A man she had a thing with years ago commented on her Facebook, I feel so betrayed!
Q. Yesterday i saw a post of a picture of my wife and my grandfather on facebook and saying that she feels much happy because never had a real blood grandpapa and for having a grandfather like him,etc. And everybody replied and liked it, and this guy ...
A. 1 November 2011: 'If there was ever an over-the-top reaction, this is the one.' I wholeheartedly agree.
Neither your wife nor her boss have done anything wrong here, so your reaction is inappropriate.... (read in full...)
Are my concerns about her past justified?
Q. I have been going out with a woman for a few weeks and i feel a big connection with her. Everything feels easy and we get along great. The only thing that concerns me is her past. She has told me she was very flirtatious when she was in her late...
A. 1 November 2011: Your past experiences have made you ultra sensitive to this sort of thing.
Flirtatiousness isn't exactly my style either, but what you're describing doesn't raise any red flags for me. She has never cheated, she wasn't promiscuous and it sounds l... (read in full...)
Boyfriend likes me to refer to him as daddy is this a red flag?
Q. My boyfriend sometimes likes to refer to himself or have me refer to him as "daddy". Is this a red flag that he's someone i should never have a child with, or am I overthinking this? ...
A. 1 November 2011: It's not my cup of tea but I have heard of it. It's not necessarily a red flag, but it should give you some indication of the kind of relationship your boyfriend wants with you.
A 'daddy' or father figure represents a protector, provider and some... (read in full...)
Can I have a good life with my controlling man who also tells me lies?
Q. Hi, The man I'm with is a liar, he lies frequently and sometimes over ridiculous things I never know what's real what's not. He was married and even lied about his exes age to me until divorce papers arrived and I seen her age. He's got a tem...
A. 31 October 2011: The problem with this type of relationships is 'everything [you] have' is exactly what you'll have to give it and WHEN it doesn't work out, you'll have virtually nothing left for yourself.
Healthy relationships do not require people to give 'ev... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend that I want an abortion? Or just go ahead and do it anyway?
Q. Well... I am 28 years old and have been with the same guy for 10 years... Yes, 10 years. We're not technically married, but do plan to stay together for the long hall. And, I just found out I was pregnant. Obviously we've been being careful over the ...
A. 31 October 2011: I'm in agreement with Danielpew on this one. If your reason for having an abortion is to protect your boyfriend's career plans then he should be the one to make that call, or at the very least given the chance to weigh in on the matter. Your ... (read in full...)
How do you go about talking to the "other" woman?
Q. How do you go about talking to the "other" woman? I am not a exploding/crazy person and I was thinking that I would talk to her calmly but what to say? I don't know how I would start. But I really do want her to know that she's talking to my ...
A. 29 October 2011: Like the others I'm not sure there is much to be gained by speaking to the other woman. It's not unheard of for a cheating man to convince (a willfully blind) mistress that the angry girlfriend is just an bitter ex.
I think you're giving your boy... (read in full...)
Friend is making racist remarks and says I don't face reality! I am getting sick of him...am I right to feel this way?
Q. Hello everyone, I have a friend who is a little older than me, his dad works with my dad and we have become quite good friends. Recently we have been spending a lot of time together and one night when our parents went out for a meal to discuss ...
A. 29 October 2011: I think you should tell your parents. They're in a better position to guage the strength of their relationship with his parents than you are. And there is no need for you to suffer in silence. Besides, bottling this up and isolating yourself will ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is sick and wont go to the doctor, I'm really worried any idea of what he could be sick with?
Q. Hey guys this is more of a health question but i cant find any help any were on the internet so i was hopeing you guys could help. Well my boyfriend is 18 and about two days ago he started feeling sick. He will feel really hot and break out in to a ...
A. 28 October 2011: The symptoms you're describing are also consistent with the flu. It's premature to assume that he's got something serious that requires medical attention.
If his 'stubbornness' is borne of fear then nagging him or trying to terrorise him into vis... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if I should initiate yet another conversation or just wait for him to come around?
Q. I met someone at work that I an very interested in. Each time we have chatted, the convo was initiated by me. I found out that he is single and is interested in me. So I'm waiting for him to initiate a conversation for once or approach me and he ...
A. 28 October 2011: Wait for him to come around. You've already given him the green light to approach you. He'll have to take the next step.
If you're always initiating contact then he'll get too comfortable and will control the relationship (if one develope... (read in full...)
I asked her to dress sexy and she laughed at me and now I feel embarrassed!
Q. I am in a relationship with this pretty girl for the last 2 years and we are having great loving and sexual relationship . Recently, I asked her to wear very tight pent and jeans in home so that her big tits and butt become obvious for me . She re...
A. 28 October 2011: You'd probably get over the 'shyness' sooner if you thought about how SHE might have felt instead of focussing only on yourself.
'I asked her to wear very tight pent and jeans in home so that her big tits and butt become obvious for me'. If this... (read in full...)
I supported him before we married, now he won't support our child or myself...should I do this on my own?
Q. Dear cupid i need some advice on my marriage i usually have pretty good judgement when it comes to problems but in my marriage what seems like the right thing to do leaves me feeling not at ease and unwilling to give up. you see I've been married ...
A. 28 October 2011: The longer you wait the more accustomed both of you will be to this unacceptable state of affairs and the harder it will be to change things in the future. He's already had several months.
I suspect, not that he's hording money, but that he doesn... (read in full...)
Should I tell my B/f about my dream?
Q. Last night, I had a dream about me and my boyfriend making out. It was obvious we were going to do more in my dream, but I woke up before we got intimate. I need my fellow ants and uncles to give me their opinion. Should I tell my boyfriend abou...
A. 28 October 2011: I agree with the others, especially chigirl. This is just a dream and frankly not remarkable enough to share. And if you're planning to remain a virgin it might be best if you don't. ... (read in full...)
Married man is trying to break the no contact rule
Q. I have cut off a friendship with a married man because we are both attracted to each other and we both realized it should not go any further. We have had no contact for two months now. It has been hard but in that time, I have been trying to move on ...
A. 28 October 2011: The 'why' is obvious. He's pursuing you again. He may have abided by the no contact rule hoping to give you space to miss him and change your mind. Continue to keep yur distance. It may take a while, but eventually he will have to give up.... (read in full...)
He said he'd come over, I gave up, he then left a message. I ignored it. Did I do the right thing?
Q. Hi I just started dating some one! He called me last night said he wanted to seeme before leaving town. His daughter called him and wanted him to come and see her before he left town. He ask me if he could come over when he got back from his ...
A. 28 October 2011: Yes, you did do the right thing and you've set a precedent. Without any fuss or drama you've informed this man that 11:00pm is too late to come over, that you won't wait around for him and that your time is valuable. Well done! I have to agree wi... (read in full...)
Six years and I'm no longer sexually attracted to my boyfriend
Q. Hi! Okay. I'm in a LDR with my boyfriend of all of high school, we are 3rd years in college and 700 miles away. I have come to the recent revelation that I am no longer sexually attracted to him. I have told him this and he still wants to try to ...
A. 28 October 2011: You've outgrown the relationship so it's time to put an end to it. Trying to 'make it work' is just delaying the inevitable and it's your boyfriend's way of buying time until he's ready to let go. ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend I shaved off my pubic hair?
Q. Ok, so about a week ago, I was shaving my bikini line, but I angled the razor wrong, and shaved off a patch of pubic hair that made my area, which is usually neat, trimmed, and proper looking, look stupid, so in an effort to try and fix it, I ended ...
A. 26 October 2011: Say njothing. If he asks or comments about it then tell him exactly what you told us. Leave out the bit about feeling ridiculous as this really isn't a big deal. The more fuss you make of it, the bigger an issue he will think it is.
Besid... (read in full...)
Do all girls use emotional blackmail to get things done for them?
Q. My girlfriend emotionally blackmails me that If I don’t do this or that , she will dump me. It has been happening for the last 8 months and we have been together since April 2006. She also loves me and three days back, when I came back from office, ...
A. 24 October 2011: She will continue to use blackmail for as long as it gets her what she wants. Next time she tries it, call her bluff. ... (read in full...)
It's the small things he doesn't do which make me feel unappreciated
Q. Hello. Just wondered If I am being unreasonable, as my partner said, sometimes it's good to get an outsiders perspective! Live with my partner of 4 years. I work near enough full time and study full time. He works full time. I do pretty much all ...
A. 24 October 2011: I'm in agreement with Sageoldguy 100% on this one.
Your boyfriend is very selfish and inconsiderate, but to be honest I cringed at some of the things you do for him. Cooking two separate meals?
If you want to be appreciated for the things y... (read in full...)
B/f wants a foursome--3 guys and me! I kind of want it too!
Q. I've had the biggest crush on this guy for like a year now. He's super adorable. We flirt all the time. He and I have been "talking" for like two months now. I love when people give me attention and he gives me the most. Last month, we were at his ...
A. 24 October 2011: Thanks, eyeswideopen. :)... (read in full...)
Is it fair that I ask him to stop communication with his ex?
Q. In short, there's this girl that my man was in love with before him and I became an item. He's stayed friends with her after claiming to be over her. Their close contact bothered me, and I wrote about it on here even, to ask if this should be ...
A. 21 October 2011: You're right about not trying to make HIM choose between friends and girlfriends. YOU are the one who must decide when, and in whom, to invest yourself. I don't have high hopes for a promising future with this guy, but anything is possible and if ... (read in full...)
Can women really be addicted to a man for the sex?
Q. Okay ladies, this is pretty sexual. What do you think of a man that is a, for lack of a better word, GOD in bed. Can women really be addicted to a man that can basically just give her absolute pleasure anytime, anywhere, all the time? Would cheating ...
A. 21 October 2011: People are capable of forming addictions to anything that provdes them with immediate gratification, so the answer to your first questions is yes, women can become 'addicted'. Like men, some women do discuss private sexual matters with their frien... (read in full...)
I don't want to get feelings for somebody who really doesn't want a relationship.
Q. I've recently developed a sort of fuck buddy type deal with a guy who I started out dating. Not serious dating or a relationship,but just dating as in going out for dinner and what not. I kind of got pissed off because he would want to make plans ...
A. 21 October 2011: If you're unwilling to sacrifice the sex to establish clear boundaries then you aren't leaving yourself many options but to comply with whatever he wants. You'll have to be prepared to take some calculated risks. While I agree with maintaining... (read in full...)
How many times do you go out and week and how much do you drink?
Q. Hi Everyone, I have a question please, especially for people living in the UK that are late thirties/early forties...how many times do you go out each week in the evening and would this usually involve drinking on each of those occasions? If so, ...
A. 15 October 2011: Like the majority of my friends, I seldom drink and never to excess (I stop as soon as I feel a slight buzz). So in my opinion consuming alcohol once a week is excessive. However I do have a friend who enjoys beer and he will have ONE with dinner ... (read in full...)
I was innocent! A girl accused me of rape so her boyfriend wouldn't think she cheated! Its ruined my life!
Q. A girl I had a fling with cried rape on me and even though I was proved innocent it's ruined my life. It seems no one 100% believes me and still questions what happened. A couple of months ago I was out with a few mates in a club and got chatting to ...
A. 15 October 2011: I, too, think you should consider civil action. Speak to a lawyer.
Women who do this are absolutely dispicable, not only because of the harm they cause to real rape victims but to the innocent men who are wrongly accused. More of them might th... (read in full...)
My girl friend wants to stop sex! I freaked out. Please, how can I make our relationship work?
Q. Hi people of dearcupid I have a major problem with my girlfriend it is just that I love her so damn much and she all of sudden she asked that if we can stop having sex and I got freaked out and asked her why and if she is cheating on me or somethin...
A. 15 October 2011: I second that. Well said, YouWish.... (read in full...)
I'm confused by his letter, is this just a friendly comment?
Q. Long story short i ended up falling for a guy i had a "casual" thing with and things ended badly. He got back with an ex girlfriend which broke my heart but then me and him ended up carrying on seeing each other (big mistake) and i eventually told ...
A. 13 October 2011: 'I just got your letter, thank you so much' is his response to being dumped? Interesting.
His response sounds, to me, like 'yeah, yeah, whatever, so when are we getting together again?' As if he wasn't even listening.
He is not your friend. His... (read in full...)
My new boyfriend doesn't like PDA but I'm the kind of person who loves being hugged!
Q. So i have a new boyfriend. We started dating last week, and theres a little something im curious over. How should i take it that he doesn't like PDA? I told him i understood, that i also didn't like making out n public (school). I talked to him for ...
A. 13 October 2011: I'm not one for public displays of affection either so I can understand your boyfriend's dislike of it.
Hugging and/or kissing him in front of his friends or any other large group would be forcing him into the spotlight and I don't think he'd lik... (read in full...)
Should I tell my bestfriend that her boyfriend was cheating on her?
Q. I need to get someone else advice on this. should I tell my best friend that her boyfriend was cheating on her? My best friend and I are close, so I feel bad. My sister came and told me that my best friend boyfriend has been cheating on her....
A. 13 October 2011: You're right, that is way too much to withhold from your friend. It was thoughtless of your sister to put you in this position. There was no point in giving you that information if you weren't supposed to act on it.
If it was only one minor in... (read in full...)
Did he ever actually value me or was I a fool?
Q. i worked with a guy for 3 years and thought he viewed me as a good friend-he always referred to me as a sister ! i really cared about him and did all i could to help including saving him from getting sacked, and helped with work and all sorts. then ...
A. 13 October 2011: You were bad to yourself, not to him. He just followed your lead.
If you want to be appreciated for what you do then you must do it in moderation and know when to turn off the tap.
... (read in full...)
Why wasn't I invited to my friend's sister's party??
Q. I know this is a dating forum, but I have a question about general friendships which is part of relationship issues. my friend's sister didnt invite me to her gathering at her husband's house. She has been married since one year, and I only have ...
A. 13 October 2011: I think that if you've known these people that long and never had any other reason to question the friendship you should just come right out and ask. Do it tactfully though, being careful not to sound accusing.
... (read in full...)
B/f wants a foursome--3 guys and me! I kind of want it too!
Q. I've had the biggest crush on this guy for like a year now. He's super adorable. We flirt all the time. He and I have been "talking" for like two months now. I love when people give me attention and he gives me the most. Last month, we were at his ...
A. 13 October 2011: A definite NO to that.
Your desire for attention is blinding you to a big red flag here. This guy isn't open minded sexually or interested in sharing a wild experience with you. He is looking to share you with his brother and his friend. He knows... (read in full...)
I am about to go public with our separation and am worried how to interact with our friends!
Q. Hi, I'd be grateful for any help please. I have been going through a very painful separation that is now almost complete, except that, for what I believe are good reasons, we did not tell everyone that we know - basically my grown up child was ...
A. 11 October 2011: Friends and family will follow your lead. If you seem upbeat and confident, they will feel more at ease. Assume people will treat you the same way they always have and they'll be more inclined to do so. If they seem to avoid you, respect that bou... (read in full...)
He seems happy to have a FB relationship, but I find myself wanting more
Q. I met this guy online a year ago.Yes it was based on sex.. but mind blowing sex. a year later and i find myself wanting something more, im just not feeling fulfilled any more. We see each other once a week or once every two weeks. He wont just come ...
A. 10 October 2011: You're very welcome :)... (read in full...)
All my friends said you bleed your first time but I didn't!
Q. hi everyone.here is my concern. On March this year me and my bf had sex for the 1st time. I was a vagin till then..1st time it was so painful and i asked him to stop..so he did. after that we didn't have intercourse but he do fingering.but two ...
A. 10 October 2011: Not all women bleed when their hymen is torn so you are not alone. Your's is either more flexible or, most likely, wasn't torn if your boyfriend didn't fully penetrate you. ... (read in full...)
I need help, I don't understand what he wants
Q. My boyfriend are heading down that breakup path, I have my last homecoming next weekend and we have been dying to go together all year. We are best friends, but I am moving 4 hours away in a week and we've been together about 8 months. He's been ...
A. 10 October 2011: This isn't what you want to hear, but your boyfriend's signals are crystal clear to me. He cares about you but he is no longer in love. He is withdrawing from you, putting out feelers and making post relationship plans. He wants to end things on... (read in full...)
How can a handle family members commenting on my health/weight?
Q. Ok. I have a question about family. So I am sitting at my nieces bday party. Once again the subject of health comes about. I have health prob related to my being overweight. Once again I hear advice from those "well meaning" family members ...
A. 10 October 2011: 'I appreciate your concern for my well being, but my weight is my business and no one else's and I prefer not to discuss it. Thank you.' Tact and diplomacy are preferable, but sometimes being too nice only invites further discussion. The ... (read in full...)
Mum said they'll think of it as more than just friends!
Q. It was my cousins birthday party last night and while there two of his friends announced that they fancied me to him, gradually over the night the message got to me. Right at the end of the night a fight broke out and one of them got quite badly ...
A. 10 October 2011: Your mother is absolutely right.
These young men have proven they're willing to fight over you and by inviting them both to be 'friends' you've just announced that you're holding a competition. You may not have stated it outright but that is how y... (read in full...)
I don't want to have sex all the time!
Q. Hi Everyone thank you for reading this even if you cant help me. I recently turned 18 and im in a relationship with a 30 year old women. She treats me well and i feel close to her, loved and respected but i still feel like there is something ...
A. 10 October 2011: I think you're right in that she is using you for sex.
When you say you've loved her since you were 12 does this mean you were involved with her then or just admired her from afar until you were of legal age?
My advice is to quietly contact ... (read in full...)
He seems happy to have a FB relationship, but I find myself wanting more
Q. I met this guy online a year ago.Yes it was based on sex.. but mind blowing sex. a year later and i find myself wanting something more, im just not feeling fulfilled any more. We see each other once a week or once every two weeks. He wont just come ...
A. 10 October 2011: You aren't friends with benefits. You're both just a booty call and he has made it clear, by word and by deed, that that is all he wants.
He isn't even interested in a platonic friendship so there really is no reason to keep him around. And sinc... (read in full...)
My ex wants me back, but can I trust him after he texts other girls ?
Q. Hey I recently split up with my ex fiance who I have been engaged to for nearly a year and he has been texting me saying he still loves me and wants me back but I don't think I can trust him not to leave me again throughout our relationship I used...
A. 10 October 2011: No, I don't think it's a good idea to take your former fiance back. Not enough time has passed for him to have made any real changes in his life and to determine how solid those changes are.
It's definitely not in your best interest to invest y... (read in full...)
Early on in dating, is 26 hours without contact a cause to worry?
Q. I hvae just started dating a new man. We have been on two (what I think) have been amazingly wonderful dates, and there is great chemistry and a connection already. It is obvious he is attracted to me - he isn't making any attempt to hide the f...
A. 10 October 2011: Without knowing you it is near impossible to determine what exactly the problem is. Your friends might be honest about your qualities but holding back for fear of hurting your feelings, especially if you're already vulnerable and sensitive about ... (read in full...)
Early on in dating, is 26 hours without contact a cause to worry?
Q. I hvae just started dating a new man. We have been on two (what I think) have been amazingly wonderful dates, and there is great chemistry and a connection already. It is obvious he is attracted to me - he isn't making any attempt to hide the f...
A. 9 October 2011: Far too soon to worry. In fact, if after only two dates, you're already anxious enough to seek reassurance about him losing interest then I'd say you're already too heavily invested.
... (read in full...)
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