What makes someone like my husband so immature and extreme in his reactions?
Q. Why is my husband so selfish? He was the oldest of 8 kids but I swear he acts like an only child sometimes; someone who never learned how to compromise, or share things, or accept another person's ideas and viewpoints. Case in point; we bought some ...
A. 8 July 2013: OP, your husband may be more sensitive to compromising, sacrificing and sharing because, as an oldest child, particularly in a large family, he`s done more than his share of compromising, sacrificing and sharing. There are some benefits to being the ... (read in full...)
My friend thinks I'm spoiling my husband.
Q. Dear cupid My friend Debbie moved an hour and a half away a few years ago so we don't get to see each other as often as we use to. Debbie wants me to come and spent a weekend with her but my husband feels like why i cant just go and return ho...
A. 2 July 2013: OP, if you knew your husband would be perfectly happy whatever you chose to do, would you spend a few days with your friend?
He is a grown man and he doesn't need you to feed him or change his nappy. If he can't cook, then surely he can make him... (read in full...)
How do I emotionally cope with the aftermath of a C-section?
Q. I'm 37 weeks pregnant and just went for my weekly doctor's appointment. I found out a few things: my baby is already nearly 8lbs and breech and I'm 1cm dilated. I had hopes the entire time of having a natural birth, but the doctors aren't ...
A. 2 July 2013: I had a C section in late 1991. I had to wait a little longer before I could start working out again (maybe a few weeks), but within a few short months I was back down to 108 pounds.
My sister's first child was delivered by C section and her seco... (read in full...)
I won't steal a woman from another man, but where do I go from here?
Q. About two years ago I met a couple in one of my classes. I got close to the woman because she just seemed on my wavelength and she actually tried talking to me more than the guy did. I stayed friendly with her, never having more than friendly banter ...
A. 27 June 2013: Hi OP. I haven't been and for a while and didn't realise you'd responded.
Your situation is far more common than you might realise. The bottom line is your lady friend has a boyfriend, she isn't leaving him any time soon, regardless of what she... (read in full...)
I won't steal a woman from another man, but where do I go from here?
Q. About two years ago I met a couple in one of my classes. I got close to the woman because she just seemed on my wavelength and she actually tried talking to me more than the guy did. I stayed friendly with her, never having more than friendly banter ...
A. 13 June 2013: Red flags all over this.
OP, this may be a unique experience for you, but this situation is so common it is cliche. I daresay you do have many similarities, but you also have some glaring differences which will become a problem when the exciteme... (read in full...)
I want my mother to respect my choice to remain with my boyfriend
Q. I've been with my boyfriend around 5 months. It has not been the most perfect relationship, he has a short temper which has caused a number of arguments. I know that he is probably not my life long partner, and have considered leaving the ...
A. 13 June 2013: OP, if you want your mother (or anyone else) to respect your choices then you have to be seen making good ones.
And this respect you want goes both ways. She has valid reasons to dislike your boyfriend. She doesn't want that kind of person i... (read in full...)
Date didn't even call or text to say he wasn't coming for our date!
Q. Me and a guy suppose to be going to the movies but he didn't come pick me up from my house, he told me he would come and we already made plans, I'm already dressed waiting for him but he didn't show up... He didn't even text me or call to tell me he ...
A. 9 June 2013: Very low class of him...unless there was some kind of emergency.
Do not contact him, ever. An apology is only valid if there was some extreme medical emergency and he contacts you at the first available opportunity. Face to face isn't necessar... (read in full...)
Is it rude to ask someone about a scar?
Q. Is it rude to ask about a scar? I've had a tummy tuck and lost 20ilbs. after. I am happy with my physique now and enjoy wearing bikinis. I had a friend ask me the other day about a 1inch scar from the surgery. I just mentioned I had ...
A. 3 June 2013: You're right. It was very nosey but your response to it was perfect.... (read in full...)
Should I tell him about my older sister? Or is it too soon?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for a month now,we are exclusive and it was love for him from the very start and he has expressed quite a number of times both thru words and actions how he feels for me,I haven't told him those three 'magic words' ...
A. 3 June 2013: I agree with the others in that you are moving way too quickly here. One month is not nearly long enough to declare love and share personal details about oneself.
People who rush intimacy, tend to get hurt more easily and lose interest much soo... (read in full...)
Every time I tell him of my feelings for him he stops contacting me
Q. I am 34 year old woman, been single for 5yrs. Mainly it is because of trust issue. Well last year I find my self attractive to a young man at my job (he is 26). We became good friends but I never told him that I had a crush or had feeling for him ...
A. 2 June 2013: The right thing to do here is stop telling him you like him. He heard and understood you the first two times. He has made it clear that nothing will come of this.
'but you never know' is not an invitation to pursue him. It is most likely his way ... (read in full...)
He wants to do sexual things and I do to but am unsure of how and what to do
Q. I've liked a guy for about 5-6 months and we've recently told each other that we liked each other. He said he likes me and wants to do things and become more than friends and i agreed. However, i have never done anything sexual with a guy before, ...
A. 1 June 2013: OP, before you proceed any further ask yourself some questions.
What do you think he means by 'more than friends'? What do you think it means? What do you expect to happen after you 'do things' with him?
When a guy introduces the topic of sex... (read in full...)
I see my marriage as an obligation, not something that I can enjoy and have fun being in
Q. Hello! After a lot of time that i haven't seen my ex-boyfriend, i think that i don't really feel the need to be with him anymore. We only talk some times in the phone in a friendly way. We remain friends after all, but i don't like a more intimate ...
A. 29 May 2013: Picture the life you want to have. What does it look like? What are you doing? Then ask yourself what is stopping you from doing those things, or some of those things now.
When you have more of the life you want, you'll be happier, and more con... (read in full...)
Does my sons dad love our son or is he just hanging around for sex from me?
Q. I met my ex almost four years ago. We had known each other a few mnth and i fell pregnant. He is from africa and when i met him he had two yrs before visa ran out.we had a pretty good relationship. But the situation was hard i didnt think he wa...
A. 25 May 2013: His reasoning and motive are blatantly obvious. You don't need to sort anything out. You just need to accept it and act accordingly.
He is not interested in being a family man. If he were, you two would have married long ago. Don't fool yourself... (read in full...)
Is it normal for ex wives/husbands going on vacation together normal?
Q. I am on my third marriage/my wife also her third. My wife is going on vacation with her grown kids, grandchildren and with her ex husband from her first marriage. The ex is bringing his girlfriend also. I just find it strange that she would want to ...
A. 25 May 2013: Ok, I was just speaking to my mum (age 70) and ran your scenario past her. She agrees with you and thinks your wife's choice to accompany her ex, and his girlfriend on vacation is tacky and inappropriate. So having heard her explanation I humbly eat ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for ex wives/husbands going on vacation together normal?
Q. I am on my third marriage/my wife also her third. My wife is going on vacation with her grown kids, grandchildren and with her ex husband from her first marriage. The ex is bringing his girlfriend also. I just find it strange that she would want to ...
A. 25 May 2013: Not sure how normal it is, but it's not unheard of. I've known of a number older people who travel with an ex and their grown children.
The dynamics in this case differ from those of a much younger couple still of child producing age. Couples ... (read in full...)
If he was backing off from me, why go to such lengths to show that this girl is just his friend?
Q. I have a quick question about male behavior. I have a friend i work with.. He was real flirty and and a big group of us went out and he was all about me. I didn't really think a whole lot on it since he was going through a divorce and we were all ...
A. 25 May 2013: If the man only wants something casual then he won't want his new lady friend reading more into it because of comments made by others. His response may have been to her as much as they were to you.
And I don't think he went out of his way at all, ... (read in full...)
I confronted my friend about never paying when we go out together. Was this the right way to deal with the situation? Please advise?
Q. I have a friend who never pays for her drinks when we go out to bars. She is the one that ussualy drives, so I always buy her first drink, but then she kind of assumes that the whole nite is on me. It happened already so many times, that I fi...
A. 25 May 2013: She can stand and look at you and let you go ahead of her all she wants but that doesn't mean you have to pay for her. You pay your bill and when she turns to leave with you, you can say 'You forgot to pay your bill' in a non accusing tone, as if it ... (read in full...)
How do I know if he has another girl?
Q. I'm 22. my guy is is 27 and we've been dating almost 4years. We both see each other we pay each other visit ,call each other on phone and joke but now his attitude towards me change suddenly, i don't seems to get him any longer if i pay him visi...
A. 24 May 2013: No need to break up since, apparently, you aren't his girlfriend and you'd look pretty foolish.
Moving without telling you speaks volumes on its own. Avoiding your calls and showing no interest in you beyond planning your next visit, which I ... (read in full...)
I confronted my friend about never paying when we go out together. Was this the right way to deal with the situation? Please advise?
Q. I have a friend who never pays for her drinks when we go out to bars. She is the one that ussualy drives, so I always buy her first drink, but then she kind of assumes that the whole nite is on me. It happened already so many times, that I fi...
A. 24 May 2013: I wouldn't follow the advice of the other woman friend who was present, since she simply relies on others to sense her thoughts. You can't control how people interpret your actions, but you can control what you say.
The friend in question said her... (read in full...)
Why do guys pay flirty, promiscuous girls so much attention?
Q. Do guys usually like the flirty and promiscuous type of girls? I need some advice because I hate to say I'm a little jealous of this girl I know who gets so much attention from my guy friends and just a lot of guys in general. She sleeps around wi...
A. 24 May 2013: Further to what has been said by the others, I'll tell you about my daughter's learning experience.
Like you, she was more modest and reserved while other girls flirted outrageously, some slept around and not surprisingly it was they who received... (read in full...)
I'm drawn to my girlfriend's friend
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years now. We have had our ups and downs like anybody and currently we have been getting along great and having a blast together. But for the past two years now, I have not been able to stop thi...
A. 23 May 2013: You're drawn to her because she is physically and intellectually attractive, seemingly patient and personable, and because you have no obligation to her beyond that of common courtesy.
Not that your girlfriend is unreasonable, but she has grea... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of 2 years still doesn't want me to meet his friends
Q. Hi!! Please help me, I can't understand this, my boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years, my issue is that he doesn't want me to meet most of his friends. (they are all male and all of them are students just like us, no drugs...
A. 21 May 2013: I can understand a certain amount of compartmentalization; not mixing business with pleasure, not bringing work home, not mixing some friends with others, but this is a bit much.
If there is nothing else about his behaviour that gives you cause to... (read in full...)
At the moment, I am not ready for a threesome to happen in our relationship. My Bf would like it to happen. How long into a relationship before agreeing to it?
Q. Hi, Ok I would love some fair and informative advice here on my boyfriend wanting to have a FFM threesome. We have been going out with each other for 8 months and moved in together three months ago. At the beginning of the relationship he...
A. 21 May 2013: Clarification: He doesn't want a threesome just to trigger your insecurity.
What I meant was, if you were giving him credit for being honest from the start, don't because his timing was not motivated by a desire to build trust through honesty,... (read in full...)
Should I be worried if my boyfriend asked a girl on facebook for her number?
Q. My boyfriend of almost 5 months asked another girl on Facebook for her number. We go to different schools but see each other every weekend. I know this because I went on his Facebook to post something really sweet and it popped up in a little chat ...
A. 21 May 2013: '....like the people in previous generations writing private love letters then sticking them in the local saloon's window'
I like that analogy.... (read in full...)
New relationship advice needed! How much togetherness is too much? Do I push back on the alcohol issue?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 2 months. We met at work and so far everything has gone fairly well. So far, we only have 2 issues that cause a little tension. When we first started talking as friends, she mentioned that there was an ...
A. 21 May 2013: Everyone has their preference, but every day is way too much for me. It allows little to no time alone or with friends or family. There is no room for the individual to grow and if the individual stagnates, the relationship stagnates. Twice or three ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to call me a different name during sex!
Q. Ok so now my Long term boyfriend has asked if he could call me by another girls name during sex. Im very uncomfrotable and seriously am thinking of breaking us up. Is this normal??? And then when I told him no he went soft during sex. Lost his hard ...
A. 21 May 2013: I suspected there was more to this than just a name, as did the others no doubt.
You and your boyfriend's better days are behind you. Time to look ahead and move on.
... (read in full...)
How do I tell her no without hurting her feelings?
Q. i've known this girl for @ least more than a year now and we've been friends, im 18 n she's 24. I like her so much and appreciates the friendship. I hav a bf, a guy i so much love n will not like to loose. To the story, the way she behaves wen im ...
A. 21 May 2013: Which one was it? You were so turned on or you went along with it because you were afraid of her reaction? If she hasn't made any more advances then there is nothing to say. Consider it bullet dodged. If you're going to continue some kind of ass... (read in full...)
Sex with him is too long and too rough! How do I make him understand?
Q. I just met someone , and we started having sex very fast. He is much younger and very good looking, and I know that it won't last long. It's funny how invites me to lunches and drinks, I didn't even expect this. I thought it would be somethi...
A. 21 May 2013: Ok...you wouldn't say 'I'm in a good mood' when you're in pain. I meant that one in general. In this case you could have said 'Good, because I'm in pain and I don't need the extra headache.' If he enjoys sex and sees that sulking prevents sex, he ... (read in full...)
Sex with him is too long and too rough! How do I make him understand?
Q. I just met someone , and we started having sex very fast. He is much younger and very good looking, and I know that it won't last long. It's funny how invites me to lunches and drinks, I didn't even expect this. I thought it would be somethi...
A. 21 May 2013: 'sweety, I am hurting down there, can we do it tomorrow because I need to recover'.......You sound like you're trying to coax a four year into eating his peas.
If he's old enough to attend college, drink alcohol and have sex then he is a man. Tre... (read in full...)
My co-worker cannot take a hint!
Q. One of my co workers gave me a ride home one time. On our way there, my neighbor called me and said they were having a party in our building and to come join them. So I asked my co worker if he wanted to join the party and he said yes. I was just ...
A. 21 May 2013: I think the best thing you can do is be patient, keep doing what you're doing and let time do the rest.
People see that you've been professional and mature with him and he's been emotional and vocal. It's not going to take them long to figure o... (read in full...)
Why do I want my ex back? Why can't I accept that its over?
Q. I am 18 years of age and my ex boyfriend is 22. We have been together 2years today. We have been split up for 3 weeks tomorrow. My ex split up with me because he said he needed a break because we had been living together for a few weeks because I ...
A. 21 May 2013: When you say you lived together, am I correct in assuming that means he has his own place and does not live with his parents? You've made no mention of them.
Well, I'm a bit more sympathetic to your boyfriend. He has every right to come and go a... (read in full...)
My sister in laws children never listen to anything their told?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am 18 weeks pregnant and experiencing LOADS of hormones. Please no judging on this questions because I know that if I wasn't pregnant and feeling all of these emotions that I would never be feeling like this. In every article I'...
A. 21 May 2013: I have to agree. This is bothersome even on a good day and not a hormone issue at all. It's good that your sister in law addresses their bad behaviour, so that is half the battle, but it really does take a village to raise a child. Tradition... (read in full...)
He keeps promising to marry me but seven years later...nothing
Q. Hi all. I've dated my boyfriend for 7 years an we've even bought a house together cause we were both tired of him renting small places. My problem is he forever promises to marry me an when the time comes he become agressive. On the past 4 months I...
A. 19 May 2013: This relationship has long since run it's course.
If I were to take a guess, I'd say that he is either not working or not contributing much (or as much as you are) to the running of the household and he hasn't ended things because he's enjoying... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to call me a different name during sex!
Q. Ok so now my Long term boyfriend has asked if he could call me by another girls name during sex. Im very uncomfrotable and seriously am thinking of breaking us up. Is this normal??? And then when I told him no he went soft during sex. Lost his hard ...
A. 19 May 2013: YouWish summed it up perfectly.
I can't think of any sexual encounter in which I would allow a man to refer to me by another woman's name, celebrity or not. If the person you're with wants to imagine himself with someone else, then he should p... (read in full...)
At the moment, I am not ready for a threesome to happen in our relationship. My Bf would like it to happen. How long into a relationship before agreeing to it?
Q. Hi, Ok I would love some fair and informative advice here on my boyfriend wanting to have a FFM threesome. We have been going out with each other for 8 months and moved in together three months ago. At the beginning of the relationship he...
A. 18 May 2013: Sex is not just some emotionless act, regardless of who you are or how casually you treat it. If it were just about orgasmic relief, or a release of tension, we’d all stay home and masturbate. It’s cheaper, safer and more efficient. Sex ... (read in full...)
I feel hurt by his remarks -- am I wrong?
Q. I'm slightly upset and I should not know if I should be. It was my boyfriends birthday. I was laid off, but I had saved some money for this occasion. He knows this, and he is aware of my financial situation. Firstly, he wanted something v...
A. 29 April 2013: Hmmm...that does change things, now doesn't it?... (read in full...)
I kept waiting for him to leave his g/f but he never really did so I ended things. Did I do the right thing?
Q. I'm confused that I already made a mistake as he asked me to wait for him to breakup with girlfriend of 6 years he told me they are in verge of breaking up but I didnt do it. I just stoped waiting and said goodbye a month ago. I've waited for him to ...
A. 29 April 2013: You did the right thing. It will hurt for a while, you understandably miss him, but that will get easier with time.
... (read in full...)
I feel hurt by his remarks -- am I wrong?
Q. I'm slightly upset and I should not know if I should be. It was my boyfriends birthday. I was laid off, but I had saved some money for this occasion. He knows this, and he is aware of my financial situation. Firstly, he wanted something v...
A. 28 April 2013: Angry might be too strong a word...irritated. I'd be irritated, but not hurt or sad. ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to kiss others if you are dating but not exclusive?
Q. Honest opinions on this, if you are taking a girl out on dates, so you are dating now. Is it okay to still kiss other girls, or does that count as cheating even if she isn't your girlfriend? I don't mean a lot of dates only about 2 maybe 3, but s...
A. 28 April 2013: YouWish said it perfectly.
Just one point though...circular dating isn't actually a modern thing. People in the 40's and 50's, for example, didn't become exclusive after just one date. It was understood that both parties might date others u... (read in full...)
Should I be worried if my boyfriend asked a girl on facebook for her number?
Q. My boyfriend of almost 5 months asked another girl on Facebook for her number. We go to different schools but see each other every weekend. I know this because I went on his Facebook to post something really sweet and it popped up in a little chat ...
A. 28 April 2013: I agree with YouWish and the anonymous reader (re sappy Facebook posts).
In days past people seemed more conscienscious of other's boundaries and the appearance of proprety so I would not have thought anything of it then. Having read of flirting... (read in full...)
I feel hurt by his remarks -- am I wrong?
Q. I'm slightly upset and I should not know if I should be. It was my boyfriends birthday. I was laid off, but I had saved some money for this occasion. He knows this, and he is aware of my financial situation. Firstly, he wanted something v...
A. 28 April 2013: I can't say I blame you for feeling put out, though I wouldn't be hurt or sad. I'd be angry.
A birthday is not an occasion to run yourself ragged. Instead of silently and franticaly trying to meet his expectations, you could have simply reminded... (read in full...)
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