I am in love with my ex. Ex who broke my heart now wants to be friends. What do I do?
Q. I'm in love with my ex. We broke up 5 Months ago after 8 months together and he did it by text after I caught him online cheating and told him to get out of my apartment. He answered that with a "have a good life. Move on" text and would t answ...
A. 11 February 2012: Don't take him back either as a friend or a boyfriend. Cut him loose and move on.... (read in full...)
I'm leaving my abusive husband, but why do I still feel so weak?
Q. Dear all, After 3 years of misery in a really bad marriage I finally decided to separate from my husband. I have no doubt that the marriage was bad and that this is the right decision but my problem is that I’m so afraid of the future. I’m 33 y...
A. 28 January 2012: The measure of strength and character is not doing what is easy, but what is very difficult. You're far stronger than you realise.
All this stress and unpleasantness will pass and you will overcome your fears. I promise you, in a matter of month... (read in full...)
My husband has joined an online dating site
Q. My husband has joined a sex dating site. Should I be worried. Or is it harmless fun?? ...
A. 28 January 2012: I'd be worried.
This is not harmless fun. He is seeking out other women and making himself visible to them. ... (read in full...)
I want to combine all of our fetishes into one night. Suggestions?
Q. Me and my Gf have recentally shared with each other about our fetishes. She has a rape and bondage fetish, and i have a diaper fetish. When I found out about her fetish I was fully accepting and I'm willing to play the part to pleasure her. But wh...
A. 28 January 2012: I have to agree with marieclaire. These particular fetishes do not mix, at least not on the same night.
Your girlfriend's fantasy is to be dominated sexually and so she must see you as dominant. How is she supposed to do that while picturin... (read in full...)
Could this be abuse?
Q. Am I being abuse if when I question my husband he puts on his headphones to block me out, ignores me for days, sleeps in the other room, tells me I'm negative, threatens divorce and if I try to remove a headphone from his ear to talk to him he hits ...
A. 28 January 2012: The hitting and name calling is definitely abuse HOWEVER...
You cannot force him to listen to you and putting your hands on him (removing a headphone from his person) is very aggressive.
Without more details I am not going to pick a bad guy a... (read in full...)
I don't think I'm happy in my relationship and I don't know if its worth salvaging anymore..
Q. I don't think I'm happy in my relationship. The feeling comes and passes but ultimately I just don't feel emotionally satisfied anymore. I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year and half, we used to be engaged but I found him looking at n...
A. 26 January 2012: You've done all you can. Time to move on. If you're going to have the responsibilities of a single person you might as well be single.
He can sort himself out on his own time. ... (read in full...)
He said I'm allowed over to his house any time I want, but is it ok to just show up?
Q. This guy has given me his address and he said i am invited to his place anytime, so do you think it's ok if i just go there, without sending him a message asking if it's ok, or saying when, e.t.c ?. He only lives about a 15 minute drive away from ...
A. 26 January 2012: Never ever show up at someone's house unannounced. That is extremely rude.
He would love to have you over but it should go without saying that a heads up or an invitation is required.
... (read in full...)
My husband is against abortions but doesn't know I may be pregnant. Is it wrong to get an abortion and never tell him?
Q. How wrong would it be to have an abortion without my husband's knowledge? He is completely against abortion, but we have a 5 month old baby and I don't want anymore kids now. I misused my new birth control pills accidentally. He doesn't know that I ...
A. 26 January 2012: Before you torment yourself with this question you should first confirm you are pregnant. THEN come and talk to us. That way we're dealing in facts instead of maybes.... (read in full...)
One final meeting with the ex to talk things out?
Q. I was seeing this guy for a few months. Now that I think back, it was really unsatisfactory. I put up with a lot of crap and I was miserable but I put a good front. I mean, I was happy, but only when things seemed to be going great. So we ended it...
A. 25 January 2012: No, I don't. Sometimes there is a benefit to getting together one last time, clearing the air, finding acceptance and moving on. All too often though, people wind up in bed together or stirring up old feelings and becoming confused. The only reason ... (read in full...)
What is his problem? He disappears for days and is uncontactable.
Q. Okay so I've been seeing this guy for about 3 months now we get along well AND we understand each other perfectly were even compatible zodiac sign wise ( hes a scorpio AND I'm a Pisces ) and everything is perfect except for the fact that every ...
A. 25 January 2012: Three months isn't long at all and given the fact that he disappears or days or weeks at a time, I would definitely not call this a relationship.
Keep talking to him if you like, but consider yourself single and free to talk to others. With tha... (read in full...)
Can a woman eventually turn into a bi-sexual after an age?
Q. Can a woman eventually turn into a bi-sexual after an age? I've been with my partner for about 15 years and she's 37 years old now. She has always told me that she has hated the idea of lesbian sex. But lately she has started tell me that she only ...
A. 25 January 2012: She may not have hated the idea of lesbian sex so much as she hated the idea that it appealed to her. She sought to distance herself from it by condmening it.
Of course she may not be a lesbian or even bisexual at all. Maybe she sees fit, attracti... (read in full...)
"Feeling insecure about them Toys in the Bedroom
Q. Ok here it goes its my b-day and my man has surprised me yet again. He wants to buy a toy dildo and use it on me for HIS own pleasure. But its MY b-day im the one who should be getten Pleasured. Right? I was down for it at first.but started thinkin ...
A. 25 January 2012: This 'problem' is easily solved. Simply tell him you'd prefer he get you something else for your birthday. Pick something you want.
And as for toys in the bedroom...if you're only issue with them is shyness you could always buy a couple of thing... (read in full...)
Adam or Eve, am I being played?
Q. am i jealous, stupid, controlling, or just kidding myself loving this person? what would you do? I have dated this 30 year old Micronesian for 3 months before we decided to be official. It was nice, I planned a whole day for the to of us and the...
A. 25 January 2012: This union should have ended before you got to Red Flag #2.
'stating that she is single with three kids and asked for his telephone # so she can call him'...If there was any doubt before it, this alone should have sent you packing.
You hav... (read in full...)
Going to his house to do oral...does he like me?
Q. Hi um recently I've been talking with this guy and he is in my science class. I've known him for two years now and were friends. Not close but were friends. And recently we've gotten much closer than ever. It started over Christmas break. He texted ...
A. 24 January 2012: I wanted to give your guy friend some benefit of the doubt, but after reading Chalice's response I have to say she sums it up perfectly...
'He doesn't see you as a beautiful young woman that deserves to be honoured, cherished, loved. He sees you... (read in full...)
I want more freedom
Q. I'm a straight A honors gifted student. In the 9th grade I am taking a college course already. My parents have always been strict, but I want them to know they can trust me more than they do and that I'm a really smart girl. Whenever I bring it up ...
A. 24 January 2012: At 14 years old where would you be going out of town? How would you get there? How late would you stay out? With what friends? Doing what? I don't see myself allowing a 14 year old to go out of town unsupervised.
What you're asking may seem rea... (read in full...)
Porn woes!
Q. Looking for a male perspective; in the throes of a wonderful new relationship and I'm the happiest I've been for years. The emotional side of the relationship is perfect and the physical side the same. I'm very open-minded!! The only niggle I have ...
A. 24 January 2012: Moral outrage, not oral outrage. Typo.... (read in full...)
Porn woes!
Q. Looking for a male perspective; in the throes of a wonderful new relationship and I'm the happiest I've been for years. The emotional side of the relationship is perfect and the physical side the same. I'm very open-minded!! The only niggle I have ...
A. 24 January 2012: What exactly is your niggle with this? Is it oral outrage or are you assuming that because he watches 'MILF' porn that he somehow finds you less attractive?
You said you're happy. Your needs are being met. He says he's happy and from what you can ... (read in full...)
She wants me to have sex with someone else before we get married. What should I do?
Q. I’ll try to keep this as short as possible. It all started with “what would you do if..” questions. A few questions in, it was my turn: Me: “What’s the first thing you’d do if we broke up?” Her: “Hmm.. More girl’s nights! What’s the first ...
A. 24 January 2012: 'I smell an attempt to relieve guilt here. I think she feels that it will balance out her cheating if she lets you get some on the side too. ' YEP. I agree with that. ... (read in full...)
I found out my wife had 2 abortions and never told me. I don't know what to do now
Q. We have been together for 5 years and we got married a few months ago. Recently she got pregnant, however 6-7 weeks later, it turned out to be a miscarriage. During one of the visits at the gyn, the doctor mentioned that this is her third abortion. ...
A. 24 January 2012: Thank you for the follow up and I'm glad you have chosen to adopt a more supportive position and I wish you both the very best. However your wife has done nothing for you to forgive. It should be her forgiving you for your explosive and criticial ... (read in full...)
Going to his house to do oral...does he like me?
Q. Hi um recently I've been talking with this guy and he is in my science class. I've known him for two years now and were friends. Not close but were friends. And recently we've gotten much closer than ever. It started over Christmas break. He texted ...
A. 24 January 2012: It is far too soon to be declaring love and planning oral sex dates. He's obviously interested in you, but getting sexual at this point will encourage him to be interested in only that.
If he likes you that much he can take you out on a real dat... (read in full...)
Questions about a large life insurance policy! Any advice?
Q. My boyfriend of two years was thinking about Marriage and he wants to set up an insurance policy of one million on my name so that he said, that if he pass away (God forbid) I will have money to start with. Should I agree with this? That this kind ...
A. 23 January 2012: If the policy is in your name it means HE collects the million if YOU die. Not the other way round. Any payout would either go to the beneficiary (him if he is listed as one) or become part of your estate.
He may own property but that is no guara... (read in full...)
Did I overreact to my boyfriend touching another woman?
Q. Last night, my boyfriend and I went to a function at a bar where I didn't know anyone, but he knew a lot of the people. At one point, I came back from the bathroom and some girl he knows was sitting in my stool at the bar and they were talking. ...
A. 23 January 2012: You're very welcome... (read in full...)
Has he hidden his profile or is something going on?
Q. Okay this is complicated. I've been dating a guy I met on RSVP. We actually met for the first time yesterday and it was great! the day ended with a hug and a kiss!! and he made so many hints about seeing each other again. about me going to visit hi...
A. 22 January 2012: I agree with most of what Kyle007 says. Do NOT ask him if he wants to continue with you or keep looking. It is way too soon for that. You've only met each other once so you can't possibly know if this will blossom into a long term union.
Both ... (read in full...)
Did I overreact to my boyfriend touching another woman?
Q. Last night, my boyfriend and I went to a function at a bar where I didn't know anyone, but he knew a lot of the people. At one point, I came back from the bathroom and some girl he knows was sitting in my stool at the bar and they were talking. ...
A. 22 January 2012: It sounds like your boyfriend meant no harm, but I might not like it either. Your reaction wasn't explosive or anything but I agree with your boyfriend in that the matter was settled at the bar. It really didn't need to be dug up and discected at 2 ... (read in full...)
I am in love with my ex. Ex who broke my heart now wants to be friends. What do I do?
Q. I'm in love with my ex. We broke up 5 Months ago after 8 months together and he did it by text after I caught him online cheating and told him to get out of my apartment. He answered that with a "have a good life. Move on" text and would t answ...
A. 21 January 2012: He cheated on you and was caught. It should have been him begging you for forgiveness not you chasing him to have an adult conversation.
He apologised. Good. That doesn't mean you hang out with him for seven hours. That sends the wrong message.... (read in full...)
Why are more guys choosing to father children in their 60s?
Q. This seems to be a growing trend especially with celebrities. E.g Alexander Skarsgard's dad having a second child, with his second wife. He is in his 60s. Even though he has adult children already. Why do people do this? Don't they want to enjoy ...
A. 21 January 2012: More often than not his first wife raised his older children and the new wife will raise the second brood so he'll be enjoying his retirement just fine. ... (read in full...)
I talk regularly to an ex, but he never told me he got married. Now he wants FWB with me. What do I do?
Q. I need some advice, I dated my boyfriend for 4 years, I am still in love with him but,we broke up in 2009 and every now and then I email him just to say "HI'. My friend told me he recently (2010) got married, I was shocked. I asked him if he was ...
A. 21 January 2012: Sex only.
He didn't marry you, he isn't leaving his wife for you and he isn't the one sending you emails out of the blue just to say 'hi'.
Pay him back the money he loaned you and don't send him any more emails. ... (read in full...)
I'm engaged, but still in love with my ex who has got back in touch and wants to see me! Help!
Q. I'm in love with and engaged to a wonderful man. He is everything and more that I've ever wanted in a partner. It would take me centuries to share how amazing he is and how he worships the ground that my children and I walk on. But there's a problem ...
A. 18 January 2012: As you have heard about the changes in his life, he has undoubtedly heard about the changes in yours. He has to have learned from others how happy you are and how wonderful your fiance is. A better man would not create conflict where there was ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says the mark on his neck is a bruise. I say it's a love bite.
Q. Thanks in advance for your answers! Last night I noticed what looks like a lovebite on my boyfriends neck. When I mentioned it he said it must be a 'bruise'. Since when do love bites look like bruises? When I tried to bring it up again he got angry, ...
A. 18 January 2012: A love bite is a bruise so you're both right. I like Ampersaud's suggestion. ... (read in full...)
Help, my boyfriend acts like a child...should I dump him?
Q. me and my fiance were together for 3 years...we have been having alot of issues lately..he brings out the worst in me it seems..we havent spent a actual weekend together lately bc he gets on my nerves and when i dont give him attention he gets in my ...
A. 18 January 2012: I got about halfway through your post and I couldn't take anymore. Dump him. Dump him now. Don't wait for the 'right moment'. Don't even bother waiting to do it in person. In fact it's probably better if you don't do it in person because he'll just ... (read in full...)
He is focussed on how lonely he is
Q. Dear Cupid, What's the best reply to a man that says he's lonely. We've just started dating and he says that he can't live life alone. I used to live in this romantic town in Spain and after I had left he visited the same town, he told me that he ...
A. 18 January 2012: Depending on the tone if he'd said it just the once I would think he was just candid. You told us he 'mentions' meaning he's said it a few times (adding a fatalistic 'I can't live alone'). If that is so then I think it a bad sign. Bored, clingy, ... (read in full...)
He and his wife are separated but he's in no hurry to obtain a divorce
Q. I met a man 6 months ago. I knew he was still married. His wife left him after an injury a year and a half ago and is involved with another man. This has been the best 6 monthd of my life. I have been single for a couple of years with two young gi...
A. 17 January 2012: I agree with worldlywise. He has a number of other things on his plate, not the least of which is medical testing. Even the most straightfoward divorce can be cumbersome and that is the reason for his delay, in my opinion. It's possible, but ... (read in full...)
If he doesn't want to try again I at least want my stuff back
Q. I'm still deeply in love with my ex, we broke up last October. He lives pretty far away so I never drove over there to go pick up my things. I have a few things I left at his house that have sentimental value to me, but they have absolutely no value ...
A. 17 January 2012: You're very welcome. I'm sure everything will work out fine in the end.
Sorry to hear about your dad.
Thank you for the follow up.... (read in full...)
Does he deserve a second chance after he lied about wearing a condom?
Q. I have been dating this guy for a couple of months. He's nice to me, although he has a bit of a problem telling the truth. He does not like wearing protection as he says he doesn't feel anything and the rubber irritates him. I finally agreed t...
A. 17 January 2012: Agreed. No second chances for this one. ... (read in full...)
He wanted sex. I had my period. Finally I agreed to do it, as I was horny. But it all ended badly, with him freaking out. Was his reaction excessive disgust?
Q. This may gross some people out with I need some honest opinions... I have a fwb and we have sex on a regular basis. Well the other night he came over and I was on my period (a very light one) so I declined sex and just gave him head. Well the ...
A. 17 January 2012: Sex during menstruation isn't everyone's cup of tea, but to describe his reaction as immature and over the top is an understatement. It's beyond the pale. He doesn't deserve a second chance. Not even an apology...just an assurance that everything ... (read in full...)
If he doesn't want to try again I at least want my stuff back
Q. I'm still deeply in love with my ex, we broke up last October. He lives pretty far away so I never drove over there to go pick up my things. I have a few things I left at his house that have sentimental value to me, but they have absolutely no value ...
A. 17 January 2012: He may have feelings for you but I doubt that is the motive behind his hesitation. Property exchanges can be dramatic as they are symbolic of the end and they tend to stir up emotions. He may be trying to avoid a scene.
What you could do is tell ... (read in full...)
We were planning to move in together and then he texted he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore!
Q. Hi Everyone, I've been in a relationship with this guy now for four months. We seem to understand each other from the very start. Our chemistry is like crazy when we are around one another. We fell in love pretty fast( too fast for me). He seem lik...
A. 17 January 2012: Four months is rather soon to be moving in together and like you he probably thought things were good, but moving too quickly. That is understandable. How he chose to handle it was cowardly.
Personally, I could never trust the man again so getti... (read in full...)
A male virgin and a much younger and more experienced girl - potential humiliation or a great opportunity?
Q. Hello! This isn't the first time I've asked a question that is in some way related to this topic, but I hope it will be the last! First, some important background information. Somehow I have managed to get to the grand old age of 27 while re...
A. 17 January 2012: The way you think is not the issue. It's the volume of time spent doing it. You're over thinking it.
ONE film about a 40 year old virgin. ONE.
... (read in full...)
I found out my wife had 2 abortions and never told me. I don't know what to do now
Q. We have been together for 5 years and we got married a few months ago. Recently she got pregnant, however 6-7 weeks later, it turned out to be a miscarriage. During one of the visits at the gyn, the doctor mentioned that this is her third abortion. ...
A. 16 January 2012: A miscarriage is also referred to as a 'spontaneous abortion' and the fact that her doctor referred to this as her third one suggests the others might have been as well.
When she apologises and says she didn't want to relive the trauma does she... (read in full...)
A male virgin and a much younger and more experienced girl - potential humiliation or a great opportunity?
Q. Hello! This isn't the first time I've asked a question that is in some way related to this topic, but I hope it will be the last! First, some important background information. Somehow I have managed to get to the grand old age of 27 while re...
A. 16 January 2012: I appreciate that this is a big step for you and it deserves serious consideration, but the reason you remain a virgin is becoming more and more evident the longer this thread continues.
The time you spend here, typing, analysing, turning ... (read in full...)
Am I too available to this guy? I feel after 3 years he is too comfortable and playing games!
Q. Hey everyone! I need some advice When we first started dating, of course, my boyfriend was very romantic and did lots of sweet things for me. He liked being affectionate and sending me little love notes - and he did, ALL THE TIME. Then we began to...
A. 16 January 2012: I can't guarantee it obviously, but yes, I do think if you re directed some of your energy toward bettering your own life (while still being warm and affectionate when with him of course) there is a very good chance it would re-ignite his interest ... (read in full...)
Do people believe in friendships without immediate financial benefits anymore?
Q. Broke people get lonely too. And this economy ain't looking up very soon. Do people believe in friendships without immediate financial benefits anymore. I'm by no means lazy or any of that. I' a hard working type guy . Any advice please? ...
A. 16 January 2012: We'd be happy to give you advice, but you haven't given us much to go on. Obviously something has happened to you that has prompted you to ask. It would be helpful if you gave us a brief summary of the events instead of a vague, general question. ... (read in full...)
He is focussed on how lonely he is
Q. Dear Cupid, What's the best reply to a man that says he's lonely. We've just started dating and he says that he can't live life alone. I used to live in this romantic town in Spain and after I had left he visited the same town, he told me that he ...
A. 15 January 2012: I'm inclined to agree with the anonymous female poster below. You've only just started dating and he's already talking like this? That is a very bad sign and if I were you I'd be distancing myself from him. Joining a gym, taking a class ... (read in full...)
Am I too available to this guy? I feel after 3 years he is too comfortable and playing games!
Q. Hey everyone! I need some advice When we first started dating, of course, my boyfriend was very romantic and did lots of sweet things for me. He liked being affectionate and sending me little love notes - and he did, ALL THE TIME. Then we began to...
A. 12 January 2012: We tend to treat people the way we want or expect them to treat us. So your boyfriend can't be blamed for suspecting a dual agenda behind your cute little messages 'meant to brighten his day'. Like your boyfriend, I am not overly demonstrative ei... (read in full...)
A male virgin and a much younger and more experienced girl - potential humiliation or a great opportunity?
Q. Hello! This isn't the first time I've asked a question that is in some way related to this topic, but I hope it will be the last! First, some important background information. Somehow I have managed to get to the grand old age of 27 while re...
A. 8 January 2012: Her age, the fact that she is a work colleague and you haven't known her very long make her a pretty big risk and I suggest you either take a pass, or take it very, very slowly and really get to know her.
That's not to say that all office romances... (read in full...)
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