LDR b/f says he needs space. Does he mean stop talking about our relationship?
Q. Hi all, I hope you can help, my LD( about 2 hrs drive) bf and I have had a roller coaster relationship since we met- lots to do with my past, my dad being diagnosed with cancer, my insecurites, my constant over analysing of our relation...
A. 7 December 2011: You're very welcome and thank you for the feedback. Best of luck. :)... (read in full...)
My LDR owes me money. He's coming to stay with me. How should we work out who'll pay for what while he's with me?
Q. My boyfriend works in another city and is coming to stay with me for 4 weeks on his holiday. He's coming to my place because he lives with his mom and I can't go there, and also I am not going to have time off until next year. He borrowed mon...
A. 7 December 2011: I'm with the others. This relationship doesn't look right at all.
Am I correct in assuming that you live on your own and support yourself? His mother supports him and he still can't pay for his own transporation?
He should repay you the en... (read in full...)
A great guy, but sometimes I'm overwhelmed
Q. My boyfriend is a really great guy, kind and thoughtful but sometimes I feel as if he's taking over too much and overwhelming me. He will send me jokes and then say I must mail them to my dad/brother/sister when I feel they are inapprop...
A. 7 December 2011: Your boyfriend probably means well, but as they say 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions'.
Trying to fix this in one heart to heart conversation is probably just going exhaust you and confuse him. Instead, tackle smaller issues one at a... (read in full...)
LDR b/f says he needs space. Does he mean stop talking about our relationship?
Q. Hi all, I hope you can help, my LD( about 2 hrs drive) bf and I have had a roller coaster relationship since we met- lots to do with my past, my dad being diagnosed with cancer, my insecurites, my constant over analysing of our relation...
A. 7 December 2011: I thought the same thing of the video as soon as I read it, that you were trying too hard.
I think by space he means stop talking about my and his feelings and our relationship all the time. Do you think Im right? YES, without a doubt.
... (read in full...)
Fiance joking about me at work with female coworker, too much?
Q. Hello, I'm in a situation with my fiance, and he has a past for not doing the right thing. A few times this past year, he's gone to his ex to complain about his family issues (mom/dad/siblings) because I was sympathizing and trying to help him work...
A. 7 December 2011: The co-worker and he were not laughing at you. In fact it sounds to me like she understood your position and was trying to explain it to him. When she said 'girlfriends always get jealous when you say something like that', she meant that anyone in ... (read in full...)
Is this how cheats normally behave?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend almost 5 years. She is 10 years younger than me. We go out,and without fail she chooses out a girl in the crowd and when we get home she has accused me of looking at her chosen girl all night or says we couldnt take ...
A. 6 December 2011: It's not how all unfaithful people behave, but it's certainly not unusual. We tend to assume that others, if given the chance, will behave as we would. She doesn't trust you because she knows she herself cannot be trusted. ... (read in full...)
Should I sell her engagement ring?
Q. Me ard my partner were Engaged to get married next year last week she told me she does not love me and has not loved me for a long time. She doesn't want to make things work as she has feelings for someone else. Question is do I sell her engagment ...
A. 5 December 2011: I concur. Sell it and invest the money or get yourself something nice. Don't save it for a future fiance. ... (read in full...)
Told his wife he's cheating.....was I wrong for telling?
Q. I Recently slept with a married man after talking to him daily for two months and him promising that he would leave his wife within the next 5 months and there is no love between them or sex..just friendship....I believed him and after a dinner date ...
A. 4 December 2011: To a willing person there is no injury and that's exactly what you were. Willing.
You're a grown woman, not a 14 year old girl and he is no Svengali. You knew he was married, perhaps not at the beginning, but very soon afterward. And you knew the... (read in full...)
Is this a physical or psychological problem?
Q. Hi, I am a woman in her early 20's dating an virginal Indian man in his early-mid 30's. Well a week ago we went to have sex for the first time and I was ready (moist) and I could arouse him but as he went to penetrate his penis kept getting ...
A. 2 December 2011: You're very welcome. :)
... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting? My friends still don't trust her. She does still occasionally act weird and that bothers me
Q. There's this girl who i'm interested in. A few years ago she was totally crazy, like insane doing weird stuff and trying to fight other girls about me. I couldnt stand her then and did everything I could to make her go away. then we both switched...
A. 2 December 2011: Good friends are hard to find so I wouldn't dismiss the opinions of yours too quickly. They see what you yourself saw (and still see) in this girl.
What exactly did she do that caused you to think she was crazy? Are we talking about embarras... (read in full...)
What is 'fatal attraction'?
Q. What is a fatal attraction?...
A. 2 December 2011: A strong attraction to something potentially harmful (usually despite the danger not because of it). You've heard the expression 'moth to a flame'?... (read in full...)
Is this a physical or psychological problem?
Q. Hi, I am a woman in her early 20's dating an virginal Indian man in his early-mid 30's. Well a week ago we went to have sex for the first time and I was ready (moist) and I could arouse him but as he went to penetrate his penis kept getting ...
A. 2 December 2011: It sounds psychological to me. The fact that he is very attracted to you and was (still is?) a virgin will put a lot of pressure on him. Your encounters may be too goal oriented for him.
Instead of trying to have SEX, I recommend you relax an... (read in full...)
So if he does not want to see me why not just say "I am busy" without saying he wants to go out?
Q. Hi, I am a bit confused and i am not sure if this guy is blowing me off. We went out a couple of times and last week he kept saying that we have to meet up this week and he would love to see me BUT .. this never happens ! So if he does not w...
A. 1 December 2011: Rejecting someone isn't easy because most of us don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Some have a more direct, yet tactful way of doing it, while others struggle. Saying 'I'm busy' without suggesting an alternate date has been used so often it's ... (read in full...)
My fiancee doesn't want sex with me any more and says I'm lose!
Q. I have been with my fiancée' for 2 years now and we have been having sex maybe around 3 times a week. But now he is saying he's bored of sex and he doesn't like it. he just wants me to give him Blowjobs. I don't know how he can be bored of sex as i ...
A. 30 November 2011: Your fiance doesn't want sex because it requires him to put in some effort. Porn and blow jobs do not. He doesn't want to admit he's become lazy and selfish so he tries to convince you it's your fault. Cancel the wedding and dump him. ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to urinate in the bath and shower?
Q. How many people urinate in their bath or shower? My boyfriend says everyone does and expects me to trust him if we bathe together. What shall I do?...
A. 30 November 2011: Whether urine is sterile or not I wouldn't bathe in it, nor would I urinate in the shower or stick around while someone else did. Not my cup of tea, thanks.
This isn't about trust, so don't let your boyfriend play that card. ... (read in full...)
He's mean and controlling and my children don't like him. Will he revert to the same monster again if we purchase a home together?
Q. I have posted on here so many times as I dont have anyone to talk to. What would you do in the following scenario? I am on the verge of buying a house with my second husband who I ended up having a seperate house from for the last 4 years as we had ...
A. 30 November 2011: Glad to hear it! A very wise choice. You'll have some challenges from time to time as we all do, but everything WILL work out.... (read in full...)
Should I sit here and wait for his call? Or should I just break up with him?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for three years and most of our relationship has been long distance due to the fact that he is in the army. I love him with all my heart and he is my first boyfriend. We had only been dating for six months when he went ...
A. 30 November 2011: I think this relationship has served it's purpose and it may be time to move on. It was great in the beginning when everything was new and you may have been a valuable life line while he was overseas, but now that he's back it seems he has other ... (read in full...)
I only lied to avoid a fight. She's aggressive and doesn't trust me. Should I break if off with her?
Q. I'm an insurance agent by trade and I sat down with one of my girlfriends friends. I sold her a policy. But recently my girlfriend called her up, and asked her if anything is going on between us. I think it's inappropriate, along with her constan...
A. 30 November 2011: You're welcome. I added that other response before I saw your follow up.
Best of luck.... (read in full...)
I only lied to avoid a fight. She's aggressive and doesn't trust me. Should I break if off with her?
Q. I'm an insurance agent by trade and I sat down with one of my girlfriends friends. I sold her a policy. But recently my girlfriend called her up, and asked her if anything is going on between us. I think it's inappropriate, along with her constan...
A. 30 November 2011: Another thing...contrary to what she tells you, she trusts you completely. She trusts you not to tell others what she's been up to. She trusts you not to smack her back or call police. She trusts you to stay with her no matter how unreasonable she ... (read in full...)
I only lied to avoid a fight. She's aggressive and doesn't trust me. Should I break if off with her?
Q. I'm an insurance agent by trade and I sat down with one of my girlfriends friends. I sold her a policy. But recently my girlfriend called her up, and asked her if anything is going on between us. I think it's inappropriate, along with her constan...
A. 30 November 2011: Assault, abuse, call it whatever you like, it's still a crime. Just because you don't have any bruises or broken bones does not mean this should not be taken seriously. It certainly would be if you were the one smacking her. Besides, who is to say ... (read in full...)
I only lied to avoid a fight. She's aggressive and doesn't trust me. Should I break if off with her?
Q. I'm an insurance agent by trade and I sat down with one of my girlfriends friends. I sold her a policy. But recently my girlfriend called her up, and asked her if anything is going on between us. I think it's inappropriate, along with her constan...
A. 30 November 2011: Yes, end it. End it now.
Her behaviour is abusive and domineering. With this type of person you're damned no matter what you do. She's using your lie (to avoid the fight) as an excuse to try to control you and using abuse as a means to do it.
... (read in full...)
After 1000 messages should I meet this online man?
Q. Okay, I met someone from Turkey over the internet I did not ask to be his friend he asked me. to make a long story short and numerous phone calls, and 1000 messages later he says that he is in love with me, and I feel the same for him my question ...
A. 30 November 2011: I would be very suspicious of this person. Most people seeking a VISA to a western country are not stupid enough to state their intent openly. They want you to believe they're in love otherwise it wouldn't work, would it?
After using your good sta... (read in full...)
Wife says our courting period was "really short." What did she mean by that?
Q. I have been married for 9 years. Recently, my wife and I were having a deep conversation about the early part of our relationship and she said that our courting period was "really short" implying "too short." We dated for about 8 months before I...
A. 29 November 2011: '..we missed a lot of the playful romance and went straight to life as a couple...' She means you both fell into the domestic routine a bit too soon for her liking.
I agree with everything tennistar has said except the recommendation to brush of... (read in full...)
So if he does not want to see me why not just say "I am busy" without saying he wants to go out?
Q. Hi, I am a bit confused and i am not sure if this guy is blowing me off. We went out a couple of times and last week he kept saying that we have to meet up this week and he would love to see me BUT .. this never happens ! So if he does not w...
A. 29 November 2011: How long have you been seeing this guy? He was unavailable one week and already you're over-analysing his actions.
Leave the ball in his court and occupy yourself with other things. If he sets up a date and follows through, you know he's still in... (read in full...)
How do I find out if it is my ex who is calling?
Q. I'm getting the impression that a guy I used to date who's now in a relationship has been calling me with blocked numbers. I got one the other day at 230 am. I want to ask him bc in the past I had a feeling then that similar calls would come from ...
A. 29 November 2011: And what if it is him? He's in a relationship with someone else so the very most you'd ever be is a piece on the side.
Knowing who it is isn't going to add a day to your life and surely there are more noble pursuits with which to occupy yourself... (read in full...)
My boyfriend spoils me to the point where its become uncomfortable!!
Q. So ive only been dating my boyfriend for a few weeks now, but i feel like he spoils me entirely TOO much, as selfish as that sounds, in a way it kind of makes me feel helpless like im incapable of doing anything myself. I told him about it, and he ...
A. 28 November 2011: He already knows he doesn't HAVE to. If he did, it would be a chore and he'd be less enthusiastic about it. And he doesn't expect you to shower him with gifts. He knew that from the start.
We hear from women all the time, who feel unapprec... (read in full...)
My boyfriend spoils me to the point where its become uncomfortable!!
Q. So ive only been dating my boyfriend for a few weeks now, but i feel like he spoils me entirely TOO much, as selfish as that sounds, in a way it kind of makes me feel helpless like im incapable of doing anything myself. I told him about it, and he ...
A. 28 November 2011: I didn't see your follow up when I answered your question, but I don't change anything I've said. In fact you've confirmed some of what I said. ... (read in full...)
Is ejaculating in a woman's mouth more degrading than on her face?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 6 years now, and really want to ejaculate in her mouth, she can't stand the taste. She wants me to ejaculate on her face, but I feel that's degrading....what do you guys suggest....?...
A. 28 November 2011: Both are VERY unpleasant for most women. Your girlfriend has made it very clear she does not want to swallow your ejaculate. It's a pretty safe bet she dosn't want it on her face either, but has suggested it to accomodate you.
Show her how much... (read in full...)
My boyfriend spoils me to the point where its become uncomfortable!!
Q. So ive only been dating my boyfriend for a few weeks now, but i feel like he spoils me entirely TOO much, as selfish as that sounds, in a way it kind of makes me feel helpless like im incapable of doing anything myself. I told him about it, and he ...
A. 28 November 2011: He isn't going to keep this up forever. This is the courting phase and he's pampering you in anticipation of you pampering and accomodating him when the relationship is solid and he feels secure.
General rule of thumb is that the more he does for... (read in full...)
I thought we were dating but he's still remaining active on his online dating account!
Q. Three weeks ago, I started dating a guy through on-line dating . I think we are a really good match for each other. He is exactly what I am looking for in a guy and seems really keen on me. He treats me really well and we have the same values, ...
A. 27 November 2011: It sounds like he's fond of you as well, and as your friend has suggested, he may be signing in for other reasons.
Having said that, three weeks is far too soon to expect exclusivity so I would refrain from mentioning it for a while.... (read in full...)
Can't get alone with my girlfriend, how can I?
Q. Hello. I have an issue. My girlfriend and I have been dating for a while and we very mych love each other. We are sexually active and have been for a month or two. Now I'm sure you understand that two people in love like to be alone every now and ...
A. 26 November 2011: You should take a screen shot of this thread, save it in a time capsule and pull it out again when you're 40 years old and have a teenage daughter of your own.
What you're trying to do is extremely disrespectful to both families. The fact that nei... (read in full...)
My b/f wants me to finger myself in front of him and I don't feel too good about it
Q. My boyfriend wants me to finger myself but i dunno what to do as i feel embarrassed even when he talks about it, im 18 years old and my boyfriend is 17 years old, we have slept together and i am now pregnant but still i dont know what to do, when we ...
A. 26 November 2011: Keep your refusal, short and sweet. 'No thanks.' and move on to another topic. Don't offer any explanations and don't feel obliged to provide one if asked. If you don't like something, you don't like it. There is nothing to justify.
Most men, of ... (read in full...)
He moves on to new woman so easily! Am I being unfair to feel he led me on only to drop me again?
Q. To all those people out in the world, that gift their time to answer our problems.... I thank you! I would be so grateful for opinions on my situation. My partner of 4 years and I split up six months ago, because I found he had been lying and I co...
A. 26 November 2011: You were wise to decline his requests for reconciliation. The man is clearly chaotic and unstable. The reason he jumps from woman to woman is because he detests being alone.
Now that he has someone who has caught his fancy, he wants to milk tha... (read in full...)
My girlfriend fantasizes about women and lesbian sex. Please help.
Q. My girlfriend is bisexual. And I'm a male. We have the best sex and she always convinces me we have the most wonderful sex, and it really is. But one time she mentioned she missed the lesbian sex and that she fantasised about women while masturba...
A. 26 November 2011: Assuming she volunteered this information and wasn't simply responding to your question, you could say to her that if she is hinting about playing the field with women, that being bisexual doesn't mean she gets to have one of each at the same time. ... (read in full...)
Should I wait like a lady for my boyfriend to pick me up like my mum says?
Q. My bf of 2 years has night shifts and at the end of the week, I usually drive over to his house and wake him up because he is capable of sleeping till night time (cause of his night shifts)... Well I never saw anything wrong with that cause if we go ...
A. 26 November 2011: It seems I am the one dissenting vote here, but I have to agree with your mum. If your boyfriend is that tired by the end of the week, then is it not better to let him sleep? If he wanted to see you that badly could he not just set his alarm cl... (read in full...)
How can I leave my husband without hurting my kids?
Q. I have been married 27 years to my high school sweetheart and we've had our good and bad times in our relationship. I've tried to leave multiple times through the years for different reasons but have no family and always felt alone and that I couldn...
A. 25 November 2011: Hopefully it's not too late to chime in here.
Based on your age and the length of time you've been married it's probably a safe bet that you have spent most, if not all, of your adult life putting the wants and needs of your family ahead of your ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to date a friend's daughter?
Q. I was having a conversation the other day about morals, and the person asked me if I thought it was ok to date a friend's daughter. We didn't go into depth in terms of which friend, how long you'd known them, etc. personally, I couldn't see a p...
A. 25 November 2011: In my opinion it would be crossing the line, or the very least questionable. Obviously anyone you date is going to be SOMEONE'S daughter, but when she's a friend's, regardless of how close that friend is, I would recommend not. ... (read in full...)
I didn't like the message my b/f received on his phone
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 9 months now and things are getting serious. He has asked me to move in with him at Christmas and we see each other every day. Everything is great but the problem is he works nights, he is a taxi driver, and in ...
A. 23 November 2011: Realist, the 'about' means 'nearby'. It's like saying 'I'm here'.... (read in full...)
How can I pursue her in a way that allows me to save face if I fail?
Q. So my recent troubles is not really a trouble, I'm just looking for advice. i have started to think about what-ifs about this girl I'm starting to get to know. She's funny, athletic, outgoing, and very upfront. I recently was the only friend of ...
A. 22 November 2011: I strongly recommend you not pursue this woman, whether she is interested in you or not. I can't imagine that she's that attractive, that witty or that fun to be around that she'd be worth the risk of having your private anguish (if you fail) ... (read in full...)
He's mean and controlling and my children don't like him. Will he revert to the same monster again if we purchase a home together?
Q. I have posted on here so many times as I dont have anyone to talk to. What would you do in the following scenario? I am on the verge of buying a house with my second husband who I ended up having a seperate house from for the last 4 years as we had ...
A. 21 November 2011: You've already posted this question and received some very good advice. No matter how many times you ask this question, no one here is going to recommend you throw caution to the wind and buy the house with him. No one.
We understand you're s... (read in full...)
She didnt tell me she loves me before she went to sleep and now I'm really hurt, am I overreacting?
Q. Hi. My girlfriend and I were texting each other late at night like we usually do, and joking around and everything. She told me she was tired and night. She always tell me 'night babe I love you'. I asked her if she was mad at me and she said no, ...
A. 21 November 2011: Over reacting by quite a bit. ... (read in full...)
He took part in a golf tournament with another woman because I'm not good enough! Now we cant stop rowing about this, what should I do?
Q. My husband and I both play golf. He has been a member for years and plays regularly, but I am a beginner and only get chance to play occasionally. At the weekend the club were holding an Open Doubles Competition which he wanted to play in. All ...
A. 21 November 2011: This is really very petty and silly.
You had the option to participate and would have been welcome but you made it clear you didn't want to. Your husband understandably took this to mean 'No, thanks'.
Presumably these competitions are... (read in full...)
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