How was I supposed to react to this situation?
Q. We have a friend staying with us who is doing some carpentry for us (for pay), and this evening before dinner I said to the hot and dusty guy, "don't you want to take a shower before dinner?" he declined and I repeated, "are you sure? I can ask ...
A. 27 August 2020: If he was not staying with you, and was just there for like the afternoon or something i could understand he might want to take his shower at home.
But as he is staying with you, i can't understand him not wanting to take a shower before dinner. ... (read in full...)
No spark on the first date, should there be a second?
Q. I went on a first date which I had been really looking forward to. It was a guy I met via a dating app and the chat before had been really good. However within the first 5 seconds of meeting, I knew I wasn't attracted to him at all. The date ...
A. 27 August 2020: A lot of people go on a first date, and if the feeling or the spark is not there decide not to embark on a second date. Or some people go for a second date so see if a spark arises.
The chances are that if you go on a second date with him, it ... (read in full...)
Never had a long term relationship - any advice?
Q. I'm 25 years old and I've never been in a long term or serious relationship. I'm happy with myself and with my life, I have great friends, a job I love and a fab family and on the whole I am very content with being single but I feel like I'm at a ...
A. 26 August 2020: I don't think that you are doing anything wrong, you simply just have not met the right one yet. Sometimes we have to try on lots of pairs of shoes before we find the perfect fit.
You have got lots going for you, your happy with yourself... (read in full...)
I like him but my friends have bad things to say about him
Q. I like this guy a lot, we have a great connection, we talk like friends, we have great intellectual conversations too and we have a great sexual attraction BUT he was in high school with some of my now friends. And they have nothing but weird an...
A. 26 August 2020: I think its good that you have friends that are looking out for you. I do however feel that it has got to be your decision on whether you keep seeing him or not.
You say yourself he is different now, older now, and more mature. Although you can ... (read in full...)
Should I continue seeing him even though he lied?
Q. I went on a couple of dates with this guy, we met online. He's a bit older than me, runs a successful company and is handsome. On out dates he was very sweet, considerate and romantic. A really nice guy, who seemed almost too good to be true. For ...
A. 25 August 2020: I would refrain from sending that photo, you know he is a liar. Keep ignoring his calls and texts. I would delete all his contacts details and move on with your life. ... (read in full...)
Should I continue seeing him even though he lied?
Q. I went on a couple of dates with this guy, we met online. He's a bit older than me, runs a successful company and is handsome. On out dates he was very sweet, considerate and romantic. A really nice guy, who seemed almost too good to be true. For ...
A. 25 August 2020: I always think that honesty is the best policy, and i can't understand why he has looked you in the eye and lied about having kids, and a wife, whether he is married or divorced we don't know.
If he said to you he is married, or has been married,... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as right person, wrong time?
Q. I dated this guy for about three months and he ticked all the boxes for me. We were compatible, had everything in common and we had amazing chemistry. I'm usually very picky and don't often feel this way about someone, I've been single for 2 years ...
A. 25 August 2020: You were compatible, and shared amazing chemistry which are signs of the makings of a good relationship.
I think he did the right thing ending things with you, this shows maturity. He knew that if he started a new relationship with you so soon aft... (read in full...)
I broke up with my boyfriend but I miss him terribly he was my best friend
Q. I've just broken up with my boyfriend of 7 years. I called off the relationship. Although I am well aware that this breakup has been coming for a year now, I feel I've lost my best friend. He's a great guy; we can talk about anything and everything. ...
A. 20 August 2020: It sounded like you were describing the perfect guy, up to the point when you said the shady things he does.
You can never change someone, and its pointless to even try. When you do try to change someone you are getting them to change to somethin... (read in full...)
I've become obsessed with him. How do I distance myself?
Q. about 2 months ago , I started spending time with someone who I had known about a year, but had never properly spoke . since then we've spend about 4 times with each other and I know that isint a lot and ive become obsessed and attached to him . ...
A. 19 August 2020: The good thing about obsessions, and infatuations, is impermanence, nothing last's forever.
Although it does not feel like it now the emotions that you are currently feeling will lessen and die down naturally of their own accord.
In this scena... (read in full...)
I realize I am in an abusive relationship but don't know what to do
Q. i went on a few days away trip to the coast with my partner but when we got there he was fed up and bored and his personality changed and he became nasty saying he doesnt like going on holidays and moaning about everything. so i left him in the ...
A. 19 August 2020: OP how long have you been in a relationship with this guy?.
This is someone that you could really do with not having in your life. He sounds like a spoilt brat, a not very nice person, and an all round jerk.
You have both been away for what wa... (read in full...)
What should I think of the way he is treating a FWB situation?
Q. I have a guy friend that I hooked up with once. He use to be a friend of my ex boyfriend. Now not so much. His oldest daughter is friends with my daughter. So we have texted a few times about that. One night about a month ago he messaged me asking ...
A. 18 August 2020: OMG op, he has said he can't date you because of Bro code, but is willing to come over and satisfy his needs.
He is never going to date you, but will continue to come over for sex as long as you will allow it.
You are interested in da... (read in full...)
I don't trust him and its ruining our relationship
Q. A year ago amidst a fight, I discovered my boyfriend of 4 years whom I live with, in the first year we had been together, had still been messaging other women via Facebook. A month after he told me loved me he had apparently invited a woman ...
A. 18 August 2020: That's is the thing with trust, ones trust has been broken its very hard to come back from.
Some people grin and bear it and try to move on the best they can. Some people it eats away at them, and they can't let it go, which puts a block on the r... (read in full...)
Can I reach out after 10 years and apologize again?
Q. When I was 15 years old I met a girl and we became very close. We were best friends for about two years and we fought about petty shit the way teenagers do. Her and I were never romantically involved and we both always claimed we were “straight”. We ...
A. 14 August 2020: Do you want to reach out to her after a decade because of the way you treated her all that time ago?. Do you want to reach out in the hope that it will make her feel better, or make you feel better?.
I think that the majority of people includin... (read in full...)
I think I screwed up with friends and don't know how to fix it
Q. Guys I'm really upset as think I screwed up with some friends They've recently started a new role and I put some complimentary comments on LinkedIn but they have said the company think it's weird I was commenting even tho it was all very complim...
A. 14 August 2020: Yes linkedIN is for work, maybe you should have put what you wrote on facebook, or WhatsApp or something like that.
I think this will show how good friends they really are. You have already sent an apologetic text and received no reply. I would re... (read in full...)
I know he's lying but I need concrete proof
Q. Hello, I have a question I hope someone will know the answer to. So I have been dating someone overseas. He definitely has money issues asks me easily for money. I dont give any. Yes we've seen eachother several times because I go there. Any...
A. 12 August 2020: I hate to say it, and no its probably not what you want to hear, but this sounds like a scam to me.
You are absolutely right to not hand over any money. I think if you handed over the money, you would, A. never seem him again for dust. Or B. its w... (read in full...)
My husband thanked me for sex and I feel sad and hurt about it
Q. Had sex with my husband whom I've been with for 28 years, married 24 years. He as had a operation down below so needs a device to get it hard. I gave him oral sex recently and sat on him and he came without needing the device. He thanked me for the ...
A. 12 August 2020: I think that has was just extremely happy that he had sex with you without the need for the device. He felt like a man, and you turned him on enough so he could go all the way, so he thanked you.
I think you are reading way to much into the than... (read in full...)
How do I go about meeting a potential partner when I have social anxiety?
Q. Hi All, Hope you are doing well in these strange times. Please could I ask your advice on seeking a partner/new relationship? I've been feeling fed up for some time now and just wish I could find a new partner to settle down with. I am ...
A. 11 August 2020: I think its important before you start dating again, or want to get out there with the potential to meet someone is that you are ok with yourself.
I appreciate that you had a difficult relationship, a lot of people have. You have to make sure thi... (read in full...)
He's the perfect guy but doesn't please me in bed. What do I do?
Q. Around two months ago I met this really great guy, he’s been super sweet and I could definitely see myself pursuing a life with him because he’s different from any guy I’ve ever met he treats me like a princess, he’s a gentlemen and has a great ...
A. 11 August 2020: There are many contributing factors that bind a relationship together, and sex does not fall at the top of the list.
Some people have sex for the first time and its amazing, and sparks fly. And some people have to work on it, but by working ... (read in full...)
Would he want a relationship with me if he were to leave his wife?
Q. I was seeing an attached guy for almost 4 years and I recently broke it off because I realized that I wanted more and I started getting jealous of his home life. First of I just want to say I never wanted to be the other woman in the first place, I ...
A. 11 August 2020: I think that this guy never had any intention of leaving his wife for you, so yes you were his booty call as you put it.
You are very young, why would you want to waste your time on someone who is never going to become available, this is absurd. ... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend recently stopped contacting me on Fridays
Q. Hi. I'm in a long distance relationship. I've noticed that for the past 3 Fridays my boyfriend doesn't contact me at all. He contacts me every other day of the week but nothing on Fridays. Even if it's late at night after a long day or if he was ...
A. 10 August 2020: OP I think this is very strange behaviour indeed. In this day and age the majority of people have got there phone with them, or its certainly close by.
How long have you been long distance dating him?.
Have you actually met him in person be... (read in full...)
Does he want me to ask to come over to his place?
Q. Guy I’ve been seeing asked me a few days ago “when are you coming over my house” and i said “whenever you invite me” and he laughed he always comes here but never asks me to actually come over there...
A. 9 August 2020: This was the invitation he was offering you. You could of followed it up with yes how does next Friday sound.
Now that that opportunity has passed, next time you see him broach the subject again.... (read in full...)
My long distance boyfriend recently stopped contacting me on Fridays
Q. Hi. I'm in a long distance relationship. I've noticed that for the past 3 Fridays my boyfriend doesn't contact me at all. He contacts me every other day of the week but nothing on Fridays. Even if it's late at night after a long day or if he was ...
A. 9 August 2020: You say that he contacts you every day of the week, just not Friday's. So maybe when Friday comes around you should establish contact with him.
We could assume after a long week he might want to chill out and relax. But even doing this, how hard... (read in full...)
My married lover broke it off and is now trying to have sex with his asexual wife!?
Q. My married lover broke off our 5 year relationship after his wife saw some messages exchanged between us. We are still in touch. But he has now told me he attempted to have sexual relations with her last night and failed. He's always maintained the ...
A. 9 August 2020: You have got to come to the harsh realisation that this guy is married to another woman, and waiting for him is absolutely pointless.
He is a married man, and has been sleeping with you on the side. This in itself is lying and cheating. If he is... (read in full...)
Am I high maintenance or what?
Q. Hi everyone I had a date tonight that i just feel confused about. Would love to unpack with you all and get information. A guy I've had 2 dates with already invited me to his friends' "party". I was told it was saturday and assumed it would be ...
A. 9 August 2020: I agree with the other aunts, i don't think that you are high maintenance, far from it in fact.
I think its kind of odd behaviour to invite someone to a kids party after only being on two dates with them. Then ignoring them all night so they can... (read in full...)
How do I handle these fears without sounding like I’m trying to force his hand?
Q. I have just turned 35 and I’m starting to worry that my time is running out to get married and have children. I’ve been in a relationship for 18 months now with the best guy and we are talking about moving in together within the next few months, but ...
A. 6 August 2020: Things seem to be going well, you have met a nice, good guy and you are planning on moving in together within the next few months. This in itself is a positive step in the right direction.
You really have got to abolish this thought of you are ... (read in full...)
I’ve never had to deal with a break up so intense like this before, much help would be appreciated
Q. Me and my boyfriend have just broke up after a year, things were great when we first met it was like I found someone not who I only find attracted but is smart, hilarious and very good looking, And I was extremely comfortable around him and I ...
A. 4 August 2020: It sounds like this relationship had run its course, and i think that you calling it a day and moving out and back to your mums was the best decision you could have made.
Break up are never easy, especially in the beginning, all i can say is that ... (read in full...)
Do I say good luck to my ex who is having some tests done?
Q. My Ex and I have endured a rocky relationship to then splitting up the last few months, we have seen one another, stayed over, gone away then next we aren’t talking for days when I ask for more. We aren’t in contact at the moment as I said enough ...
A. 4 August 2020: I agree with Honeypie, if you text him he is going to see this as a green light, and your contacting him will branch out into further contact, which i think you don't want.
don't feel like a bad person for not saying good luck. Just forget h... (read in full...)
My lover and I have wild sex but now I see he's talking to his girlfriend again and wants her back!
Q. So I've been hooking up with a guy for the past 6 months. We get together to have sex. I'm pretty crazy so the sex is wild. He's been enjoying it just as much as I have. He was with his girlfriend at the time and had a 7 year relationship, which I ...
A. 4 August 2020: Because as harsh as it may sound, yes the sex with you is wild, but he still has indepth feelings for the woman he spent over seven years with.
He is talking to her because he still has feelings for her, feelings that stem to more than just wil... (read in full...)
My FWB lied about being single. Do I confront him before ditching him?
Q. Hello. I've had a Friend With Benefits (FWB) since last November and i've just found out that he's lied to me the entire time about not having a girlfriend. I don't know how to deal with the situation. I've asked my friends and they have differ...
A. 4 August 2020: Its hard to say that the girl he is with in these pictures is his girlfriend, his lover, a FWB's that he has been seeing for ages, or even his wife, who knows.
I would say the pictures do depict something of a more serious nature, so odds on ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend hiding his phone snatches it away I'm concerned about his girl friend
Q. Hey everyone. I made a post on here in Jan addressing my bf platonic friendship with this girl (you can go to my other question for backstory). Essentially between then and now my feelings towards her hasn't really changed. I have anxiety and can ...
A. 4 August 2020: It does not sound like there is to much trust going on in this relationship. trust is one of the most important contributing factors that bind a relationship together- without trust a relationship will have trouble getting of the ground.
Basic... (read in full...)
Scared to be myself to my boyfriend, friends and family
Q. Hi, I feel a bit stupid asking about this because it probably seems so trivial. I think everyone has the feeling that other people don’t properly understand them, yet at the same time are so confident that they know us. There is a gap bet...
A. 4 August 2020: I think this is how fashion trends start, someone does something different or out there, then it catches on, and before you know it half the population are doing that very thing.
If every was worried about what people might say or think then not... (read in full...)
I wasn't snooping but seen on boyfriend phone where he messaged a girl. How do I talk about this with him?
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for two years and i love him so much but lately my mental health has been really shit and ive been feeling really low about myself. the other day while my boyfriend was in the shower his phone vibrated but nothing came up ...
A. 30 July 2020: I think if you confront him, yes your right he is going to think you went through his phone, that's because you did, and you did not like what you saw.
I also think if you confront him you could very well open a can of worms. He will not want to ... (read in full...)
He got a text from someone on a gay site do I bring it up? Or just ghost him?
Q. So I went on a date today having chatted to this guy for over a year. He had told me he’d meet up several times but he was very busy so it kept being put off. I was really surprised when at the weekend he asked “ so ok when we doing drinks?” Anyway ...
A. 29 July 2020: I would not ghost him, I can see why your confused. It sounds like the date went well, and he seemed to be making all the right noises.
Maybe go on another date, see how that goes, then just casualy throw in there, " so what is it your looking ... (read in full...)
Friends With Benefits Ghosting Me After We Had Sex The For The First Time
Q. Met a guy who mutually agreed to be friends with benefits with me. Long story short, we hung out at his place the past weekend (our second meeting) and had a great time, it feels. Good sex, good conversation. We really get along. Only problem ...
A. 28 July 2020: I think that maybe he felt the awkwardness after your casual encounter.
Maybe he really liked it and wanted more, but felt like he was being brushed off when you never wanted to cuddle or hold hands.
Maybe he has had his fun and has moved on... (read in full...)
Is it just a fling? Or is it more?
Q. I have been in a long term relationship for 9 years now - with all its ups and downs. We've bought a house together (not married, no children). I was a pretty straight edge person, until i met this other guy. Also in a 10-yr long relationship, the ...
A. 27 July 2020: I take it that his situation is the same as yours, 10 year long relationship, not married no kids?.
I think that if you continue this with him then things just are not going to end well.
You are both being unfaithful to partners that yo... (read in full...)
Do I expose a cheater?
Q. As i write this down i realise how stupid it all sounds and how much of a massive idiot i’ve been. Just over a year ago i went to a 20 year school reunion, i don’t live in the town anymore but i have a lot of friends there and my parents sti...
A. 27 July 2020: I think that your friends are right, you should block his number, delete everything to do with him, and think to yourself how lucky you are that you found out this about him now, and not once you were married to him like his wife did.
If his wife... (read in full...)
Wife and I fight about chores! She says I don't do enough, but I do the same or more!
Q. My wife and I constantly fight about household chores. She says she is "Tired of doing everything!" My response to her is to point about all the things that I do. In our division of chores, she cooks, I do the dishes, I change the cat litter, w...
A. 26 July 2020: What i'm confused about with this post is, if your out at work all day assuming that you are out of the house for 8 hours a day, Monday to Friday, then what is she doing all day during this time of having the house all day to herself?.
While... (read in full...)
I just feel like I'm not as important to him as his drinking buddies and alcohol nights out
Q. My boyfriend is rude to me when he is drunk. Last night he came home at 3am and lay down on the bed fully clothed, lying across my arm and woke me up. I asked him to please move over and he got angry and had a go at me. I had to be up early to go to ...
A. 26 July 2020: It sounds to me like this relationship has unfortunately run its course.
You are right, i don't think he will change either, this is going to go on until you make a stand and move out.
I feel you have already resigned yourself to the fact that... (read in full...)
Why is he mad that I moved on?? When he did not want me.
Q. My ex fiancé left me for someone else two years ago. He always said he wanted to be friends. Recently, him and I connected over Facebook and began a friendship for the past three months. He was nice at first but when I told him out I had a boy...
A. 26 July 2020: Maybe he has just come out of a relationship and thought he would try to reconnect with an old flame.
It did not work the first time around, so the chances are it is not going to work second time around. He left you for someone else, this alone sh... (read in full...)
I've never had a girlfriend should I just give up?
Q. I'm 27 and never had a girlfriend or date before should i just give up?...
A. 25 July 2020: What are you doing in order to try to find a girlfriend/partner?.
Do you socialise, get out and about, or do any internet dating?.
I think at 27 its rather defeatist to say should you give up, or any age for that matter.
If you are real... (read in full...)
My husband admitted his affair, said it's over but why is he still contacting his mistress?
Q. My husband just admitted to a long term affair. His mistress put a post on Facebook telling everyone about the affair because they had a spat. So my husband decided hearing it from him would be best. I am devastated by this. And I'm struggling to ...
A. 20 July 2020: The trust barrier has been broken, once this barrier has been broken its very hard to carry on in a happy relationship/marriage.
He assured you it was over, claiming he has blocked her everywhere. Then behind your back he is creating secret e... (read in full...)
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