Do cheaters ever change?
Q. I've just met a Man and during a conversation we were having he explained that he had been in 2 marriages and 1 8 year defacto relationship. He continued to say he had been unfaithful with 2 women, 1, his first wife and 2 a short term ...
A. 17 October 2013: Ok, now even if he has the best of intentions and he fully believes he will never cheat again. You, assuming you are the original poster, know that he has cheated. Not once, but twice over a sustained period of time. Are you ever going to feel as ... (read in full...)
Do cheaters ever change?
Q. I've just met a Man and during a conversation we were having he explained that he had been in 2 marriages and 1 8 year defacto relationship. He continued to say he had been unfaithful with 2 women, 1, his first wife and 2 a short term ...
A. 17 October 2013: Anonymous female, I've said in other posts that I don't subscribe to the belief that once a cheater always a cheater and that they are all selfish users. You have to take each case as it comes.
There are those married to a terminally ill person, ... (read in full...)
I wouldn't sign the pre-nuptual agreement, so now he wants a post-nup
Q. Husband wanted us to sign prenuptials(stating that in the event of a divorce, everyone will walk away with what they had prior to the marriage.) before we got married 2 year ago. I refused though he vehemently asked for it. Well, he has requested ...
A. 17 October 2013: Forgot about that one. Good point. If his finances are hidden then so too are his liabilities in which case you might want to sign a pre-nup after all.
Speak to an attorney first.
Personally I'd feel very insecure about this whole arrangemen... (read in full...)
I wouldn't sign the pre-nuptual agreement, so now he wants a post-nup
Q. Husband wanted us to sign prenuptials(stating that in the event of a divorce, everyone will walk away with what they had prior to the marriage.) before we got married 2 year ago. I refused though he vehemently asked for it. Well, he has requested ...
A. 17 October 2013: After thinking of it a bit more, I say don't bother signing it but don't bother getting into a discussion about it. There is no harm in consulting an attorney though for your own peace of mind.
Your husband was obviously willing to marry you desp... (read in full...)
Said some nasty things while drunk and he won't accept my apology
Q. I met this guy a few weeks ago while I was away on a hen. We clicked instantly and he came to visit me in Ireland at the weekend..He is 32 and I am 37 The first few days were amazing. We got on brilliantly. On Saturday we went out all day drinking...
A. 17 October 2013: I'm not a night club person but based on what I've read and heard about how people behave at them, I'm inclined to think this guy should have erred on the side of caution and not danced with other women.
However, I also think your reaction... (read in full...)
Do cheaters ever change?
Q. I've just met a Man and during a conversation we were having he explained that he had been in 2 marriages and 1 8 year defacto relationship. He continued to say he had been unfaithful with 2 women, 1, his first wife and 2 a short term ...
A. 17 October 2013: Yes and yes.
People can and do change all the time. Sometimes for the better, other times for worse. And yes, past behaviour is often a strong indicator of future behaviour. Not helpful, is it?
In your case I believe the man's honesty is meant... (read in full...)
I wouldn't sign the pre-nuptual agreement, so now he wants a post-nup
Q. Husband wanted us to sign prenuptials(stating that in the event of a divorce, everyone will walk away with what they had prior to the marriage.) before we got married 2 year ago. I refused though he vehemently asked for it. Well, he has requested ...
A. 17 October 2013: Before signing any legally binding agreement speak to an attorney. Some will offer a free half hour consultation. ... (read in full...)
I don't know if he likes me since we text and I can't see his body language!
Q. I like this guy but I rarely see him so idk how to tell if he likes me. Usually we only talk through text messages so I cant really look for body language. How do I know if he likes me without directly asking him?...
A. 15 October 2013: Not enough information to go on here.
It would depend on how often you talk, what you talk about and who initiates the communication.
I'm inclined to believe he doesn't feel the same for you as you do for him otherwise he'd want to talk on ... (read in full...)
I'm confused about my education and life choices!
Q. so i moved to Leeds about a year ago to live with my dad and his gf, a year later i hate living ere the only reason that im staying here is cause im in my final year of college and i have met new friends and met my girlfriend as well. I want to live ...
A. 15 October 2013: Honeypie has raised some valid questions. Before you plunge into yet more schooling you'll have to decide what kind of job you're hoping to land, find out if there is actually a demand for it, whether or not the courses you're planning on taking ... (read in full...)
He treated me badly so why do I feel guilty for letting him go?
Q. I have been seeing a man for 5 months now. The last two months have been especially stressful. He has subjected me to the "silent treatment" for over a month and just recently started cursing towards me. On Thursday I was trying to text h...
A. 15 October 2013: I said LIKE a tool.
We'll just have to agree to disagree about what we think is reasonable. But bear in mind I'm not the one whose boyfriend is telling her to give him space. If your style was working you wouldn't be here, would you? Food for thou... (read in full...)
I keep my late partner's Facebook page active -- is this wrong?
Q. I had created a Facebook profile for my partner and lover of two years and he recently passed away. I definitely do not want to memorialize his profile because I just dont want to believe hes gone yet. So I am still logging in to his profile and ...
A. 15 October 2013: Nope. Neither wrong nor insane. In fact perfectly understandable and quite common.
Grief is a process. You learn to let go bit by bit. You know he's passed away and you're not acting under any illusions. So I don't see anything unhealthy or insan... (read in full...)
He treated me badly so why do I feel guilty for letting him go?
Q. I have been seeing a man for 5 months now. The last two months have been especially stressful. He has subjected me to the "silent treatment" for over a month and just recently started cursing towards me. On Thursday I was trying to text h...
A. 15 October 2013: Thanks for the follow up. Ok, first off, if a boyfriend ignored me, made no attempt to contact me for two weeks, he would no longer be my boyfriend. People I know and aunts and uncles here have said something similar (in other threads). Yet yo... (read in full...)
I think I might have caught him in a lie ...
Q. This will probably sound ridiculous but I need opinions! My partner and I have been happy together for 3 years. Last night he gave me a lift to a friends house for some drinks and as we were in the car I noticed his car ticked over to 10,000 miles ...
A. 14 October 2013: It does seem odd, but not really enough to take any drastic action over. I would have assumed he ran a few errands that weren't even worth a special mention, but he's adamantly denied even that.
You've already mentioned it, he's responde... (read in full...)
He's lost all hope of getting a job in the next placement drive!
Q. I am an engineering student currently in my final year of graduation. As such, placement drives of various firms are going on in my institution. Fortunately or unfortunately, I got placed in a leading fir in the first drive itself. But my boyfriend ...
A. 14 October 2013: I'm assuming that he if doesn't secure a position in the third drive he still has hope of securing one somewhere at some point in his life, yes? I mean, this isn't the last chance he will ever have of securing a position somewhere, correct?
Somet... (read in full...)
Signs that your boyfriend isn't over his ex?
Q. This may be a stupid question but what are some signs or how do you know if your boyfriend is not over his ex girlfriend? I really don't want to jump to conclusions or anything but I just have this feeling that my boyfriend still misses and has f...
A. 14 October 2013: It might be more helpful for you to list the reasons you suspect he may not be over his ex and get our thoughts on those.
How long ago did they break up?
How long were they together?
What was their relationship like, generally speaking?
What ... (read in full...)
If a girl is just not interested why make excuses for putting things off
Q. There is a girl I like. We went out once. Ever since then whenever I causally ask her out she keeps making excuses. Some I can believe like she says "Friday is her family day." And other excuses like that. The one she uses a lot though is that she ...
A. 14 October 2013: Tisha's answer sums it up. I like that one best.
Rejecting someone is difficult for most people, but especially so for those who think it's their responsibility to keep everyone happy.
I think you should leave it alone now and stop listening t... (read in full...)
Should I go to the doctor to prove I am NOT mentally ill?
Q. I have posted on here before about my situation. Abusive ex, left our son in wet clothes, we had a row about it, then he said he never wanted anymore contact, now he has changed his mind, and I have said no, as I want supervised visits, so now he w...
A. 14 October 2013: No, I do not think you should visit a doctor to prove you're not mentally ill. Doing so suggests there may be some validity to his claims and that his voice carries or should carry more weight than yours. If people want to believe him, don't make it ... (read in full...)
He treated me badly so why do I feel guilty for letting him go?
Q. I have been seeing a man for 5 months now. The last two months have been especially stressful. He has subjected me to the "silent treatment" for over a month and just recently started cursing towards me. On Thursday I was trying to text h...
A. 14 October 2013: OP, I guess I'm going against the grain here but when I read your post the word 'needy' came to mind.
The man gave you the silent treatment for over a month, yet you stuck around. You text him while he's at work expecting an immediate response... (read in full...)
Amazing fantasies of how hot our three-way could be!
Q. I am an “out bisexual woman” but men often mistake me as lesbian. I have a gal-friend (who’s just a friend) that I’m emotionally close to, so much so that we often hug and kiss on the cheek. She recently hooked up with a hot great guy that I know ...
A. 14 October 2013: You don't. It's that simple.
Part of the reason you are such good friends is you haven't clouded things with sex. Your friend knows you're bisexual but she trusts you and thinks that unlike with her guy friends she doesn't have to worry about yo... (read in full...)
Does my husband take revenge by flirting?
Q. My husband flirts with other girls...Acc to him nothing wrong in it.am the one who think inappropriate...I love him a lot.for this behavior am feeling very angry..till now. He did not do any mistake...but. If. He really loves me,why would he ...
A. 14 October 2013: He flirts with women because he likes the attention and wants to keep his options open. It isn't an act of revenge but he's quite happy to let you think it is because in his mind it absolves him of any wrong doing.
OP, men who openly flirt wi... (read in full...)
Why would an ex say "we should have a relationship with love and compasion because we have history"?
Q. Why would an ex say "we should have a relationship with love and compasion because we have history." he left the marriage for another woman who he has been with for over 5 yrs. now. there were other women before her. He is extremely dishones...
A. 12 October 2013: I believe things on his end might be a bit rocky at present and he is preparing you to be his security blanket should the need arise. Relationship/financial troubles, that sort of thing. I think your kids have little to do with it.
He may want to ... (read in full...)
We broke up because of facebook! Who's right?
Q. So a few days ago my girlfriend randomly starts acting cold and won't tell me what's wrong initially. She then spills the beans and tells me that she saw me on Facebook liking photos and statuses of girls that she knows I used to talk to. We ...
A. 12 October 2013: Whether or not 'liking' someone's photos is crossing a line depends upon the circumstances in which it is being done and the photos being 'Liked'.
Same gender friends, relatives 'liking' benign photos is acceptable.
'Liking' pictures (benign... (read in full...)
Am I a stalker for sharing my crush's pictures on facebook?
Q. I used to have a crush whose pics I shared on Facebook and that person got angry with me for that very reason. Am I a stalker for that? ...
A. 12 October 2013: Posting her pictures does not make you a stalker, but it is crossing the line. Would you appreciate it if someone pasted your photo to every telephone pole in the country? And without your permission? Well, you made her photos available to everyone ... (read in full...)
My friend probably gave her one-night-stand guy chlamydia (he doesn't know it might be from her) and now I'm dating this guy. How do I ask him to get checked without exposing my friend?
Q. Hi all, I'm in a sticky situation! Straight to the point, I started university 18 months ago and quickly became good friends with a girl on my course. Since then we have been like best friends, we clicked instantly. She happens to be a girl ...
A. 11 October 2013: You are correct in that it's her place to inform sexual partners she may be infected. But since she isn't doing that, then it is absolutely within your right to tell him yourself, if you know the person well and you're planning to sleep with him ... (read in full...)
Am I giving him the wrong idea when we kiss and things? How do I tell him I want a serious commitment before I give him my v-card? How do I know he's the right one?
Q. I want to lose my virginity, but I'm afraid. I love this guy but we're not together, ive known him for some years and we recently decided to start talking a few months ago. I knew from years ago that he was the one I wanted to lose it too, but I wa...
A. 30 September 2013: If you want to get the measure of a guy and where you stand with him, try this little exercise. Substitute sexual terms with financial ones and replay your conversations. What would you think of a man who openly fantasized about having access to ... (read in full...)
Yells, screams and is needlessly hostile to me. How do I deal with my BF when he is like this?
Q. Needlessly hostile boyfriend, hard to deal with. I'm on my last nerve with my boyfriend, and I feel like I have no one else to turn to. We've been dating for over a year, and we're both 21. This weekend was supposed to be a good, fun couple of days ...
A. 30 September 2013: Yes, OP, you should have left. Long ago. Clearly the honeymoon is over and your boyfriend is no longer interested in impressing you.
The best way to communicate your dissatisfaction is to leave without another word and never come back. When he ... (read in full...)
I am giving him a second chance although he lies and cheats.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for just over three years now, and it's my first long term relationship. We've had our ups and downs just like anyone. Recently we had a heart to heart, he went out to lunch with a girl who he had been deleting messages ...
A. 25 September 2013: Wasn't something that happened in the heat of the moment, I meant. ... (read in full...)
I am giving him a second chance although he lies and cheats.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for just over three years now, and it's my first long term relationship. We've had our ups and downs just like anyone. Recently we had a heart to heart, he went out to lunch with a girl who he had been deleting messages ...
A. 18 September 2013: Your boyfriend's indiscretion was something that happened in the heat of the moment. It was a pattern of behaviour sustained over a period of time.
OP, there is a Latin expression that, in English, means 'to a willing person no wrong is done'. I... (read in full...)
New Bf almost seems to want me to be Jealous. Where should this line be drawn?
Q. I'm looking for opinions on where the line falls between being a jealous girlfriend and being a disrespectful boyfriend. I try really hard to be someone my new (about 2 months) boyfriend can stand to put up with. I give him space, I do nice thi...
A. 18 September 2013: The line should have been drawn long ago.
OP, you make this budding whatever it is sound more like a job interview than a partnership. It is not up to you to make yourself the best girlfriend for his entertainment and convenience, but to be the b... (read in full...)
Is it ok to be jealous when his ex-lovers call?
Q. I know this sounds ridiculously stupid and the answer is obviously "YES!" But, how do you guys feel about it? And what can I do to stop it. My boyfriend's ex-sex partners keep texting him. These girls are from, like, last year, and he keeps saying h...
A. 18 September 2013: OP, basing your happiness on what someone else might, will or should do is a recipe for misery. You can only control what YOU do.
And what you can do is set limits for yourself. Decide what is and isn't good for you and what you will and won't li... (read in full...)
Everytime his parents come to visit, he goes MIA!
Q. Hey everyone, I am dating my boyfriend for about 5 months now! Everytime his parents come to visit or stay at his place he goes MIA(missing in action)..first off we are in a long distane relationship so the only thing that keeps us together is the p...
A. 16 September 2013: I have to agree with SVC. Spending time with his parents is not MIA. Life happens and people have other social obligations so you've got to be flexible.
If they're visiting for the weekend, why not assume that you won't hear from him at all unti... (read in full...)
Tells me to be honest, but he gets mad When I am?
Q. My boyfriend always says that he wants me to be open and honest with him about everything no matter what it is. Especially if it has to do with another guy an he would do the same But the thing is, when Im open and honest with him he gets upset wi...
A. 28 August 2013: He wants you to be honest with him, not to earn your trust, but to trick you into giving him greater control.
People like him are too high maintenance and not worth the time and effort.
... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I'll move in with boyfriend but end up spending most of my time alone
Q. Hi everyone, I'm looking for some second opinions on my situation if that's ok? So I'm 28 and I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. He is 26. He has just asked me to move in with him but I'm not sure if I want to or not. The main re...
A. 27 August 2013: I hate that....
Anyway, OP, I have to agree with the others. Your boyfriend's priorities are clear and there is nothing wrong with them as long as he is supporting himself and not expecting someone else to make a him a big priority in their lif... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I'll move in with boyfriend but end up spending most of my time alone
Q. Hi everyone, I'm looking for some second opinions on my situation if that's ok? So I'm 28 and I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. He is 26. He has just asked me to move in with him but I'm not sure if I want to or not. The main re...
A. 27 August 2013: OP... (read in full...)
Nothing has been said since I reminded her of her sexual past, should I bring it back up?
Q. I am upset over something but don’t have the right to be. I posted last hear on Dear cupid and got some good feed back. Let me explain and get your reaction. I have suffered from retroactive jealousy for a number of years. I realize the p...
A. 27 August 2013: OP, I don't think anyone here thinks you're a bad guy. Many of us have gone through something similar and can relate.... (read in full...)
Nothing has been said since I reminded her of her sexual past, should I bring it back up?
Q. I am upset over something but don’t have the right to be. I posted last hear on Dear cupid and got some good feed back. Let me explain and get your reaction. I have suffered from retroactive jealousy for a number of years. I realize the p...
A. 26 August 2013: I forgot to add...
Your wife does not want your son philandering all over the campus, knocking up young women, getting into fights with angry boyfriends and picking up STDs. So relax on that issue. ... (read in full...)
Nothing has been said since I reminded her of her sexual past, should I bring it back up?
Q. I am upset over something but don’t have the right to be. I posted last hear on Dear cupid and got some good feed back. Let me explain and get your reaction. I have suffered from retroactive jealousy for a number of years. I realize the p...
A. 26 August 2013: You've brought this up several times already and it has done more harm than good. I don't see why bringing it up YET AGAIN will be any more effective.
And you aren't trying to clarify your wife's stance on your son and what he MIGHT do, but on w... (read in full...)
Should I just not talk to random girls?
Q. I am the type of guy who can easily have a friendly chat with strangers, both male and female. Once in a while, after it, I may ask a female out. The other day, I was waiting for a bus, and there was an older lady and a young girl there. As I was ...
A. 26 August 2013: Heartbroken is a bit dramatic, but I can understand why others thought you were interested.
If you're selecting young, attractive women to talk to then it isn't exactly random.
And you should be careful about doling out compliments. It'... (read in full...)
Am I prudish for not wanting to ejaculate in her mouth?
Q. I have a girlfriend for the first time in my life. We've been together for almost 6 months. She told me before we committed to a serious relationship that she was very sexual since she was 15. I was a virgin but lied and told her I had a few sexual ...
A. 26 August 2013: OP, I got caught up in the other answers that I missed your actual question. You asked whether or not this was prudish, not whether or not it was selfish. My answer is no, it is not prudish. Just a personal preference and probably more common than ... (read in full...)
Am I prudish for not wanting to ejaculate in her mouth?
Q. I have a girlfriend for the first time in my life. We've been together for almost 6 months. She told me before we committed to a serious relationship that she was very sexual since she was 15. I was a virgin but lied and told her I had a few sexual ...
A. 26 August 2013: Wow. I can't believe some of the nasty responses you've received. Swallowing other people's body fluids was never a favourite past time of mine either. So no, I do not think you're being selfish.
You're not obliged to like something and do it ju... (read in full...)
Disrespectful daughter is on the streets now she wants to come home should I let her come back?
Q. Dear Cupid,I am a very blessed single parent of two girls and one boy my son is the baby .All of my children are grown .But my second oldest daughter we have been at each other throats everyday since she got her period we have been in to it every ...
A. 26 August 2013: I agree that there must be conditions and that everyone needs to know what is expected of them, but laying down the law also lays the foundation for future conflict. She doesn't need an overlord and you don't need the extra work and ... (read in full...)
A guy I was messaging online wanted me to do things I wasn't prepared to do and in the end he stopped contacting me. Now I see he's viewed my profile again. What does this mean?
Q. I have been on and off a dating site for about 5 months and have made a few pen pals. In the first few months there was a guy, he is 29 years old and he wanted a friends with benefits situation. In the beginning he was sort of nice complimenting ...
A. 23 August 2013: The obvious answer to your question is no, you should definitely not contact him. And I wouldn't read anything into his checking your profile. It's not a sign of regret, just idle curiosity.
The man pressed you to do things you weren't comforta... (read in full...)
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