Should I just bite the bullet and invite an old friend out for coffee and see how it goes?
Q. Hi, I'm in my mid forties and have had a crush on a childhood boy/ man now, for years. We've never had a full conversation before besides saying "hi". From what I've observed, he seemed to be the quiet type when it comes to girls/ ladies. Our ...
A. 21 March 2021: She probably never knew that you had a crush on her son, neither was she playing match maker. You are a close friend of the family as she was more than likely just being polite.
I would not really read to much into him friend requesting you on f... (read in full...)
My fiance and I are considering become a throuple with her ex girlfriend
Q. I've been with my fiancee Becky for 8 years, we got engaged in 2018 and are getting married in 2022; it was planned for 2020 but got cancelled, first due to our work schedules from January to March, and now the coronavirus pandemic. I'm 38, my wif...
A. 20 March 2021: Its never a good idea bringing a third person in to the bedroom, and more often than not end with the end of a marriage/relationship.
Have a scroll through previous threesome posts and try to find one that had a happy ending.
I think that this ... (read in full...)
I was brave and told a co-worker how I felt but he's sort of left me hanging
Q. I have recently bravely declared my feelings to a colleague *R whom has recently left the supermarket Morrisons company a week ago to train for a new working from home job. Me and R shared banter and bonded well. I told him one to one privatel...
A. 20 March 2021: I feel the relationship between the pair of you was just banter and bonding, and he saw it as nothing more.
He has left the company that you both worked for, this would have been his opportunity to take things up with you and declare his feelings... (read in full...)
My ex lover wants me to send back the vibrator he gave me as a present
Q. This is a pretty bizarre and embarrassing question, but I need someone to tell me what I should do. I dated a guy for just over a couple of months, and it was pretty intense fairly fast (this was when the pubs and bars were still open). He got me...
A. 18 March 2021: This is a very weird request, not sure what his motives are. Can't be of a financial nature of he would have wanted other items back.
As you say this is a personal item, and he is being really creepy.
I would not send it back to him, neither ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about my ex and my fiance being in a relationship
Q. I've become concerned about my fiance Simon; he's been spending a lot of time with my ex-boyfriend John, and now rumours in the neighbourhood are that they're in a sexual relationship together. I broke up with John in 2013 and got with Steve in Ma...
A. 18 March 2021: I think this has all got a bit close to home and needs to be sorted out sooner rather than later.
Did John ever show any signs of being gay in the time you was with him?.
So Simon and John and obviously been seen innocently out together. How ha... (read in full...)
I am declining to go to a wedding. What is an appropriate response if asked why I can't attend
Q. I have a "friend" that I known my whole life because our dads work for the same company. We went to the same high school and hung out often. As an adult, I can't stand him. He always wants to go places but wants other people to pick up his tab....
A. 17 March 2021: He is a friend that has been in your life, and now isen't, like you say you no longer do anything with him.
He is obviously not a friend you want in your life, so it stands to reason you would not want to attend the wedding.
Just send the... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend said that he does not know what will become of us. What does this mean?
Q. Hi everyone. I am in need of some advice on how to move forward in my situation. I have been with my partner for 9 years. We split up two months ago because over the past year we have been in lockdown together (both working from home) and over t...
A. 15 March 2021: I agree with Code warrior, i think you need to chill out about this whole thing.
Your hanging off of his every word, and clinging onto the fact that you are going to get back together and all with will be rosy and good again.
Yes a lot of ... (read in full...)
Why would my new boyfriend still be talking to his old girlfriend?
Q. Hey y'all. My boyfriend of 6 weeks and I have run into some interference from his ex girlfriend of 8 years. He moved to my country and we started dating after he broke up with her. She was not in touch with him at all during those 6 weeks and then ...
A. 15 March 2021: While i don't condone snooping through someones phone while they are otherwise engaged, in this particular case it has revealed some very worrying facts regarding his commitment and feelings towards you.
You ask what is going on here?. He is on th... (read in full...)
My wife suddenly wants an open marriage and wants me to date her friend but she doesn't want anyone else
Q. My wife Katherine wants us to have an open marriage and her reasoning for it is "most guys want another woman on the side and you'll probably have one anyway; I don't want another man on the side at all, you're the only man for me." She wants me t...
A. 15 March 2021: I think that she has carried her insecurities of being cheated on in the last relationship, and is thinking that your going to do the same.
Although you may have no intentions of being unfaithful to her, in her mind she actually believes you will... (read in full...)
Should I tell his wife? I found out I was dating a married man
Q. I dated this guy who has a 13-year-old daughter for the past 18 months, he told me he was separated, thought nothing of it; his daughter likes me. Then I later find out a week ago he's still legally married to his wife; his wife's a nurse and she ...
A. 15 March 2021: I don't think you should tell the wife, what good will do to turn her life upside down.
I know its hard, its never easy to go through something like this. I feel all you can do is walk away with your head up high, and think things could have bee... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I fought and haven't spoken in a week. His bday is coming what should I do?
Q. I quarreled with my boyfriend a week ago He asked me to call him late at night, but I couldn't because my sister was asleep So he was upset and made it a reason not to speak to me for so long.His birthday these days I don't know what to do, w...
A. 15 March 2021: I don't know how serious the argument was, but it sounds like the relationship has come to an end.
Maybe you could have made the phone call away from where your sister was sleeping, or gone outside.
You chose not to make the call, and now I ... (read in full...)
I'm 44 he's 25. He wants to meet in real life. Thoughts??
Q. I'm 44 and he's 25.....we met on fb this past summer after he sent me a request:) My initial impression of him was that he was a good looking guy but a bit insecure and perhaps a bit full of himself( bc of al the selfies and muscle pics on h...
A. 13 March 2021: Way to much drama, i'm sure you don't really need all of this going on at your time of life.
Block him, and the mother and move on with your life. ... (read in full...)
S it wrong that I sometimes get jealous, bitter and resentful towards teen couples and early 20s couples, couples in their 20s? because I was single for most of those years
Q. I was single for all of my teens and most of my 20s, i didn't really start dating until i was 29, i lost my virginity at 25, it was a fling, casual sex, so no emotional connection, but my sex life has been non-existant for most of my life, just a ...
A. 11 March 2021: I'm sure you sent a post almost identical to this one a while back, and you received some good advice. Apologies if this was not you.
I think as with anything in life it's important to look forward and not back.
You could put a positive spin ... (read in full...)
My husband has been receiving weird things in the mail. We don't know why or what to do about it
Q. I've had to change names in this for anonymity reasons. My husband is worried about opening the mail after receiving mail addressed to him that he didn't order; not one, but three. He received a package last Monday; he was expecting it...
A. 10 March 2021: It does not sound like a scam to me, scammer's normally want to extract personal information from you in order to take money from you.
Its rather strange to me that he has received some quite extravagant gifts, being sports gear, and a substant... (read in full...)
MMF With wife to explore Bi side
Q. Married for 8 years with 2 kids. Wife comes from a conservative background and did not have much sexual experience when we met. Neither did I but I had more than her. We have both grown sexually together and have what I would define as a good sex ...
A. 10 March 2021: We get a lot of people writing posts on DC regarding wanting to live out the fantasy of bringing a third party into the bedroom, and some have already indulged in it.
The results are always the same, which is the people in question have run into... (read in full...)
Leaving my husband is a problem since I have nowhere to go
Q. I've been with my husband 6 years we got married 4 years ago. I moved in with him 3 days after we met,mad I know. The first 6 Months we're great. Then the bomb shell dropped,he had a mental health problem,he had been diagnosed with borderline ...
A. 10 March 2021: It is a shame that you moved with his after only 3 days, if you had waited it out a bit then maybe you would have found out all this stuff about him before hand, rather than moving in then getting married, then finding out all this stuff.
Anywa... (read in full...)
I don't love my live in boyfriend anymore but I can't get him to leave
Q. Hey everyone. Hoping someone can give me some advice in regards to my relationship. I'm a 32 year old woman and my boyfriend is the same age. We've been together coming up 5 years. Our relationship was on and off at the beginning. He would b...
A. 9 March 2021: OP, of course he is being nice to you, he does not want to go back to his parents, as he is independent now. I'm sorry, to say he is independent now is a joke.
You have done well for yourself, you have your own place, pay the bills, and he has b... (read in full...)
Lifestyle/swinging destroying my marriage
Q. I need advice. I’m trying to decide whether my marriage is worth saving. I’ve been married for 12 years. Several years ago my husband approached me about experimenting with swinging. I said that I wasn’t comfortable with sex with others. He ...
A. 9 March 2021: I think that your marriage was over as soon as you indulged in the swinging scene, you helped and took part in making his fantasy come true.
So many posts come through DC related to swinging and bringing a third party in to a relation... (read in full...)
My husband wants to quit his job as a university professor to work at McDonalds
Q. We've been in Australia for 7 years now, and my husband works as a professor in a local university. He told me three days ago he wants to quit his job so he doesn't have to work from home, and would prefer to work at the local McDonald's as "a...
A. 8 March 2021: I can't quite get my head around why a university professor would want to give all that up to work in a fast food outlet, i think he has taken leave of his senses.
You say that you are already worried about finances if he did quit, and quite ri... (read in full...)
I left my ex girlfriend during the pandemic because I felt suffocated but now I realize I made a mistake. Should I contact her or leave her alone? Title
Q. Hi. I am a guy who made a real dumb ass mistake. I left my beautiful girlfriend about 6 weeks ago. We had an argument about my being inattentive towards her. And she was right. I was taking her for granted. I was not treating her right and got angry ...
A. 7 March 2021: It sounds to me like you made a huge mistake and threw away something beautiful. You have come to the realisation that the grass is never greener on the other side.
She obviously really like you a lot,which is why she was the one doing all the ... (read in full...)
My husband has changed and I don't feel like I'm getting what I deserve
Q. I have been married for 7 years and together off and on (prior to getting married) for approximately 4 years. When we just got together, my husband was a very sweet guy. He made me smile and made me feel special. We took a break for a couple of ...
A. 7 March 2021: I think that this relationship had sadly run its course before you both decided to tie the knot.
I think maybe you should of called its quits when things went sour, and that getting married to him was a big mistake.
You are not happy in thi... (read in full...)
How do I make my husband feel manly when he has to wear a sports bra for medical reasons?
Q. My husband does not want sex with me, but his reason is nothing to do with cheating or anything like that. He told me he's embarrassed because he's been prescribed a sports bra for a hiking injury and has to wear it for a few weeks, and he th...
A. 7 March 2021: I recall a post very similar to this one a few months back.
All you can do is tell him he has only got to wear it for a few weeks to get him on the road to recovery, then he can stop wearing it.
Tell him the doctors have got his best interes... (read in full...)
He's lied to me repeatedly. How do I trust him?
Q. I come from a strict but very loving Indian family. I ended up in a relationship with a white male during lockdown 2020. So since June 2020 (had spoke online for months prior) we had been communicating. August 2020, he opened he had lied to me ...
A. 6 March 2021: At the end of the day he has lied to you and you are now having a problem moving forward.
I would imagine that you want a serious relationship with the outcome being marriage. As you say that you can't see him as your husband anymore then maybe it... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is on a messaging app in the early morning hours while I am sleeping? What is going on?
Q. Hey, I am worried about my boyfriend's loyalty. I could be totally off and maybe you guys can help me see clearly what is going on here? Well we both use Whatsapp and I noticed that he was last seen on it early this morning at 3 a.m. I was aslee...
A. 6 March 2021: Personally i don't think that you are fully over being cheated on in your past relationship, and you have carried these insecurities in to this relationship.
I don't think its a red flag, you saw that he checked whatsapp, nearly everyone has got ... (read in full...)
How can I move forward in this relationship if she keeps talking about her past?
Q. Im 27years old and never been in a serious relationship and the women i have dated have always had mental health problems or low self esteem.Anyway during this pandemic I met this woman online, she is 25 years old...we connected 2 months ago....we ...
A. 6 March 2021: She still talks about her son as if she is still his mother, because she is still his biological mother and always will be.
she gave the child up because the father was not fit to look after the child?. she should have left him and brought ... (read in full...)
I'm a teacher. How do I cope with young boys coming on to me and wanting to have sex?
Q. I am a teacher. Have been in this profession for over 42 years. I am bisexual and do like young boys. For the last 8 years or so I am frequently being importuned by my students to have sex with them. Earlier it used to be older boys asking me, boys ...
A. 6 March 2021: I think that the start of your post does sound wrong on all levels.
Your in a professional job, a job that requires teacher student boundries.
Being a teacher you are there to teach, nothing more. You are a professional adult, and you need to ... (read in full...)
How do you guys deal with partners complaining about weight.
Q. How do you guys deal with partners complaining about weight. Like I’m getting so fed up. I personally have been getting anxiety as I have not been able to hit my goals due to lockdown. So I spent some money and purchased some equipment. It’s ...
A. 5 March 2021: All you can do is advise her, be positive towards her, and tell her how beautiful she always looks.
Apart from that the only person that can really help her is her, and no one else.
Tell her how exhilarated and good you feel after a run, and... (read in full...)
My husband is obsessive about the idea of us having a threesome with his friend
Q. I've been married for 4 years now. My husband is obsessive about the idea of us having a threesome with his friend. He keeps telling me how good the threesome would be, but there's two factors that put me off it: First of all, the guy's 6...
A. 5 March 2021: If you take part in this fantasy of his i can't see anything good coming from it, only resentment and heartache further down the line.
Like Honeypie told you, look around DC at previous threesome questions, you will see time after time people s... (read in full...)
I don't feel loved anymore and I'm always worried that he's cheating
Q. I don't think my partner actually wants me anymore. I am someone who enjoys cuddles, and kisses and wee bits of affection. My partner never does that unless he wants sex. Even sitting watching a movie together and I will want a cuddle ect and he...
A. 5 March 2021: I don't know how long the pair of you have been together, but has he ever been loving torwards you in the early stages of your relationship?. If so, when did things start to change.
I think that maybe communication is the key here. Talk to him a... (read in full...)
I really want my own place I avoid my room mates but wonder if its worth the money to get my own place
Q. Hi Cupid’s: I want a bit of advice about my living situation please! I moved for work for just over a year now and moved just before the pandemic! Typical! I moved in with some fab people, all creative and it’s a 6 bed I’m getting to the ...
A. 5 March 2021: As you say, its good you are grateful that you have a roof over your head.
I don't think its right that you go without eating just because your housemates are in the kitchen. Can't you just work your way around them, or wait till they have lef... (read in full...)
Why is he being so overly dramatic? Is this a manipulation of some sort?
Q. I have recently started seeing a guy. Both of us have been through a divorce approximately 10 years ago for each of us. I am taking things very slowly with him, but he has said several times, "Don't break my heart. Promise me you won't break my ...
A. 3 March 2021: I agree with the other aunts here, he has got some serious insecurities, and is manipulating you.
You have only just started seeing this guy, and even in these early stages there are already major red flags.
Not that your going to, but wh... (read in full...)
My fiance wants too much oral sex
Q. My fiance want too much oral sex. I was just getting use to giving head and then last night he actually tried f****** me in the mouth. Holding my head while he was on his knees. I was not use to this so he hollers at me for doing it wrong. I felt ...
A. 1 March 2021: I think he is totally wrong yelling at you,i mean, who does he think he is treating you like this- your his fiance, not an inflatable doll.
I think communication is key here. If this dreadful behaviour happens again i would consider leaving ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my boyfriend share pictures of me on social media?
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend since summer 19 And he is the greatest thing that ever happened to me he’s always there for me emotionally shows me love and affection, spoils me, and is my best friend. I lost my mom to cancer in October and he has never ...
A. 1 March 2021: Like you say he may not be an active user. I don't think he is being funny or is not wanting other people to see you. He could just very well be a private person, or is respecting you as he may think you might not want to be plastered all over his ... (read in full...)
Why would a colleague send me this?
Q. I am a married man. A married female colleague of mine, whom I adore, has sent me a fresh pantyliner, what does she mean by that?...
A. 1 March 2021: I would doubt if this was even from your colleague, but rather someone else playing a prank on you.
If you know and adore this colleague so much go to her and ask her what this is all about. If you get a blank expression, followed with I have not... (read in full...)
My dad plans to leave my mom but doesn't want me to tell her
Q. A week ago, my dad said he needed me to come and help him with going the supermarket and shopping. I thought nothing of it, was only trying to be a good daughter. But it later turned out he wanted me to meet his girlfriend, Rachael (not her rea...
A. 28 February 2021: I think its really selfish of your dad to even involve you in this.
He is the cheater here, and his young mistress knows this all to well. If he leaves your Mum and starts up with Rachael it will be a relationship built on lies, and these type of ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend's threeseom wish common?
Q. Hey, my boyfriend told me that if I am the only girl he can sleep with in his lifetime he is the luckiest man on earth. But like a month ago I asked him if he - like my other male friends - would agree on having a threesome, he said: If you ...
A. 28 February 2021: Time and time again posts come onto DC asking if trying a threesome is a good idea.
The answers that they receive are always that same, and that it is a bad idea.
Some people have written in saying they have already tried it, and that they ar... (read in full...)
Is there anything wrong with never coming out as gay?
Q. I am a 36 years old man who is single. I have known since I was about 13 years old that I was gay. I have never been in a relationship with anyone (male or female) and I never came out of the closet. I always hear of people coming out of th...
A. 28 February 2021: I think as you are in your current situation not dating anyone then its totally fine to not divulge the fact that you are gay.
I think if you got into a serious relationship and you were with someone you potentially saw a future with then pro... (read in full...)
My married friend has hit on me. I want to stay friends but don't want to be involved
Q. I have a close relationship with a work colleague, who I have known for 15 years. Over the last few years we started running together. She would mention the negatives alit about her marriage and would flirt with me. She told me that her husband had ...
A. 25 February 2021: You don't say what your relationship status is, assuming your married i would cut contact with her and move on. There are to many complications here and she was after having her cake and eat it.
We know nothing about her situation, or indeed i... (read in full...)
I think my partner is controlling. Is he?
Q. Morning folks I would like your opinion on my relationship. I live with my partner who is ten years younger than me. we live on boat and I know space is limited, I am quite a religious person all I am allowed is one small crucifix he says he ...
A. 25 February 2021: I would say he sounds quite controlling, and wants things his way, if its not his way then the silent treatment comes in, or throws his toys out of the pram and storms off. Unless things change soon, is this the relationship you want in the years to ... (read in full...)
Partner left with no reason and I have no friends around me
Q. My partner has recently left me, no explanation or answers so I'm left just trying to accept and get on with things. I live in a town where I'm not from and I notice that women all have their circle if friends. On social media they post pictur...
A. 25 February 2021: I know its hard breaking up with someone, its never easy, not for anyone.
All i can say is that things will get easier, time really is the healer of all things.
Maybe try to work on yourself some more, do some things that make your heart sing,... (read in full...)
I feel so lost and I'm not quite sure why
Q. I feel very alone and lonely. I feel like no one cares. I have learnt to love myself and keep myself occupied. However i have been going through tough times with my gf. I’m sure we will be okay, but I feel disconnected with her, we did break up ...
A. 23 February 2021: Yes i think that your first port of call should be to book an appointment with your GP and obtain some professional advice.
Its good that you have learnt to love yourself and keep yourself occupied, this is a step in the right directio... (read in full...)
I'm 44 he's 25. He wants to meet in real life. Thoughts??
Q. I'm 44 and he's 25.....we met on fb this past summer after he sent me a request:) My initial impression of him was that he was a good looking guy but a bit insecure and perhaps a bit full of himself( bc of al the selfies and muscle pics on h...
A. 12 November 2020: You have not even met yet, so you only know him through online chat and some sexting.
I would not read to much in to it, infact i would be inclined to take it all with a pinch of salt.
He is at a different stage in life to where your at, a... (read in full...)
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