Is he interested or just being polite after weeks of silence?
Q. A quick question for you all: Hadn't heard from this guy I had a crush on, in 5 weeks, then all of a sudden I get a beautifully worded text. All it did was apologise for the lack of contact, he had been very busy and asked how things were with...
A. 26 November 2012: Your follow up wasn't flagged as having come from the OP so I didn't realise there had been a follow up until i was going through old posts. Hence my delay in responding.
'Let's get lunch soon' sounds a bit non commital to me so I would respond ... (read in full...)
If I say anything now it would destroy him? I do have a past from a LONG time ago. But is it best left unsaid?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about a year now. When we first got to know each other we spoke about our past a little and he wanted to see what kind of person I was. I knew where he stood with his past and he has only had sexual relations...
A. 19 October 2012: Anonymous male, you're right that we don't get to tell other people what they can think or how they get to feel about what we do, and neither the OP, nor anyone else here has suggested otherwise, but we absoloutely DO have the right to decide what ... (read in full...)
If I say anything now it would destroy him? I do have a past from a LONG time ago. But is it best left unsaid?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about a year now. When we first got to know each other we spoke about our past a little and he wanted to see what kind of person I was. I knew where he stood with his past and he has only had sexual relations...
A. 18 October 2012: 'For him he has always had to at least like the person before considering sleeping with them, and all those he has been with he developed a relationship with'
So in fact he has had sex with people he barely knew. It just so happened that a relati... (read in full...)
Should I force myself to move out while healing from an abusive relationship or wait?
Q. Should I force myself to move out on my own in midst of healing from a horrible, abusive relationship I had been in for years, or wait a bit longer? I need your advice! I am 24 years old and currently healing from an extremely abusive relation...
A. 17 October 2012: Stay with your parents a while longer. They're your support system (spiritual/emotional support).
Give yourself time to heal and build confidence before venturing out on your own.
Your ex's opinion is worthless. You already know he's a bad ... (read in full...)
He says he misses me but doesn't make an effort to see me
Q. We used to hang out often now it's once a week or so. I tried to make plans for us to hang out he says yea if I'm awake? So I just made other plans bc it didn't sound to me that he didn't want to.. Then he says he does want to see me and he sure ...
A. 17 October 2012: Not very much information to go on.
Is this your boyfriend or a friend? If it's a friend, then once a week is actually quite a lot.
How long has this been going on? Have there been any changes in his life lately? New job, longer hours etc... (read in full...)
Is he interested or just being polite after weeks of silence?
Q. A quick question for you all: Hadn't heard from this guy I had a crush on, in 5 weeks, then all of a sudden I get a beautifully worded text. All it did was apologise for the lack of contact, he had been very busy and asked how things were with...
A. 16 October 2012: There is nothing wrong with asking about his job and answering his questions. That's what normal conversations look like in polite society. I did recommend you be pleasant enough that he felt comfortable contacting you again and to sound busy and ... (read in full...)
Is he interested or just being polite after weeks of silence?
Q. A quick question for you all: Hadn't heard from this guy I had a crush on, in 5 weeks, then all of a sudden I get a beautifully worded text. All it did was apologise for the lack of contact, he had been very busy and asked how things were with...
A. 14 October 2012: 'Left guessing' as in him doing the chasing. I don't mean string the guy along, but don't make her interest so apparant that he can string her along either. ... (read in full...)
I don’t think I can ever respect another woman again.
Q. Right now my brain is the midst of a battle...Why? It’s because I’m somehow beginning to see women in a completely different light than I did before. Long story short, Wednesday at work, the topic of women came up. In my office there are 3 guys and...
A. 13 October 2012: Personally, I think those types of questions ('who is prettier') are childish. I don't ask them and as far as I know no one in my circle of friends and family does either. However...
It's interesting to note that in the scenarios you've describe... (read in full...)
Should I dump my boyfriend over this Facebook stuff and his lies?
Q. My Boyfriend wanted me to delete all the male friends on my fb account. I grew up with these guys and most of them are married it is nothing sexual. But to please him I just deleted my account . That made him mad because he said I should have ju...
A. 13 October 2012: Insisting you delete any friends, could be a red flag depending upon the circumstances. Doing that while keeping women with whom he has a sexual history on his is a deal breaker with no further explanation necessary. Lying about deleting his acount ... (read in full...)
Since I started uni I've really started resenting my boyfriend. Is it just the transition, or more than that?
Q. So, I've just started university a few weeks ago and it's turned my life upside down. I'd say I'm sad and it's all too much, but in a sense I feel like rather than turning my life on its head, it's simply brought more things into clear light for ...
A. 13 October 2012: I think you summed it up it your opening and closing paragraphs. You're seeing things more clearly and you realise you can't be your true self with your boyfriend.
His unrepentant cheating, continued friendship with the woman he cheated with, hi... (read in full...)
Is he interested or just being polite after weeks of silence?
Q. A quick question for you all: Hadn't heard from this guy I had a crush on, in 5 weeks, then all of a sudden I get a beautifully worded text. All it did was apologise for the lack of contact, he had been very busy and asked how things were with...
A. 13 October 2012: Your incessant flirting has made it clear to him exactly how you feel. Most people are busy and BondGirl is right, sending a text takes seconds. If he were that keen on you and didn't know where he stood he would have made a point of contacting ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend keeps texting me for sex!
Q. My ex boyfriend got dumped by his girlfriend now he keeps texting me asking for sex and it is really annoying me and my boyfriend now! I am ignoring him but he just isn't getting the picture, if I don't reply he gets a little abusive in the text...
A. 13 October 2012: You could change your phone number and only give it to those who are closest to you, whom you trust not to give it out.
You could also change your Facebook settings so that only friends can see or contact you.
It may take a while but eventu... (read in full...)
Can you date one person and not be boyfriend/girlfriend?
Q. I've been a serial monogamist. 3 years, 2 year, 1 and 1/2 year relationship. I've never really "dated" multiple people at once. Call me Old fashioned - but it seems disloyal. Am I wrong? Within the last 3 months, I started dating for the first...
A. 10 October 2012: Not a class act that one. Better it happen now than several months from now. Better still not at all.
... (read in full...)
Can you date one person and not be boyfriend/girlfriend?
Q. I've been a serial monogamist. 3 years, 2 year, 1 and 1/2 year relationship. I've never really "dated" multiple people at once. Call me Old fashioned - but it seems disloyal. Am I wrong? Within the last 3 months, I started dating for the first...
A. 10 October 2012: I almost forgot about your last comment. Five weeks is a bit soon in my opinion to start calling it a relationship. His reaction though is a bit over the top. Not very mature.... (read in full...)
Can you date one person and not be boyfriend/girlfriend?
Q. I've been a serial monogamist. 3 years, 2 year, 1 and 1/2 year relationship. I've never really "dated" multiple people at once. Call me Old fashioned - but it seems disloyal. Am I wrong? Within the last 3 months, I started dating for the first...
A. 10 October 2012: I think it is fine to date other people until you've decided on the one you want to devote your time and effort to. I don't like the idea of having dibbs on someone you're still making your mind up about. By 'date' I mean actually GO OUT ... (read in full...)
My Gf claims she had relations with a woman and guy just watched. How can I tell if she is telling the truth about this?
Q. My GF told me she was intimate with another woman when we were first dating casually. She said it was set up by a guy friend she met online and casually dated, but was never interested in. The other woman was also a friend of this guy and met him ...
A. 10 October 2012: Actually her account does sound plausible. Not everyone is an active participant in a group encounter. And I've heard (and read of) many men talk of watching two women 'going at it'. It is very common for the guy to sit back and enjoy a free show. ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to send him one last text asking what happenend?
Q. I started dating a guy about a month ago. It seemed like he was very into me. He told me he was excited to have me in his life. He would text me good morning every day and send me texts throughout the day and at night he would text me good night. ...
A. 10 October 2012: I'm with doublejack on this one. When something blossoms that fast it tends to fizzel out just as quickly. I would not send another text or make any attempt to contact him. You've already sent one. If there was some emergency, he can get back to ... (read in full...)
She's separated and available..do I act on it?
Q. A good friend of mine separated from her husband two months ago. They have been married two years, and together for about three years before that. There was nobody else involved in the breakup, it just didn't work out. It was essentially my friend's ...
A. 7 October 2012: Two months is too soon. And she might not appreciate your friendship and support if she suspects you have an agenda.
As you're already aware she will need some time on her own. Even if she was dancing the jig the moment they parted ways, she stil... (read in full...)
I don't want to be with cheating b/f let alone have sex with him!
Q. My bf has stepped out on me, more than once, and engaged in sexual activity with these women. I’ve attempted to leave the relationship, but he refuses to let me go, telling me that I am the one he really loves and wants to be with and wants a ...
A. 7 October 2012: He refuses to let you go? What does that look like? Did he chain you up in his basement? Tie you to a kitchen chair?
I don't mean to be facetious here, OP, but once you break up with someone the relationship is over, whether they accept it or no... (read in full...)
When would be the right time to tell my students that I am pregnant?
Q. I'm a 29 year-old woman and I recently found out that I am expecting. I'm a teacher, so is my husband, and we work at the same high school. We've been married for 15 months. I'm fairly skinny and I'm about 6 weeks pregnant. I haven't starting ...
A. 7 October 2012: What kind of rumours? Being married and pregnant is perfectly normal. ... (read in full...)
When would be the right time to tell my students that I am pregnant?
Q. I'm a 29 year-old woman and I recently found out that I am expecting. I'm a teacher, so is my husband, and we work at the same high school. We've been married for 15 months. I'm fairly skinny and I'm about 6 weeks pregnant. I haven't starting ...
A. 7 October 2012: I would wait but only until the prenancy is well established. This is a natural part of life and your students are not going to be traumatized by it. We weren't when our teachers became pregnant.
You could run it by the head of the school, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of four years is becoming more racist by the day and its driving me mental.
Q. My boyfriend of four years is becoming more racist by the day and its driving me mental. When I first met him he had virtually no interest in religion and if I had known then how much he would change I would never have gone out with him. Now we h...
A. 6 October 2012: Do you agree with every opinion your parents ever expressed while you were growing up? Of course not. You weren't a mindless sponge. Neither are you kids. And opinions change with age and maturity. Your job, as their mother, is not to shield th... (read in full...)
How can I safely cut my addiction to (well known brand) coffee and become healthier?
Q. I attend university classes 4 days a week. On those days I wake up at about 8:30am. I always grab a tall cup of X Brand Coffee. I have always limited myself to the "tall" size and I only drink latte, mocha, frappuccino, or black tea latte, all of w...
A. 6 October 2012: All things in moderation (well maybe not ALL things) is a pretty good rule of thumb to live by.
There is no reason to cut out your coffee intake entirely, but cut down. If you eat well, exercise and live a happy, simple life, I don't see why you ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants a threesome and I don't think
Q. My boyfriend wants a threesome!! Mature answers pls? My boyfriend is 27 I'm 23 we've been together over 3 years. He keeps bringing up threesomes for years ( as he has never had one)and today over the phone (I'm overseas for 7 wks) he was talking a...
A. 6 October 2012: I have to laugh when a man badgers his wife or girlfriend for a threesome yet claims she is enough for him. If this were true he wouldn't want someone else, would he?
Yes, it often does ruin that special part of a relationship, but in your cas... (read in full...)
My fiancé wants us to watch "barely legal" porn while having sex. He says we can learn something from it. Does this sound right to you?
Q. My fiance told me that we may "learn something" from watching porn together in bed before and during sex. The porn he has always watches though is Barely Legal porn tapes of very young women and men just out of high school. To me that is not "lea...
A. 6 October 2012: 'Learning' is just the line he gives so he can watch porn. And barely legal videos is the closet he'll get to having sex with teenage girls without being arrested and labelled a paedophile.
What is there to learn? And why only a very specific... (read in full...)
What is right? My wife is saying she has no problem if one of our unmarried daughters chooses to have sex in our home with a Bf. The thought bothers me.
Q. I have kids. In particular, I have daughters. And in particular I have a daughter who is 19. She took a year off after high school and travelled the world. Now she's back home and is trying her hand at university. OK, so she's "of age", so if ...
A. 5 October 2012: Prohibiting your daughter from having sex in your home is not condemning her to something worse.
Most of us were not allowed either and that just meant we had it less often. Neither I, nor anyone I knew wound up in a seedy motel (we went to decen... (read in full...)
Struggling to forget the threesome she had in the past....
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 7 months now and we are still and I hope will always be together. I actually am wanting to marry her some day. In the beginning through general conversion we found out something about each other such ...
A. 4 October 2012: Yes, she does seem evasive about the threesome and no, I don't believe she forgot all the details either, unless she was extremely drunk or on something during it. That likely isn't the case as she would have immediately seized it as an excuse not ... (read in full...)
How do I approach the trainer at my gym without looking desperate?
Q. How do I approach him? Will I look desperate if I do? This guy (trainer) at my gym is so cute. He's friendly to everyone and talks to everyone but me:(!! He's always looking at me. He's always in a place where I can see him and he c...
A. 4 October 2012: I would definitely NOT tell him he has a nice smile, to smile more, that he looks sexy (especially not that), or that you don't bite unless he wants you to. To put it bluntly, those lines are very cheesy, very forward and not original.
Right... (read in full...)
We recently gave our virginity to each other but my boyfriend wants to wait before having sex again
Q. Hello everyone, My boyfriend and I (we are both 24) recently lost our virginity to each other. We talked about it together vaguely for about 2 months before, and seriously for about a month before we had sex. We have been seeing each other for a...
A. 4 October 2012: I have to agree with you. It is highly, highly unlikely that your relationship is in any kind of jeopardy. What your boyfriend says he feels is actually quite normal and the fact that he was candid about it is a good sign.
I don't think you need... (read in full...)
He's my ex and now he's married. So is he just looking for a booty call with me? Based on his actions?
Q. My ex dumped me a few years back. We were together a long time. It got really bad at the end. He ended up getting a restraining order against me because i would follow him, (not proud of that). Anyway, we bumped into each other last year. It was n...
A. 4 October 2012: I don't think he is deliberately trying to set you up or hurt you. I mean that he is too focussed on what might be good for him to consider the harm it may cause you (or his wife) down the road. ... (read in full...)
How can I change my boyfriend's mind about my dogs and convince him they aren't vicious? He wants me to get rid of them!
Q. Help me please! My boyfriend wants me to get rid of my dogs! My dad is a police dog trainer, and ever since i was a kid i've been used to having big dogs. I live on my own and i have two grown rottweilers and just adopted a pitbull puppy. I have ...
A. 4 October 2012: I can understand your boyfriend's fear of those dogs, but it is unreasonable of him to demand you get rid of them, especially if he doesn't live with you. You are obviously fond of them, they mean a great deal to you and to part with them would ... (read in full...)
Are these signs that my sex buddy is falling for me? I don't want her to get hurt.
Q. So here is the deal: I met this really hot girl, she happened to like me back. She told me straight up she has no interest in relationship and so we started meeting to have some amazing (and I mean it) sex. Now, I should be happy with this arra...
A. 4 October 2012: It doesn't sound to me as though your FWB is falling for you. The cuddling afterward is just post coital bliss and when that fades, she wants her space, until the next time. Nope, doesn't sound like a crush to me.
And to address your friend's... (read in full...)
He's my ex and now he's married. So is he just looking for a booty call with me? Based on his actions?
Q. My ex dumped me a few years back. We were together a long time. It got really bad at the end. He ended up getting a restraining order against me because i would follow him, (not proud of that). Anyway, we bumped into each other last year. It was n...
A. 4 October 2012: The others are right, but I like Honeypie's answer in particular. She sums it up and I think she's dead on. His wife checks his phone because she has reason not to trust him. If she doesn't then why should you? He has undoubtedly told her ab... (read in full...)
My younger brother seems to be cyber stalking girls, what do I do?
Q. Hello i dont know what to do with this. i was on my phone yesterday and my brother had used it earlier and gone on his facebook when i got it back it was still logged in and i know that he can be very immature with his friends so i looked at his ...
A. 4 October 2012: I guess I'm the odd one out here, but I would not dismiss this as normal boyish behaviour. There is nothing normal about what he's doing. Frankly I'm a bit surprised at the answers you've received so far. Whenever a man mistreats a woman we're al... (read in full...)
My LDR has just told me he has met someone new and intends to marry her. Why am I so emotional over this change?
Q. My long distance boy friend has confirmed to me today that he has a new woman in his life and he may marry her. Why am I so sad and crying? Please help me. I am an adult and should know better than getting emotional. he wants me to write to h...
A. 4 October 2012: Sharing those kinds of feelings is an intimate thing and he is no longer entitled to that kind of intimacy or the reassurance. Don't write to him. Just delete and block him. Leave him wondering.
There is nothing un-adult about having feelings... (read in full...)
Is he using me? We never date, just have sex in the woods!
Q. Iv been seeing this guy for 2 months now and we meet up once a week, he seems nice but he never takes me out on a proper date. We only meet up for sex or heavy petting. He doesn't book a room up, we do it in the woods, Im feeling a bit used. He does ...
A. 3 October 2012: Of course he sensed it. Any sane person would know it's only a matter of time before the free ride is over.
Notice how devastated he is (and notice how sarcastic I'm being). He sensed you wanted no contact and like the great guy he is he's gra... (read in full...)
My Boss is a farewell next week. We don't click socially and I am not part of her clique. Should I attend or not?
Q. My boss is leaving for 1 year next week.I dont work with her much but see her at shift change at times. We are similiar in age, but are VERY differerent, shes outgoing AND popular, esp amongst the 20 somethings at work. Im a quieter person, w...
A. 3 October 2012: I agree with the others. There is no harm in going and it may actually do some good. There will be plenty of other people there so you don't have to spend one on one time with her.
She might actually appreciate the effort and be a little more fri... (read in full...)
What is right? My wife is saying she has no problem if one of our unmarried daughters chooses to have sex in our home with a Bf. The thought bothers me.
Q. I have kids. In particular, I have daughters. And in particular I have a daughter who is 19. She took a year off after high school and travelled the world. Now she's back home and is trying her hand at university. OK, so she's "of age", so if ...
A. 3 October 2012: Coming of age comes with responsibilities and as long as your 19 year old daughter is living in your home and especially if she is being supported by you then you have every right to decline this request.
While some parents have a more 'relaxed... (read in full...)
Is he using me? We never date, just have sex in the woods!
Q. Iv been seeing this guy for 2 months now and we meet up once a week, he seems nice but he never takes me out on a proper date. We only meet up for sex or heavy petting. He doesn't book a room up, we do it in the woods, Im feeling a bit used. He does ...
A. 3 October 2012: Not only is he using you, but he's also hiding you. For some reason he doesn't want anyone to know of his association with you.
Honestly, I would not waste time or breath having a discussion with him about this. Delete and block him. He's a grown ... (read in full...)
My husband contributes and so does my Mom. Is my boyfriend contributing enough to live most of the time in my home?
Q. I've been separated from my husband for over 2 years. I have a boyfriend and we have been dating for 2 years. I live in a house with my three sons and my Mother. My ex husband presently pays $3500 per month for the mortgage and taxes He also gi...
A. 3 October 2012: Your boyfriend spends a total of about $750, PLUS he pays for all of your entertainment and handles all the household maintenance.
Out of everyone there, excluding the kids, I'd say YOU had it made. ... (read in full...)
Planning to try new things in our sex life, but how can I feel more confident?
Q. So I posted about really liking my FWB and we have had an open chat about what we both want and we're going to stick with each other which has made me really happy. But now he wants to take things a lot further, not relationship, but more erotic ...
A. 3 October 2012: Ok, that's better then. ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to not say "Yes" straight away to a propasal?
Q. I have been dating a guy for some time, but we live on both parts of the world (Australia and America), I have plans to move up next year, get a job, place to live and work hard at it. I have asked him for marriage before, and he said yes but only...
A. 3 October 2012: Yes, it is normal. Not that everyone needs a lot of time to think about it, but many do. This is a big decision with life altering consequences so take all the time you need.
He might be fond of you but his reasons for marriage may be the same... (read in full...)
20 girls and not one accepted his offer of a date
Q. A sociable guy of age 23-24 for 3-6 months approached upto 20 girls fo date and not even one accep him! What might be the reasons and what is the posible solution? The guy is tall, handsome, sociable and humble. Ur a advice will be of help tan...
A. 3 October 2012: Very little information to go on here.
How exactly did he approach these women? And where? What did he suggest as a first date?
What type of women were they? Shy, sheltered women or more worldly and outgoing? Did he approach them individuall... (read in full...)
Planning to try new things in our sex life, but how can I feel more confident?
Q. So I posted about really liking my FWB and we have had an open chat about what we both want and we're going to stick with each other which has made me really happy. But now he wants to take things a lot further, not relationship, but more erotic ...
A. 3 October 2012: Hang on a minute...you will take 'the role' first to prove your trust? You mean you will allow him to restrain you first to prove to him that you trust him?
That is NOT how it works, my dear. If he wants to play with handcuffs that badly, HE can b... (read in full...)
Planning to try new things in our sex life, but how can I feel more confident?
Q. So I posted about really liking my FWB and we have had an open chat about what we both want and we're going to stick with each other which has made me really happy. But now he wants to take things a lot further, not relationship, but more erotic ...
A. 2 October 2012: Before I answer this question, how long have you know this friend with benefits and when did you become involved with him? How often do you see him and when you do, do you always have sex? How old is he? What, if any, experience does he claim to ... (read in full...)
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