Would I be considered a ladies man?
Q. Do I sound like a ladies man to you at all? I'm 18, a senior in high school. I know perfectly how to treat a woman, if she was my girlfriend, would treat her like a queen, or like the best the women in the world. I never had a girlfriend before, but ...
A. 6 February 2012: Based on this alone, no you would not be considered a ladies man. In fact given your lack of experience, far from it.
As noble as your intentions are, they are, at this point just intentions. No doubt all men start out the same way when imaginin... (read in full...)
My Gf gets depressed and implies I'm holding her back. What can I do?
Q. Okay, so here goes. I've been with my girlfriend for over two-years now. We had a bit of a rocky start, and we've taken a 3-month break from each other before. But that was a long time ago. For the last year or more, things have been great. We g...
A. 5 February 2012: It seems clear that at the very least your girlfriend wants time and space for herself. Perhaps spending every free day together is too much for her. I know it would be way too much for me.
I think she wants the security of having you in her life... (read in full...)
How do I respond to a secret admirer text?
Q. Hi, I just received this text: Hey :) How's it going? - your secret admirer xxx and am rather stumped on how to reply (or if I should at all). Does anyone have any ideas on how to respond to this situation? ...
A. 5 February 2012: I wouldn't answer at all nor would I make any attempt to find out who they were. In a recent response to someone else I said that using a third party, or hiding your identity, is very unsettling to the person you're hoping to charm. They don't know ... (read in full...)
Why are men who don't like a certain kind of woman accused of being gay?
Q. I've noticed something over the years and even more so recently that I find to be rather unsettling. It's true that a lot of men like to go to strip clubs, look at porn with famous porn stars in it, and ogle women in public who resemble someone you ...
A. 5 February 2012: Like the anonymous reader below, I have never heard of any man being accused of being gay simply because he wasn't attracted to porn star looking women.
Conversely I've heard of many men being turned off women who appeared to be 'too availabl... (read in full...)
I feel like I owe it to my husband to have a threesome.
Q. My husband has been wanting a threesome with another women, i was for it at first but after his pushing and searching I started to have my insecruities. I feel tho, it needs to happen. I was unfaithful to him. I kissed a guy. (it might not see...
A. 5 February 2012: You are very, very welcome. I am relieved that you've decided to decline his request.
Thank you for the follow up. It's nice to know when we've made a difference instead of being left to worry.
In the end everything will all work out. ... (read in full...)
Is he really considering a relationship with me or just playing games?
Q. My ex and I have done one of those off and on long term relationships. Due to a family crisis, I was out of town for part of the last two years and his last words to me were harsh and I could not contact him. Last year, he started contacti...
A. 5 February 2012: This man has given you ample proof that he is NOT reforming his relationship habits. He is trying to secure an arrangement with one woman while, as you say, he leads another to believe she is dear to him. The type of person he is drawn to is... (read in full...)
RETROACTIVE JEALOUSY: I am on the verge of divorce due to this irrational OCD
Q. Once again, my retroactive jealousy/OCD has overtaken me and I am on the brink of separation from my wife of 14 years(i can't blame her she has had enough abuse! She is fed up and repulsed by me talking about the past- Over n over n over etc..which ...
A. 5 February 2012: Having been on both sides of the retroactive jealousy coin I appreciate the difficult position you AND your wife are in. I’ve responded to many, many posts from men and women about this but since women’s contributions to this topic seldom car... (read in full...)
He says she's his soul mate. Do I go through with the divorce or wait?
Q. My husband left my and the kids for his mistress. he met her online. She is 1400 miles away. He's been 1 1/2months. He tells me he loves her and she makes him happy but he still loves me. That he's just not in love with me. Not to mention ...
A. 5 February 2012: Your husband is hedging his bets.
He doesn't want to burn a bridge with you until he has secured his own income and a solid arrangement with the other woman.
Don't wait for him. Doing so provides him with a security he is not entitled to and ... (read in full...)
How do I respond to his text? he's a FRIEND who cut contact and avoided me earlier.
Q. Hi, This isn't a romantic relationship question but is a friendship one. Recently a friend has got back into touch with me after he has avoided contact with me (and others) since the summer. Hes quite shy but we got on really well in the holiday'...
A. 5 February 2012: I agree with Abella. There may have been reasons unrelated to any of you for his sudden departure.... (read in full...)
Someone asked him out for me and he said "no"
Q. I really like this boy but someone asked him out for me already and he said no coz we're too close of friends bit of advise on how to change his mind or a way to go out with him please? xx ...
A. 4 February 2012: In other words you want our help to coerce him into going out with you. No can do. He's declined the invitation once already. An invitation, I might add, that should have come directly from you. Having a third party do it can put the person you'r... (read in full...)
I found my boyfriend's logged in on multiple sex sites but he swears it wasnt him, just a hacker using his details. Is that even possible?
Q. ok so here it goes, last year i found something on my bf laptop by accident he was sitting next to me and i asked wat it was,i logged into it coz his face was strange and it brought me to a profile with all his details on a fuck buddie site, logged ...
A. 3 February 2012: No hacker involved here. Even if there were why haven't they plundered his bank account instead of trying to arrange hot dates for him?
He's actively looking for women with whom to cheat on you.
Don't bother talking to him about this. Ther... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to meet my parents?
Q. I've been going out with my boyfriend for about a month now and he's my first proper boyfriend. I told my parents about him and they want to meet him, but i've never done this before and i'm scared its going to be awkward, i dont know how to do it ...
A. 3 February 2012: Meeting him doesn't mean he has to stay for a formal dinner. They just want the chance to size him up and they can do that if you have him pick you up at home before going out.
When he arrives, simply introduce everyone then give them a few minu... (read in full...)
I feel like I owe it to my husband to have a threesome.
Q. My husband has been wanting a threesome with another women, i was for it at first but after his pushing and searching I started to have my insecruities. I feel tho, it needs to happen. I was unfaithful to him. I kissed a guy. (it might not see...
A. 3 February 2012: You've gotten some very good responses here. I hope you take to heart what has been said.
You must understand what forgiveness is. It means that the one to whom the debt is owed will not seek its repayment.
If you borrow $100 from me and I fo... (read in full...)
My mind is set to leave him, but I have a suspicion that I'm pregnant
Q. Hello everyone... I'm in a stressful situation and I don't think I'm thinking clearly at all. I need some insight please...You see, I have been with a 35yr old man for two years, (I am 20) and he was the first and all that...I regret that so much ...
A. 3 February 2012: You seem to have come to some clear thoughts on your own. The man may care about you but he isn't in love with you and doesn't see any long term potential. He might even be a little sensitive about introducing you to friends and family given your ... (read in full...)
I think about this guy 24/7 and although he's literally called me every name in the book, I still love him
Q. I've been in this ldr for almost 2 years. We met on a chatline and instantly connected! Every time me tried to meet up,something would always happen on both of our ends, so although we had never seen each other we did skype and video chat and send ...
A. 3 February 2012: I'm sorry you're going through this and I wish there was an easier way to say what I'm going to say, but there isn't. I do not believe his tale about his mum being ill. I strongly suspect that at some point during the visit (if not before it) h... (read in full...)
My ex husband's fiancée posted a picture of our LEGAL divorce decree ON FACEBOOK
Q. Gang, I am MORTIFIED. I am not thrilled or happy about my divorce... it's a failure on my part and it is what it is. I don't need or WANT to shout from the rooftops I'm divorced (yet again). I just got a text from a friend of mine congratulat...
A. 2 February 2012: Hi SVC.
When you say your ex would go nuts, do you mean he would be upset by what his fiance did or angry with you for confronting him about it? I'm guessing the former and that, in itself, reveals a great deal about the dynamics of their relation... (read in full...)
I get mad at my boyfriend for always looking at pretty girls. And adding them on Facebook.
Q. I know that men are attracted to women who look good. I always get mad at my boyfriend when he looks at pretty girls. And he reacted negatively to my action too. After some time, I would feel silly because all men are like that. But now, I think ...
A. 2 February 2012: Everyone looks but proper manners dictate that we do it without being noticed. If your boyfriend is vulgar enough to be obvious about it, and if he's adding them to Facebook then it's time for him to go.
Don't lower yourself just because someone ... (read in full...)
I have no trouble dating men off dating sites, but why can't I get them to stick around?
Q. I seem to be able to get men, date men off the dating sites, but never seem to be able to keep them.What am I doing wrong?I am not sleeping with them early on, but I am upset when I see them on the dating sites after we agree to meet up again as ...
A. 2 February 2012: Without knowing you and seeing you in action we can only guess what the trouble is.
Is it possible you're expecting exclusivity too early? Agreeing to meet up again does not mean you're both taken. There is nothing wrong with acepting invitati... (read in full...)
I don't love him, but he doesn't listen!
Q. I just realized that I don't love him ,and I'm pretty sure he knows it ,he see's the signs obviously .I just want him out of my life *period . How can I get rid of him ? He's changed in a good way ,to little to late ,I just want him out ,I told him ...
A. 2 February 2012: What is stopping you from ending it and moving on? What exactly is it you need him to do?
He can tell you it isn't over while he watches you pack your bags and and he can keep calling after you as you walk out the door.
I don't understand why y... (read in full...)
I feel like such an idiot for being ignored!
Q. I'm really upset. I went on my first date with this guy on Saturday, and it seemed like it went well. We spent twelve hours together in total on Saturday !. I sent him a message on Sunday, saying that i enjoyed the date, and that i looked forward ...
A. 1 February 2012: Why not decide whether or YOU want to date HIm instead of trying to figure out if he wants to date you. The former empowers you. The latter leaves you hanging on a string.... (read in full...)
I feel like such an idiot for being ignored!
Q. I'm really upset. I went on my first date with this guy on Saturday, and it seemed like it went well. We spent twelve hours together in total on Saturday !. I sent him a message on Sunday, saying that i enjoyed the date, and that i looked forward ...
A. 1 February 2012: Both of you have made a few mistakes here. For starters twelve hours is far too long for a first date. And Sunday was far too soon for a second. You've heard the expression 'Always leave them wanting more'? When he told you he wanted to see yo... (read in full...)
Is he scared to lose me?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been broke up for 3 weeks now. the past two weeks. he has still wanted me around, to cuddle and do sex he said he wasn't using and he didn't want to be friends with benifits. the thing is he broke up with me cause he said he ...
A. 31 January 2012: Scared to lose you? He gave you up! Not once, but twice. He was prepared to risk losing you to someone else while he focussed on studies. Then when given another chance to work things out and be a family he chose to be single. No, my dear, he is ... (read in full...)
How do women do it all? Work, cook, clean.... I'm exhausted!
Q. How do you women do it all? I have highly stressful job. When I get home I am exhausted. I have no energy to do anything else but lay down on the coach and watch TV. My fiance lives with me and he is constantly pushing me to do more. He wants me ...
A. 31 January 2012: Those women either have help, prioritize or, more often than not, they are as desperate and burned out as you are but don't want to look like failures so they hide it. Ask yourself these questions. Why is the divorce rate so high? Why are women ... (read in full...)
How to rebuff one and encourage the other
Q. Hi everyone! I've been vexed lately. There's a guy who has been asking me out but I'm not interested in him at all! Every time he asks me out, I'd tell him I was busy/engaged and even feigned a fever once. I know it's wrong to lie to someone but I ...
A. 31 January 2012: If the first guy is going to ignore not so subtle hints then he leaves you no choice but to come right out and tell him you see him as a platonic friend only. Be courteous of course, but never, ever mince words or work yourself into a corner just to ... (read in full...)
It seems like sex is a chore for her, how can we improve things?
Q. I've been in a relationship with my gf for 10 months now. We've lived with each other for 6. The problem for me is the almost non existent passion/sex intimacy.now the problem isn't so much the lack of regular sex as that doesnt worry me so much, ...
A. 31 January 2012: My guess is the problem is not inside the bedroom, but outside it. Sex might be a chore for her if she isn't getting what she wants or needs in the relationship as a whole. Without knowing more about the dynamics (I'm not inviting you to tell me. ... (read in full...)
We are friends, but now..he wants to have sex! What should I do?
Q. Hi everyone, So my friend and I have known each other for about 2 years now and we hang out a lot. Our relationship kinda swerves from being platonic to romantic(in a silly way)frequently but I never really thought much of it. Until last week whe...
A. 31 January 2012: If you wanted to have sex with him you'd be all over this, so that is reason enough to decline.
Becoming intimate will affect the friendship and more importantly it will tell him that you're willing to give it away for free. What you have is ... (read in full...)
Too bad to stay. Too good to leave.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 1 year. I moved in with him 2 weeks into our relationship. We have known each other since we were 13 through mutual friends but didn’t start our relationship until we were in our 20’s. The start of our rel...
A. 31 January 2012: How this can be considered 'too good to leave' is beyond me. And moving in together after two weeks of dating is far too soon. You may have a similar sense of humour or enjoy the same films, or whatever your common ground is, but that doesn't mak... (read in full...)
How do I establish I don't want friends with benefits without scaring him off?
Q. So lately I've met a new guy. Let's call him S. I've known him for about a week and we've messed around twice now. When we ended up at the same party I told a friend of his that I liked S. I wasn't all myself at that point in time. The aforemention ...
A. 31 January 2012: I agree with strongfp (rhyme unintended).
Making a big announcement would look weak and desperate. Besides, words are just words.
You show him by your actions that you're not up for a casual fling. If he only wants to be friends then tre... (read in full...)
Was he sincere or just playing games?
Q. My husband told me 4 months ago that he was done with our marriage and leaving. He has left me and our children 4 times over the last several years. Each time he has come back (because I have asked or begged him to). He did not say when he was ...
A. 31 January 2012: He seemed sincere to me. It certainly doesn't sound like he was playing games with you. He expressed interest but withdrew himself for his sake as well as yours.
He's ignoring your calls now probably because he doesn't want to risk temptati... (read in full...)
Wife prefers for us to take care of our own needs rather than have sex
Q. Hi everybody. Wife and I are both around 50 with 4 kids. The youngest is 17. Our sex life is very hit and miss and has been all through our marriage. Her sex drive is low but she masturbates regularly, though she denies that she does it as much as ...
A. 31 January 2012: Oh, she sees it and she has made the connection, but I suspect she is avoiding 'the talk' because she's afraid she'll be forced to provide profound and definite answers and/or make big decisions before she is ready.
It's like dried vomit on the c... (read in full...)
More porn = less sex. What's not to get?
Q. Just wanted to put an opinion out there... I have posted questions and answers about porn, spoken to girlfriends and read endless articles about men and womens views on porn. One thing seems glaringly obvious yet so often overlooked by me...
A. 31 January 2012: Not any harder to believe than if we eat right and exercise we will look and feel great, yet sadly many people are considerably overweight. The problem with porn is that, like fast food, the payoff is immediate and practically guaranteed. Thos... (read in full...)
Should I Travel Other Places in a LDR?
Q. If you are in a Long Distance Relationship, should you travel anywhere unless it's to see your partner? I am having a difficult time and need some advice. I have a LD BF and we are new to the LDR. He moved away for school in September and I made a ...
A. 31 January 2012: There is absolutely nothing wrong with you going to Florida to visit your friend and relatives. Perfectly normal and reasonable.
Your boyfriend is the one being insensitive (or perhaps too sensitive) in expecting you to invest all of your fre... (read in full...)
Which plans should I cancel; those with my mum or my date?
Q. What should i do? It's my mum's birthday tomorrow, and we are supposed to be going shopping in the afternoon, and the cinema at night, but this guy i am dating said he wants to meet tomorrow too. Should i go to the cinema with my mum in the afte...
A. 30 January 2012: Honour the plans with your mum. Not only is she kin but it's her birthday. How you treat your family will influence how a suitor will treat you. If your family is very important and worth impressing, then by extension so are you.... (read in full...)
Rough sex got out of control and I hurt my girlfriend.
Q. I really feel bad about hurting my GF. My girl friend likes it when I get rough. like when we have sex or fingering her, she likes it when I really slam her. or she likes to be slammed against the wall sometime. well last weekend I was fingering her ...
A. 30 January 2012: Safe words are a good idea, but I suggest you keep it simple. 'Red' 'Yellow' 'green' should suffice. The meanings are universal so they'll come easily to you in the heat of the moment.... (read in full...)
Wife Always Walks Ahead of Me...Far Ahead
Q. This is a puzzling thing for me. About 10 years into my marriage I noticed that my wife would immediately walk ahead of me when going places. She doesn't slow down, just keeps walking. She is not more attractive for a woman than I am for a man, ...
A. 30 January 2012: marieclaire, I don't think the OP meant to insult his wife. I suspect he anticipated the suggestion that his wife was embarrassed by his appearance and tried to address it before it was asked.
OP, I tend to walk quickly, as if I'm on a mission ... (read in full...)
My bisexual girlfriend wanted to have a threesome, but the way she worded it makes me feel bad!
Q. My girlfriend told me she fancied a girl we met, and suggested we hit on her together and potentially have a threesome. I said I wasn't interested at the moment, but the issue has been bothering me a lot since. The girl in question was seriously ...
A. 30 January 2012: Times must have changed because as far as I knew 'queer' meant gay, not bisexual. And being bisexual means one is romantically and sexually attracted to people of either gender. Not that they must have one of each.
Don't sell yourself short. W... (read in full...)
My little brother has aspergers and hurts me when he gets mad. How do I get my parents to believe me?
Q. my younger brothr is 9 years old and he makes me want to stab myself or him!!! the reason for this is that he has a type of autism called aspergers. all the time i have to hear "just ignore what hes saying" or "its only the aspergers" and even ...
A. 30 January 2012: Your brother might be a handful for them, leaving them little energy for you. They assume since you do not have aspergers that you rely on them less. Not the ideal situation, but I've seen it happen to others.
You might trying talking about it... (read in full...)
Wife prefers for us to take care of our own needs rather than have sex
Q. Hi everybody. Wife and I are both around 50 with 4 kids. The youngest is 17. Our sex life is very hit and miss and has been all through our marriage. Her sex drive is low but she masturbates regularly, though she denies that she does it as much as ...
A. 30 January 2012: If your wife is masturbating regularly I'd say she does not have a low sex drive.
Without knowing anything about you or the marriage/family dynamics I can only guess and say she prefers the privacy, efficiency and reliability of self gratific... (read in full...)
Why did my ex hit me? What did I do to cause her to behave the way she did?
Q. I need some advice, on how I contributed to this problematic relationship. The first 2 years were fine, but the last year that we moved in together was complete hell. She was always very insecure and would accuse me of being interested in ot...
A. 29 January 2012: She will only if he lets her. Of course, he may be an abuser himself...... (read in full...)
Why did my ex hit me? What did I do to cause her to behave the way she did?
Q. I need some advice, on how I contributed to this problematic relationship. The first 2 years were fine, but the last year that we moved in together was complete hell. She was always very insecure and would accuse me of being interested in ot...
A. 29 January 2012: This was not your fault and you did not deserve to be treated this way.
Your ex-girlfriend is a bully with a very poor self image. She is inherently weak and she knows it which is why she has no respect for anyone who acquiesces to her. In her m... (read in full...)
I'm leaving my abusive husband, but why do I still feel so weak?
Q. Dear all, After 3 years of misery in a really bad marriage I finally decided to separate from my husband. I have no doubt that the marriage was bad and that this is the right decision but my problem is that I’m so afraid of the future. I’m 33 y...
A. 28 January 2012: The measure of strength and character is not doing what is easy, but what is very difficult. You're far stronger than you realise.
All this stress and unpleasantness will pass and you will overcome your fears. I promise you, in a matter of month... (read in full...)
| *iar's friends
These are mutual friends, so *iar has
added them and they have added *iar!
|
