Given his history is it unreasonable to tell him not to go to the stag party?
Q. Am I being unreasonable? My boyfriend of 19 months is best man at his best friend's wedding next year . I said he shouldn't go on his stag doo because on past ones my boyfriend went on he went with three different prostitutes when they all went...
A. 17 December 2013: I can understand your concern here given his history, but trying to set limits for him is likely to produce unfavourable results. He'll either resist or outright lie.
He may not have cheated but he exercise poor judgment and expose himself ... (read in full...)
Is he just being stubborn or does he just want to remain friends?
Q. I was seeing a guy for a good two months and we were fab together. Always laughing, had loadz fun together, both felt the same, couldnt get enough of each other. I started to get really strong feelings for him to which he reciprocated by telling me ...
A. 16 December 2013: Your follow up just reinforces my original answer.
He didn't call you when he was sober to invite you out on a proper date. Instead he called you the way he'd order take out.
He was bored and horny at the wedding which is why he called you. I... (read in full...)
Can someone who fell out of love fall back in love?
Q. My bf of 2 years just broke up with me with saying, he fell out of love. He tells me this has been going on for a few months and he doesn't think he can recover from it. He was so much in love with me. I was the center of his attention. We talked a...
A. 15 December 2013: Highly unlikely. To keep trying would be to aggravate him and prolong your own suffering.
No contact is probably the best thing you can do right now. Give yourself time to grieve and regroup.
... (read in full...)
Should I spend three more years pursuing a degree in a field I dislike?
Q. this isnt really a relationship question but more of a futuristic decision. I have never been confident, stuck in a dead end job, got a great degree but all employee's care about is previous experience. I ask myself how can u get experience without ...
A. 15 December 2013: Three years is a lot of time to spend doing something you dislike. And there is the possibility that any employer who pays for further education will want to be reimbursed if you decide to move on before they've gotten their moneys worth, which is ... (read in full...)
My husband makes twice what I do but wants to split our bills 50/50
Q. I live in an apartment with husband, Here is a break down of our expenses and earnings monthly Rent $920 inclusive of hydro. Tv phone and internet 102. Food around $300 - $330 Also we pay for apartment insurance. Food also includes a...
A. 15 December 2013: Is housework split evenly down the middle? How does he plan to enforce this? What plans does he have for the extra money?
How does getting a divorce and splitting the assets evenly down the middle strike his fancy?
Having separate account... (read in full...)
I feel I'm at my emotional limit with this relationship
Q. I need some help and advice with a relatively new relationship I'm in. The relationship started out complicated but that in itself is a very long story so I'm hoping I can escape going into that. Basically, we got together in September and ev...
A. 14 December 2013: One month of dating is rather soon to be having arguments. The time to pack it in was right after the very first time he crossed the line back in October. Your boyfriend is not depressed. He may not be happy but he is not depressed. Depre... (read in full...)
He's prepared to live off mommy's money -- Is this an irreconcilable difference?
Q. My boyfriend is a spoiled "mama's boy." He's 21 (as am I) and we have been together for four years. His mother is very wealthy, has fancy cars and 6 apartments and recently told him that he will inherit all of this. Since this discovery, my ...
A. 14 December 2013: Break it off because, like him, it's going nowhere.
He may have all the fancy toys he can dream of and all the spare time he needs to play with them but what he doesn't have is power or freedom. He is a slave and as long as his mother controls... (read in full...)
Is he just being stubborn or does he just want to remain friends?
Q. I was seeing a guy for a good two months and we were fab together. Always laughing, had loadz fun together, both felt the same, couldnt get enough of each other. I started to get really strong feelings for him to which he reciprocated by telling me ...
A. 14 December 2013: You may not have handled it well but it could be that your instincts about this guy were spot on. I think he's been grooming you from the beginning.
His withdrawal seems sudden and oddly timed for a legitimate suitor. Right at the moment he was b... (read in full...)
Does this guy even care? Is he upset? Did I do something wrong here?
Q. I need some advice. I have been talking (texting) to this guy who I met through a friend for about a month now. He seems interested in me, but I have been very caution about him. The thing that I hate about him is that if I text him, he doesn't ...
A. 14 December 2013: As cliché as it sounds, he's just not that into you.
My advice is not to contact him ever again and don't respond if he contacts you.
A gentleman does not court a woman by leaving her guessing. His interest, his intentions and his high regard ... (read in full...)
My Gf's phone background is a picture of a half naked guy. How can I deal with this?
Q. I'm kind of disgusted and mad that my girlfriend has a picture of a half naked guy... with a puppy on her phone... The thing is, I see her on the phone all the time. It annoys me and I said something and she was like well you had a girl on your phon...
A. 14 December 2013: As the others have said if it's a celebrity or an anonymous model then it has no real significance to her. If it's an ex or someone she knows then it's poor judgment on her part to have it as a background.
Do you watch porn? And if so what doe... (read in full...)
I'm so scared that this 4 week break so early on in our relationship is going to ruin us.
Q. I've been seeing my boyf since the summer and been official for the last 2 months. Everything is going great. So far he seems my perfect man and I'm so happy. But here's the thing, last week he went home for xmas, he'll be gone 3-4 weeks. He's ...
A. 14 December 2013: So if I've understood you correctly your concern is not so much the time apart but how that time apart is spent (i.e. sexting) and that this will become a pattern that will be difficult to break when he returns, yes?
My suggestion then is to steer... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a girl whispers to her friend when you are around her ?
Q. What does it mean when a girl whispers to her friend when you are around her ? and?then when you look at her she laughs and smiles at me it happened to me I was talking to her female staff members at the gym this girls friend came in at the gym ...
A. 14 December 2013: I'm with CindyCares.
My first answer is that she is rather rude and immature. And my second is, if she seems otherwise friendly with you, then she may find you attractive and be a little shy. It's still rude and immature, but it may also be a sig... (read in full...)
Should I send this letter to my narcissistic ex?
Q. My ex dumped me 6 months ago. A few months ago after I read something on the Internet, I realized that I'm a narcissist victim. I'm trying to move on, but I still think about him a lot. The last time i sent him a message was 2 months ago and he ...
A. 14 December 2013: Definitely do NOT send him that letter.
You should be grateful he ignored you the last time. And if he didn't care then, he won't care now. That's the nature of a narcissist. They don't care about anyone but themselves. Telling him how you feel... (read in full...)
Should I expect an official invite or am I just creating drama?
Q. I've been in a long term relationship with my bf and we have been living together for 2 years. His nieces birthday is coming up and I've been uncomfortable to attend because I haven't received an invite however my bf feels that it makes no ...
A. 14 December 2013: Selina, you haven't given us any reason to think his family are terrible people. You don't get on well with the sister but you manage to be civil with one another in mixed company. Neither you nor anyone else has done anything so grievous to the ... (read in full...)
Please help - I found dodgy photos on my boyfriend's computer.
Q. Hi everyone, I'm a bit confused and any insight would be appreciated as I can't talk to anyone else about this. My boyfriend is a sweet guy, I always knew he had a Pervy side but all guys do and that didn't really bother me.... Until I found pic...
A. 12 December 2013: He would never act on it? He IS acting on it. He's BEEN acting on it, OP. This is no idle fantasy. He had to go to some lengths and take considerable risks to do what he did.
And what he did is shocking and the most vile betrayal, not only of ... (read in full...)
Should I expect an official invite or am I just creating drama?
Q. I've been in a long term relationship with my bf and we have been living together for 2 years. His nieces birthday is coming up and I've been uncomfortable to attend because I haven't received an invite however my bf feels that it makes no ...
A. 12 December 2013: Your boyfriend is right. They didn't send you a special invitation because that would be weird. You live together as a couple so the invitation is for both of you.
Wives don't get separate invitations or Christmas cards.... (read in full...)
I don't want to seem clingy, but he's stopped calling and texting
Q. Hi there. I need some help. I've recently started seeing a guy. We get on really well and have a great time when we are together. I've been round his house and stayed a few times and we've made love. The problem is he seems to have stopped texting ...
A. 10 December 2013: This isn't confusing at all.
You're not seeing him. You were never dating. He got what he came for and now he's gone. He may come sniffing around once in a while to see if you're in heat, but that's all he's interested in.
OP, what worked for ... (read in full...)
I was expecting another chance for us
Q. I have been hanging out with my ex boyfriend this past month, after being broken up for about 5 months. Yes we are sleeping together, hanging out, acting like a couple. But he tells me today that he is not ready to get back into a relationship. He ...
A. 10 December 2013: His honesty? If he were being honest he'd have informed you he wasn't ready for a relationship BEFORE enjoying all the trappings of one. What he did, OP, was akin to consuming a full course meal, then dessert and when presented with the bill, d... (read in full...)
Is it weird to invite a friend along on quasi-dates?
Q. Is it weird to arrange a date and invite friends along. Someone I met online invited his friend along once, I had no objection, and thought what a great idea. It totally took the edge off the meeting and made it much more relaxed and fun. But I get ...
A. 10 December 2013: It can work sometimes, such as a blind double date, but it also depends upon where you're going, the people involved, what contact, if any they've had beforehand and their expectations.
I would prefer my first date with someone to be one on one, ... (read in full...)
How do we mend our relationship once the trust has been broken?
Q. I met this guy a year ago, We dated but he cheated on me with this girl who hated me( his ex). I know he cared for her but I also know she did it to break us up. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction so I tried to work it out with him, but she ...
A. 10 December 2013: I don't subscribe to the belief that once a cheater always a cheater. You have to review each case as it comes. There are a couple of points in this case I will mention because I think there is a good chance he will re-offend. Here's why: 1... (read in full...)
Big misunderstanding with almost-boyfriend leads to me being ignored. I don't know what this all means.
Q. I met M several weeks ago through a friend. We hit it off and a few days after having met him, we were pretty inseparable. Despite the 10-year age difference (I'm 25, he's 35), we seemed to get along really well. He works as a restaurant manager, ...
A. 10 December 2013: He isn't the only who's drama. His rush for a relationship was a red flag for me but you caught that too and while I thought there was way too much contact, you did seem to be keeping an eye on the situation. I thought you had some sense about... (read in full...)
Can we find a way to communicate our needs better or are we just too different from one another to make this work?
Q. I'm not sure if anyone can help me with this. But my relationship is going downhill, and we don't know if there is anything we can do, or if we should break up. Things have been rough for a while now. We have a great time together, we laugh, we have ...
A. 10 December 2013: Op, your follow up (thank you for that by the way) gives a very different impression from the one you first left me with. I don't know if you weren't clear or I misunderstood or it was some combination of the two.
In your original post you said... (read in full...)
Confusing signals from an ex who broke up with me. What should I do?
Q. I started dating this really awesome guy in august. Things went really well for a month and I started pressuring him to put a title on the relationship. He said he wasn't ready for that and I said I was ok with it but still kept pressuring him until ...
A. 10 December 2013: It may be that you're more of a challenge now. It could also be that he has the breathing space he didn't have before. You're at a safe distance and as long as you maintain some of that distance he can be more confident in approaching you. Approach ... (read in full...)
I feel like he`s putting his friend first
Q. Hi I have been going with my bf for about two years. We don't live together we live about twenty mins apart. But since I move from the same village he always spends time at his friends on the drink and only comes to c me about four times week. I do ...
A. 9 December 2013: I agree. Four nights out of seven means he's spending most of his time with you. With what's left to him he has to find time for himself and other friends. How much more time were you expecting him to spend with you?
I think you're expectin... (read in full...)
Can we find a way to communicate our needs better or are we just too different from one another to make this work?
Q. I'm not sure if anyone can help me with this. But my relationship is going downhill, and we don't know if there is anything we can do, or if we should break up. Things have been rough for a while now. We have a great time together, we laugh, we have ...
A. 9 December 2013: Whether it's for business or pleasure travelling can be exhausting. Most people look forward to finally getting home, settling in and getting things in order when they return. Others understand this and tend to give the traveller whatever time and ... (read in full...)
I want him to make me his girlfriend but he still talks to other women on the dating site!
Q. I met this guy on a dating site a few weeks ago. We've had a few amazing dates and ended up fooling around just a little (no actual sex though). I really like him and we have so much in common, we're so compatible and look great together. The pr...
A. 9 December 2013: Needy and desperate.
It's only been a few weeks and he certainly isn't in any hurry. I don't know why you are.
If you're as pretty as you claim to be and men are as predictable as you seem to think then you should have tons of other options. T... (read in full...)
He tried to stick me with the bill on our first meeting ...
Q. I met this guy who I thought really likes me. We exchanged phone numbers, and few days later he offered to meet. So we go for a walk in one of the cool areas of the city, and we walk and walk, walk and walk, talk and around 2 p.m. I felt naut...
A. 8 December 2013: Good for you!
If the man had, by some unforeseen circumstances and through no fault of his own, been unable to pay the bill, had informed you the moment he discovered it and did his best to minimize the damage and/or offer to reimburse you late... (read in full...)
Third date and he wants me to stay over ...
Q. Dear aunties I am goibg on my third date tomorrow with a guy. First date we kissed, second date we also kissed but he said he had three pints so was not safe to drive. So I said he could stay on the sofa. Then inside he said he wanted to stay i...
A. 7 December 2013: Then send him an email, not a text. Be honest and brief. Just tell him you don't want to see him anymore. You're being pushed to do too much too quickly and that's not your style. Wish him well in his search, then block him.
Do NOT offer or agree... (read in full...)
I'm obsessed with the girl my boyfriend was in love with before me
Q. I ruined my boyfriend's relationship with his best friend. I didn't mean to, but it was absolutely my fault. My boyfriend (of three years) had been in love with his childhood friend for many years, and remained in love with her when we started ...
A. 7 December 2013: You don't have to cut it off cold turkey, because you likely won't and you'll just end up feeling even more guilt and it will be more baggage to carry around.
But you can start to reduce the time spent doing it with an eye toward eliminat... (read in full...)
My boyfriend broke up with me for not supporting him in an argument with my mum
Q. Hello everyone. Ive recently split up with my boyfriend of 4 years, we met at university and practically lived together since, as relationships go we've had out ups and downs. I'm very close to my mum, my dad died when i was 4 so i have just gro...
A. 7 December 2013: Yeah, that comment irked me as well.
OP, I suspect if your father were still alive your boyfriend wouldn't be quite so pushy in your parent's house. What fountain of wisdom is he drawing from when confronting your mother, twice his age, in her o... (read in full...)
Should I cut contact with the girls I used to flirt with and focus on the one I really like?
Q. I feel bad about this whole situation, okay there is this amazing girl whom my eyes were always attracted to and I've kept my eye on this chick for months I never made a move, I never even talked to her before and last Monday I was flirting with a ...
A. 7 December 2013: Severing contact with the other girls you flirt with would be the sensible and most obvious course of action.
As for feeling bad, what is it that bothers you exactly? Is it regret for having lied to the other girls or fear that the one you have... (read in full...)
Third date and he wants me to stay over ...
Q. Dear aunties I am goibg on my third date tomorrow with a guy. First date we kissed, second date we also kissed but he said he had three pints so was not safe to drive. So I said he could stay on the sofa. Then inside he said he wanted to stay i...
A. 7 December 2013: Something else...
It would help you to reconsider your value in the dating market. You're probably operating under the assumption that the men you meet online are getting the same amount of attention from women as you are from other men. Countles... (read in full...)
Third date and he wants me to stay over ...
Q. Dear aunties I am goibg on my third date tomorrow with a guy. First date we kissed, second date we also kissed but he said he had three pints so was not safe to drive. So I said he could stay on the sofa. Then inside he said he wanted to stay i...
A. 7 December 2013: Do you want to continue seeing him, within your boundaries or do you want to put him behind you and move on entirely?
If you want to give him another chance, you could send him a text saying 'Hi there. For our third date I would like to see the ... (read in full...)
I'm obsessed with the girl my boyfriend was in love with before me
Q. I ruined my boyfriend's relationship with his best friend. I didn't mean to, but it was absolutely my fault. My boyfriend (of three years) had been in love with his childhood friend for many years, and remained in love with her when we started ...
A. 7 December 2013: I think you need to give yourself a break here and put things in perspective. YOU did not ruin his friendship. Your boyfriend decided his connection to you took priority over any connection he had to her and acted accordingly, which was the ap... (read in full...)
Third date and he wants me to stay over ...
Q. Dear aunties I am goibg on my third date tomorrow with a guy. First date we kissed, second date we also kissed but he said he had three pints so was not safe to drive. So I said he could stay on the sofa. Then inside he said he wanted to stay i...
A. 7 December 2013: Is he just after sex? We can't be sure, but he isn't doing anything to reassure you that he isn't, is he?
Is he expecting sex? Again, we can't be absolutely sure, but based on the success he's had with you so far, it's highly likely. At the very... (read in full...)
What am I doing wrong?
Q. I think I am doing something wrong when it comes to dating. Every time I am with a girl I seem to screw it up or the circumstance won't let me advance further. For example, the other day I was in a party and I was hanging with a girl who seemed to ...
A. 4 December 2013: Are you simply looking for an evening of fun or hoping to get to know them better?
If it's the latter I'd say parties are probably not the best way to meet women. Too much competition, too much noise, too many distractions. And many of them wil... (read in full...)
Been set up with this guy and wonder about his insecurities
Q. How do I know if I really like this guy? So my friend and her husband set me up with their single guy friend. He lives in another country and is only 45mins on the plane. I don't mind it. We've been talking on the phone and Skype se...
A. 3 December 2013: No good vibes here.
You've only recently begun a correspondence, you haven't yet met in person and he's already making demands and hurling thinly veiled accusations. Bad sign.
He is very high maintenance and you can't fix what's wrong wit... (read in full...)
Four years and he still doesn't know when he'll be ready for marriage?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and yet he still says he doesn't know when he'll be ready for marriage. I've asked him twice now and he's said he does want to 'one day' but he has lots of living to do before then. When I ask him what type ...
A. 3 December 2013: Yeah, I have to agree. 'One day' is about as non committal as it gets.
After four years of dating, your boyfriend is entertaining possibilities that may or may not include you.
My advice is not to mention or even hint about it again. Just s... (read in full...)
Why would two grown men want to play a video game as nothing but sexy dressed characters if it wasn't for the sexiness?
Q. I've been with my bf for 3 years. We're both in our 30's. We don't live together. Anyway, sometimes I feel he's a pervert. lol. I know this sounds silly, and especially at my age, but almost every thing we watch together has T and A in it. He also ...
A. 3 December 2013: I responded to your submission before seeing any of your follow ups so I'll have to revise my answer.
To be honest, I'm starting to suspect you two are better suited to one another than I first thought.
Between his adolescent fixation with bo... (read in full...)
Nasty comment has caused devastation and despair.
Q. I am seeking advice for a close friend. She is from Latin America, moved to Canada a few years back so English is her second language. She is hoping to work in Health Care, she now has her masters and was asked this evening to do a presentation. ...
A. 3 December 2013: Sometimes when we receive a blow like that we just need a little time on our own to regroup. Give your friend the space to do that.
When you do say something keep it brief and be matter of fact. Too much sympathy will only encourage her to focus... (read in full...)
Why would two grown men want to play a video game as nothing but sexy dressed characters if it wasn't for the sexiness?
Q. I've been with my bf for 3 years. We're both in our 30's. We don't live together. Anyway, sometimes I feel he's a pervert. lol. I know this sounds silly, and especially at my age, but almost every thing we watch together has T and A in it. He also ...
A. 3 December 2013: So let me get this straight....
Your 30-35 year old boyfriend seems fixated on all things sexual and goes out of his way to watch it in your company to get a reaction out of you, yet YOU'RE the one who's immature? YOU? really?
Then there is... (read in full...)
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