Early on in dating, is 26 hours without contact a cause to worry?
Q. I hvae just started dating a new man. We have been on two (what I think) have been amazingly wonderful dates, and there is great chemistry and a connection already. It is obvious he is attracted to me - he isn't making any attempt to hide the f...
A. 10 October 2011: Without knowing you it is near impossible to determine what exactly the problem is. Your friends might be honest about your qualities but holding back for fear of hurting your feelings, especially if you're already vulnerable and sensitive about ... (read in full...)
Early on in dating, is 26 hours without contact a cause to worry?
Q. I hvae just started dating a new man. We have been on two (what I think) have been amazingly wonderful dates, and there is great chemistry and a connection already. It is obvious he is attracted to me - he isn't making any attempt to hide the f...
A. 9 October 2011: Far too soon to worry. In fact, if after only two dates, you're already anxious enough to seek reassurance about him losing interest then I'd say you're already too heavily invested.
... (read in full...)
She's the girl of my dreams but she wants space.
Q. Hello, I have been in a fairly good relationship for almost 5 years now, I love my girlfriend so much but she doesn't seem to appreciate it, lately things have started to go downhill, its been over 5 weeks since we have been intimate, we have had no ...
A. 9 October 2011: ' I tell her our sex is the thing that fully connects us as a couple'...Therein lies your problem. Sex is NOT what connects you as a couple any more than a ring makes you married. Mutual respect, trust and affection are what connect a couple. ... (read in full...)
My ex is doing all the things I love with his new woman!
Q. I'd like to know why a man will do one things with one girlfriend that he wouldn't do with another. I broke up with my ex-bf nearly 2 years ago and he found a new partner very quickly. I was getting over this fairly well, until I found out all th...
A. 9 October 2011: He's doing all these fun things with his new girlfriend, not because he cares more about her than he did for you, but because he has learned his lesson. He remembers what happened the last time he played possum.
You've made quite an impressi... (read in full...)
Why do girls get so mad? Why don't girls forgive mistakes?
Q. why do girls hate you if you do one thing that makes them mad? i liked this girl a lot then i said something on facebook she didnt like and now we avoid each other and dont talk....
A. 8 October 2011: Girls generally don't hate you for doing or saying one thing that annoys them, unless that one thing was a biggie. Knowing what it was you said on facebook would help us to help you.... (read in full...)
Helppppp! How can I get him to trust me again?
Q. i did wrong, i admit. currently in a relationship, my bf doesnt want his family to know ANYTHING about me and him. so obviously i cant mention it to anyone related to him. recently, his eldest brother (who lives in ghana) who has 3 younger brot...
A. 6 October 2011: Glad to hear it. You're very welcome. :)... (read in full...)
Married to rich girl, but her parents don't wana see me attending parties at their place, my wife doesn't know this, what should I do know?
Q. I am married to a girl for last 10 months with whom I was in a relationship for one year before we got married December last year. She is from extremely rich family and my monthly salary is equaled of her daily pocket money . Somehow she ...
A. 4 October 2011: Her parents may have a lot of money but they definitely have no class.
I think honesty is the best policy here. All this sneaking about, lying and making excuses is taxing on the soul. Just come right out and tell her. Fear of losing her might gi... (read in full...)
Boyfriend finished oral sex rather than stopping so we could have sex!
Q. last night i gave my boyfriend a blowjob thinking that it was just a starting way for us to have an intimate moment that very same time. but then i was surprised that instead of him getting into the mood, he just blew it all by himself and nothing ...
A. 3 October 2011: If this happens only once in a blue moon I wouldn't make much of it. If it's a fairly frequent occurance then he's a very poor lover.
Next time inssist on getting what you want FIRST. If he wants a blowjob badly enough, he'll have to make it worth... (read in full...)
I begged my way back into my ex-girlfriend's life, won't she dump me again?
Q. I was in a relationship with a girl happened to be 3 years younger than me and the relationship lasted for like two years. But last year, around same time, she dumped me saying I was not in a position to keep any relationship going due to my odd ...
A. 3 October 2011: Begging is not a sign of humility. It's actually quite aggressive and people resort to it when they are not willing to accept 'no' for an answer. You knew she was unhappy with you, but you didn't care. You wanted her to stay so YOU would be happy. ... (read in full...)
She's the girl of my dreams but she wants space.
Q. Hello, I have been in a fairly good relationship for almost 5 years now, I love my girlfriend so much but she doesn't seem to appreciate it, lately things have started to go downhill, its been over 5 weeks since we have been intimate, we have had no ...
A. 3 October 2011: I'm afraid I have to agree with the previous response. Your girlfriend has outgrown this relationship. She hasn't officially ended it yet because she doesn't want to act in haste and regret it later (she wants space so she can think with a clear ... (read in full...)
All the things my ex is saying is making my skin crawl!
Q. Dear Cupid Had a fight with my bf of 2 years, since he blocked me from his facebook, saying like I am disturbing him often in chat. Got angry and we had a fight and after that he never called me, I tried to reach him after 3 days, he now says he m...
A. 3 October 2011: This is a painful time for you, but instead of simply patting you on the back and saying 'there, there' I encourage you to try and look at the events that led up to this a little differently.
It sounds like you did a lot for your ex boyfrien... (read in full...)
I know it was wrong, but should we still be working through this??
Q. I know it was wrong...but should I still be dealing with this? Okay, this is a fairly lengthy situation, so please hear me out, I would love some opinions/advice. I dated a guy about a year and a half ago for a few months. He broke up with me with ...
A. 3 October 2011: It's probably been playing on his mind, but to be honest I think much of that is because of the way you have handled this. He can't help but think about it when you keep reminding him of it (by word or deed). And he can't help wondering if there was ... (read in full...)
SHE is intruding in our relationship. Advice needed!
Q. I love my boyfriend so much that i cant let him go, of recent a lady asked him out and he has began to have feelings for the lady because the lady now pesters him on seeing and hanging out with him. My boyfriend told me all these with the messages ...
A. 3 October 2011: Never ever compete with another woman for a man. There are far too many out there to reduce yourself.
I agree with the anon female who replied before me. Improve your market value. Be graceful, positive and fun to be with. Expand your social c... (read in full...)
Helppppp! How can I get him to trust me again?
Q. i did wrong, i admit. currently in a relationship, my bf doesnt want his family to know ANYTHING about me and him. so obviously i cant mention it to anyone related to him. recently, his eldest brother (who lives in ghana) who has 3 younger brot...
A. 3 October 2011: On the contrary, you did nothing wrong.
You didn't cheat on your boyfriend. You didn't steal from him. You didn't tell lies about him. In fact you told the truth.
The person who did wrong here is your boyfriend. He's been stringing you al... (read in full...)
Mini-survey for girls!
Q. 1 – How on earth am I supposed to introduce myself to a girl without it being a completely humiliating and regrettable experience, especially in a bar? What’s an opening that is likely to hold your attention – interesting without being corny? 2 – ...
A. 1 October 2011: 1. A simple friendly introduction will suffice. Catchy opening lines won't hold my interest for long. The sum total of who a person is cannot be summed up in one opening line. The worst place to look for a woman is in a bar/nightclub. You're likely ... (read in full...)
Do I give my LDR ex another chance? I've seen a softer side to him now
Q. Hi, ok sorry if this is long winded. I had a long distance relationship between the uk and us for 2 years. I split up with him a year n half ago because I found out he had cheated on me. I was heartbroken n although he bombarded me with emails, ...
A. 1 October 2011: He had plenty of time before cheating and spiraling out of control to know what he wanted. I don't think you should even speak to him again, let alone visit him. You already know how you feel. Seeing him isn't going to tell you anything you don... (read in full...)
Will his comment be a self-fulfilling prophecy for us?
Q. Navigating a rocky week of good but scary communication. On 3 occasions now (most recently the other night) my boyfriend has said this (or something similar): "In case something ever happens [we break up], promise me you'll still be my friend and ...
A. 1 October 2011: The best thing you can do to help your boyfriend overcome his abandonment issues is to treat him as though he doesn't have any. Pandering to them only reinforces them and it teaches him to rely on others instead of himself for security. It also ... (read in full...)
Why would a man do this when there are kids involved?
Q. My babies daddy lied to me about being in a relationship with someone else. Then we slept together. When I found out about her, he still denied he was in a relationship until she told me directly. Now our whole friendship is shattered, he can't even ...
A. 1 October 2011: Pretending to be single is an odd way of triggering your jealousy, don't you think? He concealed his relationship because he didn't want you to know about it, ergo, he was not trying to make you jealous. He was trying to ensure you'd be receptive to ... (read in full...)
He deleted some girls off Facebook when I said I don't like them, but then a few months later they are back! What can I do?
Q. MY Bf live in US and i live in greece so we just talk and chat everyday,before i told him that i hate those bit*** on his facebook friendlist and he removed them,later because of studying i deactived my facebook profile and then after 2 or 3 month ...
A. 30 September 2011: I don't think this online relationship is working for either of you.
Your 'boyfriend' obviously requires a lot of female attention and is prepared to sneak about to get it. And you have been rather demanding and controlling. Referring to other wo... (read in full...)
Realised I'd developed feelings for my FWB when she met someone else
Q. okay i have a confusing situation.. well for me dont know about you guys. i had a fwb about 2 months raftly.. it was going well.. untill she met this another guy and she was falling for him so we stopped. but i didnt wanted to stop so i told her ho...
A. 29 September 2011: Asking her for 'just casual sex' would not only be weird, but totally inappropriate, and it would make you look like a desperate creep. Do not ask.
She's made her decision and all you can do is respect it. Maybe one day she will change her mind... (read in full...)
Will more women be interested if I lose some weight?
Q. I am a guy who was always on the smaller, scrawnier side. I could eat Ding Dongs and drink soda all day and I weighed 165 at 5'10" at age 17. Long story short, I am now 6 feet tall and 210. I think an ideal weight for me is about 190. I th...
A. 29 September 2011: In the past women SEEMED less interested in physical appearance because they were reliant on men for food and shelter. This led 'experts' to conclude that women didn't care what a man looked like. Now that they have access to the same resources and ... (read in full...)
My family wont accept my boyfriend!
Q. I am 26 yrs old, my partner's 28, yet my parents will not and cannot accept him. He's Black Canadian, I'm Canadian by birth but my family is of Lithuanian descent, so that makes us Lithuanian-Canadians. However, they won't accept him AT ALL....
A. 29 September 2011: How do your parents treat him face to face? Do they openly expres their disapproval in front of him or privately with you? Do they refuse to be his company?
Fair or not young black men have a very poor reputation. This is not helped by the hip ... (read in full...)
Should I stay in this baby mama drama relationship?
Q. I`ve been in a relationship with someone for 7 months he told me about the other lady that he use to have a relationship with she has 1yr old twins that she said are his they are waiting on dna test result but he is attached to the kids and she ...
A. 29 September 2011: No, I don't think you should stay in this relationship. Whether he has feelings for the woman or not, he clearly has unfinished business with her (or she with him). And since she seems to go out of her way to interfere with you both, you're unlikely ... (read in full...)
Getting uncomfortable with my boyfriends increasing voyeuristic interests...am I make too much of this?
Q. I am starting to become uncomfortable with my boyfriend’s increasing voyeuristic interests. After many years of a sexless marriage, I am divorced and in an exclusive relationship with the greatest guy in the world. We are incredibly in love with ...
A. 27 September 2011: I second that (eddie85).... (read in full...)
He seemed like such a gentleman, and I don't know what I did to make him stop contact!
Q. I'm very confused here, this guy I met last monday we got along so well and both seemed really interested in each other. It was nice to just talk to a guy and properly get to know them, without them slyly trying to creep on! Well, we ended...
A. 27 September 2011: Have you tried contacting him and gotten no response or were you waiting for him to contact you first? When you declined the second meeting did you suggest another day or was it just left at that? If it's the former, he might have assumed, by your... (read in full...)
What does this mean in male language?
Q. I am/was seeeing this guy for about 3 weeks and then he sends me a text last friday saying "youre really full on, i think we should cool it for a bit. im not ready for this sort of thing. sorry x" What does this mean in male language? Does it mean ...
A. 27 September 2011: If it were me, I would leave it enitely up to him to make first contact. I strongly recommend women not be the pursuers. ... (read in full...)
He's turned it around to try to make me the guilty one!
Q. Here's the thing. I had my boyfriend of nine months. Well about 2 months ago I started noticing little things/clues that were telling me that he was talking to another girl, like a text every so often and he would say it was this app that he has ...
A. 27 September 2011: Resist the temptation. Have absolutely no contact. Maintain an air of mystery. Before long he'll start wondering how you are and what you're doing. Don't be surprised when he comes sniffing around again. Don't take him back of course, just be ... (read in full...)
Is it bad if I don't want to take my boyfriend to Homecoming?
Q. My friends say I'm being insensitive if I say I don't want my boyfriend to come to my homecoming dance with me but I just really want to go alone and enjoy it with my girls. Is this really that bad?...
A. 26 September 2011: No, it isn't bad at all, but it does go against the grain. Many people are probably of like mind, but feel duty bound to stick to tradition. It's great that you don't. Unfortunately, Odds is right. While your boyfriend might not want to go himse... (read in full...)
What does this mean in male language?
Q. I am/was seeeing this guy for about 3 weeks and then he sends me a text last friday saying "youre really full on, i think we should cool it for a bit. im not ready for this sort of thing. sorry x" What does this mean in male language? Does it mean ...
A. 26 September 2011: This is not 'male language'. It's universal. He thinks you're far too eager for a serious relationship and he isn't so he's distancing himself.
It would be prudent to assume it's permanently over and not attempt to contact him again. He may chan... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong for not wanting this help pushed on me?
Q. Hi, i'm at a low point at the moment in my life and this has only come about withing the last few days. This may be long!! I am married and my hubby is currently away on tour, our welfare team (set up to deal with any issues) has organised day tr...
A. 26 September 2011: It sounds like 'Claire' was indeed pushy and definitely crossed the line when she tried to physically restrain you, but she does have a point when she asked where YOU fit in in all your goals and priorities. As important as our children are, th... (read in full...)
He asked to marry me but I told him it was lust not love. Help!
Q. hi all i have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for six years but i dont think i love him. i just love our sex life. he feel more like a good friend then a boyfriend. i think all we have is lust and friendship so whats the Difference between ...
A. 26 September 2011: Lust is for and about you. Love is for and about someone else (in this case your boyfriend).
Don't second guess yourself. If he was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, you'd be certain of it. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is still in love with her ex. Should I break up with her?
Q. I will try to make this as short as i can... My gf still feels something for the ex...more specifically love...now...it would be normal in a long relationship...but she was with him 4 months only...and wasted a year trying to win him back...and t...
A. 26 September 2011: I'm with the others. Time to let her go.
Not only is she not in love with you but she was rather tactless in the way she made you aware of that.
It might be a good idea, in future, to let female friends help a woman through a difficult break ... (read in full...)
He's turned it around to try to make me the guilty one!
Q. Here's the thing. I had my boyfriend of nine months. Well about 2 months ago I started noticing little things/clues that were telling me that he was talking to another girl, like a text every so often and he would say it was this app that he has ...
A. 26 September 2011: You've heard the expression 'the best defense is a good offense'. This is it in action. He's using guilt to draw your attention away from what he's been doing. And it's working isn't it? While you're busy feeling guilty you aren't paying much ... (read in full...)
Ever since the first date, it's been nothing but a headache trying to set up the next!
Q. I met a man a couple of weeks ago and had a great first date together. He's a true gentleman and I was excited to have met him. But now ever since the first date,it has been nothing but a headache trying to set up a second date. HE was the one who ...
A. 26 September 2011: Not sure what his reason is, but I concur with the previous response. If he wanted a second date badly enough, it would have happened long before now.
Time to give up on him. ... (read in full...)
Is my husband just joking when he says he wants threesomes?
Q. so i(23) been married to my husband(31) for 7 months now, when we went to a club and partied with friends, my husband (drunk) jokingly said "did you find someone to have a threesome with yet?" im like "haha no" ( im drunk ).. as he said that, i ...
A. 26 September 2011: I don't think your husband was joking about the threesome. He was using alcohol and humour to test the waters. This is a common and predictable fantasy and is not a reflection of you or your sexual skill. The manner in which he broached the subject ... (read in full...)
I get turned on hearing about my girlfriend's exes...how do I get her to talk about it for me?
Q. I really want my girlfriend to tell me about her past sexual experiences during sex. After hearing a little bit about her previous relationships, I want to hear more. It's not that I want her to sleep with another man, just that I want her to use ...
A. 25 September 2011: The last sentence in chickpea's response sums up why I find your question troublesome. This is NOT all about YOU and what gives YOU pleasure.
There isn't much difference between one who is jealous of another's past and one who is turned on by it... (read in full...)
How do I bring up the "are we in a relationship" question?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for nearlly 2 months but it has gotten to the point where i think we are in a relationship however we havent actually defined the realtionship so not quite sure what we are at the moment how do I go about bringing up that ...
A. 23 September 2011: I agree with YouWish's suggestion. However, if and when you do have to broach the topic, I would NOT ASK him, but TELL him that you assume you're a couple and see what he says. This does not make you look desperate, clingy or pushy. On the co... (read in full...)
My married ex's birthday is coming up, how do I wish her a Happy Birthday?
Q. Dear Cupid, I had an affair with a married woman. It had been almost a year since we broke up. I didn't answer her call and reply her mail. I'm still single and I couldn't find a girlfriend may be cuz of my busy work. To be honest, sometime I...
A. 23 September 2011: None of the above. You say you don't want her back, but sending her a birthday message a year after you've broken up says otherwise.
Leave her alone and move on. ... (read in full...)
I honey-trapped my own boyfriend.....he doesn't know it was me and hes broken my heart!!
Q. I am in bits right now.....really need some help. Ive been seing my long distant lover for 9 months. Hes in the army but we saw each other when we could. Latley he had become really distant from me though......his calls and texts became very rare ...
A. 23 September 2011: What you did was hardly the worst thing possible. Whatever you may think of it, it gave you the confirmation you needed.
Normally I prefer being up front, but some people just don't deserve the courtesy of being officially dumped. Your boyfrien... (read in full...)
How do I deal with this irritating man child whom I had been dating?
Q. I'm really mad. I was seeing this 40 year old man child for 5 months. He tells me he really likes me, sees us together but needed time to get himself together after a break up. He wasn't married or engaged to this woman. This guy would only call ...
A. 23 September 2011: Say nothing and just walk away. After 3 weeks of no contact I would have considered it over anyway.
... (read in full...)
I cheated on him, now he wants me to pay
Q. Hey! So, cheated on my bf and I know it was bad and all. So, please, please, please, no judgment. Trying to win him back. He says he loves me, but his trust is gone. Then he came over to my place tonite and tried real hard to have sex.I refused cos ...
A. 23 September 2011: I suspect he has fantasized about debasing and degrading someone for some time. Now he thinks your recent indiscretion gives him the perfect opportunity to bring it to fruition without looking like a tyrant.
You're better off without him. He will ... (read in full...)
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