I read my wife's journal and now I am tormented by it
Q. I have been with my wife for 9 years, married for 6. I was a virgin when we met. She told me she had been with three men. Considering her great beauty and how many men were after her I didn't think that was so bad, especially because she is three...
A. 23 December 2011: Cereberus,
As flattered as I am to think I come across as impervious to pain, nothing could be further from the truth. I’ve had experience with retroactive jealousy from both sides of the equation so I have a pretty solid grasp of the situatio... (read in full...)
I read my wife's journal and now I am tormented by it
Q. I have been with my wife for 9 years, married for 6. I was a virgin when we met. She told me she had been with three men. Considering her great beauty and how many men were after her I didn't think that was so bad, especially because she is three...
A. 22 December 2011: Male anon:
What defines a woman is what is between her ears, not who might been between her legs. The OP's wife is the same person now as she was before he read her journal. She had the same habits, the same interests, the same dreams and ambition... (read in full...)
Why do girls only want to be friends?
Q. Why do girls only want to be friends. im tried of being led on by them and it sucks. i want a girl that will like me for a long time someone that will care about me.please help...
A. 21 December 2011: Friends like and care about you.
Besides lack of romantic interest, another common reason girls state they want to be friends is to ensure a guy likes them for who they are, not what's in their pants.
Another is to have some control over the... (read in full...)
His ex is pregnant but he's still planning to go on with our wedding plans!
Q. I having been dating this guy for 3monts and we are planning to get married early next year. Everything has been going well until myboyfriend's ex come saying she is 3months pregnant and if my boyfriend doesnt want to marry her then she can have an ...
A. 21 December 2011: I agree you're moving way too fast. That's not to say it won't work out between you both, but it would increase the odds if you took some time to really get to know each other. This is a big life decision you're making here.
Frankly, I would no... (read in full...)
I read my wife's journal and now I am tormented by it
Q. I have been with my wife for 9 years, married for 6. I was a virgin when we met. She told me she had been with three men. Considering her great beauty and how many men were after her I didn't think that was so bad, especially because she is three...
A. 21 December 2011: Go on your own first. It's better to sort your thoughts out before talking to your wife.
To be honest, I think this is really very sad that you'd have to seek therapy for something like this. Like I said earlier, we women have been dealing ... (read in full...)
Can I believe my boyfriend when he says he is not gay?
Q. My bf looked at transvestites online in the past.I asked him openly if he was bi and he said no.I said that i don't care what he did before me, and that if he tried something i would understand him 100%.That we all have the right to have fantasies, ...
A. 21 December 2011: Evidently you're not as open minded as you think. You can browse whatever you want online, but if he does it he gets smacked with a label. Your curiosity is innocent but his must be part of some hidden agenda.
Between the two of you don't yo... (read in full...)
I read my wife's journal and now I am tormented by it
Q. I have been with my wife for 9 years, married for 6. I was a virgin when we met. She told me she had been with three men. Considering her great beauty and how many men were after her I didn't think that was so bad, especially because she is three...
A. 20 December 2011: OP, men have been known to inflate and embellish accounts of their sexual encounters. Yet despite this, and the fact that you don't even know these men, you and the male anonymous below are acting on the assumption that whatever a man says about a ... (read in full...)
How do I put this behind me? Is there a reason why this still bothers me?
Q. ive been with my husband 21 yrs... He has said some inproper things too other woman.(example) a ex friend(female) ask my husband too loan her 20 bucks,my husband says "dont tell dawn(me) i dont want her to accuse me of flirting with you" etc. My ...
A. 20 December 2011: Are you serious? I'm assuming that if you had something more incriminating to say about him you'd have included it in your post. So my guess is that your husband's statement to your friend and his subsequent revelation to you were not motivated by... (read in full...)
Hubby's clothes have body glitter on them...is this from another woman?
Q. Three years ago right after having a baby, I found my husband's jacket that he wears everywhere (especially on business trips) covered in body glitter, on the front. He of course told me a female co-worked sat on it after he had thrown it on a ...
A. 20 December 2011: No woman wears body glitter to work in an office.
Glitter on the inside suggests whoever wore the glitter also wore the shirt.
I share your suspicion that something is not right here. It sounds like he's been visiting strip clubs and gettin... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't like it when I go out with my friends
Q. I have been dating the same guy for two years and 4 months now and he is kind, giving, funny.. he is very opposite of me, that is why i love him so much. to me, the only problem we have is i like to go out with my friends... it's actually specific ...
A. 20 December 2011: I understand your boyfriend being a bit nervous about it. You met him there, so in his mind you could just as easily meet someone else there. Then again, that could be said of just about anywhere.
He is being a bit controlling so maybe it's bes... (read in full...)
My b/f is too jealous and I'm afraid it might get out of hand!
Q. Okay this was my weekend! I went to my boyfriends house with his friends and when his one friend (Josh) saw me he ran up to me and hugged me and said i look sexy. my boyfriend got really really mad and pushed him off me i felt like he went a bit to...
A. 19 December 2011: Your boyfriend's reaction may have been a bit extreme, but it was certainly understandable. Josh is obviously very comfortable putting his lips and his hands on someone else's girlfriend and you have given him the green light. You'd be singing a ve... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend's in denial of being bisexual and won't admit it for fear of me telling his family & friends
Q. Hi Cupid, I am a 46 year old heterosexual female and have been in a relationship with a man for 2years. I recently found some gay porn and photo's of young boys having sex on his computer. When I confronted him about this he denied it straight away, ...
A. 19 December 2011: Since you have not expressed any concern about paedophilia, I'm going to assume that by 'young boys' you mean young men, of legal age.
Watching gay porn is not proof that one is gay. Many people watch it, despite not being romantially attracte... (read in full...)
My wife's sister openly flirts with me and "accidently" walked into the bathroom wearing just her panties!
Q. Do many young girls flirt (and more) with older men? My wife's younger sister has openly flirted with me many times and touches me and last summer she "accidently" walked into the bathroom wearing just her panties. Ever since I married her sist...
A. 19 December 2011: I agree with Danielpew. ... (read in full...)
She's been acting distant since I showed up late for a date. Should I just call it quits?
Q. Hi, I have recently noticed the girl I've been seeing has distanced herself from me. She hasn't really talked to me properly since I was late for our last date. She offered to meet again the next day to make up for the time we lost. She didn't call ...
A. 19 December 2011: This new development does not change my outlook of the situation. In fact it confirmed some of it.
Her phone may have been cut off, but if she was really that interested she would have used a pay phone. She would not want to run the risk of losin... (read in full...)
Is my wife embarassed by me? She told me "not be obnoxious" when I meet her friends.
Q. We have been married for 13 years and have been together as a couple for over 18, over half of our lives, and have multiple children together. Tomorrow, we are supposed to meet with my wife's friends, maybe some of their husbands, and one friend has ...
A. 19 December 2011: Your behaviour is NOT who you are. It's what you do and no, your wife is not obliged to like and accept it just because you're married. Nor should she have to lose friends because of it.
Would you tell a battered wife that her husband's violence... (read in full...)
B/f embarrassed me in front of his friends. Should we talk about it again?
Q. I dont know whether this is a dumpable offence or not.... I was invited to my boyfriends house christmas dinner, and i was meeting some friends i had not yet met before, so i was trying hard to make an effort for him as you do, and during dinne...
A. 19 December 2011: I would not bring this up again. Saying very little (but making what you do say count) carries far more weight than a long, drawn out conversation. He heard you the first time and he knows you're less than impressed.
If it never happens again an... (read in full...)
My ex didn't wish me a happy birthday and it really hurts me!
Q. Why do I feel so upset about this? am I overreacting? So is my birthday today and my ex boyfriend didn't even wish me a happy birthday. He dumped me saying he didn't want a relationship. But I found out he lied and cheated on me. On ...
A. 18 December 2011: You broke up with him (rightly so) and said you didn't want friendship, so why should he contact you at all? I don't think you should have wished him a happy birthday either. Nor do I think you should have him on Facebook.
Close this chapter.... (read in full...)
She's been acting distant since I showed up late for a date. Should I just call it quits?
Q. Hi, I have recently noticed the girl I've been seeing has distanced herself from me. She hasn't really talked to me properly since I was late for our last date. She offered to meet again the next day to make up for the time we lost. She didn't call ...
A. 17 December 2011: Consider it over.
In your post you come across as very unsure of yourself. You assume failure and pre-empt her by rejecting her only to dangle yourself in front of her like a carrot hoping she'll chase you.
If your intent was to end it, then ... (read in full...)
Can I ruin his porn videos without visible proof?
Q. Okay so, my boyfriend has recently stopped watching porn out of respect for me. I just recently found his old porn stash of dvds and he doesn't know that I know about them. I know I'm going to get a lot of responses about how I should talk to him ...
A. 17 December 2011: Forget the childish games. You don't like them, he claims he doesn't watch them anymore, so treat them the way you'd treat any junk. Break them and toss them out. No fuss, no muss and no announcements.
If he asks about them, be matter of fact abo... (read in full...)
My husband lies about our finances and wont let me know what is going on!
Q. I have been married for 16 years but we have been together for 25 years. We have 2 children that I adore. Recently after getting married I found out my husband was lying to me about things . I was devestated but he assured me he would be open and ...
A. 16 December 2011: Clearly you cannot rely on this man to provide you with information. You're going to have to take the bull by the horns and dig it up for yourself. I suggest you obtain a credit report for yourself, and if possible for your husband (without... (read in full...)
Just curious or bisexual?
Q. Hi, I'm having some trouble dealing with something that happened with a work friend. We went out with the rest of work for our Christmas do and I ended up kissing a boy from work called 'Ryan'. We were really drunk but when we were at the tabl...
A. 16 December 2011: Obviously none of us can say for certain if he is bisexual or just curious. If your reason for asking is to determine whether or not to press the issue in hopes of having a relationship, then I strongly suggest you leave it alone.
If he is bisex... (read in full...)
Am I being controlling, or am I just being cautious and protecting my marriage from further destruction?
Q. Hello, I need some advice and opinions. My wife and I have been married for 16 years and its been a pretty tough marriage from the beginning. We have both been faithful over the years, but not real happy. I just recently realized that I've been a v...
A. 16 December 2011: One other thing...
'I asked the wife just how going out would work'. THE wife. What is that? Is that like 'THE car' or 'THE stove'?
When we refer to a person, especially someone close to us, as 'the' anything it is either because we see t... (read in full...)
Am I being controlling, or am I just being cautious and protecting my marriage from further destruction?
Q. Hello, I need some advice and opinions. My wife and I have been married for 16 years and its been a pretty tough marriage from the beginning. We have both been faithful over the years, but not real happy. I just recently realized that I've been a v...
A. 16 December 2011: In other words do we think you should try to control you're wife's activities to protect your marriage which is in jeopardy because of your controlling behaviour.
I understand you're afraid and I do not mean to sound dismissive or contempt... (read in full...)
Just for a night I want to feel like a priority, not an obligation
Q. I've been in a long distance relationship for over a year and recently I've been contemplating cheating. I knew with distance I wouldn't be the main focus for my boyfriend but I never expected that I'd feel like some days he'd be talking to me out ...
A. 15 December 2011: The problem with long distance relationships is they require the all the sacrifices (and some) that local ones do without even half of the benefits. You're getting the worst of both worlds; the isolation of being single with the restrictions of a ... (read in full...)
My second marriage, his first... what is the proper way to go about this? Is it inappropriate to have a bridal shower, bachelorette party, register for gifts? Standard wedding dress or something a little more low key?
Q. This will be my second wedding and my fiance's first. I was married for 5 yrs and it didnt work out. My fiance and i dated for a yr and then he asked me to marry him. This is his first so i want him and his family to experience the whole "first ...
A. 15 December 2011: My personal preference is modest, but tasteful. There are several benefits.
For starters, it is far less expensive and stressful for the bridal couple and their families. Many people waste tens of thousands of dollars on rings and a party that cou... (read in full...)
Is it his ego that makes him treat me this way?
Q. There is this guy, we're not together because he said he doesnt want me in that way. But I think I love him so I allow myself to be used in the bedroom by him. Sometimes I hate him, and then when we just talk all day, or we just talk when he is with ...
A. 14 December 2011: I would. Whatever his feelings are they aren't strong enough for him to want to have anything exclusive and official with you.
You're still in limbo and nothing will change in the forseeable future, so really what good are his feelings... (read in full...)
What do I do if my ex decides to come back again?
Q. My ex boyfriend is a creep. He manipulated me throughout high school and abused me psychologically. I'm in college now and have a boyfriend I really care about, but every once in a while my ex will get into contact with me (via different numbers) ...
A. 14 December 2011: I think it's time to consider legal options. Gather evidence of his emails and text messages, and perhaps consider keeping a log, including dates, times and a description of the behaviour that concerns you.
If he is calling you at home and you ... (read in full...)
Is it his ego that makes him treat me this way?
Q. There is this guy, we're not together because he said he doesnt want me in that way. But I think I love him so I allow myself to be used in the bedroom by him. Sometimes I hate him, and then when we just talk all day, or we just talk when he is with ...
A. 14 December 2011: No, this is not an ego thing. It's a 'string someone along for your own personal use' thing.
Your talking to other boys jeopardizes his access to hassle free sex. That is why he gets uptight. Nothing more.
Please stop analysing his be... (read in full...)
Should I accept the Proposal? But I don't trust him!
Q. Hey, I need some advice on whether I should listen to my head or my heart regarding my bf's marriage proposal. We've been together 17 months, and he's asked me to marry him. My initial reaction was to be very very happy... but I'm starting to give ...
A. 14 December 2011: Always, always, always follow your head. Your boyfriend is untrustworthy and his excuses are weak. He is not husband or father material. Decline his proposal and send him packing. The longer you keep him around the more attached you'll ... (read in full...)
It drives me insane when my boyfriend talks about his ex!
Q. My boyfriend has 2 children - he is a very hands on dad which is brilliant. His ex is seeing someone else and she seems ok and I know he is besotted with me. However, when they argue, he always comes running to me and tells me everything. Then the ...
A. 14 December 2011: I wouldn't read anything into it as I don't see her as a threat to your relationship (from what you've described), but it is intruding upon your boundaries.
He should not be sharing details of his squabbles with you. ... (read in full...)
Breakup after 7 years of dating, ex wanted to stay friends. I don't. Am I cold?
Q. Dear Cupid, I recently broke up with a GF of 7 yrs, we had been faithful to each others over all those years, even when we had short breaks, and when we broke up 2 weeks ago, I feel relieved and just want to get on with my life. I feel that we ...
A. 11 December 2011: Not cold and selfish at all. This is a healthy and reasonable decision. Far too many people who vow to remain friends end up blurring the lines. Best to have a clean break.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend claims she doesn't love me because I'm dishonest
Q. I feel helpless I absolutely love my girlfriend but she doesn't love me because she claims I am a compulsive liar and don't love her at all. And I feel like I am unloved she tells me she never loved me and she only told me she did for me not t...
A. 11 December 2011: Are you sure this person is still your girlfriend? This sounds to me like a parting shot or an act of desperation designed to get rid of someone who just won't go away.
If your girlfriend claims she doesn't love you, you'll have to take her word... (read in full...)
Is this a bridge worth mending?
Q. I really need a pep talk here. ): Brace yourselves, it's a long story! btw, hi. Sorry if its hard to read, it's 2AM here. I was supposed to attend a college somewhere on the east coast to be with my boyfriend at the time. Let's say his...
A. 11 December 2011: '1. She told me she didn't understand why I kept apologizing, and when I brought up the letter that the other girl wrote (lets say M now) she was really confused because she understood why I didn't go with them, but couldn't understand my guilt. ' ... (read in full...)
The guy I liked asked out my friend. Do I have the right to be angry at them?
Q. Because the guy I've been in love with for three months asked out one of my good friends (and they're together now), does that give me the right to be mad at them, and should I feel bad for wishing that they'd break up?...
A. 11 December 2011: You're justified in feeling hurt and disappointed, and it is understandable that you want them to break up (given their ages they probably will before long), but since they did you no wrong you would not be justified in taking your frustration out ... (read in full...)
Is he trying to repair our arrangement or end it?
Q. I got i txt msg from a guy friend i had sex with about 2 months ago just once but i got msg today saying 'i dont know how this is going 2 work, when am free your always busy and when your free am busy' what does he want? is it just the sex or does ...
A. 11 December 2011: My opinion...he wants to end it, not fix it.
Just say 'ok' and walk away. No loss here. He was only a one time sex hook up.
... (read in full...)
Does this mean she misses me?
Q. My ex gf and I of 3.5 years broke up recently. She broke up with me and met someone which caused our breakup to actually happen. She left me for someone else. What does it mean when I find out that she is taking this guy to all the places that she ...
A. 11 December 2011: It means she enjoys those places and wants to share that with someone else. You might have made an impression on her, but that is not the same as actually missing you.
It's probably not what you wanted to hear, but I really wouldn't read more int... (read in full...)
Is he cheating or is his story plausible?
Q. Please bear with the long description :/ Any reply is much appreciated. I have been in a relationship for 8 months with a guy who looks great on paper. He's a doctor with a prominent position and good reputation in the community. We met online. ...
A. 11 December 2011: 'His story is vaguely plausible, but I wouldn't buy it.' I concur. You have an account with the same site and without any difficulty you were able to hide your profile. Why can't he? You have his password. Go in and hide it yourself and see... (read in full...)
Should I pursue a woman in an open relationship?
Q. I met this girl a few months ago and we really clicked. All the vibes were great and we are really close. So close that shes my neighbor! The only problem is, shes in an open relationship with this guy who is in the navy. He doesnt get discharg...
A. 11 December 2011: Pursuing this woman exposes you to unneccesary and avoidable grief.
For starters, you have only her word that her relationship is open. Unless you've spoken to the boyfriend yourself or you've heard her speak honestly about you to him, then you... (read in full...)
I'm concerned that my b/f is in denial about being gay
Q. My boyfriend and I are finally dating after knowing each other for 8 years. We had a bit of a blurred relationship in the past where we were having sex but not officially together. We were both to blame. He says it was due to his social anxiety ...
A. 9 December 2011: There is nothing in your description of your boyfriend that would lead me to suspect he was gay. A lot of men and women have lisps. Some women have deep, smokey voices and some men have softer ones. Many men enjoy wine and fine dining. In wrestling ... (read in full...)
Big change since I met the online guy in person
Q. I met this guy online about three months ago. Our conversations were always super silly and dumb. We never really talked about anything serious like how our days went or stuff like that. His phone service sucks and there's usually always a delay in ...
A. 8 December 2011: I could be wrong, but my guess is that after meeting in real life he's realised there is no chemistry between you (at least not on his end). Try not to take it personally, as it does not mean there is something wrong with you. Sometimes things just ... (read in full...)
What should I do as I am bi and I do feel as if I was the reason?
Q. It has been hard for me this year. My first boyfriend turned out to be gay and he says that I was the reason for him turning gay. What should I do as I am bi and I do feel as if i was the reason?...
A. 7 December 2011: You did not 'turn' your boyfriend gay. He may have come to the realisation he was gay while he was with you, but you were not the cause.
You're being bi-sexual has nothing to do with it either.... (read in full...)
LDR b/f says he needs space. Does he mean stop talking about our relationship?
Q. Hi all, I hope you can help, my LD( about 2 hrs drive) bf and I have had a roller coaster relationship since we met- lots to do with my past, my dad being diagnosed with cancer, my insecurites, my constant over analysing of our relation...
A. 7 December 2011: You're very welcome and thank you for the feedback. Best of luck. :)... (read in full...)
My LDR owes me money. He's coming to stay with me. How should we work out who'll pay for what while he's with me?
Q. My boyfriend works in another city and is coming to stay with me for 4 weeks on his holiday. He's coming to my place because he lives with his mom and I can't go there, and also I am not going to have time off until next year. He borrowed mon...
A. 7 December 2011: I'm with the others. This relationship doesn't look right at all.
Am I correct in assuming that you live on your own and support yourself? His mother supports him and he still can't pay for his own transporation?
He should repay you the en... (read in full...)
LDR b/f says he needs space. Does he mean stop talking about our relationship?
Q. Hi all, I hope you can help, my LD( about 2 hrs drive) bf and I have had a roller coaster relationship since we met- lots to do with my past, my dad being diagnosed with cancer, my insecurites, my constant over analysing of our relation...
A. 7 December 2011: I thought the same thing of the video as soon as I read it, that you were trying too hard.
I think by space he means stop talking about my and his feelings and our relationship all the time. Do you think Im right? YES, without a doubt.
... (read in full...)
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