I feel hurt by his remarks -- am I wrong?
Q. I'm slightly upset and I should not know if I should be. It was my boyfriends birthday. I was laid off, but I had saved some money for this occasion. He knows this, and he is aware of my financial situation. Firstly, he wanted something v...
A. 29 April 2013: Hmmm...that does change things, now doesn't it?... (read in full...)
I feel hurt by his remarks -- am I wrong?
Q. I'm slightly upset and I should not know if I should be. It was my boyfriends birthday. I was laid off, but I had saved some money for this occasion. He knows this, and he is aware of my financial situation. Firstly, he wanted something v...
A. 28 April 2013: Angry might be too strong a word...irritated. I'd be irritated, but not hurt or sad. ... (read in full...)
I feel hurt by his remarks -- am I wrong?
Q. I'm slightly upset and I should not know if I should be. It was my boyfriends birthday. I was laid off, but I had saved some money for this occasion. He knows this, and he is aware of my financial situation. Firstly, he wanted something v...
A. 28 April 2013: I can't say I blame you for feeling put out, though I wouldn't be hurt or sad. I'd be angry.
A birthday is not an occasion to run yourself ragged. Instead of silently and franticaly trying to meet his expectations, you could have simply reminded... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants me to experiment with a woman?
Q. I've been in a relationship for seven months and it's been great for the most part. He recently told me that he thinks every woman should have a sexual experience with another woman, especially if they're in college like myself. He doesn't want to ...
A. 25 April 2013: Your boyfriend is grooming you for a threesome and if that works out, more of them.
This is, quite literally, textbook strategy for a man trying to convince a hesitant woman into agreeing to one. The first step is to convince the women that thi... (read in full...)
Interracial dating question: is he the one with issues or is it me?
Q. I was on an interacial dating site as a black female born and bred in england and was approached by a white man stating he was interested, i asked the question, why interacial dating?, he replied "during the last 50 years english girls have lost ...
A. 24 April 2013: I'd say you were the one with the issues. It was a very defensive and angry response to a pretty benign statement. His view may be biased or tainted, but it's his view and you asked him for it.
I can understand being curious, but question... (read in full...)
Why did he not tell me?
Q. My bf and i started dating newly,recently there was a social school programme for campus students so i told him i would go with my galfriends and i asked him if he would go,he said he wasnt sure but he might...i called him after the programme and he ...
A. 23 April 2013: He wasn't sure whether he was going by the time you and your girlfriends had made your plans, he didn't want to keep you all hanging about awaiting his decision and when he did go he probably didn't want to intrude upon girl time.
I don't se... (read in full...)
Does my Muslim boyfriend love me or is he using me?
Q. I am a catholic woman and have been seeing my muslim boyfirend for over a year now,i am very happy with him,he is originally from Yemen but from the age of ten had lived in cuba, he has been in britain for nearly 4 yrs now, he is still waiting to ...
A. 22 April 2013: I would lean toward not trusting him, even without a wife and child. There are a few things of concern to me here.
He comes from a country/culture and religion with very specific views and expectations of women which have been deeply ingraine... (read in full...)
I created a fake ad on Craigslist to see if my boyfriend would make contact. He did, now what do I do?
Q. A little background info first: my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years. He always told me I was his first love and I'm the first girl he's even considered marriage with and so on. His family has even told me I'm the first ...
A. 22 April 2013: You obviously cannot trust the man so I suggest you put an end to this farce once and for all. Having to monitor someone like this is no way to live.
You could send a brief note to him via Craigslist: 'Apparently you haven't stopped so I'm movi... (read in full...)
Our son's friend lied to his mother about being teased at our house. How can we handle this?
Q. I have a 12 year-old son. Recently we had a friend of his, whom I'll call Joe, over for dinner with a lot of other people. The next day Joe's mom texted my wife and said that Joe didn't like being made fun of at our dinner table. I think my wife ...
A. 22 April 2013: I'm not sure if it's too late to chime in here, but I'm going to anyway.
The boy may be a tad sensitive and interpreted something silly as teasing.
So far you've been on the defensive, without even knowing what, if anything happened. So I r... (read in full...)
My boyfriend constantly accuses me of cheating and I don't know why!
Q. Dear Cupid, I am twenty years old and have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. Shortly after we got together, I became pregnant. Through out out relationship we have had problems as all couples do, but it has been worse here lately. He ...
A. 19 April 2013: You're still stuck because you haven't actually listened to anything anyone has said.
Your boyfriend doesn't really believe you have cheated. He just says that so you will bend over backward trying to prove yourself to him.
The more you ... (read in full...)
Caught boyfriend in a lie, should I confront him?
Q. I just found out that my boyfriend bought a Fleshlight and lied to me about it. I have no problem with him having one, it's not an issue. I do have a problem that he lied about what he got in the mail. I understand he was probably too emb...
A. 18 April 2013: Most welcome. If your boyfriend wanted you to find it, he'd have announced the purchase or at least been honest when you asked. He hid it under the sink because it seemed, to him, to be an ideal temporary hiding place. Not because he subco... (read in full...)
I feel marriage is important but he doesn't
Q. Dear everyone, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years, and I’m almost 36. We’ve lived together for a year. Problem is this: he knows I wanted to get married and have kids. He wants kids, but he doesn’t want to get married. We talked about ...
A. 18 April 2013: I agree with the latter answers. Marriage isn't important to him, but you are so he's prepared to wed to have you in his life. If he thought it was some terrible burden and that you weren't worth it, he wouldn't have agreed to it. He doesn't have to ... (read in full...)
He still thinks I'm a virgin, but I had a horrible experience losing it?
Q. So this guy and I were dating and then he just fell off the face of the earth for a month. He was just so busy etc. So I moved on and met someone new. I met this great guy in the beginning of the month. Things were perfect. So one night this guy and ...
A. 18 April 2013: I have to agree, for the same reasons, with the advice that you be honest about not being a virgin without providing any other details, beyond that it was someone you dated and things didn't work out.
And by being honest I don't mean you make an ... (read in full...)
Disturbed Husband sleep with the alarm to drop of my Brother at work and I got sworn at!
Q. My brother totaled his car recently, occasionally i would give him a ride to work as he have be at work for 6:00am. This morning my husband was obviously annoyed when my clock alarm at 5:am, when i returned home he starting yelling at me and ...
A. 18 April 2013: Most welcome. Best of luck.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend constantly accuses me of cheating and I don't know why!
Q. Dear Cupid, I am twenty years old and have been with my boyfriend for almost two years. Shortly after we got together, I became pregnant. Through out out relationship we have had problems as all couples do, but it has been worse here lately. He ...
A. 18 April 2013: A good place to start would be to stop referring to other women as 'bitches'. If he can falsely you, he can falsely others. Even if any of his exes had cheated, adopting his terms for them just makes you sound like a boorish, chauivist man. It's ... (read in full...)
Caught boyfriend in a lie, should I confront him?
Q. I just found out that my boyfriend bought a Fleshlight and lied to me about it. I have no problem with him having one, it's not an issue. I do have a problem that he lied about what he got in the mail. I understand he was probably too emb...
A. 18 April 2013: If you have no problem with your boyfriend owning a personal sex toy, then there is no reason to make an issue out of it or a spectacle of him.
If you want people to be honest with you then you must earn their trust as well. And you don't earn it ... (read in full...)
Disturbed Husband sleep with the alarm to drop of my Brother at work and I got sworn at!
Q. My brother totaled his car recently, occasionally i would give him a ride to work as he have be at work for 6:00am. This morning my husband was obviously annoyed when my clock alarm at 5:am, when i returned home he starting yelling at me and ...
A. 18 April 2013: I recommend you not initiate any conversation with him. A well timed stoney silence will get your message across far better. Limit your exchanges to that which is absolutely necessary, but don't act pouty. No doubt you're a busy woman, so go abo... (read in full...)
Should I consider an open relationship or break with my boyfriend even though I love him?
Q. I've posted on here before and found the answers to be helpful, so I'm back. My boyfriend of about seven months and I are in love with each other despite our differences, which I don't mind since I actually like him as a person. He doesn't believe ...
A. 16 April 2013: Whenever a man suggests any kind of relaxation or suspenion of the rules, you can take it to the bank he has an agenda. The only reason he offered it is because of the benefits to him, not you. Men aren't that generous when it comes to sex.
Any p... (read in full...)
My bridesmaid bought a shoe a size too big. I'm worried about how she's going to wear it for a couple of hours???
Q. I'm getting married in May. I'm having a bit of an issue. I told my bridesmaids they could pick out whatever shoe they wanted. One of my bridesmaids bought a shoe that is a size too big. I know you can stuff a shoe to make it fit correctly. However ...
A. 16 April 2013: One shoe size up shouldn't make that much of a difference and I agree that this is her problem, not yours. You have enough to handle right now without, as SVC says, micromanaging others.
You could remind your bridesmaids to bring comforta... (read in full...)
I'm thinking of filling for divorce because my husband never backs me when his friend disrespects me!
Q. I am 50year old woman who has been married for 19 years. My husband isis a retiree. We have a 16 year old autistic son. Since the beginning of my marriage, my husband's best friend has been a thorn in our marriage. His best friend is a 70 year old ...
A. 13 April 2013: It sounds like this marriage has outlived it's usefulness. Speak to an attorney, get your ducks in a row and when you're ready, make your move. No need to inform your husband of your plans just yet. It might make things even more difficult. ... (read in full...)
Friend tried to get me to sleep with him, even though I have a boyfriend. Advice?
Q. Okay. Recently I have got back with my ex-boyfriend, things have been okay between us, and I guess for once things are looking up. However there is a slight problem. Me and my boyfr...
A. 4 April 2013: If this truly is sorted out once and for all then I see nothing wrong with keeping the lid on it. Neither you nor your boyfriend HAS to know about each and every person who hits on either of you. Unless it's an ongoing issue. I strongly suggest... (read in full...)
I want to show him I've changed. Shall I write him a letter telling him how sorry I am and how I've changed and see him face to face?
Q. Hi my boyfriend and I were together for three years but he finished with me six months ago after we kept going on breaks and I kept on finishing with him. We had a really good relationship but we both got stuck in a rut. I lost my job and had bill...
A. 4 April 2013: The last thing you need to do is keep chasing a man who has made it clear he doesn't want to see or date you ever again.
The big changes you refer to are superficial anyway. Worthy accomplishments, to be sure, but they are what's on the outside.... (read in full...)
How would you see this situation if it was you? When sober he doesn't want us "official" but when drunk he "loves me" ??
Q. hey guys. after a bit of advice, its really complicated to me but ill try my best to explain it. so, i started working at a job in 2009. I'm a friendly person so got on well with everyone although there was one group i got realy close with, abou...
A. 4 April 2013: If it were me, I would suspect him of trying to groom me to be a friend with benefits. Beyond that I wouldn't invest much time trying to figure him out. If he didn't want to date me, fine. No explanation is required and no consolation prizes would ... (read in full...)
My ex wants me to apologize to his mother for raising my voice to her. Why should I?
Q. my ex have a woman while he was with me. i asked him about he said nothing. i ask him about our relationship he said nothing. i found out and keeping to my self, he have made attempt to pull me in back after the two days i found out. i didn't b...
A. 4 April 2013: There is very little information to go on here. Do you have children with your ex? If you do, and I'm guessing so since there are few other reasons to keep in touch with him or his family, then having a good relationship with them is a wise idea for ... (read in full...)
How can I get out of this unsatisfying relationship? I want him to leave.
Q. Stuck in a Rutt and can't get out! My live in man is 45. We split briefly last year and I now totally regret us getting back together. He set up home on his own after our strained relationship failed due to his abusive behaviour. After almost a yea...
A. 2 April 2013: What is it that's preventing you from turfing him out?
Are you afraid he will follow through on his threat not to see the kids? You can't put yourself in danger just to give your children a father. Even if he treats them better than he treats y... (read in full...)
What is the best way to handle our rude friends?
Q. I'm in an awkward position with a family that we have known for quite a bit. Recently we started doing more outings together as their little boy grew up, and they are more free with their time. Both husband and son act very strange when we inv...
A. 1 April 2013: '....and if I noticed that my daughter ever takes something home from someone's house....' OP, you wouldn't have to teach your daughter this, because it wouldn't, in a millions years, even occur to your daughter to line her pockets with foo... (read in full...)
What is the best way to handle our rude friends?
Q. I'm in an awkward position with a family that we have known for quite a bit. Recently we started doing more outings together as their little boy grew up, and they are more free with their time. Both husband and son act very strange when we inv...
A. 31 March 2013: You haven't mentioned anything about their conduct when they host an event or when they're footing the bill so my guess is they haven't. They're always the guests enjoying the hospitality of others. And this is a fairly recent acquaintance. Am I ... (read in full...)
How do I approach my girlfriend about losing weight?
Q. In the 3 years we have been together my GF has been slowly letting herself go physically to the point where I no longer find her attractive. When we met in college, she was more physically active on a daily basis but now she has an office job wh...
A. 31 March 2013: You might want to save this chat for when your girlfriend brings up the topic herself, which she will undoubtedly do before long since she often complains about her figure.
When she does, you could suggest the South Beach Diet (or some other lo... (read in full...)
My partner says I'm too heavy for sex!
Q. We cannot have sexual intercouse because my female partner has told me that I am too heavy for her. What is the best way to lose weight? Is it a good idea for me to go to the gym? Has this been a common problem for other couples when hav...
A. 31 March 2013: You will lose more weight by eating right than you will by working out, though working out is good for you.
I recommend you try the South Beach Diet (assuming you can buy the book in any British bookstore and I don't see why you can't) or some oth... (read in full...)
How do I approach my girlfriend about losing weight?
Q. In the 3 years we have been together my GF has been slowly letting herself go physically to the point where I no longer find her attractive. When we met in college, she was more physically active on a daily basis but now she has an office job wh...
A. 30 March 2013: I think you should tell her the way you told us. Matter of fact and to the point. The 'nicer' and more circumlocutious you are about it, the more defensive and angry she will likely be.
No disrespect meant to those who have suggested it but I st... (read in full...)
If he refuses to give it up his drinking and his abuse, then would I be right to leave him?
Q. My boyfriend drinks of a weekend...not a problem but when he has a drink he either turns nasty and sometimes violent or the complete opposite...he stinks of beer and i hate it! we are arguing about this issue constantly, his reply to me 'nagging...
A. 30 March 2013: Right to leave him? You'd be foolish not to. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the occasional drink, but if your boyfriend does this regularly and he's nasty or violent then I'm afraid you have what any sane person would call a deal breaker. ... (read in full...)
Could his attitudes potentially drive a wedge between him and me, and affect me because of my own pet loving family?
Q. Hi guys, I am so desperately looking for help So there's this guy I really like. And he expressed he likes me a lot. And everything is leading up to the possibility of us dating, except today he said one thing that makes me worried about ou...
A. 30 March 2013: I've had animal friends all my life and they certainly can be dirty, but I'm willing to take on all the extra work because I love having them around. I can appreciate your friend's sentiments and the fact that he's been honest and up front about ... (read in full...)
Help! Unwanted house guest already taking toll on relationship!
Q. Right, well me and my partner have been living together for about 11 months in our own house. His sister has just broke up with her fella on sunday and she has come to stay here.. When i agreed to this i thought it would be for a week or two. Its ...
A. 28 March 2013: Whose name is on the lease? How are the bills distributed? Doeshe pay most, do you or is it pretty much equal?
I underdstand the value of family, but this is also your home, and she does have somewhere else to go. If this is how it's going to... (read in full...)
I feel like I have no other choice. He's unwilling to change. What can I do to salvage this relationship?
Q. I dont know what I can do to salvage our relationship. I have been in this relationship for 6 years now. At the beginning everything was great. Then we took the next step and I moved 5 hours away to live with him and his 5yr old daughter. Things...
A. 28 March 2013: 'OK well I learned early on that I was going to have to prove that I did love him....' HUGE mistake. You fell for the same tired, cliche old line teenage boys use with girls to get into their pants. The thing is, this tactic only works with ... (read in full...)
Should parents knock before they enter a kid's room?
Q. This is a question to all parents I want to know what do u think of the concept of a) knocking on you kids door before entering their room? 2)How do you get them to open up to you more,what if they are constantly texting,do u check their...
A. 24 March 2013: 1. Yes, I would knock on a child’s door (and wait for a response) before entering. It’s common courtesy and I see no reason why any adult needs to witness a 9-13 year old getting dressed or undressed (or masturbating for that matter). Besides, ... (read in full...)
I followed my husband and caught him at a brothel. He says he wanted to be caught??
Q. We have had huge financial issues, loss of business, things really stressful. all this definitely took a toll on our lives. Today I did something either brave or some would say stupid. When our business was going down there were allig...
A. 24 March 2013: I don’t believe in this ‘wanted to get caught’ business. That’s just what we tell ourselves to justify whatever faith we have, or want to have, in the offender. People who want to get caught turn themselves in. His confession was strategic. What ... (read in full...)
How do I get out of my prom date to take another girl that is nicer to me?
Q. Hi, I have a senior prom problem. I'm a senior in High School, and there is a girl who I am "best friends" with, who I had feelings for, that I asked to prom, and she said yes. The girl doesn't go to my school, and seeing her is a problem. Lately, ...
A. 22 March 2013: My guess is this 'best friend' of yours wants out of this arrangement as much as you do so I wouldn't be too worried about hurting her. Instead of just blowing her off though, I would give her a chance to address her behaviour in case she simply ... (read in full...)
I'm thinking of getting back with an ex but he will not tell his FWB that its over
Q. I had been dating a guy from work for about 5 months when I broke up with him. I broke up with him because he wasn't treating me the way I deserved to be treated - lying to me, not making me a priority, not being there for me when I needed him, etc. ...
A. 15 March 2013: File him under 'History' and move on.
You broke up for a reason. He should not even have opened a dialogue with you, let alone discussed getting back together until he had finished with the other woman.
People are not confused about what they ... (read in full...)
Should I get everything off my chest or stay silent?
Q. Should I get everything of my chest or stay silent? I was friends with a guy a for couple of years and we had "kisses and cuddles" on numerous occasions, it wasn't anything serious, we were both going through some stuff and I thought we were ...
A. 15 March 2013: Maintaining a stoney silence would, in my opinion, be more effective than saying anything.
Giving him a piece of your mind gives him a chance to read you and plan accordingly. He knows you're not pleased, but without hearing from you he really d... (read in full...)
He sent me a naked photo with a comment about his penis. I was unimpressed. Shall I just give up? What do you think he's playing at?
Q. Hi, I have been dating this guy for nearly a month now. We had three dates only. First one, we just got to know each other over coffee and it was good, we liked each other! Then, before the second date, he wooed me by texts, we then saw each ...
A. 10 March 2013: I think you should dump him without another word.
His behaviour was appalling and there is no excuse for it. There is nothing he can do to redeem himself here and keeping him around cheapens you. Do yourself and the next woman a favour and bloc... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's reluctance to add me to Facebook has made me suspicious
Q. I never thought I would be writing to DearCupid about this kind of question. Usually when I see questions about facebook, my advice is to just get over it because it's just facebook. Relationsips shouldn't be based on what he/she liked on someone ...
A. 9 March 2013: I agree that she's not neccesarily up to no good. She may not be ready yet, or she may concerned that you might be one of those overly sensitive types when you do finally see her friends list. As you've pointed out, it wouldn't be the first time ... (read in full...)
I need some techniques on how to control my anxiety
Q. Hi ya all, I really need some help with building my low self-esteem. I'm always anxious that my boyfriend is going to leave me or pulling away that I can't seriously go on like this. If he doesn't text me I feel physically sick and worried its ...
A. 9 March 2013: Your CBT will cover a lot of this, but here are a couple of things you can do in the meantime.
1. Reduce your caffeine intake (that includes chocolate).
2. Exercise is a good outlet for all that pent up energy. I'm not talking about a 2 hour h... (read in full...)
Does this woman really want to be with me?
Q. Ok, so here's the deal. It's very difficult for me to write about this, but I am in desperate need of some impartial view of the whole situation. I've been seeing this girl for the last five months, almost on a daily basis. Every time we are toge...
A. 9 March 2013: I think she is sincere about her intentions with you, and she isn't deliberately trying to string you along, if that's part of what you're asking. However she is not being entirely honest or realistic with herself.
She has spent nearly a decade w... (read in full...)
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