I feel as if I go out of my way for everyone and no-one can be bothered when it comes to me.
Q. Its' my birthday today. A milestone. A special one. I've had a tear in my eye most of the day – not because I have reached 40 but because I feel so let down and now I'm feeling that maybe I'm being unreasonable, selfish and ungrateful. Situat...
A. 30 December 2013: Normally I don't follow up on old posts, but I happened to be going through some and came across this one. The irony was just too obvious not to comment on, on the off chance you'll ever check this.
Your submission was about taking the time to ... (read in full...)
Does this woman really want to be with me?
Q. Ok, so here's the deal. It's very difficult for me to write about this, but I am in desperate need of some impartial view of the whole situation. I've been seeing this girl for the last five months, almost on a daily basis. Every time we are toge...
A. 9 March 2013: I think she is sincere about her intentions with you, and she isn't deliberately trying to string you along, if that's part of what you're asking. However she is not being entirely honest or realistic with herself.
She has spent nearly a decade w... (read in full...)
How can I diplomatically distance myself from my overbearing mother?
Q. I need some advice about my overbearing mother. I'm 23 years old and have always been controlled by my mum to a certain degree. Through out my childhood, I was held back from doing the things other children were doing for fear of me getting hurt. ...
A. 5 March 2013: The easiest and most diplomatic way to distance yourself from your mother is to do it gradually. I do not recommend announcing your intentions as it would provoke an argument. Besides, talk is cheap. It's actions that count.
... (read in full...)
Is he inerested? Does he like me? Should I ask him out for our second date?
Q. I went out on a date with a guy, the date went really well. We talked, laughed, he told me I looked nice, and at the end of the date we hugged and he told me we should definitely hangout again. I didn't want him to feel as if he had to be the on...
A. 28 February 2013: Ok so a second date has already been arranged. Then I agree, a text confirming the time and place is appropriate. Send him one firming up those details and see what happens.
Your original post gave me a different impression. How long had you know... (read in full...)
Is he inerested? Does he like me? Should I ask him out for our second date?
Q. I went out on a date with a guy, the date went really well. We talked, laughed, he told me I looked nice, and at the end of the date we hugged and he told me we should definitely hangout again. I didn't want him to feel as if he had to be the on...
A. 28 February 2013: So he did respond to your Sunday text?
My honest opinion is he isn't that interested. He hugged you when the evening ended, he offered a non committal statement about getting together again and even referred to your date as 'hanging out'. It all s... (read in full...)
B/f can't text me during the work day yet he's on facebook?
Q. I've posted about this before on this site, however the problem is still continuing. Every time I text my bf while we're both at work he just completely ignores me, yet he's on facebook posting statuses, liking pictures, just doing whatever. He ...
A. 28 February 2013: The answer is simple. Stop texting him when either one of you is at work. You can hear all about his day, and he yours, when your shifts are over and you're both at home. I recommend you not contact him on Facebook either. If he wants to muck ab... (read in full...)
I don't want to cause drama but I have to stand up for myself
Q. I will be getting married next year to my fiancee. His older sister has this very dominant personality and he comes from a conservative family but yet his parents are very open minded. So, the problem is that his sister was telling me that I cannot ...
A. 28 February 2013: Good question. Who is paying for the dress?
My advice is not to EXPLAIN anything. Explanations are what a student offers a teacher when they don't complete an assignment or an employee offers their boss when they're late for work.
Your an... (read in full...)
My boyfriend asked for a key to my apartment? Should I give it to him?
Q. My boyfriend asked for a key to my apartment. We visit each other's places often and sometimes he sleeps over or I sleep over at his place. We have been dating for 3 months. I do not want to live with him or have him live with me. He asked if ...
A. 28 February 2013: Yes, I do think it was inappropriate of him to ask for a key, especially after only three months of dating. If he's only there when you are, you have to wonder why he wants a key. Does he plan to enter your apartment when you're not there? Or ca... (read in full...)
What do I have to do to make my boyfriend realize that what I do for him/his family is out of love?
Q. Is it possible for someone to never be satisfied with you,rather not see how much you care.. My boyfriend of 5 years never really sees the good in me..I'v been taking care of his autistic sister for the past 4 years not because I have to but beca...
A. 28 February 2013: You stop doing it or do it in moderation.
Your boyfriend wouldn't tell you you were a bad girlfriend because you've looked after his sister, nursed him after an injury and given his mother money. There's more to this, but the bottom line remains ... (read in full...)
Will our relationship survive on little contact?
Q. Ok so I'm 17 and I've been with my boyfriend for almost a month now. he's amazing, he doesn't mind the fact that I'm a virgin but he just started working and we would go weeks without seeing each other and to top that sometimes we only talk for 5mns...
A. 25 February 2013: I can't imagine what kind of job he has, especially at age 17, that leaves him no time whatsoever to see his girlfriend.
A lot of young men won't mind that you're a virgin. It doesn't merit him a gold star.
Are you sure he isn't seeing som... (read in full...)
Will our relationship survive on little contact?
Q. Ok so I'm 17 and I've been with my boyfriend for almost a month now. he's amazing, he doesn't mind the fact that I'm a virgin but he just started working and we would go weeks without seeing each other and to top that sometimes we only talk for 5mns...
A. 24 February 2013: With minimal contact it's unlikely this relationship will last.
Is that 5 minutes per day or every few days?... (read in full...)
Would you help your ex raise a child from another woman? He says we can't get back together except as friends
Q. ok, has anyone ever encountered this before? my husband, well ex now once asked if he went and got someone pregnant would i help him raise it? i told him no im too old i have already raised my children. oh we could not have any together because of a ...
A. 14 February 2013: Under the circumstanecs you've described? No.
I would not remain friends with him, so taking him back would be out of the question. I wouldn't be hostile with him, but he isn't someone I would call a friend and continued assocation with him woul... (read in full...)
How do I let my wife know its ok for her to have a vibrator?
Q. I am a construction worker in Australia, which at the moment means working away from home. A lot. Recently i came home while my wife was out, and my curiosity got the better of me, and i looked in my wifes' bedside table top drawer where i found a ...
A. 14 February 2013: If you're fine with your wife owning a vibrator and using it when you're not around then you shouldn't have said anything.
Your wife is obviously very private and reserved. That doesn't mean she's broken and needs fixing. She may have been mor... (read in full...)
Wisdom teeth problem
Q. more of a health issue than relationship, but advice is appreciated, aunts this is so not a relationship question but it's bothering me , I was fine till recently I realized my wisdom teeth was coming out I thought I didn't even have them, I went to ...
A. 8 February 2013: Unless they`re causing you pain, why not wait for them to grow in and then have them pulled? Extracting them when they`re still below the gum line makes it surgery and surgery costs more. It`s much cheaper to pull an already exposed tooth.
... (read in full...)
I'm At A Total Loss, I Need Help My Wife's Anxiety Has Killed Our Relationship
Q. This is a first for me, asking for help on the Internets. Thank you in advance for reading and or responding. My question is whether the issue that I will describe below can be 'fixed', whether I need to separate with a view to trying to save our ...
A. 8 February 2013: Ultimately your wife's problem is a perceived lack of control. She's unable to set and maintain reasonable limits for herself without feeling as though she's letting everyone else down. Because of it, she's at everyone else's mercy and she ... (read in full...)
How do I heal from my Mother's horrible abuse? Please help!
Q. Dear cupid...please help me...I was emotionally and sort of physically abused by my mother when I was a teenager...my mother left my family when I was about 9 years old. I went to live with her again when I was about 14. Before that, except for when ...
A. 3 February 2013: Please don't go the drug route. Prescription medication is no more effective in this situation than are pot or alcohol. The benefits are temporary and the better you feel on them the less inclined you'll be to fix the underlying problem.
That ... (read in full...)
The guy I was seeing moved into my shared house and spied on my female roomie. Did I overreact when I told him to move out?
Q. I been seeing a guy for a while, we are not a couple but we get along well, we like each other and we enjoy together. He was living in a place with other people but their lease finished so he asked me if he can move to mine. I agreed with it but I ...
A. 3 February 2013: For someone who claims to be naive you handled this situation perfectly!
You were a bit generous in allowing him to cook his food before he left. Imagine the cheek of him then asking you to cook it for him.
He is junk and kudos to you for... (read in full...)
Should I talk to his ex gf? I feel that he is hiding stuff from me?
Q. My boyfriend who I'v been dating for a few months now seems to be hiding a lot of things,and I think the only woman who would know him inside out would be his ex girlfriend they dated 6 years,is it ok if I talked to her?I know her since we went to ...
A. 1 February 2013: I agree with the others, especially R1 and fi the tree.
You don't need to advertise private issues or involve others. And you don't know what, if any, agenda the ex girlfriend might have so you can't really put too much faith in what she says. An... (read in full...)
I don't know if I should be patient and understanding or just stop this relationship?
Q. Hello, I have reached a point where I am at a lost and I don't know if I should continue this relationship. Well, I agree that he's having serious money problems as he has borrowed money from the bank as well as from friends that he cannot repay. A...
A. 1 February 2013: I've known people who, literally dying of cancer, still express interest in those around them and inquire about their well being.
He's got money problems because he focussed only on himself and the short term. He didn't develope those habits a... (read in full...)
My boyfriend drinks and tells me he's sleeping with other people, what should I do?
Q. Hello i have been with my partner now for 2 1/2 years and has been a very terbulant relationship, he drinks heavily and when he aint arounf me he promises he wont drink and when i phone him and he is drunk on the phone or even before he gets to that ...
A. 1 February 2013: I would discourage you from any further attempts at problem solving. He has proven himself to be dishonest and unreliable, not to mention toxic.
The solution is pretty straight forward. Leave him. I realise it's easier said than done, but it c... (read in full...)
My wife wants to get a house, but she won't help pay!
Q. I have questoin my wife want to get a house and ther is only one income i take care of all the bills as it IS. I tell her she need to helppáy for a house but she dont wont to help ...
A. 1 February 2013: Yep. That pretty much sums it up. Do not explain anything and don't get into any log discussions. Ask her what steps she's taking to make this dream become a reality. Let her do the defending and explaining.
... (read in full...)
I feel as if I go out of my way for everyone and no-one can be bothered when it comes to me.
Q. Its' my birthday today. A milestone. A special one. I've had a tear in my eye most of the day – not because I have reached 40 but because I feel so let down and now I'm feeling that maybe I'm being unreasonable, selfish and ungrateful. Situat...
A. 1 February 2013: To be honest, I have to agree with you that you're being a bit unrealistic here.
I don't put much stock in people's big plans. Not out of cynicism, but an understanding that many people like to dream out loud and sometimes get carried away. I ... (read in full...)
I found a receipt for heart shaped jewelry, so whose got it!
Q. My husband and I are going through a very rough time in our marriage. About a year ago he came to the conclusion that "marriage just wasn't for him". Although things were not great, this totally took me by surprise He later filed for divorce, but ...
A. 1 February 2013: I agree with the aunt who suggested you wait until Valentine's Day before acting on your suspicions.
In the meantime, either hide the receipt in a safe place he can't access or take a copy of it (if it's something you have to replace to avoid ra... (read in full...)
He just cheats on me spirtually every 2 months, but defends himself saying he enjoys being a player...should I marry him?
Q. My boyfriend of 7 month now is driving me crazy with the childishness he do frequently, and by "drives me crazy" i mean insecure! -he is great in bed, if we have free time of 5 hours we simply did it for four hours, like 3 times or so! -very ten...
A. 29 January 2013: I think you should send your boyfriend packing. He's a con man. The fact that he's nice some of the time is all part of the con. If he were mean all of the time he'd be easier to spot and easier to kick to the curb, wouldn't it?
As for his requ... (read in full...)
My ex FWB and I still flirt but now he thinks his g/f is pregnant. I want to help but its painful for me
Q. A few months ago me and a friend ended up admitting we really liked eachother and had a few intimate encounters. However we agreed that due to the fact we are in a band together it would be better if we didn't make it anything serious and he also ...
A. 28 January 2013: I don't know what help you think you can provide either. The girlfriend should get a pregnancy test, but that has nothing to do with you.
OP, this situation is pretty straight forward. You fancy a guy who likes you enough to talk dirty to you b... (read in full...)
Should I ask my friend for permission to sleep with her husband?
Q. Apologies for the length of this but I think it's important to have the details.. the devil is always in the details... Me: I'm single and approaching 50. It's been a few years since my last serious relationship but I'm fine with that. Having see...
A. 21 January 2013: OP, all these details are totally unnecessary because regardless of how you choose to justify it, using your best friend's husband as a sexual outlet is extremely disrespectful not only to her but to their children, whatever they may think of him. ... (read in full...)
I fell for her, and only talked to her to try and get her number. Then I find out she has a boyfriend, so should I try and be friends with her?
Q. We don't know each other well or at all. We have had small talks but that's just it. I fell for her looks. I have asked if I could contact her but she said she has a boyfriend. We won't be seeing each other anymore and I don't know if I should try ...
A. 9 January 2013: Cancel the friendship request.... (read in full...)
I fell for her, and only talked to her to try and get her number. Then I find out she has a boyfriend, so should I try and be friends with her?
Q. We don't know each other well or at all. We have had small talks but that's just it. I fell for her looks. I have asked if I could contact her but she said she has a boyfriend. We won't be seeing each other anymore and I don't know if I should try ...
A. 8 January 2013: Like the others I recommend you not pursue a friendship. You don't have 'friend' feelings for her, her boyfriend won't appreciate it and she will be put in an awkward position. What kind of friend does that?
... (read in full...)
She lost interest in me because I let her pay for her part of the meal on our first date!
Q. I had a situation with a woman I really liked, and need you opinion on this. I 've met this girl in a building that I work at. She works for a different company, and I saw her several times at lunch before we started talking. We just talked for ...
A. 8 January 2013: This is not simply a gender issue.
When you invite someone for lunch or dinner (any meal really) it is generally understood that the person extending the invitation is the one providing that coffee or meal, whether you cook yourself it or buy it. ... (read in full...)
My girl friend is bi-curious and wants a three-some.I'm not sure. Can I have advice on this?
Q. Hi everyone, new member here in need of some help! Background: Me (22), GF (19) Been together since Nov 2012, already in love. Lost my virginity to her (saving myself for someone special, she didn't know I was), she has now had 6 sexual partner...
A. 4 January 2013: Given your view of sex and relationships my advice is to decline the request once and for all. You don't know what you'll want six months or six years from now, but you can always change your mind and re-open the dialogue then. Making it a firm no ... (read in full...)
How can I ask him for another hookup without sounding slutty or needy?
Q. After coming out of a very serious relationship and getting my heart broken i've decided to swear off realtionships for a while and just have fun. So basically at a party I hooked up with one of my male friends and we had pretty awesome sex. The ...
A. 4 January 2013: How long ago was it that you slept with this friend? Have you had any contact with him since? Did he initiate that contact or did you? How discreet is he?
No strings attached sex is an illusion. There are strings, but because nothing is ironed o... (read in full...)
He wants to break up --- is my old engagement ring just an excuse?
Q. I have a boyfriend of 6 months where things have been progressing quite quickly. This morning he called to call off the relationship because he realized 2 days ago that I was wearing an engagement ring from a previous man. Please note that as we ...
A. 4 January 2013: I'm with YouWish 100%.
The ring should have been returned to the ex regardless of why the engagement was called off. It isn't just a piece of jewellery. It's an engagement ring.
Secondly, when you do the wrong thing, you don't try to fix it by... (read in full...)
How do you define "cheating"?
Q. Hello everyone? My question is very simple, and i'm just interested in knowing what your opinions are on this. What do YOU class as cheating? I'm going through a situation right now where i'm wondering whether the lad i'm close to is 'cheeting' o...
A. 4 January 2013: Cheating is when you receive (or get to do) something you would not have received (or been able to do) without deception.
Sometimes it's the WHAT. Other times it's the HOW. ... (read in full...)
My BF has been messaging another girl for 2 months. What should I do?
Q. So I'm on here because I don't quite know what to do. I just found out yesterday on New Year's Day that my boyfriend has been messaging some girl, trying to get into her knickers for the past 2 months. The girl in question sent me the proof. I'm n...
A. 4 January 2013: I think you have to be more discrimminating when choosing your friends. There are plenty of people out there worthy of your respect and admiration. You don't need to settle.
Besides remaining friends is like methadone in that it eases the withdraw... (read in full...)
Is it time? Should I Tell My Friend I Want To Be With Him?
Q. Aunts can you guys help me!! I’m a 21 year old young lady and I want to be with this guy. He's been my friend since high school ( 4 years ) we get alone great! We are very attracted to each other. We've had sex before, when we first met we were ...
A. 3 January 2013: Most welcome. Best of luck.... (read in full...)
I believe it's just lunch. But why not tell his partner that he goes to lunch with women sometimes? Is it cheating?
Q. Ok, this is my question. If a man that you are in a serious relationship with does not tell you that he is having lunch dates with different women (strickly as friends) is that cheating? He always mentions his lunch dates with men, but for some ...
A. 3 January 2013: You're not asking whether or not it's normal for a taken man to go out for lunch with women friends, but whether consistently forgetting to mention them, while always remembering the outings with men friends is cause for alarm. That's correct? ... (read in full...)
My BF has been messaging another girl for 2 months. What should I do?
Q. So I'm on here because I don't quite know what to do. I just found out yesterday on New Year's Day that my boyfriend has been messaging some girl, trying to get into her knickers for the past 2 months. The girl in question sent me the proof. I'm n...
A. 3 January 2013: Show him the door and don't look back. Certainly forgive him for your own mental and spiritual health, but don't take him back. For him to be playing about at this young age is a bad sign. It's not as if he's been weighed down by years of mortgage ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is holidaying with a past FWB!
Q. My boyfriend is going on a holiday in a mixed group, including the girl he cheated on his last girlfriend with. To be fair, he booked this holiday while we were on a short break (we've been together 15 months); though he paid for it a few weeks a...
A. 3 January 2013: Show him the door and don't look back. Do yourself a favour and stop trying to reason with him. The problems in this relationship are well beyond that. He would rather do what feels good than what is good. He knows exactly what he's doing.
You'r... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is overly friendly with another girl, now he's travelling miles away to visit her and has booked a double room......is he cheating?
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles, I'm in a bit of a predicament with my partner right now and I have no idea what to do. We have been dating for five months, almost six, I really like this guy and we spend loads of time together but he met a girl at a festiv...
A. 3 January 2013: It's possible he's telling the truth, but in my opinion unlikely. I'm suspicious for the following reasons:
1. You're not included in these plans (if you'd been invited I think you'd have mentioned it). I get the impression this girl friend i... (read in full...)
Is it time? Should I Tell My Friend I Want To Be With Him?
Q. Aunts can you guys help me!! I’m a 21 year old young lady and I want to be with this guy. He's been my friend since high school ( 4 years ) we get alone great! We are very attracted to each other. We've had sex before, when we first met we were ...
A. 1 January 2013: Your friend may be attracted to you or perhaps he just likes being the only special guy in your life. Either way, he's made his choice and as his friend you need to accept that.
Trying to lure him away from someone else will show him a side of ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's past threesome never bothered me before but now it does
Q. I've been seeing this girl for about a year now. She told me about 6 months ago that she had been involved in a threesome. It'd happened about 15 years ago. It honestly didn't really bother me at all. I know girls experiment and everything and it ...
A. 1 January 2013: I don't think you're experiencing jealousy, bob, but sheer frustration that someone could be so bloody daft. I get it, she was 15 at the time, but I was 15 once too, as were you, as were millions of other people.
She was dumb for agreeing... (read in full...)
A drunken text has me worried that others will find out about it
Q. Dear Cupid, I got drunk and messaged this popular kid in my school I. Didn't say anrhing stupid only that I was drunk and he said bye. But then I stared to text my friend who had a thing with him and she was like what's going on since I was drunk ...
A. 30 December 2012: Moderate your alcohol consumption and stop sending silly texts to people you hardly know. In fact stop sending silly texts period. People will be more inclined to listen to you if you actually have something interesting to say. As for what's ... (read in full...)
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