He's recently gotten married but started contacting me again
Q. Hi, i'd really appreciate some honest opinions. Like a lot of people my age i ended up being very stupid and getting into what you could call a "casual" relationship. It was just sex for him but it wasn't for me and i ended up pretty heart broken. ...
A. 26 December 2013: There is nothing weird about it, especially since you didn't invite him to add you. People do it all the time. ... (read in full...)
I think our friends daughter who is 9 is stealing from us and I'm not sure the best way to deal with it...
Q. I think our friends daughter- who is 9 is stealing from us and I'm not sure the best way to deal with it... Over the year I have noticed that after they visit, small things go missing from our house. At the beginning of the year I noticed that ...
A. 24 December 2013: OP, I don't know if you're low on friends at the moment and this is a case of beggars can't be chooses, but good people do not behave this way, nor do they allow their children to. You're making the same allowances for them that they make for their ... (read in full...)
His dislike of me makes me uncomfortable with my group of friends.
Q. my friendship group has recentally broken down with lots of different people involved in individual fights. during this time i have been dealing with issues with work and my ex so i have spent that much time around it all. however a few weeks ago, ...
A. 24 December 2013: My advice is to behave as you would if you didn't know he disliked you. While nothing is guaranteed, your position among your friends seems to be better than you think, or at least better than he thinks. This guy has been unwilling or una... (read in full...)
My husband has told me he is gay!
Q. Last night my husband admitted to me he was gay. He said he didn't want to have these feelings and won't follow up on them, he wants to stay married to me and have sex with me. He said he does like women, but only certain select women, has never had ...
A. 23 December 2013: If I were in your situation I wouldn't be in any rush to make a decision either way. There is no deadline here. This is not time sensitive information.
If you've enjoyed a good marriage thus far and your husband is also your friend, then I say co... (read in full...)
MY boyfriend is convinced I'm cheating and I'm not
Q. Hi there. I am writing because I have no one else to turn to really. So let me just get to it. Ive been with my boyfriend for 1 year and 8 months. I love him to bits but being with him is litrally killing me. Today I found my boyfriends profile ...
A. 23 December 2013: Like most people who read your post, I had your boyfriend and your situation sized up just by reading the title. The first paragraph confirmed it and the rest was just torture to read.
You've heard the expression 'the best defense is a good off... (read in full...)
My boyfriend asked me to marry him in 4 or 5 years
Q. I am so broken hearted! My boyfriend asked me to marry him last night and I was so excited But tonight wanted to go look at rings and he don't want to buy me one cause it will cut into his beer money and he says I just asked you to marry me but I d...
A. 23 December 2013: In four or five years, or longer? That's about as non committal as they come.
And he won't dip into his beer fund to spring for a ring?
My advice is leave him to drown in his beer. Please don't waste another day, another week or year with thi... (read in full...)
The online guy I talk to blows hot and cold!
Q. Hello, I have a bit of a dilemma. I have been talking to a guy online and we have really good conversations. He told me he is a bit shy and I told him I am too. He told me that he likes my photos a lot and he looks at them quite often. He ...
A. 23 December 2013: You're very welcome. Best of luck. :)
And thanks for the follow up. ... (read in full...)
How can I encourage my boyfriend to adopt a healthier lifestyle?
Q. I have been in a relationship for over two years now with a man much older than me. I love him so very much and genuinely love spending time with him. Before meeting him, I was on a very successful path of losing weight and right around our 3 months ...
A. 23 December 2013: I wouldn't discuss it again. You've already done that. He's aware of your position on this and it hasn't worked thus far.
What you can do is exercise greater discipline yourself in eating only those healthy foods you purchase (an allowing for the ... (read in full...)
He's recently gotten married but started contacting me again
Q. Hi, i'd really appreciate some honest opinions. Like a lot of people my age i ended up being very stupid and getting into what you could call a "casual" relationship. It was just sex for him but it wasn't for me and i ended up pretty heart broken. ...
A. 23 December 2013: A couple more thought I should have included.
Changing jobs, moving to a new place, buying a house, getting married, having a child, a vacation abroad are notable events in a person's life which tend to come up fairly quickly in a conversa... (read in full...)
He's recently gotten married but started contacting me again
Q. Hi, i'd really appreciate some honest opinions. Like a lot of people my age i ended up being very stupid and getting into what you could call a "casual" relationship. It was just sex for him but it wasn't for me and i ended up pretty heart broken. ...
A. 23 December 2013: He was checking to see how available you were. Not necessarily for that particular moment, but as a future stand by.
The fact that he would try to revive a previously sexual acquaintance is highly suspect. I don't imagine his new wife would be... (read in full...)
Should I distance myself from my boyfriend while I sort out my mental health issues?
Q. Dear Aunts and Uncles, I hope I can receive some advice or opinion from others. A few weeks or so ago I spent time in a psychiatric hospital. I had a break down and was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder because of trauma suffe...
A. 23 December 2013: I think before you make big decisions for his own good you owe it to him to at least give him a vote. If you decide you want some space for YOUR well being, well that's a different matter. ... (read in full...)
Am I being mean or is she trying to use me?
Q. I know lots of you guys can give me insight because we all in some way felt there was a person who wanted to use us in some way. I appreciate all advice. Okay so my girlfriend and I have been dating a good month or two. We hardly spend any time ...
A. 22 December 2013: Gee. Someone who always wants something but is somehow never able or willing to reciprocate. And asking you for money within three weeks of becoming involved with you. Um....yep I'd say she was using you.
Kick her to the curb. The sooner the bett... (read in full...)
The online guy I talk to blows hot and cold!
Q. Hello, I have a bit of a dilemma. I have been talking to a guy online and we have really good conversations. He told me he is a bit shy and I told him I am too. He told me that he likes my photos a lot and he looks at them quite often. He ...
A. 22 December 2013: He may be shy but he is certainly rude to just up and leave a conversation without excusing himself. This is not how adults behave.
I wouldn't waste any more time with this one. He may not be a terrible guy, but you want someone who is already ... (read in full...)
I recently gave up my virginity and still find sex uncomfortable
Q. Hi, I’m currently in a new relationship with my boyfriend and I have lost my virginity to him. We have tried having sex twice. Every time we have sex, it feels slightly uncomfortable and very tight. My boyfriend can only manage to enter his cock ...
A. 22 December 2013: Yeah, you might want to spend more time engaging in foreplay. You're probably rushing things.
Give yourself time to relax, ease into it (pardon the pun) gradually.... (read in full...)
How do I inform my friends and family that I'm now a vegan?
Q. Basically I converted to veganism 2 months ago because i nolonger want to contribute to the violence towards animals, with the bonus of improving my health and being one step closer to saving the planet. Now i've keep this a secret from ever...
A. 22 December 2013: You don't need to make a grand declaration. The next time someone invites you to dinner, you could simply tell them you don't eat meat but you'll be happy with the rest.
Stick to the facts, say only what you have to, don't volunteer any explanat... (read in full...)
I'm afraid my lack of sexual experience makes me a less than satisfactory lover
Q. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend about 4 months ago, he's 2 years older than me and I know he has had sex before so he knew what he was doing. Since then, we've been sexually active and have sex 4-5 times a week. However, I feel like I'm not ...
A. 22 December 2013: Have you tried asking your boyfriend if he enjoys what you're doing and whether or not he wants you to do more?
You don't have to have a long drawn out discussion. You could simply tell him to let you know if there is something he wants you to do, ... (read in full...)
He left when they were babies, and now wants to be "dad"!
Q. I live in (MOD NOTE: City was deleted for privacy) Florida and have 3 daughters; twins [non-identical] aged 23 and a 19-year-old daughter who is their half-sister born to my husband (the twins' stepdad). The twins were born in 1989, and the father ...
A. 22 December 2013: The prodigal son. This reunion is for your ex's benefit alone. Not your daughters' and certain not yours. He's only interested in forging a relationship because he's down on his luck. If he were at the top of his game he'd be steering clear of you ... (read in full...)
My fiancee is being abused by her mother
Q. Well, I recently found out that my fiancee is being emotionally and verbally abused by her mother. I looked up under section 6 felony. But does this mean that my fiancee mom go to jail or get a warning etc? But this is crazy how my fiancee's mom is ...
A. 22 December 2013: Reporting her mother for abuse is the wrong thing to do. In your previous posts you said her mother caressed her face and treated her like a child. This may be annoying but it is far from abusive.
In another post you said her mother was trying t... (read in full...)
Boyfriend storms out because I wasnt in the mood for sex
Q. My bf basically stormed out of my apartment because i wouldnt have sex with him. We've been together for 6 years. Some nights neither of us feel like it (bith tired from work etc) or even he doesnt. No big deal. He kept going on and on about how ...
A. 22 December 2013: You do NOT contact him.
I doubt it was his ego and even if it were, so what? Is rejection or disappointment somehow more pleasant for you than for him?
This relationship has seen better days. His childish behaviour, his sullenness and t... (read in full...)
He's recently gotten married but started contacting me again
Q. Hi, i'd really appreciate some honest opinions. Like a lot of people my age i ended up being very stupid and getting into what you could call a "casual" relationship. It was just sex for him but it wasn't for me and i ended up pretty heart broken. ...
A. 22 December 2013: The title to your question says it all.
He's after a booty call. That's it. Nothing has changed. He's hoping that after enough time has passed you'll have missed him enough to take a chance and let your panties down.
Delete and block him on... (read in full...)
I like a coworker but she is taken and her boyfriend could be abusive. What's my next step?
Q. to cut a long story short, shes Polish came over here with her boyfriend 4 years ago 3 years ago she started at my work not long after she started we got on really well spending time together etc, it came to the point were we had to do something ...
A. 22 December 2013: You do nothing. Even if she were suddenly single tomorrow, she'd need time on her own to regroup before plunging into another relationship.
It's not your place to rescue her. She has to change her circumstances when she's ready.... (read in full...)
We agree to meet ..... and then he cancels!
Q. So, I've been talking to this guy online for almost a couple of months and he first asked me out about a month ago but then cancelled because he realised he had plans that evening. We exchanged numbers after this and he called to ask me out the ...
A. 22 December 2013: I know. I got that, but you shouldn't have called him. He keeps bailing out and you keep chasing him.
Write this one off. ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to save our relationship!
Q. Dear Cupid I am with my bf for 3 years. I am still not feeling secured in the relationship, he often throws words like im bored with u, i would like to take a break, i would like to hug my boss (lady) very tight, my lady boss has big b..bs, thing...
A. 22 December 2013: Like many other submissions from women with poor judgment this one falls under the heading 'For Christ's Sake!.
OP, you cannot save this relationship, but you can save your dignity and your spiritual, psychological and emotional well being by... (read in full...)
Do you think it's okay to wish my ex Happy Christmas next week?
Q. I dated someone I was really keen on for a couple of months, however she broke up with me because I had to move away. She said an LDR was too hard and she wanted to be friends as she said I was still important to her. I got annoyed and we didn't end ...
A. 22 December 2013: I can understand the temptation, but I don't think you should act on it.
She's your ex and has asked you not to contact her again. Doing so would blur the line and leave her questioning your intentions. It would look as though you're using Ch... (read in full...)
We have a secret friendship.
Q. A long time ago I briefly met a guy at the end of a festival. He lives on the other side of the country. We exchanged numbers and ended up talking online for almost a year. We both were in relationships when we met and I still am though he is single ...
A. 22 December 2013: I agree. And the things is, OP, you weren't just cheating. You're now hoping to meet up with him in person despite the fact that he clearly isn't interested in you whatsoever. You've already served your purpose. You were a good diversi... (read in full...)
His ex wife wants him back!
Q. Well hello I really need some help... I been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now and he has two kids with his ex wife... Things have been great with us and he has been there for me through everything... I love his children too... The day w...
A. 22 December 2013: You've already lost him. And a good thing too because the man is an absolute cad. Who tells someone they're leaving them on a specific date to go back to their ex? Either he's hoping you have a shred of self respect and will leave now or he ... (read in full...)
We agree to meet ..... and then he cancels!
Q. So, I've been talking to this guy online for almost a couple of months and he first asked me out about a month ago but then cancelled because he realised he had plans that evening. We exchanged numbers after this and he called to ask me out the ...
A. 22 December 2013: I wouldn't contact this man again. Ever.
Whether he's interested but shy or not interested really doesn't matter at this point because he's made zero effort to make a good first impression. He's cancelled at the last minute three times and one ... (read in full...)
Every girl needs a bad boy...... right?
Q. Okay so i need help, theres this boy who i like and he likes me too but people including my friends tell me that he's not a nice person and that he will ruin everything for me such as see other girls. However, when i talk to him i never see that ...
A. 22 December 2013: No woman needs a bad boy. And while it is possible your friends are judging him harshly, chances are they're not. They're aren't infatuated with him so they're seeing what you aren't.
Just because someone is nice to you does not mean they're ... (read in full...)
I promised my girlfriend to never kiss or do anything sexual with her or masturbate, any comments?
Q. I have no idea what to do or dont do. I made a few promises to my girlfriend and two of them are to never do anything sexual to her (including kissing) and never masterbate. Since my girlfriend thinks sex is gross and painful, I respected her ...
A. 22 December 2013: It is unreasonable and unrealistic of your girlfriend to expect, from you, a lifetime commitment to sexual abstinence. And the prohibition to masturbate is really over reaching.
Whether or not you want to make an issue of it is up to you. At ... (read in full...)
Would you say it is rude to ask visitors to take their shoes off before entering your home?
Q. Would you say it is rude to ask visitors to take their shoes off before entering your home? I have a small wooden sign hanging up in my hallway saying "Please remove your shoes," and am wondering if this may appear rude. I wouldn't throw a tantrum ...
A. 20 December 2013: Is it rude to ask visitors to remove their shoes? Seriously? I think it's very ill mannered of people not to remove their shoes.
I don't like visitors with bare feet either, but there are some circumstances under which I can tolerate it graceful... (read in full...)
Does my wife want me back just because she knows I was seeing someone else?
Q. I have been with my wife tens years and married five . She recently left me for about the third time 6 months ago. We have an 8 year old daughter who is not biologically mine but i have raised her and love her as mine. Each time we break up wife ...
A. 18 December 2013: You're right. I hadn't noticed that.
Not sure if you'd be liable for child support, but you should speak to an attorney just in case.... (read in full...)
Does my wife want me back just because she knows I was seeing someone else?
Q. I have been with my wife tens years and married five . She recently left me for about the third time 6 months ago. We have an 8 year old daughter who is not biologically mine but i have raised her and love her as mine. Each time we break up wife ...
A. 18 December 2013: I'm afraid 'everyone' is right. It's very simple really.
The more you need your wife (not financially but emotionally), the easier you are for her to manipulate. If you have another woman to satisfy your need for companionship, then you no longe... (read in full...)
Marriage being damaged by wife's male friend who has now stayed for more than 2 months
Q. I have been married for 2 years, I am 41 and my wife is 30. We have always been amazing together, and I thought we were happy. We recently started trying for kids, which was her idea, as I was never going to push her until she was ready. She has ...
A. 18 December 2013: Not following my own advice here, but I meant to add this because it is important...
Less is more.
The more you say, the more ammunition you give her (and him) to twist your words and use them against you. Conversely the less you say the grea... (read in full...)
Marriage being damaged by wife's male friend who has now stayed for more than 2 months
Q. I have been married for 2 years, I am 41 and my wife is 30. We have always been amazing together, and I thought we were happy. We recently started trying for kids, which was her idea, as I was never going to push her until she was ready. She has ...
A. 18 December 2013: I'm tempted to tell you to kick both your wife and her idiot friend to the curb. However I won't.
What I will suggest is that you quietly and anonymously contact police, not 999, but the local number and ask them how they recommend you handle t... (read in full...)
My boyfriend mentioned my ex's name.
Q. This morning i asked my bf if he liked that i said his name during sex and he said he did. That it was much better then saying ( ex name) or something else. I thought it was super weird that he said my ex name since ive never mentioned it to him. ...
A. 18 December 2013: You should do nothing. There is nothing to do. You asked him a question and he answered you.
There is no reason to think there was some hidden meaning in what he said. ... (read in full...)
History with two older men, but right now I want neither of them
Q. I am currently depressed and honestly, I deserve it. I created an incredible mess. I was 18 when I met 33yr old "Jack" and though I didn't mean for it to happen, he became my first lover but he wanted to commitment. I was hurt but stuck by because I ...
A. 18 December 2013: I hit 'Enter' prematurely.
You must be very direct, very clear and totally unapologetic. It may seem cruel to you, but that's only because you're not used to doing it. In fact it's the kindest thing you can for all of you.
No more pretending ... (read in full...)
History with two older men, but right now I want neither of them
Q. I am currently depressed and honestly, I deserve it. I created an incredible mess. I was 18 when I met 33yr old "Jack" and though I didn't mean for it to happen, he became my first lover but he wanted to commitment. I was hurt but stuck by because I ...
A. 18 December 2013: You know, these men are not nearly as wounded or vulnerable as you seem to think they are. Both of them have shown a single minded determination to get what they want, and often times at someone else's expense.
Jack was quite happy to enjoy al... (read in full...)
How do I diplomatically bring up the issue of her lying?
Q. hello. can anyone give me advice on how to deal with my lying girlfriend? we've been together for over a year now and she's never been the lying type, but i've got some proof that recently, she's been lying to me about something (not too major)....
A. 17 December 2013: If she isn't the lying type then I say leave it alone and let her come to you on her own time.
Being in a relationship doesn't mean we have to tell our significant others absolutely EVERYTHING the moment it happens. Some things affect us more dee... (read in full...)
He wants to split EVERY expense we incur as a couple and it's causing problems in our relationship
Q. Help needed!! My boyfriend of 6 months ls all for equality to the point that it makes me miserable. Before anyone says that I probably like when guys pay for me, let me give you a little background. We both young professionals , I am 5 y...
A. 17 December 2013: Get out now. At worst it will cost you a bit of money for the cancelled trip, but it's a small price to pay for the greater headache you're saving yourself later.
He undoubtedly has many good qualities, but the bad one is bad enough. There is... (read in full...)
Do I reply to his lovely response?
Q. Hello aunties and uncles I was friends with a man for over 5 years, he's 3 years younger than me.. During the first 6 months we had a fling, and then we became just friends. I fell in love with him and all the way through our friendship I yea...
A. 17 December 2013: Do not respond.
You sent a birthday greeting and he thanked you for it. Leave it on a good note.
Anything more just muddies the waters.
... (read in full...)
How can I build trust and meet new people after being lied to
Q. It's been a few months since I've been on here and really appreciated the mass of advice I got last time. After months of secrecy and lies about who she was meeting and speaking to I plucked up the courage and dumped here. Her excuse being that she ...
A. 17 December 2013: I second what Honeypie said. Give yourself time, ease into it slowly and learn to recognize red flags and take appropriate action much sooner.
The key isn't so much learning to trust others but learning to have faith in yourself that you'll d... (read in full...)
Given his history is it unreasonable to tell him not to go to the stag party?
Q. Am I being unreasonable? My boyfriend of 19 months is best man at his best friend's wedding next year . I said he shouldn't go on his stag doo because on past ones my boyfriend went on he went with three different prostitutes when they all went...
A. 17 December 2013: I can understand your concern here given his history, but trying to set limits for him is likely to produce unfavourable results. He'll either resist or outright lie.
He may not have cheated but he exercise poor judgment and expose himself ... (read in full...)
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