My bf wants pics of me should I send them?
Q. Hi Recently my bf asked me to send pics of myself in underwear I love him and trust him and I want to do it... its not I don't feel comfortable with it and he said if I don't want to do it its fine but I don't want him thinking I am some kind...
A. 17 December 2012: I'm very glad you've opted not to send them. A very wise choice and kudos to you for making it.
In fairness to those of us who expressed concern, your boyfriend may be a great guy, but even good people do bad or unwise things some of the time. Se... (read in full...)
I want my mom to know that I'm sexually active
Q. Hi I have a little bit of a dilemma... I am 16, nearly 17 and am sexually active (I live in the UK) I have been with my boyfriend with 10 months and we have only ever had sex with eachother and we only did it after about 7 months.We did it...
A. 17 December 2012: If my original response is one of those you were referring to in your 'different morals' follow up then you've misunderstood me.
I did not state or imply that you had done anything wrong, merely that you had done something that, accordin... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has stood me up 4 times in the past 3 weeks.
Q. I need some outside advice... We've dated for over 2 years now. My girlfriend has stood me up 4 times in the past 3 weeks. Each time, she had what sounds and feels like a reasonable excuse why it happened. First time, she had fallen asle...
A. 16 December 2012: Ok, hold on a minute here...did I understand correctly that she doesn't actually cancel a date, she just doesn't show up? And you find out some time AFTER the fact that some kind of emergency has arisen?
If that's so, then that changes things. ... (read in full...)
The only way he'll let me break up with him is if I tell him the truth!
Q. So im kind of stuck in a pickle. what do you do when you dont want to hurt someones feelings, break them by telling them the truth ? That after 4 years of dating you went away alone for acouple months and in just 3 months felt happier with someone ...
A. 16 December 2012: That follow up was unnecessary. It was way too long, I didn't read it and it doesn't change my answer. The bottom line remains the same. once one person says it's over, it's over. Birthday or no birthday. Period.
There is no way not to hurt or ... (read in full...)
Now I'm being punished for what goes on in her mind only!
Q. For the past two years or so, my girlfriends insecurity has got worse and worse. I am constantly told who I am looking at, who I find attractive and told I am flirting with everyone she believes I find attractive. I have put up with a lot. I now ...
A. 13 December 2012: Yes, I've heard of people dong this. I believe it's called a honey trap.
Whether she was merely there trying to catch you or seeking out mn herself, the bottom line remains the same. She is a malignant personality. She's controlling, manipula... (read in full...)
I want my mom to know that I'm sexually active
Q. Hi I have a little bit of a dilemma... I am 16, nearly 17 and am sexually active (I live in the UK) I have been with my boyfriend with 10 months and we have only ever had sex with eachother and we only did it after about 7 months.We did it...
A. 13 December 2012: As a mother myself I have to agree with Cerberus in that often times, mothers know. I certainly did when my daughter was active.
You're right that honesty is an important part of a healthy relationship, but so is judicious ommission. Knowing ... (read in full...)
Now I'm being punished for what goes on in her mind only!
Q. For the past two years or so, my girlfriends insecurity has got worse and worse. I am constantly told who I am looking at, who I find attractive and told I am flirting with everyone she believes I find attractive. I have put up with a lot. I now ...
A. 13 December 2012: Is there any point in trying? You've already tried, several times. It doesn't appear to have worked so no, I don't think there is a point in trying again. Something you must understand about these 'trust issues' is they are simply a means of tryin... (read in full...)
Was it wrong of me to tell my boyfriend to touch another part of my body as I don't enjoy him fingering me?
Q. Sex Question: I have been with my boyfriend for about two years and we have a great sex life. The one thing that I do not really like is when he fingers me. Everything else is great,but I feel like he can be a bit to aggressive in that department ...
A. 13 December 2012: You did nothing wrong. If your boyfriend doesn't want to feel shut down then he should stop doing things he knows you don't like. It's as simple as that. Gently redirecting his hand was a perfectly acceptable way of non verbally communicating wi... (read in full...)
Why did he change his relationship status and then go back and change it again the same day?
Q. Why would my friend change his FB status to engaged and then change it back to in a relationship two hours later??? Haven't asked him yet but curious about what you guys think. Doesn't this strike you as being very strange? How can you make that ...
A. 13 December 2012: No, I don't think I was being harsh. And yes, we are curious about some of the things that others do and what goes on around us, but some of those things are so insignificant that they barely merit a passing thought. The fact that someone would take ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has stood me up 4 times in the past 3 weeks.
Q. I need some outside advice... We've dated for over 2 years now. My girlfriend has stood me up 4 times in the past 3 weeks. Each time, she had what sounds and feels like a reasonable excuse why it happened. First time, she had fallen asle...
A. 13 December 2012: 'Having the support of people who love you is a great way to relieve some of that stress'. It certainly is. So what does this support look like exactly? And in what ways have you provided it? I mean real support, not simply spending time with her ... (read in full...)
The only way he'll let me break up with him is if I tell him the truth!
Q. So im kind of stuck in a pickle. what do you do when you dont want to hurt someones feelings, break them by telling them the truth ? That after 4 years of dating you went away alone for acouple months and in just 3 months felt happier with someone ...
A. 13 December 2012: Huh? You can't break up with him until he says so? How exactly does that work? The fact is once one person says it's over, it's over. That's it. They don't need to provide umpteen mind numbingly detailed explanations. The dumpee does no have to ... (read in full...)
Why did he change his relationship status and then go back and change it again the same day?
Q. Why would my friend change his FB status to engaged and then change it back to in a relationship two hours later??? Haven't asked him yet but curious about what you guys think. Doesn't this strike you as being very strange? How can you make that ...
A. 13 December 2012: This is what keeps you up at night? I'm assuming this friend is not your fiance, correct? It could either have been an accidental click as has been suggested. Perhaps he and his fiance got into an argument and later reconciled. Maybe he posted the ... (read in full...)
I want my mom to know that I'm sexually active
Q. Hi I have a little bit of a dilemma... I am 16, nearly 17 and am sexually active (I live in the UK) I have been with my boyfriend with 10 months and we have only ever had sex with eachother and we only did it after about 7 months.We did it...
A. 13 December 2012: I'm puzzled by this as well. Why do you want your mum to know? You're doing something you believe your mum won't approve of. What exactly do you hope to achieve by shoving her face in it?... (read in full...)
My bf wants pics of me should I send them?
Q. Hi Recently my bf asked me to send pics of myself in underwear I love him and trust him and I want to do it... its not I don't feel comfortable with it and he said if I don't want to do it its fine but I don't want him thinking I am some kind...
A. 9 December 2012: Notice your boyfriend isn't offering to send you silly pictures of himself in his underwear.
Please don't do this. Neither yuo nor he can guarantee those iptures won't be intercepted by someone else and what that person will do with them. You don'... (read in full...)
Is he genuine? Every time he's 'going to leave her' something comes up. How do get more strength to cope with him?
Q. First of all I know im an idiot for getting myself in this situation and I do regret it more than you could know which is why I could do with some advice. I had feelings for a guy that I've known for a year and stupidly let him kiss me a few mo...
A. 9 December 2012: We can't give you the determination to do what needs to be done. That comes from within. What we can suggest is a way to make it easier for you. How do you do that?
Simple. You send him a brief email or text telling him it's over. Then block an... (read in full...)
Is he just bored and curious that he's looking up all these women on Facebook? Or should I be concerned? I'm losing trust in him.
Q. I have an issue I'm needing help with. I've recently found out that my husband has been looking up his ex wife, my ex best friend and several (even our next door neighbor's daughter who used to work at hooters) other chicks on Facebook to the exte...
A. 9 December 2012: To be honest I don't think talking to him about this or confronting him is going to improve matters whatsoever. In my opinion the troubles in this relationship are beyond repairing.
This isn't simply a matter of trust, but character and your hus... (read in full...)
Did my Ex ever really move on? Why does he still get so mad at me? How am I annoying him?
Q. Ok everyone, here it goes. Sorry if I am rambling a bit. Lately, I have been having trouble with my EX. I should add that it has been a year and a half since we split…..we are both in our 30's. He broke it off with me, saying he wasn't ready...
A. 9 December 2012: Your ex does sound like a character, but to be fair I think you've blurred the line a little too.
Keeping in touch with his friends is an invasion of his space. I don't know anyone who ever appreciated their ex contacting their friends. I know I d... (read in full...)
How can I ask my girlfriend to have anal sex with me?
Q. Hi, i need some advice from the ladies. I have a wonderful girlfriend and we love each other very much. I love her to bits and she is super hot. I would like to have anal sex with her, i noticed that when i touch her, or lick her there, it arous...
A. 9 December 2012: I suggest you just come right out and ask if she's willing to try it. If she is, there are plenty of online articles that provide step by step instructions.
Having said that, please be aware that while some women truly enjoy this, it really i... (read in full...)
Scared I'll miss him if we break-up. But I feel neglected and second best. Any advice on how to manage this situation?
Q. I think I should leave my boyfriend of 3 years but I'm scared to because I know I'm going to miss him so much. Can anyone give me some advice on whether this is normal or if it means I shouldn't do it? Here is some background on the reasons I have ...
A. 9 December 2012: I understand that he has some redeeming qualities and that some of the time you do enjoy yourself. But not nearly enough of the time. Yes, I do think you are cutting him way too much slack.
Not only are you unhappy with the status quo, but he's... (read in full...)
What can I do? My husband focuses on details in an argument to avoid answering questions! Drives me nuts!
Q. My husband and I just got married in September, after being together two and a half years. We were driving home from his friends house the other night and talking about relationships and how funny people can get when they notice one small thing ab...
A. 9 December 2012: I agree that you should not have mentioned the episode with his ex, although he did invite such a statement by comparing himself to his friend. Nevertheless, if it was a touchy subject then no response at all might have been better.
As for your... (read in full...)
Her Fiance was caught cheating. How can I help her see him more clearly and help her heal from her blinded love?
Q. how can i convince my friend that her to-be-husband is not worth keeping? all her family have had many doubts before with no hard evidence, but now he has been caught with a women in their village. Relatives saw them and told her. Yet she wouldn...
A. 9 December 2012: I too think on some level she sees him for what he is. Unfortunately at this point, the more anyone tries to show her the harder she will dig in her heels. It isn't just his character (or lack thereof) she is trying to justify, but her faith in him ... (read in full...)
Am I texting too much? Do my old classmate and I have a budding LDR or not?
Q. I recently saw an old classmate on FB. He graduated 79 and I 80. So he sent me his number and I called well at first it was merely to just chat with the guy that caught my eye way back when but I was with my boyfriend who later became my husban...
A. 8 December 2012: Yes, you're texting him way too much. You're chasing him so he doesn't need to chase you, assuming he's even inclined to.
The daily morning greetings are a bit much. Friends or lovers should be given the chance to miss you and be inspired to initi... (read in full...)
Why am I so hesitant about having sex with this man? What could be holding me back?
Q. I met this man on an online dating site. The first time we went out he scared me be the way he was over excited to see me. He literally ran towards me to hug me I felt so frightened that I automatically put my hands up. We had talked on the ph...
A. 8 December 2012: The others are right. If you're looking for a lasting, meaningful connection that isn't based on sex then it is far too soon to be considering hopping into bed with him.
He is too hungry, too in your face and overly sexual with someone he's onl... (read in full...)
Did he really love me if he got another girl pregnant?
Q. i had a boyfriend for 8 years. while together he got another girl pregnant who is his classmate. did he really love me? he said it was all accident and did not love the girl. added he will just give the girl's request to get them married and later ...
A. 7 December 2012: It is possible to have sex with someone without loving them, and the fact that he speaks of her the way he does tells me he doesn't love her. Nor do I think he loves or respects you that he would have had sex with someone else while expecting ... (read in full...)
I have liked this woman for three years. She has a boyfriend but I think she likes me. What should I do?
Q. Hi, i cant stop thinking about a women at my work we used to work together, and hang out at tea breaks etc. She has a boyfriend. When I told her I liked her she said she's happy, but one week later asked me out for a drink as friends went out...
A. 6 December 2012: You're making this far more complicated than it really is. She's not available to you. She's with someone else and doesn't want to be with you badly enough to walk away from that someone else. The only thing left for you to do is walk away from her ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants to reconnect, on a friendship level, with the ex who hurt her. I don't know how to feel about this.
Q. Here's my situation. Just over a year and a half ago, I started dating an incredible girl. We get along great. Our relationship is everything I could ever want in every way. We have made it clear to each other that we want to get married once we're ...
A. 6 December 2012: I think your concerns are valid and I'm not falling for her closure nonsense.
The fact that she'd even have her ex as a contact on Facebook after he supposedly treated her so badly speaks volumes about her character and poor judgment.
Like at... (read in full...)
I see him every day but he only texts me once. Am I asking too much?
Q. I'm 43 and have fallen madly in love with this man. He and I have amaizing chemistry and sex. When we are together things are perfect. We get along, joke, play, talk. He is affectionate and loving. The problem lies when we are apart. He calls me ...
A. 6 December 2012: Yes, you are expecting too much and if you're not careful you'll lose this guy. He's going to feel smothered and he'll soon realise that you haven't got anything else going on in your life.
Seeing each other every night, phoning every day is a... (read in full...)
I'm not gay, but an encounter with a friend gave me an erection. I'm confused!
Q. I'm 23 years old guy and time ago I had a stupid thing with my friend that I can't get out of my head. My friend is a bit older than I, he's a nice guy and I can always trust in him. We've shared many things and had always be there each for other. ...
A. 1 December 2012: Person12345 is correct. This 'encounter' was a sexual assault. And your erection was an involuntary response to stimulus and possibly fear/anger, and not a sign of latent homosexuality. It's similar to being tickled. I absolutely cannot stand bei... (read in full...)
He got a stripper pregnant, and is staying with her but says he still loves me.
Q. My exboyfriend first cheated on me with a stripper, then lied to me saying that he longer had connections with her. Within 3 months the stripper is suppose to be pregnant with his child, and now it has been 5 months and she claims they are married. ...
A. 1 December 2012: Some opinions....alright here's mine.
I think that if you insist on holding out any kind of hope for a happy future with someone who has behaved badly, someone who apparently lacks impulse control, sound judgment, a sense of decency and regard f... (read in full...)
He made a commitment to be with me, but is still chatting up girls on the dating site we met on.
Q. I met my boyfriend on an online dating/chat website about 7 months ago. We were just friends for about 5 months before we both agreed to be in a committed relationship. We live two states apart and we visit each other at least every few months. ...
A. 1 December 2012: Regardless of any agenda your woman friend may or may not have, she has provided enough proof of your new boyfriend's character and his motives for you to make a decision. She knows things about him only he could have told her. You've see his ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend wants nothing t do with me.. What do you think??
Q. So i haven't talked to my boyfriend in about 3 weeks.. and i feel as if he's ignoring me.. i don't know what to do.. this isn't the first time. He usually dosen't talk to me for a week or two then just calls or texts me and acts like nothings ...
A. 30 November 2012: After three weeks of no contact with him I would not consider him a boyfriend. And if this is how things usually are, he never really was a boyfriend. SVC is right. This sounds more like a friends with benefits arrangement, save the fact that you... (read in full...)
Should I end our affair in person? Or is a goodbye text enough?
Q. I've decided that even tho I'm hopelessly in love with a guy I've been having an affair with, it's time to end it. He is married, and I know he's never gonna leave her, I'm just tired of holding my emotions inside, and waiting for him to be mine, ...
A. 29 November 2012: I agree with the others about not ending it in person or over the phone. You have strong feelings for this guy which makes you vulnerable to persuasion should he decide he wants to continue the affair. Since your relationship is really just one ... (read in full...)
Did he dump me or are we on a break?
Q. I have been with my man for 6 months now. Things were going great, then he lost his dream job because of a stupid thing he did, found a new one but its not a good one, but he needs to work there to earn some money. He became really distant with...
A. 26 November 2012: Wow. No one could ever accuse you of being too supportive. He had a bad day, wants a bit of time to himself, was honest about that and even reassured you it had nothing to do with you and all you care about is how it affects you. It hasn't even been ... (read in full...)
Is he interested or just being polite after weeks of silence?
Q. A quick question for you all: Hadn't heard from this guy I had a crush on, in 5 weeks, then all of a sudden I get a beautifully worded text. All it did was apologise for the lack of contact, he had been very busy and asked how things were with...
A. 26 November 2012: Your follow up wasn't flagged as having come from the OP so I didn't realise there had been a follow up until i was going through old posts. Hence my delay in responding.
'Let's get lunch soon' sounds a bit non commital to me so I would respond ... (read in full...)
What am I supose to do here ? Don't want to be a part time girlfriend.
Q. So im having some problems lately with my boyfriend that have escalated from his new job. Needless to say at the moment i am currently and unfortunatly unemployed something iv never experienced before as ive worked since i was 15. this is a trying...
A. 25 November 2012: Giving him the boyfriend experience only when he is being a boyfriend sounds like good advice to me. Has he come right out and asked you to pick him at all hours, wait up for him and make his meals or have you just volunteered to do this? Were yo... (read in full...)
My small boobs are spoiling my relationship !
Q. Hi everyone. I am in a very confused situation and I need help. Please take time to read and any help would be appreciated. My bf and I are in a relationship for the last 4 years. We both love each other madly and deeply. We want to get married. ...
A. 25 November 2012: You're very welcome and thank you for the feedback.... (read in full...)
My small boobs are spoiling my relationship !
Q. Hi everyone. I am in a very confused situation and I need help. Please take time to read and any help would be appreciated. My bf and I are in a relationship for the last 4 years. We both love each other madly and deeply. We want to get married. ...
A. 23 November 2012: Does your family know how shallow, and depraved a person your boyfriend really is? What do they have to say about all this?
He is a man of very low quality. Tacky, predictable and very boring.
My advice is to get rid of him. You'll grieve. Y... (read in full...)
I'm worried my girlfriend's past makes her a slut
Q. Hello im a 21 year old guy and my question is im worried about my girlfriends past, I know its the past but some people don't change. I've been talking to thhis girl for a lil over two years I met her on a site, I've never had a real girlfriend just ...
A. 23 November 2012: By the description you gave us, I would not call her a slut, but I do think she is unstable and lacking in sound judgment. A troubled home life, shacking up with one guy after another (with a 5 year old daughter) and dating a man she all but says... (read in full...)
I Don't want sexy undies for Christmas again!
Q. Im dreading my Christmas present from my partner, it will be 'sexy underwear' i dont know why he keeps wasting his money because ive told him time and time again that i dont like it and it makes me feel cheap. I dont feel comfortable wearing it at ...
A. 22 November 2012: When he hands you the present, just dismiss it with 'no thanks. I don't need any more sexy lingerie to have to get rid of'.
Nevermind his feelings. He set himself up for whatever he gets.
Or, you could pick an item that's easy to buy (easy for... (read in full...)
I Don't want sexy undies for Christmas again!
Q. Im dreading my Christmas present from my partner, it will be 'sexy underwear' i dont know why he keeps wasting his money because ive told him time and time again that i dont like it and it makes me feel cheap. I dont feel comfortable wearing it at ...
A. 22 November 2012: If talking hasn't helped, then more talking won't either. You've said all you need to say. They say it's the thought that counts. His gift speaks volumes about his thoughts.
My advice is, like others have said, simply don't accept the gift. Wh... (read in full...)
My ex is trying to win me back but has an online profile that he visits every day???
Q. Not sure if I want to continue reuniting with my ex-bf. We had been together for 12 years, living together for 6 of those, then he left me in a most cowardly sort of way. Then, after about two-and-a-half years of on-and-off luke-warm contact,...
A. 22 November 2012: He's keeping his options open in case either you or the woman he's looking for doesn't work out. That means he isn't serious abuot either.
The lovey-dovey wooing is also a red flag. If he isn't by nature a very giving and doting person (I mean wit... (read in full...)
Should your girlfriend be sleeping over at a guy's house who has hit on her?
Q. Is it all right for your girlfriend to sleep at a guys house,after the guy hit on her,she said she turned him down,but then she said was interested in him at one time,then did it again? I broke up with her?...
A. 22 November 2012: I agree with Yos.
If you're asking me if you broke up with her, I have no idea. If you're telling me, then I say you did the right thing.
... (read in full...)
Why did the evening start out date like and at the end she made it clear we were just friends?
Q. I met this girl in August and we hit it off straight away. So we started going out on dates, going to the cinema, meals out ect, which would always end up with us passionately kissing and cuddling till the early hours. We even performed oral sex on ...
A. 22 November 2012: YouWish posted a perfect response to another man who asked a similar question some time ago.
You acted like a boyfriend and encouraged her to act like a girlfriend, then claimed you were both just friends. She followed your actions and probably... (read in full...)
We dated a week, he went to afghanistan for 8 months and I don't know what will happen in that space of time!
Q. So I have this dilemma.. I recently met a guy that I have fallen completely head over heals for, and from my understanding, he has completely fallen for me too. The problem is, he is in the army, and was deployed to Afghanistan a couple days ago. ...
A. 22 November 2012: I agree with then first two answers. Continue talking to him, but don't set yourself up for commitments that offer few rewards. To that end, you might want to cut back on some of that time spent online together. If all of your free time is spent ... (read in full...)
I told her I loved her and she just laughed! What should I do now?
Q. I am in love with my former teacher. I am now teaching in her same college and I know her since 15 years. This lasted since the first time we met. I tried to live as if it wasn't true, but now that I am facing the fact that I do not think to anyon...
A. 22 November 2012: You're welcome.
... (read in full...)
I told her I loved her and she just laughed! What should I do now?
Q. I am in love with my former teacher. I am now teaching in her same college and I know her since 15 years. This lasted since the first time we met. I tried to live as if it wasn't true, but now that I am facing the fact that I do not think to anyon...
A. 21 November 2012: I think it was unfair of you to drop that bomshell in her lap.
My guess is she likes you as a colleague, possibly a friend and/or a former pupil, but nothing more. She doesn't want to hurt your feelings or make things uncomfortable at work. Sh... (read in full...)
Is he interested or just being polite after weeks of silence?
Q. A quick question for you all: Hadn't heard from this guy I had a crush on, in 5 weeks, then all of a sudden I get a beautifully worded text. All it did was apologise for the lack of contact, he had been very busy and asked how things were with...
A. 16 October 2012: There is nothing wrong with asking about his job and answering his questions. That's what normal conversations look like in polite society. I did recommend you be pleasant enough that he felt comfortable contacting you again and to sound busy and ... (read in full...)
Is he interested or just being polite after weeks of silence?
Q. A quick question for you all: Hadn't heard from this guy I had a crush on, in 5 weeks, then all of a sudden I get a beautifully worded text. All it did was apologise for the lack of contact, he had been very busy and asked how things were with...
A. 14 October 2012: 'Left guessing' as in him doing the chasing. I don't mean string the guy along, but don't make her interest so apparant that he can string her along either. ... (read in full...)
Is he interested or just being polite after weeks of silence?
Q. A quick question for you all: Hadn't heard from this guy I had a crush on, in 5 weeks, then all of a sudden I get a beautifully worded text. All it did was apologise for the lack of contact, he had been very busy and asked how things were with...
A. 13 October 2012: Your incessant flirting has made it clear to him exactly how you feel. Most people are busy and BondGirl is right, sending a text takes seconds. If he were that keen on you and didn't know where he stood he would have made a point of contacting ... (read in full...)
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