I told her I loved her and she just laughed! What should I do now?
Q. I am in love with my former teacher. I am now teaching in her same college and I know her since 15 years. This lasted since the first time we met. I tried to live as if it wasn't true, but now that I am facing the fact that I do not think to anyon...
A. 22 November 2012: You're welcome.
... (read in full...)
I told her I loved her and she just laughed! What should I do now?
Q. I am in love with my former teacher. I am now teaching in her same college and I know her since 15 years. This lasted since the first time we met. I tried to live as if it wasn't true, but now that I am facing the fact that I do not think to anyon...
A. 21 November 2012: I think it was unfair of you to drop that bomshell in her lap.
My guess is she likes you as a colleague, possibly a friend and/or a former pupil, but nothing more. She doesn't want to hurt your feelings or make things uncomfortable at work. Sh... (read in full...)
Is it common for people to be in a relationship and signed up to online dating sites?
Q. I have noticed this kind of question comes up a lot on this website. Is it very common for people to be signed up to dating websites whilst in a relationship. I have found my boyfriend to be doing it and lying about it. when he is not able to lie, ...
A. 21 November 2012: Even in a best case scenario, your boyfriend is leading himself to temptation and possibly stringing other women along. People who've had affairs don't just wake up in them. They all started somewhere.
Your boyfriend is seeking out other women an... (read in full...)
I just found out that a man I've been flirting with, is married. Any suggestions on how to back off politely?
Q. Help, At work their is this guy who has been flirting and I've been flirting back, I'm okay with that. But when I wanted to show a friend what he looked like a came across his public Facebook account and found out he has three kids and is marr...
A. 20 November 2012: I think you're worrying for nothing. No need to make a plan, just stop flirting. remain pleasant, but be formal. If he comes right out and asks, as SVC says, just say you found out he was married. If he's dumb enough to ask how, tell him it doesn't ... (read in full...)
Is this rude behavior for his adult children to not respond to invitiations to visit for the holidays?
Q. My fiance's three adult children never respond to his invitations to visit us over the holidays. He has e-mailed them, texted them, left messages on their phones, but they never respond. Communication is sporadic at best. The two sons are single and ...
A. 20 November 2012: I agree with SVC as well. No response means not coming.
If they do show up when the day comes, you can offer them coffee and dessert. Be pleasant but make no apologies.
And yes, it is very rude. ... (read in full...)
My room mate doesn't understand why I don't want her to walk around naked in front of my boyfriend
Q. I asked a question awhile back, and now things have progressed and I need HELP! This is the link to my first question... http://www.dearcupid.org/question/our-female-room-mate-who-has-a-crush.html (RECAP: My female roommate has, on multipl...
A. 19 November 2012: Sorry, one more thing...
Don't feel obliged to make uncomfortable compromises for the sake of peace. A towel or just underwear is NOT enough when guests are visiting. She should be fully dressed or remain in her room. Not only is that basic et... (read in full...)
My room mate doesn't understand why I don't want her to walk around naked in front of my boyfriend
Q. I asked a question awhile back, and now things have progressed and I need HELP! This is the link to my first question... http://www.dearcupid.org/question/our-female-room-mate-who-has-a-crush.html (RECAP: My female roommate has, on multipl...
A. 19 November 2012: In addition to what the others have already said...
Your room mate actually doesn't think you are being unreasonable or puritanical. She just accuses you of it to guilt you into shutting up so she can continue doing what she likes.
And she... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has cut me off from male friends but he is making female friends!
Q. I am living with my boyfriend for about 3months and he has made me cut most of my male friends just because he thinks am close to them..now I see him making new female friends and getting close to them also..I asked him about it and he said that ...
A. 19 November 2012: I agree with Staceily. Reconnect with your friends and disconnect from you boyfriend.
You're young but time does fly whether you're having fun or not, so don't squander yours by trying to explain anything or reason with him. He will never ag... (read in full...)
Should I worry about my boyfriend's desire to have sex with another guy?
Q. My boyfriend is a wonderful guy and I love him so much and I know he loves me too. He isn't gay or even bisexual, guys themselves make him uncomfortable sexually, but he's really attracted to penises. Which probably seems weird. I know he's ...
A. 11 November 2012: Um, honey I understood you just fine and answered your question accordingly.
Having sex with others exposes your relatonship to greater risks. Those risks include STDs and yes, developing attachments to others. Hence my saying the risks were gre... (read in full...)
Riddle man, fuck buddy... or more?
Q. Hello, i have been friends with this guy for over 10 years now. We started going out back then, but his ex complicated things so we remained friends and have been sleeping together occasionally. I had suggested a couple of times that we go steady ...
A. 11 November 2012: Seeing as how you haven't heard from him in 4 years and he only declared his love AFTER you made an exclusive commitment a condition for having sex, I would say his 'I love you' is insincere.
He told you that because he thinks you might be dumb ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my friend I've fallen for him or just suffer in silence?
Q. So I went and did the worst thing possible, I fell in love with one of my friends. I've known him nearly two years and realized that I loved him about 4 months ago. Now I don't want to lose a good friend if he doesn't feel the same so the dilemma is ...
A. 11 November 2012: I would say nothing until you have a reason to think your feelings for him will be reciprocated. If they aren't, you'll have exposed yourself needlessly and made him very uncomfortable.
Wait and get a better read of the situation before saying a... (read in full...)
Should I worry about my boyfriend's desire to have sex with another guy?
Q. My boyfriend is a wonderful guy and I love him so much and I know he loves me too. He isn't gay or even bisexual, guys themselves make him uncomfortable sexually, but he's really attracted to penises. Which probably seems weird. I know he's ...
A. 11 November 2012: Does being bisexual mean you enjoy women as much as you do men? And if so should your boyfriend worry?
What I would be more concerned about is this belief that being bisexual means you must have one of each to satisfy whatever mood you're in at th... (read in full...)
Our friends keep asking us if we would like to "house swap" with them! They are relentless!
Q. This may seem trivial but I'm really angry about it... Basically my partner and I have bought a lovely 3 bed house. We've worked hard to be able to afford it- sacrificing things, working all hours, not having a decent holiday for the past 4 y...
A. 11 November 2012: People like them rely on people like you to be too polite and compassionate to say anything. That's why they're so comfortable crossing the line.
If some of your reluctance comes from not wanting to hurt innocent children, then rest assured ... (read in full...)
My friend text him pretending to be me and now he won't talk to me... Help!
Q. I've been dating a man for 2 months. He has a lot going on in his life, extremely stressful job and an autistic son that lives 6 hrs away. We've not seen each other much in the last 3 weeks because of this, but we have kept in constant contact. ...
A. 11 November 2012: I think you should have distanced yourself from your friend's actions by saying very little. Express surprise and disapproval, naturally, but leave it at that. If he was still peeved, you could have given him some time and space to work it out and ... (read in full...)
Do you think a girl that sleeps with every boyfriend is a whore?
Q. Hi!! The other day I was talking to my mom, and somehow she ended up telling me how she thinks that a girl that sleeps with all of her boyfriends is a whore. She didn't say strangers, or guys you have only known for a week or so, she meant real rel...
A. 11 November 2012: From what you've said, your mother's statement was not directed at you personally. I think you have to apply some context to the comment. If the girl in question had a new boyfriend every 3 weeks and slept with each one of them, most people woul... (read in full...)
Whenever I try to flirt with him, he stops replying to my texts!
Q. Hi! It's me, an aunt that hasn't been on in quite some time! (Oops, sorry!) And now I have a problem... I've never been good at flirting. In fact, you could say I'm even pretty clueless when it comes to flirting. I don't normally flirt, bec...
A. 11 November 2012: That tidbit of information does make a big difference. Has your boyfriend always been this way or is this a recent thing? Does he withdraw from any flirting or just certain kinds of flirting (more racy, for example or talk of specific acts)? ... (read in full...)
Too embarassed to buy condoms! Help!
Q. I'm 19 and my bf is 22. We've been together for almost a year and we feel like we're ready to have sex. We understand the consequences of having unprotected sex. Hence despite both of us being virgins, we still want to use a condom. Problem is: ...
A. 10 November 2012: Why is the burden on you to buy them? Is there some law in your country that says the woman has to take care of everything?
If your boyfriend is man enough to have sex, then surely he is man enough to buy the protection himself. Don't you thin... (read in full...)
Whenever I try to flirt with him, he stops replying to my texts!
Q. Hi! It's me, an aunt that hasn't been on in quite some time! (Oops, sorry!) And now I have a problem... I've never been good at flirting. In fact, you could say I'm even pretty clueless when it comes to flirting. I don't normally flirt, bec...
A. 10 November 2012: Welcome back, Shadow Rose. I'm not very good at flirting either. Probably because I've never really done much of it. But I'll share my thoughts anyway and hopefully it will help.
It seems pretty straight forward to me. He stops responding because ... (read in full...)
Where can I buy lingerie to surprise hubby for his bday
Q. Hi aunt and uncles. My q is in regards to lingerie. There arent any local places to buy lingerie and I have a harder time now that Im plus size, US 16/18. Does anyone know any good websites for plus size lingerie that has variety of colors? Red, ...
A. 10 November 2012: Before you go to the trouble or the expense, has your husband ever given you any indication that this is what he wants for his birthday?
What would you think if he bought himself nice something for your birthday and tried to pass it off as a gif... (read in full...)
My mother went through and cleaned my room without any warning. I feel violated, my dad says "get over it"!
Q. DearCupid Aunts, I need your opinion on something. I came home the other day to find that my mother had gone through my entire room, and cleaned it out. My drawers, all my laundry, several of my purses/backpacks, and private papers, had been...
A. 9 November 2012: I can understand your outrage to a degree, especially with your mum's careless disposal of your personal information, but overall I'm with her on this one. Messy people don't seem to realise that their mess affects everyone. It isn't simply a c... (read in full...)
He wants me as a booty call, what should I do?
Q. I got a friend that has lost both of his parents. We were giving an affair.after the lot of his parents he then divorced his wife. He stop calling me. Then later told me he hookup with another female. He said his relationship is great but his girl...
A. 6 November 2012: Don't even respond to him. Block his emails and delete his contact information.
A death in the family is not an excuse to behave like a cad. Your 'friend' is not a man of quality.
He is not your friend. He is not a lover. He is just a pig. ... (read in full...)
Is this the sort of person I should date? He lied and now says I'm making a bid deal out of things
Q. I have been going out with my bf for a year. I won't call myself psychic but let us just say I have a very strong 6th sense that is never wrong: normally they come in the form of dreams which will be recurring. (Keep an open mind here please, don't ...
A. 1 November 2012: You're very welcome and thank you for the feedback. Whatever you decide to do, things will work out in the end.... (read in full...)
Is this the sort of person I should date? He lied and now says I'm making a bid deal out of things
Q. I have been going out with my bf for a year. I won't call myself psychic but let us just say I have a very strong 6th sense that is never wrong: normally they come in the form of dreams which will be recurring. (Keep an open mind here please, don't ...
A. 31 October 2012: No, I don't believe you're over reacting and no, this is not the sort of person I think you should date.
For one thing he says he wants to marry you 'one day'. 'One day' is non committal. It's what you say to someone to put them off, but keep the... (read in full...)
B/f broke up because of my good looks and what his friend said??
Q. Hi everyone, It took me two days to even talk about this,cause I'm unable to wrap around what happened to me.. My boyfriend of 2 years dumped me yesterday for a reason sooo silly and immatur'ish' if I can say.. When he first met me,he was very...
A. 31 October 2012: I'm not buying his excuse either. This was all too neat and efficient to be sudden. He's made up his mind and he doesn't want the hassle of having to explain himself any further.
My advice is to leave it be for the time being. You don't know wha... (read in full...)
My husband left me for a 19 year old and took our kids with him
Q. I have two children, a 16-year-old son and a 21-year-old daughter. Me and my husband have been married for 20 years now. I'm 42, and he's 45, and recently he left me for a 19-year-old and moved in with her taking the kids. I'd gone out to work one...
A. 29 October 2012: As the others have said, both your son and daughter are legally old enough to have a say in where they live.
And your husband can shred divorce papers all he wants but eventually the divorce will go through. You can't be kept dangling on a string... (read in full...)
What can I do? I feel embarrassed about how to approach a guy I used when we went on holidays together
Q. I've done something so terrible and feeling bad about it. I went on a trip with a guy in summer and there i was mourning and crying about my ex all the time and he comforted me and was there for me instead of being mad at me he was being a good...
A. 27 October 2012: OP, it would be a good idea to refer people to your prior submissions or include the relevant information here as you did there. Thanks to Daisy, I have a better picture of the situation.
Ok, so he no longer wishes to keep in touch. He specific... (read in full...)
How do I learn to trust him? And how many second chances should I be giving out?
Q. First off the last year and a bit I've been on and off with this guy (j). More off than on to be honest. We started seeing each other in September and it finished early November. But in that time I fell in love with him, and I've been through ...
A. 26 October 2012: The one you really need to learn to trust is yourself. Or rather earn your own trust and yuo do this gradually by making wise choices.
If you stand on the edge of a precipice you're going to feel insecure and afraid. This is healthy and normal. ... (read in full...)
What can I do? I feel embarrassed about how to approach a guy I used when we went on holidays together
Q. I've done something so terrible and feeling bad about it. I went on a trip with a guy in summer and there i was mourning and crying about my ex all the time and he comforted me and was there for me instead of being mad at me he was being a good...
A. 26 October 2012: If we're only talking a couple of months, then this can be salvaged. Are you in a position to repay him any of the money he gave you?
Instead of making a grand show of acknowledging how 'terrible' you were, and offering to flagellate yourself... (read in full...)
Twelve years together. But now his porn addiction has taken a nasty turn for the worse. Should I dump him?
Q. My man friend (been together 12 years) has a porn addiction. In the last 6 months..he's given out his phone number so these nasty ladies can contact him by text. He say's it's just a game. The other day I looked at his history and discover...
A. 26 October 2012: Yes, I think you should.
For starters there is the huge financial burden his addiction places on both of you. Not to mention possible legal or health risks you may be exposed to. The more repulsive his interests the more repulsive will be those... (read in full...)
Is this a normal reaction to stress?
Q. today, one of my parents and one of my siblings got into an extremely heated screaming match. you could almost feel the hate boiling between them. they were hoarse after, because it was so intense. then there was horrible crying and sobbing,...
A. 25 October 2012: Yes it is panic/anxiety and no you don't have a medical condition. Yours is an acceptable response to perceived danger. The problem is you shouldn't be inspired to feel danger at home with your family.
They obviously feel very passiona... (read in full...)
I want to share my wife with my old friend....
Q. I have had a fantasy about sharing my wife and the feelings have become stronger. My wife is aware of this fantasy. We have role played this for years approx 8yrs). Within the last 4 years I have been talking to her about bringing this to real life. ...
A. 25 October 2012: Yes, it's very normal. It means you're not really that interest in doing it.
Did you read what you typed before you submitted it?
*Your wife is 'aware of' this fantasy (she doesn't share it)
*Eight years talking about it and only recently ha... (read in full...)
Would a guy choose a physical attraction over an emotional attachment?
Q. I am interested in hearing male and female opinions on my question. If a guy liked two girls, which one would win out in the end, the one he has a physical connection to or the one he has an emotional connection to? Both women are attractive and h...
A. 25 October 2012: This guy? If he keeps rude enough two women on standby and base enough to tell them the only reason he's keeping them around, then I say he hasn't a very strong connection of any kind with either of them. ... (read in full...)
Should I trust my LDR girlfriend? She grinds with other guys
Q. I recently started dating a girl at the school I just graduated from. It's a semi-long distance relationship; thus far we've been able to see each other at least once a month, if not more. However, there are times when we are apart. I trust her ...
A. 23 October 2012: Grinding, in my opinion, is much the same as dry humping except that with the former, you're verticle and doing it to music. The fact that your girlfriend thinks this is an appropriate way to behave, regardless of her relationship status, says ... (read in full...)
14 going out with a 12 year old?
Q. hi, I'm a 14 year old girl and just yesterday, I was asked out by a 12 year old boy that I liked. I'm really scared that people will make judgements about the age difference and my mum fears I will get bullied for it. He is really sweet and caring ...
A. 23 October 2012: If he were 16 and you were 14 that would be one thing, but he is twelve. I'm with your mum on this one. He is too young. And considering young girls tend to mature sooner than young boys that makes the mental age difference considerably more than ... (read in full...)
I love him, but I need to understand if his sexual fetishes are OK or not? One example: He likes me to dress as a school girl when we have sex.
Q. To give you a bit of background I'm not very sexually experienced. I've slept with two people in long-term relationships before my current partner and he is my third sexual partner (he is 23). In both my previous relationships, I had passionate, ...
A. 23 October 2012: At your age you are a schoolgirl so whether you dress up as one or not, he is acting out his fetish. I agree with MissTellAll in that this particular one is marginally normal (in that it is a popular if unorthodox one) but I also agree with Staceily ... (read in full...)
Was inviting him to a movie, as just a friend, the wrong thing to do? I have a crush on him. He does have a GF as well.
Q. Dear cupid, I really like this guy at my school, but he is a going out with a friend, of mine right. I reassured him that I don't mind being just friends and that I wouldn't dare interfere with his relationship because I care about him and I care a...
A. 23 October 2012: Regardless of what your intentions were you're leading yourself into temptation and making life more complicated than it has to be.
As long as you have strong feelings for this guy you really should keep him at arms length. 'Doing it for the wron... (read in full...)
I cheated on my LDR boyfriend. Do I tell him or just end things?
Q. I cheated on my long distance boyfriend. I got so lonely waiting around for him to return home. The relationship more or less is dead. Do I tell him or do I just break up? I feel so guilty. ...
A. 21 October 2012: If the relationship is circling the bowl then there is no point in telling him. All that will do is hurt him. Just end it so you can meet and date others without hiding it or feeling guilty.... (read in full...)
I pretended to be someone else online and it all went down hill.
Q. First off I want to say please don't judge me I know I made a huge mistake and I am trying to fix myself and what I have done. Around 2 months ago I made a fake account on a dating website. I got pictures from someone else and made up the "abo...
A. 19 October 2012: You've already come clean and apologised so all you can do now is wait. Give her time to absorb it. ... (read in full...)
How to appologise to best friend and his girl friend
Q. my ex husband and i were in a relationship for 11 years before we split but we grew up together and have been through a lot together. i was extremely attached to him and had no one else in my life. he is truly a great guy and he did a lot for me and ...
A. 19 October 2012: Like I asked you when you first posed this question to us on September 19th, what would your ideal friendship with him/them look like?
They consider you personna non grata, so how is it you're going to their house? Have they changed their mi... (read in full...)
If I say anything now it would destroy him? I do have a past from a LONG time ago. But is it best left unsaid?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about a year now. When we first got to know each other we spoke about our past a little and he wanted to see what kind of person I was. I knew where he stood with his past and he has only had sexual relations...
A. 19 October 2012: Anonymous male, you're right that we don't get to tell other people what they can think or how they get to feel about what we do, and neither the OP, nor anyone else here has suggested otherwise, but we absoloutely DO have the right to decide what ... (read in full...)
How can marriage be so special if people just move on and pretty much forget the past?
Q. OK, this is a little deep but I know some will understand where I'm coming from. My wife and I have been happily married for 14 years, but she said a couple things that have always stuck with me. She casually said one day " well if we hadn't married ...
A. 19 October 2012: You do have something special, and the fact that you both could have had something special with someone else does not take away from what you have with each other.
In the event that you died, your wife would not simply bury you, give away all your... (read in full...)
If I say anything now it would destroy him? I do have a past from a LONG time ago. But is it best left unsaid?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about a year now. When we first got to know each other we spoke about our past a little and he wanted to see what kind of person I was. I knew where he stood with his past and he has only had sexual relations...
A. 18 October 2012: 'For him he has always had to at least like the person before considering sleeping with them, and all those he has been with he developed a relationship with'
So in fact he has had sex with people he barely knew. It just so happened that a relati... (read in full...)
| *iar's friends
These are mutual friends, so *iar has
added them and they have added *iar!
|
