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female
,
anonymous
writes: I am a teenager living at home with my Mum and Dad who have been married for 20 years. I recently found some texts on my Dads mobile and I am now convinced he is having an affair. Please help me because I can't stand the thought of my family been torn apart. What should I do? xXxXx
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male
reader, 2old4this  +, writes (28 September 2006):
 Sometimes people who have been in long relationships or marraiges like to flirt with other people online or through texts sometimes. That could be all this is. Don't underestimate your mother. She may already suspect something. Whatever happens just know that your parents love you and this is a problem they have to work out for themselves.
A
male
reader, indian_male +, writes (28 September 2006):
Hi,
I understand your sadness and depression after finding about your dads extra-marital relation. It concerns your mother and also your life. I dont know how you have concluded that he has an affair, it could be your misunderstanding, it could just be 2 mature and grown up people just flirting with eachother but nothiing actualy is serious about them. Normally people working together do come close to eachother emotionally. I suggest you forget about it for the time being and keep yourself away for sometime. If at all you feel things are getting out of hand then at that stage you can may give him a hint or may be confornt him directly. Please try and talk to him first before telling your mom about it. Take care.
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A
female
reader, beentheredonethat +, writes (28 September 2006):
 You should do NOTHING. You should not worry, talk, accuse or fret. First of all...grown ups like to joke and tease too...and think about how your parents would take some of the messages YOU get from your buddies if they did not have them in context. You may simply be misunderstanding an inside joke. My mother one time told a friend's husband to "Stop it honey!" about six times in front of 40 people. She thought it was me she was talking to. For the next 35 years the two of them hollered "Hi Honey" to each other every time they saw each other even if it was 20 times in a day....those who were not IN on the joke...would assume the worst...which made the innocent little mistake terribly fun for the two of them and a little old and embarrassing for the rest of us...who had to explain how the joke came about. I eventually just shrugged my shoulders and rolled my eyes...which fed the nosy sharks.
Now I don't want to say that you have no business looking at your Dad's messages....you don't...but he's your dad and kids tend to think parents enjoy any attention...and thus the kids are still walking in on you in the bathroom as if the door is only a suggestion....they go thru your jewelry...your make up....your clothing...and your text messages. I personally would laugh if my daughter went through my hubby's....and yes it has happened. My hubby works with several females who constantly send him messages, jokes and flirty goof-ball inside jokes. And we will not even talk about the stuff his guy friends dream up...trying to get him in trouble...hehe. If he is not trying to HIDE them from anyone...they are more than likely innocent. And if you go accusing him of anything...all your doing is showing him you are very nosy.
Now if because of the text, you have followed him around for the last 6 weeks and Know for a fact that He has been bopping the lady from the dry cleaners or what ever...cause you stole the security tapes and took 35mm telephotos of him through the no tell mo tel window....then you should do nothing.
see your parents have their own lives and own business...and no matter what they to to themselves or each other...it is not your job to fix it for either one of them. Don't put yourself in the middle...don't accuse one or tattle to the other. Let them sort it out. Don't ever choose sides unless THEY FORCE you too. Your job is to love them...no matter what....just like they love you. If you don't want your family to fall apart...why intervene to guarantee it significant stress over what is probably Nothing? Your mother is not stupid...If on the off chance there Is something going on....she may be handling it in her own way...which you neither need to approve of or understand. Just be kind to your mother....because on the tiny chance Dad does not realise how great she is....if she should discover he's got a new sweetie....knowing she is not insignificant to her children AND her Husband will mean the entire world to her. Hope all works out for you....do not stress out to much.
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A
female
reader, Rachx +, writes (28 September 2006):
Id confront your Dad about the message. If he is having an affair then your Mum deserves to be told but Id say by him rather than you. Its hard because this will obviously affect your family greatly but you need to be strong whatever the outcome, people go through these things, marriages and relationships are very complex and sometimes things change and people and their feelings change. Good luck x
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A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (28 September 2006):
 Have you spoken to your Dad about this messages you found?
I would start with talking to him and going from there, if your suspicions are correct surely it's better that your Mum knows then carrys on thinking everything is fine while this is going on, but I would say it isn't your place to be the one to tell her if it turns out to be he is cheating.
Good luck :o)
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