | *eentheredonethat's profile:Ok I am in my 40's and have lived all over the United States and a couple short pops in Canada and Mexico. I am living on the west coast right now.
My relationship status is a bizarre world filled with twists and turns that keep my life in a constant flux. Most of you deal with a relationship problem. multiply that several times and that is where I live. I have one husband and two very Long term boyfriends....I love them all very much. They are aware of each other and finally get along....but I do manage them. And dear ladies, your husband is not safe with me IF you take him for granted...I won't. And you won't catch him because I will teach him to be the perfect husband while he and I are sucking the life out of every moment.
My husband usually manages at least 3 girlfriends at any given time. However, he has not always dealt with them fairly...it has taken me years to create a Player out of him for he likes the danger and the chase...unfortunately you cant lay down rules if your the one giving in to demands. I could not for years convince him of my relief at catching him...well...number 13 and the Smelly...were anything but a relief....they were battle. The Smelly nearly did me in. But it was a great and nasty battle and our marriage was strained to the gills. Yet as it recovered and Bloomed far beyond my Dreams I realized that If he had not played the bad guy...I would have. He saved me from ever having to look at my husband and know that if he really knew me it would kill him. My husband and I Know each other...every flaw every hateful wart on our souls.....yet we still love each other. We don't want to change each other....but reach out our hand to guide one another. True Love is Love no matter what. when you set someone else above you...and cherish them more than yourself...that is true love. True Love can be shown in many forms and if it means you both believe in monogamy...there is nothing wrong with that....unfortunately few actually practice what they believe.
I see past that and love the flaws of my sweet boys as well as their many attributes.
Why do I know so much about affairs? I have had them since I was sexually active...one of my first experiences was with an older married man who was a Player. He taught me that there were rules for successful affairs...and there are. I have had mostly successful affairs because I play by those rules ONLY. I have never once been caught.....think about that...NOT ONCE. Now after it was all said and done...I have had a few who confessed....and I had to have conversations with the jilted angry wife. (I have also had to clean up some of my husbands not so successful messes and had to play the jilted wife...so I get all the absurdities of both ends)
Some of you will hate me because I am being honest here...but that is what you will get from me...an honest answer to your question. If you needed one more person telling you what you wanted to hear...you would be talking to friends...not strangers.
What makes me tick?
Love...I love my children, husband, boyfriends, and family. I love books and history. By understanding why the world is the way it is....we see what parts simply don't matter....and can go on from there. Change is the only true constant in the world.
Sex...it is like a religion to me. There is nothing nasty dirty or horrible about kind loving mutually fulfilling sex among adults....repression and guilt have driven more joy from the world than can be imagined.
Mostly I want to say that most of you are fine...your reactions to things are normal....but on occasion...if you step out of your little box you may see things differently...The only true advise I give is Choose wisely. The rest is just helping you think for yourself.
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My hubby is getting nudie pics of women from a friend...
Q. my husband keeps recieving e-mails from a friend of naked woman in various poses,he hides this from me and it is making me feel insecure,we are in our late forties and he doesnt want to talk about anything with a sexual nature to me but has no ...
A. 8 March 2006: I would not worry about it too much. (the pictures anyway) Boys will be idiots and if he were to tell his friend that he didn't want the pictures...his friend would tease him about being whipped or worse. All men want to fit in with their friends ... (read in full...)
Not sure I can cut my ties to this married guy who I've been a friend and lover to all my life...
Q. I am 37 years old and have had a male friend for approx 20 years - for a number of these year we have been romantically linked and he has lived with me for a while - my sister is married to his brother. Two years ago, he left me and has married ...
A. 7 March 2006: He has moved on...he married someone else.
Now the wife has caught on that there is probably more between you than past smoke and told him he must Choose. He has.
It's painful....but it is not the end of the world.
You must move on too.
How? ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend broke up with me, then gave my number out to A LOT of people! HELP!
Q. Hi i'm 12 and i have a MAJOR problem.My ex-boyfriend who broke up with me last wednesday is a total nightmare!He hasn't talked to me or anything since he broke up with me,but has given my cellphone number out to a lot of people!!!So i did ...
A. 7 March 2006: No it is not a sign that he wants to get back together...it is a sign that his is a jerk who wanted to cause you trouble.
You did not help by playing his game.
Go to your parents and inform them of what has happened...taking responsibility for your... (read in full...)
Married, but seperated, now in love with a married man!
Q. I am a married woman, but separated from my husband. I have stupidly fallen deeply in love with a married man. We spend as much time together as possible, not sexually we just love being together. He says that he loves me and I have replied those ...
A. 7 March 2006: Great answer Irish and shania, I will only add that as you can see from these ladies...you are not the first or the last to make this mistake.
Being a mistress does not sound like it is a role for you...it makes you cry...alot. So ask your... (read in full...)
We caught my daughter and my husband's layabout sun kissing... How can we handle this?
Q. My husband and I have been married for five months. We have caught my daughter (14) and his son (18) kissing on two different occasions. His son graduated May 2005 and doesn't have a job and is not planning on getting one. My daughter goes to ...
A. 7 March 2006: Don't dissapprove but you Should set Some limits. Talk to your daughter as a friend....(not a lecturing mom...who won't listen) The situation is special only because...her New boyfriend is a live-in boyfriend. That makes things awfully hard to ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a lady to be willing, wet, yet get no pleasure at all from sex?
Q. Ladies... A girfriend told me that she had sex but it did not feel good. Never; now I replied that that is rediculous because sex always feels good if the woman is a willing participant. Excuse me for my ignorance but I think that when ...
A. 6 March 2006: No dear, you are not sexually immature.
A good lover will satisfy many women over his life time.....A great lover will satisfy only one.
Keep asking questions, Read anything about female anatomy that you can get your hands on and never ever be ... (read in full...)
How can he say he loves me, then break us up?
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me because he thought things were getting too serious. He says he loves me but doesn't want a serious relationship right now. That doesn't make any sense to me. How you can love someone and not want to be with them? So my ...
A. 6 March 2006: Not everyone is ruled by their heart. It is actually easy to love someone enough to know that YOU Can't give them what they need. Does he have goals in life that a relationship would complicate or end entirely?
If it is meant to be....when he i... (read in full...)
He has feelings for another woman. What do I do?
Q. What do I do now that my husband of 7 years is telling me he has feelings for another woman?...
A. 6 March 2006: First don't panic and Don't throw him out. Good grief no.
Every marriage has its ups and downs...you have heard that statement. Well, this is what is meant by that. 7 year itch is a fact...it sometimes takes 10 years sometimes 2 but it usua... (read in full...)
Fourth time lucky?
Q. If your partner has three failed relationships behind him what are the chances that our relationship will last? Is it true that past behavior represents future behavior?? ...
A. 6 March 2006: No..past behavior is an indicator, but past relationships are not always an indicator of the future. Each relationship brings with it it's own dynamics. Now, if every one of those women divorced him because he was a Cheating Drunk....that is a ... (read in full...)
I want my partner to admit it...
Q. What do I say to get my spouse to confess an affair?...
A. 6 March 2006: You mean on her own? With no proof that they can't deny or make excuses for....wish ya luck! (and I say her simply because I assume your spouse is a female...you did not state the gender)
Do you have proof? Or are you just guessing.
If you fear... (read in full...)
He hit me with a chair, and not for the first time. Should I leave?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are going through a rough patch and the other day he beat me with a chair. Not the first time hes hit me but I'm now debating whether to leave him. I do love him but I'm scared of him and I have no one else to turn to. What ...
A. 5 March 2006: Yes...Run do not walk. Men who hit women do not suddenly stop. Fast forward a couple years...now your married to him...or worse have a child. Every complication makes it that much harder to leave. Do it now before any more can happen. You ... (read in full...)
Does my size matter??
Q. my wife had other partners and was married.this is kind of hard as it is, I feel our sex life is out of this world but she has told me some things that make me feel insecure. I know she didnt mean to hurt my feelings but she told me her ex-husband ...
A. 5 March 2006: Ummm...size does matter very much. If he's too big...and it hurts it is not fun. I too do not acommodate large men...they hurt me and it feels like I am haveing cramps for three or four days afterward. I honestly thought I did not care much for ... (read in full...)
I feel comfortable and safe with my husband. I just can't EVER seem to have an orgasm...
Q. My husband and I have been together for 5 years total. I enjoy our "love life" but I have never had an orgasm. Ever. We have talked about it, tried many, many new things but have still had little luck. I feel that I sometimes come close to climax, ...
A. 5 March 2006: First of all it sounds like you have a great relationship and you are very lucky. Men rarely have to Learn how to have an orgasm...but most women do. It is your job to figure out how. (not because you have done anything wrong in any way...its just ... (read in full...)
Why do people expect great sex?
Q. Why do people expect to be good at sex, to be having great sex? Surely the reality is that most folks will be having bad sex, or no sex at all. Think about it. Most folks can't play tennis. Most folks can't cook great food. Most folks ...
A. 5 March 2006: Well that's really not a question...more of an opening for a discussion.
Your points are very true.
People do expect to have great sex...without study, effort or much of any instruction. Yet great sex does happen.
I am not a pro Golfer eithe... (read in full...)
Money has brought me dating troubles!
Q. Hi. I own my own business and have done well / been lucky. I have a lots of money. This, I'm finding however, is bringing me problems. Two problems mainly. 1. I am attracting girls who are interested in me AND my money. They expect me to trea...
A. 5 March 2006: Money can be a mixed blessing. It is hard to find someone that it does not dazzle. First, buy an old clunker car. Don't flash money like it has no end (don't bait the hook with flash if you don't want to catch something intrested in flash)
D... (read in full...)
My girlfriend broke up and wouldn't say the reason. I guessed correctly that she wants to become a nun!
Q. I am really in love with my girlfriend (now-ex). She is everything that I could ever want, in every way possible. She was the only best friend I have ever had. I know that I love her, because it seems to be unconditional and never-ending. She said...
A. 5 March 2006: If being a nun is in her heart, you will not be able to change that. If you truly love her, you will find a way to accept her choice and support her decision even though it is not what you want or hope for. You thought for a while you would be a ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for a lady to be willing, wet, yet get no pleasure at all from sex?
Q. Ladies... A girfriend told me that she had sex but it did not feel good. Never; now I replied that that is rediculous because sex always feels good if the woman is a willing participant. Excuse me for my ignorance but I think that when ...
A. 5 March 2006: Wetness really has little to do with anything...Sure it CAN be a clue and often is...and yes it certianly happens when you have an orgasm.(for most women) But, guess what....Means NOTHING. In the modern world too much stuff messes with that very ... (read in full...)
We have broken up but he doesn't turn up to agreed meetings
Q. I am having some problems with my ex, 21, since our split after five months. I am 33, we are both gay, and we had a wonderful, honest relationship. However, after New Year he suddenly chose to end things saying things were not working for him....
A. 3 March 2006: Ok...he says there is NO way you will ever be a couple again?
He did this suddenly...you had no warning?
BAM...he's met someone else. (and probably been cheating on you for a while to be that sure of himself)
That is the only reason he would go ... (read in full...)
He's with me but still wears an engraved ring and necklaces from ex gf's. This hurts and why does he do this?
Q. Hi I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year now, we get on really well and have alot in common (im 22 he is 30) the problem is he still wears a ring that one of his ex girlfriends gave him with his and her names engraved in it, wears a n...
A. 3 March 2006: Ok..no big deal here.
It would be much worse if he were trying to sneak around and see the old flames. right?
I just don't get the whole he's being honest and up front about his entire past and so I am upset and want to make him stop...t... (read in full...)
I'm pretty and nice..my friend is ugly. So how did she get a bf and I didn't?
Q. Not boasting, just being confident, but im dead pretty and nice, and my mate is dead ugly and can be really horrible, then how did she get a bf and i didnt? im lonely and i want a bf because now shes left me for her new guy. ...
A. 3 March 2006: Your FRIEND? Who calls their FRIEND DEAD UGLY? and REALLY HORRIBLE???? If I had a friend who's face was burnt off I would not call them DEAD UGLY...
Maybe if you learned to treat your FRIENDS LESS Like people from a leper colony....the pote... (read in full...)
Found the "shirtless" photos of my "shy" online guy on another website under a different name!
Q. Ok this isn't a serious problem but I would just like some thoughts. About two months ago I met this guy on the internet. We became really close. We would send pics of ourselves to eachother etc..and just talk about things we did that day. Well one ...
A. 3 March 2006: Ok...maybe...but a few things really quick.
You have only known him two months....maybe it was up before you met.
if he's Realllly hot someone may have pirated His pic so he could get pics of other women who are younger etc...people... (read in full...)
How long does it take to feel comfortable with dating after a divorce?
Q. How soon after a divorce do people usually feel comfortable dating? ...
A. 1 March 2006: You set the time table. 15 minutes is fine with some..others never ever date again. You should be somewhere in between. Have you met someone you Want to date? If so...it's time. Dates are not relationships unless you have several of them with ... (read in full...)
Any way I can tell if the married man I'm dating will leave his wife, kids, for me?
Q. Why did i have to start dating a married man! It's been almost a year now, he's in his late 30s and says that, even though he loves me, he won't leave his wife because they have been together since she was 16 and they have children together and so ...
A. 1 March 2006: He's told you he won't? But your still looking for some little clue to Hang onto? Don't.. you are just torturing yourself. You add spice to his life...but you will never BE his life. Don't waste your time full of hope and wishes...take charge of ... (read in full...)
Can I get over him cheating on me more than 80 times?
Q. Is it possible to get over a man cheating on you if he's done it over 80 times? I've thought of counselling but a bit scared of opening 'pandoras box'. I thought I got over the first few but the one's that involve people I know who were friends of ...
A. 1 March 2006: 80 times?
Well I know everyone here is against someone who cheats and there is nothing wrong with that opinion.
What is important is what YOU want. Is this man the true love of your life? Do you love him unconditionally? Has he ever put any ... (read in full...)
Is it my husband's indifference that has attracted me to his best friend?
Q. Dear Cupid, Wow, where to begin! I'm Married (have been now for 9yrs!) I used to think it was a great marriage and I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have found my Husband. The thing is that since we had children 7yrs ago all effort to keep t...
A. 12 February 2006: Do you want the Truth? DO NOTHING! If you end up kissing James or anything else...expect that someday he will be banished from your life. Let's say you have an affair...and you get caught. What is hubby gonna think of his best friend...EVEN if ... (read in full...)
Suspect my girlfriend is cheating with a couple, because of the way she acts around them!
Q. I think my girlfriend is cheating. She is working late more often and doing different things during sex. I think it's with another couple. She always talks about them. They were over the other night and it seemed like I wasn't even there. They did ...
A. 6 February 2006: Well...I don't like the word confront in this situation.
First you need to decide what your reaction would be no matter what the answer.
A) yes...I have wanted to tell you...they are swingers and we are a threesome...would you like to make it 4?
B... (read in full...)
My family and friends are totally against our love! I don't want to have to choose...
Q. In October, I started cheating on my husband with this Mexican guy, Charlie. My husband and I had been having a lot of problems, and at first Charlie was just a little fling to keep my mind off things. But I ended up falling crazily in love with ...
A. 6 February 2006: A very dear friend of mine fell in love with and married a man who was illegal. They have never gotten his citizenship straightened out in the last 8 years and it has been a nightmare. I can't even tell you the terrible time she has had. She even ... (read in full...)
There's 20 years between us and he's married, but it's only a bit of fun. Should we leave off?
Q. I'm 17, and after a drunken night I ended up fumbling in a back of a taxi with this 37 year old married man. We got intense but we didn't sleep together. I have started seeing him every Sunday, and things are getting more intense as time goes by. We ...
A. 6 February 2006: Sigh...you both know it is just a bit of fun.
I had a bit of fun with an older man...he was 37, I was 17...and it has always been a sweet memory for me. He knew lots more than my little college boyfriends...I was totally hot for him and we carr... (read in full...)
He dating his ex and she's pregnant with his baby, but he wants to be with me too. What should I do?
Q. i met a lad, my brothers mate when i recently went away to visit my family.We went out and we kissed but nothing else. When i returned home we kept in contact and he was saying that he really like me. I am now moving up to this place ( bearing in ...
A. 6 February 2006: Unless you are into threesomes...forget him. He may be a great friend to your brother...but he will bring you nothing but sorrow, trouble and more sorrow. You don't HAVE to date someone just because they run in the same circle as you...SO what. ... (read in full...)
My friend's online dating guy is a cheating rat! How do I tell her this?
Q. Hi all, I really need some advice about this. I joined an online dating site about a month ago. I joined this particular site because a couple of friends of mine have had some successes. One of these friends, met a guy last summer and has been...
A. 6 February 2006: Easy answer...show her the proof and let her deal with it as she sees fit. If she wants you to continue to see how far he'll go...help her. Just be sure to understand that you did not join the site to snoop on him. It was an accident and you were ... (read in full...)
The photos on her camera were pretty devastating. I left and haven't spoken to her in 3 days. Am I overreacting?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been in a serious relationship for 2 1/2 years now. I am going to be 30 and she is 23. We have all along talked about marriage, kids, our age difference, etc. It never really mattered. I was really careful in the 1st year ...
A. 6 February 2006: Hire a house keeper once a week or once every two. It will take some of the bickery stress off her.
You are expecting her to go to school..thats a full time job. Then she was working....and you would rather her stay home and to chores rath... (read in full...)
One of my Dad's friend's sexually molested me while I was sleeping-not sure if my parents will believe me. What should I do?
Q. please help.i dont know who to ask about this...my parents often have big parties with many of their friends. its always very "uppity" and full of people i cant stand. everyones always drinking, and quite often since there are many spare rooms in my ...
A. 6 February 2006: OK...you and he had sex. Was he your first? I do understand what the others are telling you but you seem very afraid to tell your parents.
It is not your fault in any way, however, what did you do about it at the time. Nothing. You opened the ... (read in full...)
Should I keep ignoring him after all he's done, even though I miss him!?
Q. I was seeing my boyfried for 6 months. We had quite alot of ups and downs. I heard a few rumours that he was seen with another girl before, but he denied it completly and i could only give him the benifit of the doubt. Last Sunday he invited ...
A. 6 February 2006: Honey I am so sorry he treated you like that. Now he's calling and you wonder why. Well...lets see. Did the crazy hell cat dump him? So your plan B?
Did he stand up and be a man and say I am sorry...Nope. He acted like he didn't get it.
He lo... (read in full...)
There's a spark between me and my pastor. But I'm married!
Q. I am a 30 year old married woman, and in the past few months, I've been having growing feelings towards the pastor of my church, who is a 40 year old married man. The thing is, I don't think that I'm the only one that feels this way. I've noticed ...
A. 6 February 2006: Enjoy the secret spark as a complement...then leave it alone. I watched a church tear itself apart due to the affair of a woman and the pastor. He was supposed to be counciling her.
A)Nobody had a right to stick their nose in it because it was ... (read in full...)
The average size??
Q. Hey, i am 15 and am curious to know if a 6.5" penis is below average?.....any answers?...
A. 5 February 2006: Dear 6.5,
First..no it is not Below average...it Is average. Now I know you are worried about being able to please girls someday. I am going to give you something that most boys spend their whole life wondering and stewing about. Boys are buil... (read in full...)
Why do I hang onto so much bitterness in my heart for my husband's infidelity?. Help me understand
Q. I am a 42 years old and have been married 26 years. I got married at 16 and have only been with my husband. My husband was 20 when we got married and had been with other women. Back then, (hispanic culture) is what we did, get married and have ...
A. 5 February 2006: Dear Lady,
Your bitterness is understandable for a while. Forgive him. In your situation, you were brought up to believe in fairy tales...if you are a perfect wife...they will always be a perfect husband. He shattered your fairytale...now it i... (read in full...)
My husband told me he doesn't love me and is considering an affair. What should I do?
Q. My husband told me he doesn't love as much as he used to and that he considered having an affair with someone that he works with. He now refuses to even talk about the problem and only says that he would like it fixed....
A. 5 February 2006: Ok against the grain here. So he explained to you that things have gotten so bad for him that he was tempted and not certian how long he could resist if the problem was not fixed. (If the problem is sex..ie you use it as a wheapon he must beg... (read in full...)
Feel good about getting over my ex, but sorry her BF cheated on her. Should I send V Day flowers?
Q. I cut off contact from a woman I was seeing when she went back to an ex boyfriend. She wanted to stay in touch, but I didnt answer her phone calls, to help me get over her. It's now been 7 weeks of no contact, the hurt has gone and I feel good abo...
A. 5 February 2006: Send her flowers. If nothing else it will remind the boyfriend that he better watch his step...there may be a back up plan waiting in the wings. Send something unusual...not just red roses...but something like peach or yellow or pink and don't si... (read in full...)
Lost two boyfriends because I wouldn't let them feel my breasts. What should I do?
Q. I am 15 and I go out with boys, but I admit I get frightened when I am kissing my boyfriend and he tries to feel my breasts so I stop him. I have lost two boys because of this. Should I let him do this and if I do, will he want more?...
A. 5 February 2006: Yes he will want more! It's all they think about at your age...oh well at my age too...at any age actually if they are still breathing. Get used to it. You have not lost them...they simply realised you were not a quick feel and they moved on to ... (read in full...)
When we're together, I believe he loves me and will leave his wife, but when we're apart, we argue and I doubt him!
Q. I know what most will think when I relate my problem but please bear with me and try to understand. I am very much in love with a married man. He has the strangest of relationships with his wife. They do not sleep together (I have also heard th...
A. 5 February 2006: Well I have been on both sides of the fence and I know what they say to each woman. Now at retirement age your situation is very different. You are not going to have to deal with the merging kids, etc. However, if you bicker now about little ... (read in full...)
I feel terrible about my past bad choices, and thinking about what I've done hurts my wife, too!
Q. I hope we can get some help here. I am married about 6 months. We are in our fortys and in our second marriages. We are sure we are perfect for each other in all ways. Our problems stem from my past before marriage about 20 years ago. I lived fo...
A. 5 February 2006: Tell her that you had to go through every one of those women to find her. You wish you had found her right away...but you are so thankful that you will never ever have to look again because it was torture for you. Say," Everything I need is right ... (read in full...)
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